-1December 24
It was an average home, two and a half stories of rambling light blue siding and sparkling windows framed by white shutters. A metal framed snowman wrapped in twinkling blue lights and a set of plastic reindeer grazing decorated one side of the large front lawn. It wasn't nearly as nice as, or as large, as her mother's house but it looked more like a home.
Meredith tightened her fingers around the steering wheel of her mother's Lexus. She stared up at the Shepherd's house, knowing she should get out of the car and knock on the door. Logically she knew they were expecting her, Derek had even had his mother call to reassure her it wouldn't be intruding, yet it felt like that was exactly what she was doing, intruding on their Christmas Eve. She had known she would eventually meet Derek's family, it was all they had talked about the last five days. To meet them on a day that was usually reserved just for family though, it added to the pressure. He had four sisters she had to impress in addition to normal parents.
"Hey." The slightly pudgy face of a girl barely into her teens pressed against the window of the car. Meredith lets out a small shriek. "Are you Derek's friend?"
Meredith nodded. She really needed to get out of the car. Forcing her fingers to loosen their hold on the steering wheel she plastered a fake smile on her face. She took a deep breath then opened the car door, barely missing hitting the girl standing outside it. "I'm Meredith." She held her hand out. The girl stared at her, her dark brows quirked up, her face wrinkled. Meredith let her hand drop, her face flushing almost the same color of red as the cashmere sweater she wore under her black wool coat.
"Hillary?" A medium height woman with Derek's dark hair stood on the front porch, her arms crossed against the cold. "Oh. Hello. You must be Meredith." Mrs. Shepherd smiled at her.
"Uh, yes. I'm Meredith. That's me. Meredith." She sounded like a rambling idiot. Her face blushed hotter. Behind her she can hear Hillary snort. If Derek's other sisters were anything like the urchin behind her she was in for a long, cold day. "I'm really sorry about intruding."
"Then why did you?" Hillary muttered as she passed. She tugged the blue beret that had been perched on her head off, tossing it onto the antique side table that was just inside the door. Her navy blue parka followed suit.
"Closet. And mind your manners," Mrs. Shepherd chided. Her hands settled on Meredith's shoulders, helping her shrug out of her jacket. "And it isn't an intrusion at all."
"Mere!" Derek bound down the stairs, a wide grin on his face. He slung his arms around her, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. "I was starting to worry."
"Traffic was kind of…you know…busy." Meredith untangled herself, smoothing her sweater down. She fidgeted with her knee length denim pencil skirt, her fingers needing something to do. "Plus I had to drop my mom off at the hospital."
"Oh goodness, I hope she is alright," Mrs. Shepherd fretted, her face wrinkled in concern.
Meredith couldn't help smiling, this time in earnest. "My mother is a surgeon," she said proudly. The last four days with Ellis had been civil, almost as though they had a normal relationship. They had spent the first afternoon shopping for a new wardrobe, and while she knew it was just her mother's way of insuring she dressed appropriately back in Boston, it had been nice. The next day her mother had invited her to the hospital, even arranged for her to sit in the gallery during a surgery. It had been pure ecstasy, watching her mother take a man who was on the brink of death and giving him a new lease on life. Tomorrow they had a quiet dinner at home planned. Ellis wasn't a cook but she had made arrangements for dinner to be delivered.
"Really? What sort?" A waspish voice caused her to turn. A female version of Derek stood with her arms crossed. She knew without asking or being told that this was Nancy, the sister that was two years older than Derek. She was also the sister Derek had warned her about.
"She has a specialty in neurology." Meredith said in quiet voice. She could feel herself folding in. "Yesterday I was able to watch her-"
"Isn't it illegal to let people watch surgeries? Does your mother make a practice of breaking the law?" Nancy cut in.
"She…she works at a learning hospital. People watch surgeries there all the time." Meredith started to explain. Again Nancy cut her off with a snide remark how invasive that must be for the patients, having an audience on them while they try to get better. "It isn't like that at all. Everyone knows Seattle Grace is a learning hospital. They know how it is before they even come."
