Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. And would it kill you people to REVIEW!? I know you guys are reading this!

Opening theme: Baka Survivor(2nd opening of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo)

Chapter 4: The Turtle

"There's a Captain Mako in town, looking for someone to take his ship," Tazuna said, "You'll find him at the Turtle, the worst dive in the country."

"That's what Mr. Tazuna said," Sakura fumed, eyes darting back and forth, from one side of the street to the other, "But I wish he gave us better directions."

Tazuna's 'directions' were nothing more than a piece of paper, with a scrawl of the Wave Country's outline. On one point of the 'map' was a dot labeled, 'You are here' with another dot labeled, 'The Turtle'.

"At least we know where to look," Naruto said, "I was afraid we'd have to search the whole country!"

Shikamaru looked skyward and sighed. "Yeah, now we just have to search the bad part of town,"

"That is no problem!" Lee flashed him a thumbs-up. "All we need to do is ask for directions!" Lee bounded over to the nearest man. "Excuse me, sir, but I was wondering…"

"I gave at the office!" The nervous-looking man said, and took off with the speed of a humming bird's wingpattern.

Lee stared at the retreating back. "This may be more difficult than I thought…" He mused.

Hinata looked around for someone less capable of escaping. She noticed off to the side an old man. This elderly person was hunchbacked, wearing outdated, Chinese clothing, and was sitting behind a hastily set-up stall for selling puppets.

"E-excuse me," Hinata said nervously, walking up to the geezer. "Do you…"

"Hello there, young lady," the old timer cut in suddenly, wheezing, "Would you like to buy a puppet?"

"Um, no, you see…"

The old man held up a marionette for all to see. "This is my best one. His name is Painoko." He then held up a ventriloquist dummy, "But if that isn't your style, there's also Motahmah…"

"We don't want your stupid toys!" Naruto burst in- and took a step back when the geezer gave him a stern look.

He glares like Old Man Third...

"Ye-ah," Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head at the awkwardness of the moment. "Look. Do you know where we can a place called, The Turtle?"

"It's right over there." The geezer pointed past Team Naruto. Looking to where he was pointing, the Leaf Ninja saw a somewhat unpleasant-looking building with a sign over the door that said, 'Turtle'. They sweatdropped.

"Ah… Thanks." Shikamaru said.

DATTEBAYO

They say you can't judge a book by its cover. Taking that in mind, Team Naruto did their best not to make any preconceptions about the tavern's status. Upon entering, they realized that calling The Turtle a dive would have elevated its status ten feet. Making their way to the bar, the group was painfully aware of the stares they were getting from the patrons.

"WHAT?!" Naruto snarled, annoyed, "If we're that interesting, take a picture- it'll last longer!"

There were several flashes before normal activity in the Turtle resumed. Naruto went up to the bar and ordered lunch. He hadn't anything to eat since leaving the Hidden Leaf Village.

"Hey mister," Shikamaru said while Naruto ate, "We're looking for a Captain Mako, ya know him?"

The barkeep shrugged. "The Cap'n? Sure, I know him. Comes here all the time, looking for someone to take his ship."

"So he hasn't sold it yet?" Hinata asked. She and Sakura exchanged overjoyed looks as the bartender nodded. "That's wonderful!"

"Maybe…anyway, not that it's my business, but why are you so keen on finding Mako, anyway?" the bartender glanced at their headbands. "Does he owe your boss money, or something?"

Lee shook his head. "No, it is nothing like that. We are looking for a ship and-"

"Hey, mister!" Two voices broke in. One belonged to Naruto. The other belonged to an unruly-looking fella. This man looked to be about in his 30s, at least. He was dressed in leather, with jeans and a vest that stayed open to reveal a muscular chest. Every portion of this man's body seemed to be rippling with well-toned muscles. He had black hair that seemed to jut upwards like a ball of fire, and thick mustache that looked like someone had glued several sea urchins just below his nose. Tatoo-ed on his shoulder was a black-and-white bulls-eye.

"This fish tastes…" They both began at the same, but their opinions went in different directions.

"Pretty good." Naruto sighed.

"Pretty bad!" the big man gagged at the same time.

Naruto and the big man then took a swig from their drinks. "But your drinks are…"

"Gonna kill me!" Naruto gagged.

"To die for…" sighed the big man.

