Author's Note: Oh my gosh! I've had chapters 4, 5, and part of 6 written for MONTHS. I'm so sorry that I completely abandoned the people who were wanting to read on further into this story... I never felt like proof-reading it, so I just left it in a word document and forgot about it... I'm so bored tonight / this morning, at 4:00 am that I decided I might as well publish what I have... I'm about to proof-read Chapter 4 as I write this author's note. If I feel inclined, I'll proof-read chapter 5 and post it soon as well. If not tonight, I'll probably post it within the next couple days, just because it's already written, so I might as well...

If proof-reading and editing chapters 4 and 5 inspire me and regain my interest in the story, I'll finish chapter 6, write some more chapters, and maybe even finish the whole story! (don't get your hopes up though... as my pen name implies, I'm mildly insane, and never stand by my promises, I guess that doesn't necessarily mean I'm mildly insane; it just means I'm mildly a jerk, huh?)

So to the 8 people in the world who read Shrek fanfiction, (and to the 2 or 3 people who might read this particular Shrek fanfiction) here you go:

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Chapter 4

Arthur, Shrek, Puss, and Donkey(who had followed Shrek just out of fear of being alone on the island) now sat in a sort of cage below deck of the pirate's ship. The pirate, a well known villain, was Captain Hook. Shrek had heard of him before, but Arthur hadn't. There were three cages. Two of them next to each other, one occupied by Shrek and the other by Arthur and another cage across from the other two, shared by Puss in Boots and Donkey. Donkey was laying down, asleep, while Puss was sharpening his claws.

"I hate my luck," Arthur complained, folding his arms across his chest and pouting.

Shrek looked over at the boy who was leaning miserably against the wall. Shrek almost felt bad. It was kind of his fault for bringing him here. If he had taken responsibility for being king, Arthur would be safe at his school right now. Shrek had seen that some of the students bullied Arthur, but he wasn't aware all of the students had done so, nor was he aware of how severe their treatment towards Arthur could be.

"I'm sorry for forcing you to come with us," Shrek said, not making eye contact. He never liked apologizing.

Arthur shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I thought it would be better than staying at school... It's my fault too."

"No... It isn't really," Shrek argued, "I didn't know Charming was going to do this... but I should have seen it coming... I should have known."

Arthur looked at Shrek, "Like I said... It doesn't matter. I'm screwed either way."

"What do you mean?" Shrek asked, "you find being a prisoner has the same appeal of having to do homework?"

"What? No... I hardly ever do homework. Usually someone steals it before I have the chance, so I stopped even trying. I'm failing almost everything," Arthur informed him.

"Heh heh... You'd make a great king then," Shrek joked, "What's so bad about your school then?" he asked, "besides the homework thieves, I mean..."

Arthur looked down at his hands, which were in his lap. He sighed, "If you didn't notice... I'm not the most popular guy at school," he said.

"Oh... well, neither was I... If you can believe it," Shrek told him.

Arthur looked up at him, "But I'm sure no one picked on you... You're like... seven feet tall... Everyone hates me. I even tried to be nice to them, but they all hate me... Even the biggest losers at the school hate me. I can't make friends with anyone! Even the new kids who don't even know me... they all turn against me eventually."

"Well," Shrek began, misunderstanding the magnitude of the bullying Arthur received, "it's just high school... people say mean things sometimes, but it won't matter in the long run. I know it can feel hurtful, but you just have to ignore it sometimes. Being a teenager is tough. You guys are all pretty moody and mean to each other... but you'll grow out of it. They will, I mean. The kids in your class, when they are all grown up, they'll see that the mean things they said to you were immature. High school is only temporary."

"I don't think you get it!" Arthur responded, "They are really mean... Did you see what they did to me right when you got to the school? I was their jousting target..."

"Well, why did you let them do that to you?" Shrek asked.

"Because..." Arthur began, looking down at his hands again, "because... Lancelot said he was going to break my arms if I didn't."

Shrek looked at Arthur, "Would he really do that though? I mean, weren't there teachers around?"

"He's broken my arm before... The teachers just make fun of me when I go to them for help," Arthur told him, "... I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said, turning away from Shrek and leaning his forehead against the bars of the cage.

Shrek and Puss in Boots looked at each other. From the other cage, Puss had been listening to them. Both he and Shrek now looked uneasy. Neither knew what to say.

"Well," Shrek began, "... if this counts for anything... at least you're not there anymore, right?" he laughed nervously, a forced laugh.

Arthur turned to look at him, "What are they going to do to us?" he asked, now seeming much more serious than Shrek expected. When he had first encountered the boy, he seemed immature and much like many teenagers. Shrek had guessed he was one of the younger students at the school, which would explain his level of stubbornness and immaturity, but it was beginning to seem he wasn't so immature after all, and likely only stubborn because he was tired of always being pushed around.

"I don't know what he's planning, Arthur," Shrek told him, "but I'm going to do everything in my power to see that Charming fails at whatever he has planned."

Arthur smiled at Shrek. He suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore, "I'll do what I can too," he offered, knowing he couldn't offer much in the way of strength, but also aware of how witty he could be when the occasion called for it, "and if it's my duty to be king, I'll do just that."

Shrek smiled back at him, but still felt somewhat bad, since it was really not Arthur's responsibility at all, but his own. He nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh... and you can just call me Artie," the boy told him, "everyone else does."

"Alright," Shrek agreed, "...Artie."