"I didn't know Seattle Grace was a learning hospital. Did you Ma?" Nancy stared at her mother, arms still crossed over her almost non-existent chest.
"I haven't heard much of anything about Seattle Grace," Mrs. Shepherd admitted. She shot Meredith a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure your mother is a wonderful doctor."
"Surgeon, Ma. Doctors are just people. Surgeons are Gods. Right Meredith?" Nancy challenged. Meredith didn't know how to answer. The truth was Nancy was right. Many surgeons did see themselves as Gods. She said nothing. "I bet their kids think that way too. Think they are above everyone else. Can't hack it in a regular school so mommy pays for them to go to another one. Drink a bit to much, have a threesome, and then cries rape. Yeah. That about sums up how above normal people surgeons kids are."
The blood drained from Meredith's face. She stumbled around, not bothering to grab her jacket as she darted out the front door. Tears burned down her cheeks as she hurried towards her mother's car. How could he? How could he share her most personal secrets with his sister? And how could he twist them around that way?
"Mer!"
She paused when she heard him call her name. Balling her small hands into fists, she spun around. "What?" She demanded through clenched teeth. "Want me to share some more things with you so you can tell them to your bitch of sister?"
"You can't let her get to you like that," Derek said firmly. He held her jacket in his hands. He held it out to her. She yanked it away. "And you have to admit, there is some truth.."
"Are you fucking kidding me! Yeah, my mom paid to get me into Milton. Big fucking deal. I still had to pass the tests. It isn't my fault you're some scholarship kid. And, I was fucking drugged! Drugged, Derek. I didn't have a threesome. I was raped!" She fumbled for the keys, almost dropping them in her rush to unlock the sleek black car. She tossed her jacket onto the passenger seat before sliding into the driver's seat. "I can't believe I was ever your friend, let alone thought we could be more!" She slammed the door, sobbing. Merry Freaking Christmas to her. She had known things were too good to be true.
In the furthest corner of the living, to the left of the electric fireplace, an over decorated Christmas tree seemed to mock her. Izzie had never paid close attention to how haphazard her family's tree was, but then she had never dated a boy with a trust fund that made her father's yearly income look like pocket change. Chewing her lip, she scanned the rest of the room. Comfortable looking furniture in a muted shade of sage green, average looking carpet in a darker shade of green, and silly family photographs everywhere. It wasn't bad, a bit too much green, it just wasn't great either.
"Mom says to tell you that you need to come help in the kitchen and stop mooning about when that boy is showing up." Hannah teased from behind her. Izzie whirled around, the end of her ponytail slapping her across the face. She stuck her tongue out, not caring when Hannah let out a whiny threat to tell as she ran off in the direction from which she had came. Big deal. Let the little brat tell. It wasn't like she had shoved or hit her.
"That was real mature." The amused voice of her older sister brought the smile back to her face. At twenty-two, almost twenty-three, Callie spent most of her time at college at NYU. She rarely came home, only when she felt the pressure from her mother and step-father. Most holidays she flew out to California to visit her ailing paternal grandmother. Her biological father had hit the road when his sixteen year old girlfriend was pregnant, never to be seen again. "So, I hear your boyfriend is coming for dinner."
Izzie nodded, her face hurting from all the smiling she had done. With Callie here their mother would let up a bit. Karen Stevens always seemed to be more sedate when faced with the living reminder that she had not always been the picture of goodness she tried to present now. Callie's presence was also a reminder to Izzie of why her mother wouldn't let up on her when it came to going anywhere with Alex. "Yeah. He's coming for lunch, then he has to get back to his aunt's for dinner. His family invited me up, but you know how mom is." She couldn't resist rolling her eyes.
"Yeah. I know. Which is why I figured you could use a break." Callie slung an arm around her. "You, my silly little sister, get to spend the rest of your break with me."
