It was nearly midnight when Abby put her babies to sleep, shut down her lab and made her way up to the bullpen. It was fairly dark and it seemed as though everyone had gone home. At least that was what Abby thought until she heard light snoring. She walked past Gibbs desk towards the other end of the room to find Ziva, head down on her desk, fast asleep, dark curls splayed across her face and desk.
Abby continued to observe her for a few moments. God, I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is… Abby thought as she extended her arm to brush the dark strands of hair back from Zivas face.
As soon as Ziva felt the light touch, her head snapped up and her hand went straight to her waist to grab for her knife.
"Whoa Ziva! It's just me!" Abby scrambled to say before Ziva could produce her knife.
"Oh. I am sorry Abby; it is just a reflex…" Ziva explained sheepishly.
"It's cool. Just don't wanna become the object of your super ninja skilled target practice." Abby laughed.
Ziva smiled and Abby wondered why she didn't do that more often. She has such a great smile, Abby thought to herself.
"It is late. What are you still doing here Abby?" Ziva asked.
"I could ask you the same question Ms. David." Abby replied jokingly.
"Oh, I was just finishing my report for Gibbs…" she explained.
"Yeah, I was trying to get those DNA results and fingerprint matches done…" Abby said.
Ziva just nodded in understanding.
"So! How about we have that dinner now? I know it's late but there's this gr-"
"I would love to Abby." Ziva cut her off shyly.
"Awesome. Let's go!" Abby said as she grabbed Zivas hand and pulled her towards the elevator.
"Ok." Ziva squeaked out at the feel of Abby's hand holding hers.
Once they were in the elevator Ziva asked where they were going and Abby simply smiled and said she knew a place.
X
After they had finished eating at a quiet all night Diner, they found themselves back at Abby's apartment, sitting on her couch and drinking their beers in silence.
"Why Abby?" Ziva broke the silence.
Abby looked at her with a puzzled expression on her face.
"Why what?" she queried.
"Why are we here? Why did you ask me to dinner? Why did you suddenly stop hating me? Is this what you Americans call a 'dare' or something?" Ziva finished.
Abby thought for a moment. How should she answer this without completely giving away her feelings for the beautiful Israeli sitting across from her? Here goes… Abby thought.
"Ziva… I don't really know how to explain it; I know we got off to a rough start and I admit that that was mostly my fault and I just… I just want to get to know you better." Abby finished quickly.
"I can understand why you acted the way that you did Abby. I do not blame you for that. You and Kate were close, and my stepping in as her replacement could not have been easy for you…" Ziva trailed off.
"Yeah, Kate and I were….close." Abby said sadly.
"May I ask you a personal question Abby?"
"Uhh… sure." Abby replied.
"Were you and Kate….more that just friends?" She asked gently, her eyes searching Abby's face.
Abby clenched her jaw and stared back at Ziva. She was sure that the other woman could see the emotions and memories flashing through her eyes at that moment. Should she just tell Ziva? Did she trust her that much yet? She made her decision and started to speak.
"Yes. We were… and nobody knew. Not even Gibbs or Ducky. We were very discrete…" Abby chuckled ruefully.
"Kate was Catholic. She always felt guilty about us on some level, even when she tried her hardest not to show it…I knew, I knew it was hard for her to be with me… but we made it work. We loved each other…In our own ways. It was our one year anniversary, the night she was shot…. I woke her up with a kiss that morning; We made love before work… and …and I told her that If she didn't make it home in time for dinner I was gonna kill her. Oh God! I was joking…" Abby trailed off as hot fat tears started sliding down her cheeks, only for her to swipe them away angrily.
Ziva reached across her lap and took Abby's hand, letting her thumb rub soft circles over the other woman's pale skin.
"I am so sorry Abby…I'm just…so sorry. I cannot even imagine how hard that must have been for you." Ziva spoke comfortingly.
Abby laughed darkly. "You know what the hardest part was?"
Ziva looked back at her, waiting for her to continue.
"Everyone expected me to just bounce back... be the same loud bubbly Abby as always... After all, all they knew was that we were friends… they didn't know that I had to come home to an apartment with her clothes in my drawers, on my floors… pictures of us scattered around…" Abby hesitated for a moment then continued.
"When we started getting serious, I quit sleeping in my coffin and bought a bed for us… she never would sleep in my coffin…"Abby reminisced sadly.
Ziva started to say something but Abby cut her off.
"No one knew Ziva! No one knew that I had to come home and sleep on cum stained sheets that smelled like her because I couldn't bear to strip them off… I couldn't…because that was the last place we were together and…and I couldn't take them off. It was like that was all I had left of her…" she finished with a broken sob.
Ziva did the only thing she could think to do and the thing that she was the most uncomfortable with. She wrapped her arms around Abby and stroked her hair.
"It will be Ok Abby. You will be Ok. I am so sorry…. I wish I could take away the hurt."
After a moment, Abby wiped her eyes and sat up to look into Zivas.
"Why are you being so nice to me after the way that I've treated you?" Abby asked brokenly.
"Because I like you Abby, because you are special and because you mean something to me. You deserve to be able to talk about her, You deserve to have someone know… I wish I could have met her. I think I would have liked her…."