-1Disclaimer: Please do not attempt any of the things Meredith does to get attention. They are not only harmful to one's self but not the answer either. If you are currently harming yourself, thinking about it, or know someone who is please, please talk to someone who can help you!
On another note, the real Milton Academy has dining halls in each of the dormitories. For the purposes of this fic I am doing away with those and having a common eating area.
It only hurt for a split second; a small stinging sensation as the razor cut into the ivory toned skinned of her inner thigh. The blood trickled slowly downward, staining the edge of her pale yellow panties and dripping onto the white tile of the bathroom floor. Wouldn't Ellis just die if she knew her prized ten blade had been swiped for self mutilation? Not that the woman would care. The only thing Ellis cared about was finding new ways to prove to people that she was God.
Tucking her lower lip between perfect white teeth, Meredith holds the scalpel with perfect precision as she draws it along another portion of her thigh. Another path of crimson wound down her between her legs to pool on the floor. Her mother would have been proud of the cuts, of the exactness.
"Meredith?" The soft call of her name was followed by an even softer tapping on the bathroom door. "Is everything okay?"
The scalpel made a soft clattering noise as it fell against the stark white tile, splattering drops of blood across Meredith's cotton covered crotch. "I'm fine Izzie. Just give me a minute, okay?" She had forgotten about inviting Izzie to walk to dinner with her. From the moment she had introduced herself to the frizzy haired girl from New Jersey two days ago she had felt a kinship. No doubt sweet innocent Izzie would be horrified to learn how her new friend got her kicks.
"Okay. I invited a few other girls to walk over with us. I hope that was okay." The door jiggled a bit after a small bump. Izzie no doubt leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door. "It's just that girl from our history class, Addison Montgomery, and this other girl who just arrived. I think she said her name was Cristina. She has the neatest sounding accent."
Using a dark blue towel, Meredith wipes the blood from the floor. She frowns before rubbing the nubby cotton over the fresh incisions. Her breath catches in her throat, tears burn her eyes. She had never had to wipe the blood from fresh wounds. Usually she ran a shower, let the water running down wipe away all evidence of her self inflicted pain. She should have known better than to give into the urge with Izzie coming by. The phone call from her mother had pushed her to the point of breaking. Ordinary, spineless Meredith who couldn't even commit suicide and dyed her hair silly colors. Stupid Meredith who was never going to amount to anything. Why couldn't Ellis just call to ask how she was? Why did every phone call have to turn into a belittle Meredith opportunity?
She tugs her ankle length black skirt down over her legs before gripping the edge of the sink. Using the cold, porcelain basin for leverage, she pulls herself to her feet. She stands before the mirror for a moment, tucking a lock of pale pink and dark blonde hair behind her ear. The thick ring of eyeliner around her sad green eyes was smudged and running down her cheeks. If it wouldn't have scared or worried Izzie she would have left it. Instead, she uses the towel to wipe the mess away, leaving her with the look of two black eyes. There was no help for that.
Forcing a smile, she twist the door knob open and gives Izzie a small shove. The taller girl stumbles forward a bit, letting a startled yelp out. "Ready?"
"What took you so long? You look kind of pale." Izzie followed behind her like a puppy, if puppies were reed thin, 5 foot ten, with frizzy blonde hair and a flat chest. "Are you feeling okay? You're not getting sick are you?"
Meredith shook her head, shivering slightly. She could feel blood trickling down her legs. There had been no time to put something on the cuts. "I'm fine. Honest. So, where are we suppose to meet Addison and the girl with the neat sounding accent?"
"Out front. They both had study hall with Ms. Bailey. I don't have her this year, but I hear she's a real Nazi." Izzie wrinkles her freckled nose and bounces down the staircase, her thick ponytail flying in every direction.
"I have her for Economics." Meredith pauses for a moment two steps up from the honey colored wood floor of the foyer. A few feet away the Newport Barbie and her clones stood whispering. Winking in their direction, she jumps from where she is at, smirking when her thick heeled Mary Jane's make a thunking noise on the floor. The whispers picked up speed. No doubt they were discussing how horrific it was having Income Challenged Izzie and Meredith the Freak living under the same roof as them. Well fuck them. Stupid bitches. "One of these days they're going to be walking, it's going to start raining, and they're going to drown." Izzie stares at her for a moment, then giggles. "What? It's true. They walk around with their nose so stuck in the air it's only a matter of time."
"One can only hope." Izzie loops her skinny arm through Meredith's. They skip down the four cement steps that led up to Robbins House, laughing when they trip over a crack in the side walk.
From her spot beneath a large oak tree dripping in moss, Addison asked if they had been walking long. Meredith replied back with a flippant 'no' before holding out a hand to the sullen faced Korean girl leaned against the trunk of the tree. "I'm Meredith."
"Cristina." The name flowed from the girl's tongue in an accent that would have been musical if not for the cold nature of the tone. Glossy black hair was twisted into two large knots at the base of her neck and held in place with chopsticks the same shade of navy blue as the corset she wore over a long sleeved white blouse. There was no mistaking the designer cut of her dark washed denims or the fact that she wore pointy toed Jimmy Choo's. No doubt it ate Newport Barbie and friends that the girl wanted nothing to do with them, which was made evident when she flipped them the bird as they walked past. "Someone should tell Barbie that her dress is so last season."
"You do that," Addison mused. A year older she had a tendency to lord over the others. It wasn't an act of dictatorship or superiority, it was just her way. Meredith had figured Addison out after ten minutes. The red haired girl liked to be in control; she was quiet about it, didn't throw a fit when she wasn't, and was willing to alter the course when someone else presented a better idea. "Erica Hahn thinks she is God's gift to everyone. Her family is on the verge of bankruptcy though. I overhead my father discussing it with my mother. Apparently ole Lucian isn't as adept with money as he is with a scalpel. That, and he likes a little nose candy."
Addison was a fountain of information on the walk over to the dining hall, divulging information that could easily get her father disbarred. Except he was Harrison Forbes-Montgomery of Montgomery, Crane, Poole, and Schmidt; he was untouchable the way Ellis was untouchable. The man was no doubt clueless to the fact that his invisible daughter told his clients secrets; just as Ellis was clueless to why her size ten scalpel was missing. Addison bled the pain away with words, Meredith with each cut of her delicate flesh.