"Seriously?" Izzie stared at her sister in a semi-shocked state. Their mother had never let her go see Callie for more than a weekend at a time. Then again, Izzie had never made life as miserable as she had been making it. Karen had only agreed to have Alex for dinner as an attempt to bribe her daughter into being less surly.
"Yeah. We're leaving right after your boyfriend does." Callie leaned her head closer, dropping her voice. "And I am going to be gone for the weekend with my latest boy toy, so if you wanted to hang with your boyfriend until Monday I won't say one word."
Mouth dropping open, Izzie fought back the urge to squeal. "Do you think we could talk? You know, just you and me?" Her hearted pounded when Callie nodded.
"Mom, Izzie's going with me to get the whipped cream," Callie yelled. Izzie hurried into her jacket, wincing when she caught the skin of her thumb in the zipper. Callie placed a hand in the middle of her back, propelling her out the door at a quicker pace than she would have gone. "Let me guess, this is about sex right?"
"How did you know?" Izzie could feel her face burning. She hadn't made up her mind if she was ready for sex or not, but she thought it better to know what she needed to do to be safe just in case. Their last night together things had gotten a little hot and heavy. They had progressed past the cop a feel stage to the oral sex, hand jobs, and 'almost sex' with their clothes still on. She had been so close to telling him she was ready, but had decided against it. Who wanted to lose their virginity in the back of an SUV parked on a side road? Not her.
"Because there is only two things we can't talk to mom about. Aunt Robert and sex." Callie laughed, looking over her shoulder as she backed her bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle out of the driveway. "Alright, what do you want to know?"
Izzie blinked. "Um, does it hurt? I mean, I know it's going to hurt a little the first time, but on a scale of one to ten, one being not at all and ten wanting to curl up and die, what would you rate the pain?"
"I don't know. I think it is different for everyone. Me, I would have to say my pain level was about a four at first and one by the end of it. Look, Iz, it's going to hurt, there is no way around that. If you're scared of a little pain then you, my dear, are not ready." Callie glanced over at her. "Not to mention you're-"
"Don't say I'm too young," Izzie warned. She was so tired of hearing that. She was too young. Her mom said it often enough. She didn't want to hear it from her sister as well.
"I wasn't going to. I was going to say you're going to have to look into birth control. Give me some credit, Izzie." Callie snapped. She swung the car into an empty parking spot outside a convenient store that offered a small grocery section. "I'm going to assume we're having this discussion because you are seriously thinking about having sex."
Nodding, Izzie chewed her lips, following Callie into the small store. She hadn't thought this conversation would be as embarrassing with Callie. She was wrong. Her sister was asking legitimate questions and she was to scared to answer them. "I'm on the pill already. Remember how whacky my period was? Dr. Higgins put me on birth control to regulate it. And I'm pretty sure Alex has condoms."
"Good. The last thing you want is to get pregnant at sixteen." They paused outside a cooler that held an almost non-existent variety of whipped cream. "Light or regular?"
"Regular. The light tastes like Styrofoam." Izzie yanked open the cooler, grabbing the last tub of regular. "We only need one right?"
"Far as I know." Reaching into her purse, Callie pulled out her wallet. As the clerk was ringing things up she slapped a box of condoms on the counter as well. "Just in case he doesn't," Callie murmured. Izzie's eyes widen, she turned on the ball of her foot and bolted out of the store.
Derek stood there in shock, watching the shiny, black Lexus round the corner. A lock of black hair falls over his forehead. He reached up to push it back, his hand shaking. He felt like he had just lost his best friend, and he had no idea how it had happened.
"Did she run away crying?" Nancy asked, coming to stand next to him. Slowly, he turned to look at her. Her pretty was didn't look so pretty with a satisfied smirk on her face. "Honestly, Derek, you finally decide to get a girlfriend and you choose that?" She gestured in the direction Meredith had driven.
