me again, just a quick disclaimer: sadly i own nothing. im working on a time machine to go back to force Stephenie to give me all the publishing rights and copyright stuff, but so far i have nothing :(

BIOLOGY TEACHER'S POV

I sighed as the first class of the day swarmed into the biology lab. It was the first day back and depression was already seeping into my life. I should've been a chiropractor.

I finished sorting the papers on my desk and turned round.

"AAAH!" I shouted when I walked into something, somebody, hard. I looked up and found myself staring at a guy built like a tank. He was huge.

"Helloooooo," he said happily.

"Um, can I help you?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"I'm here to learn biology!"

"Oh, ok, you must be..." I checked the register. "Emmett Cullen?" He nodded enthusiastically. "Ok, there's a spare seat next to Amanda at the back."

"Is Amanda the fat one or the short one?"

"Uh, the um short one," I muttered as quietly as I could. The supposedly fat girl's mouth fell open.

"Good, 'coz the other one really is biiiiiiig."

"Please just sit down," I moaned.

"Yes ma'am!"

"I'm a man..." The kid trotted off, completely ignoring me. I felt slightly freaked out by him. Amanda's eyes were fixed on him as he walked toward her. He sat down cheerfully. Everybody in the room seemed to be watching them. I coughed, but none of them noticed.

After about a minute, Emmett noticed Amanda was still staring at him. He put on a goofy smile and gave her a little wave. Her eyes rolled upward and she fainted. He kept waving as she slid to the floor.

I ignored them. I was there to teach biology, not become a paramedic. I changed the subject. "Has anyone been up to anything biology-related this summer?" I asked the class. I never expected a single reply when I asked this, so I staggered backwards when Emmett's hand shot up. "Um, yes?" I asked fearfully.

"I've got a biology project!"

"Ok, well, why don't you come and show us your miracle of science?"

"Yay," he said, skipping to the front. He bent down and I realised he was taking off his shoes. I panicked when he took off his socks and put his foot on my desk. There was definitely a distinctive smell. I fell over backwards.

"You have poisonous mushrooms growing between your toes," I said while lying on the floor.

"Yeah I know, it took ages. Pretty cool huh? Oh I forgot, yaaarrrrr!"

I lifted my head up from the surprisingly squidgy lino, realising he had a t-shirt on that said: I heart Fungi. "What is that, a pirate?"

"No! Everybody knows I'm Scottish!" he huffed, folding his arms.

"Well they do now, captain shnook."

"Who the hell is that? And anyway, it's SCOTTISH!"

I dropped my head back down on the ground heavily. "Of course it is," I muttered.