:) happy new year everbody, keep reviewing!

EMMETT'S POV

When the weird teacher with gelled hair came in amidst our war of calories and I accidentally threw some cake at him, I got out of there! I crawled under the tables until I was almost at the door, then looked over my shoulder to see how far I'd come. I shouldn't have done that as it made me veer off course. I crawled into the doorframe then straight into the teacher next to it.

He wobbled then toppled over, landing on me. I once had a dream where somebody jumped on me and then I was attacked by a lemur covered in chocolate pudding, making me terrified of chocolate lemurs and people jumping on me. So I screamed and ran.

EDWARD'S POV

After Emmett had let out quite a feminine scream, remembering his lemur dream, Mr Amos slowly got to his feet, rubbing his head and mumbling, "Oh my, I've come over all peculiar." When he had wiped the cake off his face and realised we were all staring at him, he put on his sternest face (it was like a child pouting after being told he couldn't have any more ice cream, he was fat enough).

"Now which of you began this monssstrosity?" he hissed. It was painful to listen to, and I immediately felt sorry for Jasper who'd had to put up with it for an entire lesson. When no one answered, he glared and stomped his foot. "Do not expect me to believe that this loquaciousss behaviour is a farce of my own imagination that has occurred sssimply due to the undiluted stressss of teaching English!" He looked tearful from the emotion of his speech, and I have to say it really touched me. I sniffed and was about to applaud, but Jasper irritatingly shattered my euphoria by muttering "lo-who?"

I turned around to glare viciously at him. "Jasper!" I snarled. Sadly, Mr Amos thought I was saying it was Jasper who started the food fight and he marched over purposefully.

"Right!" he squeaked. "You shall be –"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Alice cried, throwing herself in front of Jazz. "Take me instead! I will not live without him! I don't care if I die, I –"

"Alice, please stop making such an ass of yourself!" Rosalie snapped.

Alice sniffed, pulling herself together. She took a deep breath. "Ok. But please, it was I, not Jasper, to throw the first missile of food." She shuddered, wiping something green of her arm. Mr Amos nodded.

"You shall alsso go the principal'sss office at the end of the day!" With that he turned sharply, slipped on a banana peel and smashed into the wall. He straightened his tie, tripped over a stray egg and flew out of the door. The man knew how to exit a room.

Alice blinked. "Is that it?" she asked warily.

"Yep!" I replied cheerfully. Maybe I should try to be more like that English teacher in the future. I was sure he was known nationally for his talents.

"Oh," she said, then shrugged and walked off with Rosalie.

I glanced over at Jasper, who was again feeling sorry for himself for not getting to spend more time with Alice. "Shall we go find Emmett?"

"We've been doing that a lot lately," he replied thoughtfully.

"Look, it isn't my fault you convinced him that the Jonas Brothers were in league with the CIA and were investigating anyone who bought crumpets last week."

He shrugged. "Meh, I had nothing else to do. What can you do on a Tuesday?" We later found out that Tuesday was the day the hiking club played monopoly and ate ginger snaps, but that wasn't the point. So, we walked out of the cafeteria to find our brother, while everyone else just stood there, drenched in food.