"You don't even know her!" Derek snapped. "And where did you hear about those things? I sure as hell didn't tell you." It had stunned him, having Nancy spew forth Meredith's darkest secrets. He should have said something, should have told Nancy to shut up. Instead, he had stood there, stunned, and then when he could have made things better he made them worse. He hadn't meant for Meredith to think he was talking about the rape or the way she had come to be in Milton when he said Nancy had said some things that were true. He had been talking about the hospital, Meredith being allowed to watch surgeries. He had remained quiet out of jealousy. He would have killed to sit in on surgery.
"I overheard you talking on the phone with that kid…Alex. You guys were talking about what a bitch her mom was, and how the woman had paid the school to take Meredith off her hands. That should tell you something Derek. Her own mother…" She snapped her mouth shut when he shook his head, his anger radiating from his icy blue gaze.
"You don't know anything about Meredith's mom." Derek seethed. This wasn't the sister he had grown up looking up to. He barely knew the slender woman standing next to him.
"Okay. Fine. Maybe I don't. What about her getting drunk and having a threesome huh? Nice girls don't do that." Nancy defended. She never knew when to stop.
"She went to a party Nancy and some guy put something in her drink. She didn't have a threesome, she was raped." He shouldn't be having this conversation, but Nancy had left him with no choice. She had made something that wasn't her business everyone's business. "She was just now starting to not blame herself. To realize she didn't do anything wrong. If you had eavesdropped properly you would have heard Alex and I talking about that too." He doesn't wait to see how his sister would respond to that. He headed back into the house to beg his mom for the keys to the car.
Hands shoved into the pockets of his faded blue jeans, Alex shifted around on the small cement square that served as a 'front' porch of Izzie's home. It had been at least two minutes since had rung the doorbell. He supposed he could ring it again, but he could hear his mother's voice complaining about someone ringing the bell to often at their home. He ducked his head as a gust of wind sends a small eave of snow flying from the roof. He muttered a curse under his breath as some of the small, icy white flakes made their way down the back of his neck.
The crunch of tires on ice had him glancing out of the corner of his eye. A bright yellow Volkswagen barely missed side swiping his Navigator as it slid into the drive way at an awkward angle.
"Out!" A dark haired young woman wearing a lipstick red wool trench coat scrambled out of the passenger side. "I mean it Izzie. Out. You can just deal with Mom and her mini-van."
He couldn't help but grin as a familiar tall blonde climbed out of the drivers side. "You can't do that Callie! You don't have any idea how nervous she makes me!" She hadn't straightened her hair, instead it hung in soft curls around her shoulders. She hated fixing her hair that way, but he loved it. "Plus she always brings Hannah with her. You now what a brat she is. She never shuts up!"
"Kinda like you," Callie shot back, almost slipping to the ice covered sidewalk when her pace up the walk became a bit too brisk. Her arms flung out and she balanced herself almost perfectly. Her eyes widen when she noticed him standing there. "Oh. Hello."
"Alex!" Izzie squealed. Despite the ice she bolted across the slippery yard, skidding right into his arms. He closed his eyes, holding her close. He couldn't put a name to what he felt for her, but it was big, something he had never felt before. He buried his face in her fruit scented curls, pressing a kiss to her neck. She turned her head, covering his mouth with her's.
"Break it up. Mom see's that and your going to spend the rest of vacation locked in the basement." Callie chuckled. She glanced at Alex. "By the way, when you leave, don't leave town. Make a stop at the Quick Trip."
Alex frowned, watching as the dark haired woman entered the house. "My mom is shipping me off with Callie…my sister," Izzie explained. "Only Callie doesn't want to deal with me this weekend, so she's dumping me off on you." She moved her mouth closer to his ear. "I was thinking maybe we could pick up where we left off." His body reacted instantly, adrenaline pumping through his veins and his cock growing hard. He tried to tell himself to not get too excited, she said pick up where they left off, not that they would go further. "I'm pretty sure I'm ready, buy we can stop if I'm not, right?"
His heart skidded to a halt. She was talking about going further. Fear shone in her large, dark eyes. "We don't have to." He was a bit surprised by how much he meant it. "I mean, if you're not ready or scared…"
A big smile lit up her face. "I know. I want to though." Her voice dropped. "I'm not scared of having sex. If I looked scared it is because my mom has been a bit too nice lately. She is never nice. Never. Especially about boys."
