-1Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story. I won't with-hold updates but it would be nice to know what everyone is thinking. Good or Bad. Thanks. Danielle
Solemn faces were never good, and faces didn't come anymore solemn than the pixie shaped one framed by limp blonde hair and dominated by over sized green eyes. The eyes had always held the knowledge of knowing to much, now they were dulled by a twisted pain that couldn't be put into words. There was a desperation in them as well, one that begged him to make everything okay.
Frowning slightly, Derek looks away from Meredith's tortured face. His confused azure gaze settles on Alex, who was perched atop the six drawer chest on the opposite side of the room. He hadn't been overly surprised when Alex called, asking him to meet him in his room, they were friends after all, and it was a rather dull Saturday morning. The surprise had come when walked into the room, finding two very damp girls huddled together on Alex's bed. There was a look of fear etched across Izzie's, and Meredith's was warped into a twisted mask of pain. "Is someone going to explain to me what's going on?"
Meredith's chin drops, her hair falling like a curtain over her fragile face. "It's my fault," she whispered, her voice thick with tears.
"It's not your fault!" Izzie cried, the desperation in her tone deepening Derek's frown. What the hell was going on here? In the time he had known Alex he had never seen him take as big of a risk as he was now by having two females in his room during non-visiting hours. Nor had he ever seen Izzie or Meredith looking as they did now.
"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Derek demanded, leaning back against the door. He barely notices the door knob cutting into his back hip. Both Alex and Izzie look towards Meredith, who looked smaller than normal in an over sized blue t shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants that looked ready to slide off at any moment.
"I should tell him. It should be me. After all, this whole mess is my fault," Meredith let out a strangled, bitter laugh.
"Mere," Izzie started, then pressed her lips together. She nodded, her dark blonde hair swinging around her face. Sliding from the bed, she gripped the waist of the dark blue pajama pants she wore. Her upper body was engulfed in a light gray long sleeved Henley he had seen Alex wear a few times. Come to think of it, he had seen Alex in the clothing Meredith wore as well. "Will you be okay?" Izzie looks back at Meredith, concern paling her face. Meredith nods, reaching up to wrap Izzie in what looked to be a rather suffocating hug. Words were whispered, and a few tears trickled down both girls cheeks.
"We're just going to…you know…" Alex slide off the dresser, then walks towards the window. After a few glances out, he raises the pane. He glances at Derek. "You know my cell number." Derek nods, his face still wrinkled in a frown. He watches Alex help Izzie out the window before swinging over the ledge himself.
"Meredith," Derek pushed away from the door, moving to sit on the edge of the unmade bed. Meredith had scooted to the far corner, huddled up, her fingers clutching the dark primary colored comforter. It was then he noticed the dark circles under her eyes, as well as the bruising around her wrists. "Mere?"
"I should have stayed. I should have stayed at the dance," she said after a pregnant pause. "It was a nice dance. You made it a nice dance. And I should have stayed." She looks over at him, emerald eyes colliding with azure ones. "I went to a party. With Cristina. A frat party. The University of Boston. I think. I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?" Another bitter laugh passes her lips. "There was this guy…he seemed nice. He smiled a lot and laughed at my stupid chicken joke…you know the one…and he made me feel like I mattered." Her voice cracks a bit as she bats her lashes to keep the tears at bay. "My drink tasted fine. I didn't even drink all that much. I don't think. I don't know…the night is all so jumbled up…and…I don't remember much. Just waking naked. In this strange room." The adams apple in Derek's throat worked up and down. It wasn't as bad as she was saying. It couldn't be. He was just thinking the worse. "I couldn't see straight. The whole room seemed to be tilting on end. I tried to call you first…but you didn't pick up. So I called Izzie. You know the worse part of it all? They were in the bed. The two guys. One was the guy I was talking to, and the other I had never seen before. I didn't tell Izzie that there was more than one…she was…I couldn't tell her. It was hard enough telling her…I couldn't…" The words gave way to sobs. "I don't know…I don't remember…"
Fighting the urge to cry himself, Derek pulled her across the bed and into his arms. Holding her close to his chest, he lets her sob. He closes his eyes, burying his face in her soft hair. He should have asked her not to leave. He should have told her before how special he thought she was. He should have…Oh God there were so many should have's, all of them pointing to one thing: he had failed her.