Suddenly aware that there was a difference of opinion, Naruto and the big man glared at each other from the corner of their eyes.

"I'll be sure to tell the cook that," the barkeep said, eyeing the two oddly. "But you better take a runner start first."

Naruto and the big man ended the staring contest, though not satisfied.

Shikamaru didn't like the situation at all.

I hope this doesn't come to blows…it would be such a pain to get thrown out.

Hinata was more concerned about her crush. There was something about the big man that made her nervous.

"Hey barkeep," The big man said suddenly, jerking a thumb at Naruto, "Since when do ya let wild animals in here?"

Naruto growled, but forced a big smile on his face. "Yeah, you should call the zoo to see if any of their apes escaped."

The big man shook with rage, but let that comment slide. Instead, he motioned to the bartender and said, "Make me up an order of your stake to go, with some ketchup on the side."

Naruto then waved to the bartender too. "Hey mister, gimme another one of those fish to go, with a double order of mustard."

The big man then said, "Yeah, I'd like to add a thing'a vinegar to that steak."

"And put some guacamole with mine!"

"And some mustard!"
"And some Tabasco sauce!"

All of a sudden, the two whirled at each other, Naruto's sleeves rolled and the big man's fist clench.

"What's wrong with you!?" The big man snarled.

"What's wrong with you?!" Naruto hissed.

"What's wrong with both of you!?" Sakura yelled, unable to take it anymore.

Neither of them answered her. Instead they continued to glare. The big man then noticed Naruto's headband. "You a ninja?" He asked.

"Yeah," Naruto said.

"What rank?" He continued.

Naruto looked away. "G$nn..." He grumbled.

"Huh? I didn't catch that."

"Genin! Okay!?" Naruto hated the fact that even though he was equal to Kakashi-Sensei, he still had the lowest rank of his peers.

The big man didn't say anything at first. Instead, he grabbed a take-out box that the bartender laid out on the counter. Turning around, he walked out of the tavern. However, before he was completely out of the door, he muttered, "Liar," loud enough for Naruto to hear.

Who was that guy…? Naruto thought. However, his thinking was interrupted by a chakra-powered fist slamming into his head.

WHACK!

"Ow…Sakura, what was that for?" Naruto whined, clutching his head.

"That's what I wanna know! What's you problem with that guy?" Sakura demanded.

Naruto glanced at the door. "I…dunno. There was something off about him, though…"

Sakura sighed. "You're so weird." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder, where Lee and Shikamaru were seated at a table across from an old man in a sailing uniform. An argument was taking place. "That's Captain Mako," Sakura explained, "While you were messing with that big guy, he came in. Shikamaru and Lee are trying to get him to sell us his ship."

Naruto squinted. "What's wrong? Is he charging too much?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, it's the opposite. He's not charging us a thing."
"Ehh!? Then what's wrong?" Naruto asked.

Sakura sighed. "Lee doesn't think it's right to take his ship without giving him compensation, but the captain won't take a single ryo…"

Naruto shook his head and walked over to the table. "Hey," He said, getting their attention.

"Ah! Naruto! This man…" Lee began, but Naruto cut him off.

"Yeah, Sakura already told me." Naruto looked Captain Mako square in the eye. "Are there any holes in your boat?"

"No," the captain said.

"No termites?" Naruto asked.

"None," the captain said.

"No rats?" Naruto asked.

"Nuh-uh," the captain shook his head.

"No…" Naruto thought for a moment, "No super-weapon that could ultimately tip the balance between good and evil and destroy the world?"

Captain Mako blinked. "What? No!"

Naruto nodded. "Okay, we'll take it."

Captain Mako sighed in relief. "Good. Now just sign these to make it official…"

Captain Mako pulled out some legal papers and gave them to Naruto. Naruto skimmed the text.

"Lessee… 'I hereby bequeath…' yadda yadda… 'For the amount of 0 ryo…' blah blah… 'No way responsible for any…' etc., etc.…" Naruto signed his name on the dotted line at the bottom, and Captain did the same.

"Yeah!" Naruto pumped his fist into the air. "Now we got a ship!"

As Captain Mako made his way from the table, Shikamaru took him aside.

"Listen, buddy, is there some big secret about your ship you're not telling us?" The Nara heir asked.

The captain shrugged. "No big secret..." Turning around, he walked out the door.

"It's haunted, that's all."