Alex nodded as though he understand. He had no clue. His parents weren't around enough for him to know when they were being too nice or not. His old nanny was another story. He could peg her emotions to a tee. "It'll be fine Iz. Mom's love me."
"Maybe the one's who care about your trust fund, yeah. My mom isn't like them." He couldn't help laughing. "I'm serious Alex. The only thing my mom cares about is being right. And right now she is determined to prove to me that you're only using me."
"How am I using you? I'm just as smart. I mean, yeah I faked the whole tutor me in math thing to get to know you but…that doesn't really count. And we're not sleeping together." The yet hung unspoken between them. "Seriously? She thinks I'm using you?"
"Mom says kitchen. Now." A young girl of eleven or so stuck her head out the front door. "Oh. Hi. You must be Alex. I'm Hannah. I guess you can go to the kitchen too."
He followed Izzie and Hannah into the modest brick home, a bit uncomfortable in the well lived in abode. His parents houses were always shrines of sorts. Displays of their wealth. This was an actual home.
They filed down a narrow hallway into a well lit kitchen his parent's chef would cringe over. He liked it though. The hand stenciled apples on the cream colored walls. The dark green cabinets with little apples for the handles. A tall, shapely woman with long dark blonde hair and sharp blue eyes stood next to the stove wearing a Garfield print apron. She stared at him for a minute, then held out her hand. "I'm Karen. Izzie's mom.
"Alex. Izzie's boyfriend." He felt like an idiot for introducing himself like that, but didn't know any other way. Her hand shake was firm, nothing like the limp squeeze his mother always gave. "Thank you for inviting me."
"You're welcome. Izzie, could you please help me out a bit here. Grandma's on her way, and you know how she is if we don't eat on time." Karen shoved a dark blue apron in Izzie's direction. "If you would mash the potatoes and then transfer them into a different bowl that would be great." Izzie rolled her eyes, snatching the apron.
Alex settled himself onto the stool Karen had offered to him and watched as all four of the females in Izzie's family set about various tasks. It had never been like this at him house. Dinner was catered in or they went out. He could get use to this. He caught Izzie's gaze and smiled. Really use to it.
Heart broken sobs echoed in the large foyer. In a corner behind the beveled glass door, Meredith sat curled in a ball, sobbing. She had trusted him, given him her heart, and how had he repaid her? He had told his family all her dark and twisty memories. Not only had he told them, he had distorted the facts.
The sound of keys jingling had her jerking her head up. A moment later a pair of black ballet flats with leopard print trim appear. "Meredith?" Ellis frowned down at her, an odd emotion in her normally cool, blue-green eyes. "What in God's name are you doing down there?" Her arms crossed over her crisp, white blouse. "Is this about that boy you wanted to go see today?"
Meredith couldn't help it. She burst into uncontrollable laughter. The laughter didn't last long, all too soon the sobs overtook her again. "Oh good Lord," Ellis sighed, adjusting her long, tailored trousers, before kneeling next to where her daughter was scrunched. "What did he do?"
Blinking, Meredith stared at her mother. It wasn't like Ellis to ask questions out of concern. She wasn't sure what to make of the situation. First Derek did the unthinkable and blabbed her secrets, and now her mother was acting like a mother. "He told his sister some things I wish he hadn't," she said tentatively.
"What sort of things?" Ellis demanded, smoothing her hands down the front of her pants. Her hands next went up to her smooth, shoulder length blonde hair. There was no reason for her to mess with the glossy locks, but still she tucked her hair behind her ears.
"Just things." Meredith lifted on shoulder, glancing at the floor. She wasn't certain if she should tell her mother what Derek's bitch of a sister had taunted her with. She certainly couldn't tell her about the rape. "He told them that you shipped me off to Milton because you didn't want me around." She peeked up at her mother, expecting some sort of backlash.
