THIRD SONG: Incubus – 11 am

Warning: cigarettes.

07.00 am

Lavi looked at his digital clock and groaned. He streched. He blinked a few times. But he did not get out of bed.

07.01 am

"I shoul' weally get upp."

Slurred mumbling. Still no movement. Still no will to move his quite comfortably placed body.

Dire times like these needed dire measures, he decided. He took his time to think. After a moment he spoke to himself, his voice as stern as he could possibly make it this early in the morning.

"Lavi! If you havn't hauled your ass into the kitchen for breakfast in FIVE minutes, you can't have any smokes today."

And after he had thought it over for a while, he decided the cigarettes were the best option, by far. So he streched again, rose, and plodded to the bathroom mumbling: "make that ten..."

:x:

Monday. First day of the week. He should be saying "HELLOOOOO NEW DAAAAY!!", but he was simply too pooped. The toast tasted like crap, the electric kettle didn't work – as usual – so no coffee for Lavi. He was using all his force on keeping his eyes open. By the time he was done with breakfast, it was 07.20.

Lavi decided to screw school for once. It wasn't like he had problems with any subjects either. He was quite smart, in fact. And since he started college, he found that he really missed his old pals from high school. English class just wasn't the same when the Beansprout wasn't there with his stupid, funny accent. Geography bored him, because Lenalee wasn't throwing small paper notes at him, telling him that the teacher looked like an idiot with his hitler moustache. And science sucked when there was no Johnny to blow up stuff.

Lavi missed Daisya's running with a football through the corridors. He'd always broken some window, and principle Link was always in his his heels, yelling about running in the halls being prohibited. And he missed the laughter when clumsy Miranda - unintentionally but effectively - hurled the ball into teacher Mari's face in PE.

Most of all he missed math. Not that he enjoyed calculation in partiqular, mind you. No, what made math so funny, and worth looking forward to every Monday, Thursday, and Friday, was the guy that he always ended up working together with. The one man in the world that could drive a car, but not sqare a decimal number for his life.

Yuu Kanda.

Lavi actually laughed out just recalling the guy's grumpy face. Man, if there was something he missed, it was Yuu failing miserably, and then trying to regain his honor by yelling at the teacher. Lavi had learned many creative profanities in math class.

Yeah, if there was someone Lavi missed, it was Kanda...

And then Lavi spent the next few hours sitting in his windowsill, enjoying a cigarette, a crappy toast, and memories of high school.

:x:

11.00 am.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...

Dear god, would SOMEONE take away the bloody beeping? Lavi jerked his head up from it's slumber-position on his shoulder, which resulted in a loud snap from his neck.

"Fuck life," he grumbled, and looked over at the kitchen desk, from where the sound was emerging. His mobile was beeping with such vigour it almost fell of the table. "Huh... An sms? Somebody actually wants to contact me on this gods forsaken day?" The beeping stopped, and Lavi sat still. Who could it be? He was actually too tired to be social right now.

He wanted to not care, and just be able to ignore it, but what if it was something important? Nah, second thought, it was probably just one of his new class mates wondering why he wasn't in school. He should ignore it. He should. But what if... it was Yuu?

And then Lavi nodded, as if Kanda the Social sending someone an sms was the most ordinary.

"Of course Yuu-chan couldn't live without me for more than three weeks," Lavi said, totally reasonibly, not in denial in any way. So he went and took his phone, trying not to get his hopes too high.

Which was why he almost shrieked and fell on his butt when he saw the ID.

And Lavi felt something akin to nervous angst mixed with excited joy. Relaxing? No. Interesting? Yes. Lavi opened the message.

"rabbit"

... How cute.

Lavi walked back to the window. He opened it, sticked his head out and yelled:

"HEEELLOOOOO NEEW DAAAAAY!!!"

The mailman looked at him with terrified eyes. And Lavi wrote back.

"Yuu-chan!" just to poke his anger.

And Lavi was slightly surprised when the reply came only 13 seconds and a half millisecond later. Since when was Yuu so fast at texting?

"stop calling me that."

In your face, grumpy. But Lavi was flatterede that the Kanda had taken his precious time to tell him that he was a rabbit. Truly flattered. Lavi also knew that Yuu was damn prideful (see: stubborn), and the straight-hair-cut-man would have a hard time doing the talking – well writing actually – to keep the conversation going. So Lavi, the saint, blessed him with the answer:

"No way in hell, Yuu-chan"

And after that followed a very professional and academic communication.

"fucktard"

"*sob* :'("

"stop the smileys. I dont get them"

"clever as always"

"stupid rodent. Why am spending time on this"

"quick, Yuu-chan. You wrote to me 3 min ago"

"dont infect me with your idiocy"

"hey now, dont hold me responsible for that. So where are you?"

Such a thing as an invitation had to be pryed out of Yuu. He'd never ask willingly.

"wal-mart"

The supermarket? "thats not far from here. Whaddya buying?"

And after a while.

"cornflakes and salt. And theres a creepy woman"

Lavi had half a mind to feel slightly unnerved that a mere mortal could make Kanda nervous. "creepy how?" he wrote back.

"creepy stalking me"

And Lavi wrote the only noble thing he could think of: "should i come save u?"

And when a whole minute had passed with no barking retort, Lavi began fearing that maybe creepy stalker woman had gotten a hold of Yuu-chan. But then his phone beeped once again.

"shit were do thes guys keep ther fucking cornflakess"

Right next to the check-out desk, Kanda. Like, right next to it. Lavi ran to his bedroom, fetched his wallet and converse, and was out the door in less than 30 seconds.

"im on my way, cuz i need sum smokes. Wait up."

"bring a fucking flamethrower. I think the woman wants to eat me."

Lavi almost skipped. "see u in 10"

And then he almost ran. Make that five.

Authors Rant:

And thus, Knight Lavi went to Wal-Mart to save Princess Social.

So, i wus like training yesterday, right? Right. And i hit my head a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Aaaand, somehow i think it's caused brain damage. Mayor fail. Thought i'd let u know.

Anywho, somethin joyful for once, hm? And the longest one yet. Critique always appreciated.

D. Gray-man (C) Hoshino Katsura. But ya prolly knew already.

November 20, 2009