"So... do you have a plan on how we can break out of here, señors?" Puss in Boots asked.

Arthur looked at Shrek.

Shrek shrugged his shoulders and then looked back at Puss, "you're a cat... Cats are good at escaping things... why don't you think of a plan?" Shrek suggested.

"Claro que si, señor," Puss responded, "Of course I could... but I would only be able to find a way for myself to escape. You see, we felines are so good at eluding partially due to our curious size. I would be able to squeeze myself out easily, but would not want to leave you down here to some horrible fate."

Arthur looked at the cat, "Why don't you break yourself out then, and look for the keys to our cells throughout the ship, and bring them back down here?" he suggested.

"Perhaps that would work," Puss agreed, "I shall do so, immediately." The cat found a point in the bars where they were a bit further apart than normal, and with a bit of maneuvering, managed to squeeze himself through, "Adios, señors. We shall meet again quickly," he said, tipping his hat and then quietly running up the stairs.

"Be careful though," Arthur added just before the cat would out of ear-shot, "don't get yourself caught... I wouldn't want them to punish you for trying to help us... Just be careful."

Shrek looked at Arthur again. He was very considerate. Perhaps he would make a good king after all, despite the fact his first impression of the boy made him certain he was weak and childish. Being concerned for the well being of others was a trait all good kings should possess, a trait which most actual kings rarely possessed.

"What?" Arthur asked, noticing Shrek looking at him.

"Oh... nothing," Shrek responded, "I was just thinking... I think you'll make a great king."

Though Shrek was being honest, his honesty was uncharacteristically nice, and Arthur took it to mean the ogre was making fun of him. He frowned, "I may not be perfect, but at least I'll be fair," he said, looking upset, "I won't bully people... or-"

"Artie!" Shrek interrupted, "I was being serious... I think you are a very caring person. And you aren't narcissistic, which is rare among teenagers, and even rarer among kings... It will be a pleasant change."

Arthur didn't look quite convinced, but decided to leave the conversation alone. People rarely paid him genuine compliments, but perhaps the ogre was one of the few who meant what he said.

"So... why did they send you to find me?" Arthur asked, changing the subject of conversation.

"Well..." Shrek began, trying to think up a nice lie, "I'm a friend of Fiona," he said, "She's your cousin, right?"

Arthur shrugged, "I don't know... Family isn't a big part of my life."

"Ah... well, she's the king's daughter, and he died. She doesn't have any siblings, so you're the closest heir. She didn't want to go find you so soon after her father's death, so I came in her stead," Shrek told him.

Arthur nodded, "oh," he responded simply.

"What about you?" Shrek asked, trying to keep the conversation going so they wouldn't be sitting in awkward silence, "how did you end up at Worcestershire?"

Arthur frowned, "my dad sent me there," he said, "...he was tired of having me around, so when I was twelve, he sent me away."

"Twelve?" Shrek asked, "and he sent you to a high school?"

Arthur nodded, "yeah... he bribed the administrators into letting me in early... He just wanted to get rid of me..."

Shrek nodded. He knew how it felt to have a father who didn't really care much about him, "So... how old are you now?" Shrek asked. He thought the boy looked somewhat young, compared to the other students, but figured maybe he was just naturally a small person.

"I'm fourteen now," Arthur told him.

Shrek nodded again.

"That's why everyone picks on me so much. When I first got there, I was younger than everyone else," Arthur told him.

"Yeah... high school kids can be pretty cruel... They love singling people out like that..." Shrek noted.

"I've noticed," Arthur agreed.

Arthur and Shrek both looked up when they heard someone coming down the stairs of the ship. The footsteps were far too loud to be that of Puss in Boots, so they knew it was likely Captain Hook. They hoped he hadn't found Puss and wouldn't notice he was no longer in the cage.

No such luck. The pirate held the cat by the back of the neck, "Did ye think ye'd just send the cat, then, hm? Sendin' a wee little feline ta do yer dirty work then? Aye, a pirate'd naught be tricked by ye so easily," the pirate began, "Aye, I'd be thinkin' ye did! An' figure ye'd get away by means of tha cat stealin' me brass an' escapin' ye? Ya lot a' blunderin' scalewags, ye be!"

Arthur and Shrek both looked at each other, with confusion evident in their facial expressions.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"I say," the pirate began again, "ye aren't gonna be gettin' away with stealin' of me brass an' escapin' just as easy as a stale bottle be thrown o're-board, young lad!"

Arthur shook his head, "I don't know what you're saying," he informed Hook, "Half of what you said doesn't make sense... and the other half isn't even real words..."

"Arrr," Hook growled, "Ye be tauntin' me an' me language?"

Arthur nodded, "I guess so..." he said.

"Aye... an' ye be thinkin' yer quite funny, hm? Pokin' fun at me?" the captain continued, "maybe ye won't find it so funny when yer out here doin' some real work then? Maybe I outta put ye out here ta man tha ship them, hm? Ye mightn't be worried yerself so much about what words ye don't an' do use if ye have ta be doin' work."

The pirate took a key out of his pocket, unlocked the lock on the cell which Arthur occupied, and opened the door. He grabbed Arthur's arm pulling him out of the cage. Shrek couldn't help but feel concerned, but when Arthur turned and gestured a quick wink in his direction, the ogre knew the boy had some sort of plan. He just hoped whatever his plan was would work.

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doo-dee-dooooo...

This is a pretty awesome story. (that was a review from me, to myself.)