"Do you think that's why I sent you to Milton?" Ellis asked, her voice quiet. Meredith lifted her shoulder again. She did think it, she just wasn't brave enough to voice it aloud. "Well, I didn't. I sent you because you weren't happy here. Don't bother saying you were. We both know you weren't. You were wearing all black, dying your hair hideous colors, and let's not forget the suicide note. Maybe I should have taken you to a psychiatrist like your father-"
Meredith cut in, "You've talked to my dad?" She barely remembered the fair haired man with the shy grin that was her father. One day he had been there, the next he had been gone forever.
"I did, yes. It wasn't hard to find him. The bastard has been in Bremerton all these years playing house with his new wife and daughters." Bitterness edged Ellis' voice. "It wasn't easy for me, looking him up, I can tell you that. I just thought…I don't know…a girl needs their father." She sighed. "I tried to tell him what was going on, but he didn't want to hear it. Said if you were that troubled maybe you should see a psychiatrist. I know you better than him though. Talking to some shrink wasn't going to do any good. Since I seemed to be the problem, I thought getting away would help. And it has, hasn't it?"
"I suppose," Meredith admitted weakly. Getting away from her mother had helped. Not entirely, but enough. "Did my dad ask to see me?" She wasn't sure why she asked the question, in her heart she already knew the answer. Thatcher Grey had a new family and had no room in his life for her. It was a bit exciting to think she had sisters, it was also a bit heart breaking as well. She had been easily replaced.
Ellis hesitated. "Do you want to see him?"
That wasn't an answer, it was an avoidance of the question. "I…I don't know," Meredith admitted. A small part of her did, if for no other reason than to ask him why he had left her. She could understand him leaving her mother, but her? What sort of man left his daughter? "I guess maybe one day I might. Ask him why."
"Oh, Mer, he didn't leave because of you," Ellis shook her head. "He left because, in his words, I sucked him dry. He had to leave." She shifted her position, bringing her body closer to Meredith's. "Now, back to this boy, was that the only thing he said?"
She couldn't do it. No matter how understanding her mother was being right now, she couldn't bring herself to tell her about the rape. Especially since she wasn't sure if it had been rape at all. Maybe Derek's sister was right, and she had just gotten so drunk she decided or agreed to have a threesome. Maybe she was that girl, and if so she didn't want her mother knowing it. "Pretty much. I really cared about him. I thought…maybe…I…you know…loved him. Love isn't this painful though."
Ellis laughed, startling Meredith. "Oh, Meredith, love is always painful." They both look towards the door when the bell rang. The silhouette of a tall, boy stood there. "Is that him?" Meredith nodded. "Do you want me to get rid of him?"
"No. This is something I have do. Thank you though." Impulsively, Meredith pressed a soft kiss to her mother's cheek.
Sweat coated the palms of Derek's hands. On the other side of the ornate door he could see a slender woman with perfectly styled hair in a white blouse and black pants staring out at him. He knew without being told that she was Meredith's mother, they had the same delicate features and slender form. He forced himself to smile as the door swung open.
"Can I help you?" She asked. Her voice was almost as cold as her frosty blue-green eyes. A chill ran down Derek's back.
"Is…is…Meredith home?" He knew that she was, the car she had driven was parked in the driveway. If her mother said no he would have to accept that, but he wouldn't give up. He would talk Meredith, and he would try to salvage what they had.
"Yes, actually, she is." The woman's fingers curled around the door. His gaze was instantly drawn to her hands. Those hands were worth almost a million dollars. "If you will follow me." She opened the door further, permitting him to enter. A lump formed in his throat as he stepped into the house. The antiques in the foyer alone would pay for his family's home.
He followed Ellis into what he assumed was a living room. There was no television or sign of a cabinet were one could be hidden. A large white sofa faced a glass wall with the most breath taking view of Puget Sound he had ever seen. His mouth silently formed the word wow. Sitting in a chair that was made of the same white fabric was Meredith. The puffiness around her eyes and the sad frown on her face gnawed at his stomach. He had done that to her, he was responsible for her tears.
