Dear readers,
A year… It's been a little less than a year since I've updated. That year has proven to be quite interesting. I'm going to bore you with personal problems for a bit. February met a man, fell in love quite hard, quite quickly, and moved in after two short months. Unfortunately some bits of news are the secret-that-was-best-kept-hidden. Now comes the sad part, dear readers (few though they may be), my story, my first chapter in particular, is literally that. My story. It was believable because it's what I went through. I wrote it down without the goriness, and just enough for people to realize that this happens and that this is NOT okay. This is what I was still going through until March 2010. I should probably edit that, it's wasn't my story after her looking at the book. No one found out, not while it was still going on. Like I said, met the guy… he met my parents… said I love you. Logical progression on speed. I moved in and hated the fact that I'd kept this secret from him. I'd told him that I'd been abused, but never by whom. Eventually he asked, and tired, so tired, of the little lies, I told him. He reacted better than I would've imagined. (By that I mean he allowed me to circumvent him when he was murderous) I told my mother in June. She reacted well at face value, but I can tell you as a person who'd valued familial bonds above anything else, I am utterly alone. She's still with him, and everything is fine. The guy I loved realized eventually every lie I'd told him and it quickly undermined our entire relationship. He's still a friend, which is more than I can hope for, but… Unrequited loves a bitch. Anyway, moving out, trying to get set up on my own, trying to keep myself out of the dissociative pit after everything was taking most of my time and effort. I apologize I couldn't write, I couldn't think. I even stopped responding to my beta, which is my next letter; hopefully she'll forgive me, even if she isn't able to beta anymore. I'm writing this longwinded explanation to say I haven't stopped writing, and even though the writing got more fantastical as I got more frantic, I'm going to continue on and hopefully level it out. The next chapter is halfway through the outlined plot, so that should be up soon, unbeta'd.
Now a word to the wise… I'm twenty now… It'd been going on since I was twelve, with my step father. My mom saw it, my mom asked me about it, but she'd asked him first… and he told me to lie. If you suspect something ask the CHILD as soon as it enters your mind. As delicately as you want, adopt slytherin tactics even. I have a long road ahead of me trying to cope with what's been done to me, and I was fortunate enough to not have the responsibility of a life created out of this, but some aren't as fortunate as I was. I still suffer from a lot of the effects from childhood abuse, who would you condemn to this? I beg you to check out RAINN or another rape crisis organization. I told two of my friends when I was 16. Because of my protests it never came out then, I believed my mom would hate me and blame me and damn if I wasn't right. It took a stranger, a man I'd known for 6 months at max to coerce me into admitting this. If anyone knows someone who this is happening to try and coerce them to get out, and if you need a bit more help, I'm an e-mail away. I think that's it for now…
Lauren