"Hangovers…fucking….suck"

The sun shone in through blinds as the head bursting sound of birds filled the air. Orochimaru slowly began to awake from his drunken slumber, everything hurt. The only soothing feeling was a warm steady breath on his chest and the embrace of someone hugging him. He painfully opened his eyes to the blinding sun, but also to find something white and puffy idling in his vision. "w-what the fuck" he stammered looking down; his vision was blurry at first but soon adjusted to find a horrific sight.

Jiraiya was clung onto orochimarus waist asleep, the only piece of clothing either of them wore was there boxers but orochimarus were loosely pulled down half way. His eyes grew wide and he sat there for a minute, to shock for words. Then finally the lump in his throat broke loose and he let out a loud, terrified scream. Jiraiya, startled by the scream, sat up his left hand gently leaning against orochimarus groin "huh! What! What's going on!" Orochimaru pushed jiraiya off scrambling to the other side of the bed "you tell me! Why are you naked!" it didn't take jiraiya long to realize the situation and he quickly replied "I don't know why are you naked!" "I don't know!" Orochimaru yelled back pulling his boxers up and using a pillow to cover up.

Jiraiya gripped his head "owww fuck stop yelling!" Orochimaru bit his lip to hold back a rude remark; his breath was heavy with fear. They sat there staring at each other in complete shock and slowly there gaze went around the room. There was a hole in the wall and clothes were spread out everywhere. Jiraiya said "what did we do…" Orochimaru gulped "im not sure" he was suddenly aware of a stinging pain on his ears "ow! Fuck!" he gripped his ears to find 2 clothes pins stabbed through them "m-my ears are pierced!" Jiraiya pointed laughing as the taste of blood trickled into his mouth and pain shot through his nose he froze and touched his nose, there was a tack stuck through it. Orochimaru snickers "serves you right for laughing at me" Jiraiya glared yanking the tack out "shut up!"

While bathing in the victory for each others' misery they stood up and got dressed, neither of them could ignore a awkward feeling below the belt, it felt sticky but neither of them checked to see what it was, not yet. Orochimaru walked out of the room to find the rest of his house was a mess but it was also silent. "Where's ryuu?" he questioned looking around the house Jiraiya shrugged "i-I dunno" Then, there was a knock on the door.

Orochimaru looked over "come in" tsunade walked in carrying ryuu in her arms "well good morning you 2 love bugs" Jiraiya groans sitting on the couch "please don't say that" Tsunade sets ryuu down next to him "well its true, last night you both confessed your undying love for each other" They both stared at her "w-what?" "yup…im going to guess you don't remember" Orochimaru shook his head sitting down "no…but how do you?" Tsunade said "I only had one glass, I don't get addicted to alcohol easily unlike you 2 did" [authors note: hahahaha…funny, I bet next she'll say she never lost a bet] Jiraiya said "so you can tell us what happened!" Tsunade said "….i don't think you want to know what happened" "no no we do! Please tell us!" Tsunade exhaled deeply "…fine"

*FLASH BACK*

Orochimaru leaned over wrapping his arms around jiraiyas neck "jiirraaa has anyone ever told you that your hair is soooo fluffy?" Jiraiya wrapped his arms around orochimaru "yeees, has anyone ever told you your eyes are soooo beautiful" A blush went across orochimarus face "you think im beautiful?" Jiraiya blushed "well…yeah" they stared at each other for a minute then Jiraiya dropped down to one knee taking orochimarus hand "oh orochimaru! Ever since I laid eyes on your black silky hair I knew you were the one!" "oh jira!" orochimaru gasped as he threw himself onto jiraiya, they both landed on the floor. Orochimaru stared into jiraiyas eyes as their heads moved closer together; Jiraiya moved his hand behind Orochimarus head and crashed their lips together into a long kiss. Tsunade and Ryuu sat there in shock staring at the young drunken lovers. "o..owo?" ryuu said in a worried tone Tsunade looked to him and sighed "come on ry..you can stay at my house tonight"

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Jiraiya was gagging and whipping off his tongue "ew ew ew ew! There is no way I swapped spit with him!" Orochimaru just sat there in a disgusted shock. Tsunade nods "well you did, and trust me...you 2 were happily feeling around during it" Jiraiya leans back "oh my god im going to be sick!" Orochimaru said "h..how did we end up back at my house?" Tsunade shrugs "im not sure but I came back to check on you guys and…well…"

*FLASHBACK*

Tsunade walked into the house "jiraiya? Orochimaru?" she looked around at the broken glass and torn up cough pillows and sighed "idiots…" a loud thump turned her attention to the bed room the thump was followed by groans and moans. Tsunade hesitantly walked over and cracked the door open peering in, but was shocked by what she saw. Orochimaru was on top of jiraiya pinning him to the bed by his shoulders, his tongue gently wrapped around his waist and disappeared into jiraiyas pants. Jiraiya was moaning and squirming "ah! Orochimaru!" Tsunade stared and closed the door quickly leaving the house.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Orochimaru stared blankly at tsunade he covered his mouth feeling a taste creeping up his throat, it was salty. Tsunade said "I don't know what happened after that but I had no plans on sticking around to find out" Jiraiya looked to orochimaru staring at him "t-tsunade…can you take ryuu and leave…I think me and orochimaru need to talk" Tsunade nods she picked up ryuu and walked out.

Silence went through the room for a few minutes, they just stared at each other in shock. Slowly the memories of last night began to creep into their minds. Jiraiya broke the silence "so…are we gay" "no! no of course not! we're just…2 guys who..got to drunk and…butt fucked" Jiraiya nods and took a deep breath "you're right you're right…it was all just a accident, im straight I know im straight" Orochimaru nods "right same here, look…let's just try to forget this and…put it behind us" Jiraiya nods "agreed"

"….what?"

"oh nothing"

"im straight! I swear! ...i just get a little crazy when drunk"

"sure sure sure"

". . .shut up"