"Meredith, I'm going to see to dinner." Ellis gave him a narrowed eyed glance before disappearing down a small hallway.
"I'm sorry," Derek blurted out. Not the most eloquent of apologies, but he was hoping his sincerity would make up for it. She didn't say anything, just looked at him from sad, green eyes. "You have to know I didn't tell Nancy any of those things. She over heard Alex and me talking, and she didn't even hear the whole conversation. Those things she said…it was just her being a bitch. I don't know why, but she just is. It's nothing personal." He winced. Nothing personal? His sister had, in not so many words, called Meredith a slut.
"Nothing personal? I think she was very personal." Meredith snapped. She shook her head. The sadness was leaving her eyes, being replaced by anger. "Not only was she personal, you let her! You let her say those things to me. She shouldn't have said them, and you shouldn't have let her!" Her voice had raised an octave. He had never seen her this way before, so angry. "I thought you were different, that you actually cared. You're just like everyone else, though. The only person you care about is you."
"That isn't true," Derek defended. He did care. He cared more than he thought he would. She wasn't just some girl. She was Meredith. She was special. She had to realize that. She had to know he felt that way. She had to.
"It is. If it wasn't you wouldn't be apologizing. There wouldn't be anything to apologize for." She unfolded her tiny body from the chair. "I think it's time for you to leave."
"Meredith, please, will you just listen? Please!" Derek pleaded. She shook her head, crossing her arms. The stubborn tilt of her chin told him he wasn't going to get anywhere with her. "Okay. Fine. I understand. You're hurt right now. I'm not giving up on you though. I refuse to give up on you." He offered her a sad smile, then let himself out of the house.
With fingers that trembled slightly Izzie reached for the hem of her sweater. She took a deep breath then tugged it over her head. It fell to the maroon tiled floor of Alex's bathroom. Her khaki pants soon followed. They had been at his aunt's house for almost two hours when the vivacious blonde who looked more like a life size barbie then someone's aunt had left to make her rounds in the casinos that populated nearby Atlantic City. His sister Gwen, had bolted out the door soon after, muttering something about a party she had been invited to. There had been no reason for them to stay down stairs or to put off going to bed.
Izzie chewed her lip, glancing down at her semi clad body. Her breasts had grown a little since the start of school, or so Alex claimed. She really couldn't complain about her stomach or hips, they were almost perfect. Almost because she didn't like her belly button or the fact that her hips seemed a bit bony. Would Alex notice those things, she wondered as she unclasped her bra. Her brow wrinkled, as she pulled on the soft, cotton camisole she had bought. It was pale pink with white lace edging, a perfect match to the boy cut panties she wore, as well as the capri length pajama pants that sat on the marble topped vanity. The pants seemed a bit too much, so she opted for just the camisole and panties.
Taking a deep breath, she exited the bathroom and entered Alex's bedroom. Her heart pounded. They had discussed whether or not they were going to actually do it on the drive from her parents house. He had made it clear they didn't have to. He had no idea how much that had meant to her, knowing that she had the option to change her mind. She wouldn't though. This wasn't for just for him, it was for her to. She was ready.
He sat with his back against the head board, his head bent down as he fidgeted with the hem of his black flannel pants. He didn't look up until she placed one knee on the edge of the bed. His hazel eyes widened a bit as they took in her skimpy attired. His full lips tilt upward in a grin, bringing a blush to her cheeks. She didn't know why she was so embarrassed, he had seen her almost naked before. This was different though. Soon he would see her naked. "I…I wasn't sure about what to wear," she mumbled. She shifted around on the mattress, pulling back the covers. Keeping her eyes downcast, she slid under them, almost relieved to have her body covered.
"You look really pretty," Alex said softly. She jumped slightly when she realized he had crawled under the covers as well. She tried to will herself to calm down, but didn't succeed. Her heart was pounding ninety to nothing, and her breath came in small pants. "Hey, you okay?" He brushed a lock of hair from her cheek. Unable to speak, she nodded. "You sure? Because, you know, we don't have to do anything. We can just go to sleep."
Izzie shook her head. She didn't want to sleep. She rolled onto her side, facing him. She didn't know how to go about any of this. Did he start? Did she? She opened her mouth, ready to ask, when he grazed his lips across her's. She returned the favor. It was a game of their's, teasing each other with fleeting kisses. She inched her body closer, a warmth starting between her legs. Her eyes closed he curved one hand behind her neck. His tongue teased her lips apart, sweeping into her mouth. He slid his other hand up her thigh, his fingers pausing at the edge of her panties before moving them out of the way. She stiffened slightly when she felt the tips of two fingers starting to enter her. They had never used more than one, and the sensation of having two inside her wasn't one she was sure she liked. They burned, making her squirm. She frowned as he continued to slide them in and out.
"You have to relax," he whispered against her lips. She nodded, squirming again when he withdrew, then reinserted his fingers. The burning was starting to fade, being replaced by the usual tingling she felt in her belly. Izzie moved her hand toward the waist band of his pajama pants. She had done this more times than she could remember. Her fingers wrapped around his thick cock, moving up and down the length of it. She doesn't do it with her usual vigor, there would be no need to bring him to release, not this way.
Alex moved his hand out from between her legs, settling it on her hip. She slid her hand up his length one last time, then withdrew her hand. His eyes met her's for a fleeting second before he kissed her again. While their tongues danced against one another, he rolled her onto her back, settling between her legs. A shiver raced down her spine when she felt his hands reaching for the hem of her camisole. She twisted her body beneath his, working her upper body free of the garment. The warmth of his bare chest against her naked breasts add to the ache growing between her legs. She wanted to tell him to hurry, to stop with all the foreplay already, but she didn't. She was in no hurry for the pain, and she was informed enough to know it would hurt.
"Are you ready or..?" He left the question up in the air. The ball was in her court. She couldn't help worrying her lower lip before saying yes. Her heart caught in her throat, and an odd twisting started in her stomach, as she lifted her butt off the bed just enough for him to drag her panties off. Her fingers curl into the sheets, and she stared up the ceiling. The bed moved a bit as Alex discarded her panties over the side of the bed, a long with his pants. "Are you really sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure," Izzie answered, a bit startled at how certain she sounded when she felt anything but. He lowered his mouth to her's again. She engaged in the kiss eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck. The twisting in her stomach intensified when she felt the tip of his cock nudging her dampened folds apart. The word stop teetered on the tip of her tongue. The burning his fingers had caused was nothing compared to the burning his dick was causing. She could feel her body stretching, accommodating his large shaft.
"Do you want me to stop?" Alex asked. Again? She bit back a nasty reply, shaking her instead. She just wanted this first time over with. It was suppose to be good after this, amazing even, according to Cristina. She wanted that. Amazing. And she couldn't have that if they didn't do this first. "Okay," he muttered. She let out a shriek as he fully entered her, piercing through her innocence.
Tears filled her eyes when he withdrew, then entered her again. It wasn't suppose to hurt this bad. Was it? She felt like her body was being ripped in two. "Stop!" She cried, unable to take it anymore. "Please. Alex. Just stop!"
"Izzie, I…" She shook her head, sobbing harder. He stilled, not moving. Some of the tension left her body. His hands cupped her face, pushing her hair back. "Do you want me to…you know…stop, stop?"
"Yes. Maybe. No. It just…I didn't think it would hurt this much." Izzie let out a shuddering breath.
"We should stop." She wrapped her legs around his waist to prevent him from withdrawing. "Izzie, I don't want to hurt…"
"I'm fine, okay? See." She plastered a too bright grin on her face, bringing a laugh to his lips. She lifted her head, her mouth meeting his. She focused on the kissing, trying hard to not tense back up when he started moving inside her again. Underneath the burning and pain, she could feel some of the tingle coming back. She would cling to that. She just had to get through this first time…first.