Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, the songs or anything else mentioned in this fictional story.

Author's Note: I am absolutely thrilled of the reviews CLTCL have gotten. Thank you so much! I know I haven't been updating much but please be patient with me. It's the start of my college life and I have to make a face for myself in the university. I'm sorry though and I'll try with my very best to please all of you with more updates. But for now, here is chapter 4. Hope you like it.

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"Let me get this straight. You've loved your best friend ever since you were sixteen and she doesn't have a fucking clue about it?" I have been at the coffee shop ever since I left Blaze two hours ago. It was a 24 hour coffee shop and at this time, it was the most boring time to work as Leah, my new friend, said.

"You got it right." I drank from my fourth cup of coffee that Leah had provided for me. Their coffee can ruin Strabucks. It was the best I've ever tasted.

"She must be blind."

"How is that?"

"If I have a best friend as hot as you, I would totally do her." She said cheekily. I snorted. From the two hours that I had been with Leah, I discovered that she was a total flirt.

"You will not." I answered back. She was a girly girl. I doubt she had a thing for women.

"How can you tell?" She challenged.

"I don't see you as a lesbian." I answered her truthfully in which she arched an eyebrow at me.

Leah sighed deeply and looked directly in my eyes. "Can I be truthful to you, Alice?" Leah said seriously. I nodded at her. "I've been with a woman four times, been on random dates with women a dozen times and had two serious relationships with women."

I sat there stunned. I can't believe her. She was a lesbian? But she doesn't look like one. But then again, I can't judge a book by its cover.

"So you're a lesbian?"

"No." I was confused now. She just told me she had encounters with the same sex and now she's telling me she's not a lesbian? Huh?

"I'm confused."

"I don't just go for women. I'm bisexual." Oh that explains it.

I stayed for another hour just talking with Leah. She knew most of my life and my feelings for Bella and in return, she also told me stories about her life. She was from the reservation not far from Forks. Her father made her leave home after senior year when he found out that she was having a relationship with a woman. By that time, she can do whatever she wanted so she left town and went here in Seattle. Worked for a while and when she earned money for a business, she opened up her coffee shop.

"I have to go." I told her as I stood up from the loveseat I was sitting on. "I've got work in the morning."

"It's Sunday tomorrow." She said the obvious.

"Yeah but I have to finish a project for a meeting on Monday."

"Oh yeah, Ms. Architect. Good luck with that." She smiled at me and accompanied me out the door. "Come back soon."

"I will." I gave her a smile. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Well, we are at a coffee shop." I laughed softly and she joined me. I waved bye at her and off I go to my apartment.

I can't believe how things went tonight. I was cranky all day and when I met Leah, everything changed. Well, not everything. Mostly, I guess. Knowing her, I had some kind of confidence to do whatever I want. She had the courage to leave home and had faith that she will be successful with life. I wish I had that tough look she had. I can tell we will be great friends.

I arrived in my apartment in no time at all. I changed into some night clothes and then lay down on my bed. Slumber engulfed me within seconds.

!#$%^&*()

I worked all day the next day. I had to focus on this or I will be fucked up. Bella called me many times but I didn't answer any of it. When she tried to call me the thirteenth time, I turned off my phone. I can't have any distractions.

"Yes!" I shouted joyfully as I finally finished the last touches to my fucking plan. "I did it." I muttered to myself over and over again.

I was making dinner for myself after I danced away in my office for completing my shit when there was a knock on my door. Who could that be?

"Who is it?" I called through my front door. No one answered. "Who the hell is it?" I asked again in a harsher tone.

"Open the door Alice."

It was Bella.

I reluctantly opened the door. Our eyes immediately locked on each other.

"Hi" I said in a whisper.

"Can I come in?"

I didn't want to but she was— is— still my best friend though she didn't know that she was breaking my heart. I got out of the doorway and let her in. She leaned into me and kissed my cheek before walking over to the kitchen. Her lips touching my skin sent tingles all over my body.

Focus, Alice!

"Alice, you cooked my favourite!" Bella squealed in excitement. She can't cook to save her life so I always make her something to eat whenever she's here in my house or vice versa. I never trusted her in the kitchen. Tonight, I made ground beef enchiladas. Indeed her favourite.

"Why are you here Bella?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest and asked her. I kept my distance, the island in between us.

"What? I can't hang out with my best friend now?" She said jokingly. Bella was smiling at me like nothing ever happened last night.

"Apparently, you can't. You have a girlfriend now, right?" I know I was harsh to her but she deserved me being rude to her. Her smile faltered and I can clearly hear her mind making up excuses and sorrys before she let it out of her mouth.

"Look, Al. I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Oh! You mean you didn't just make me look like a moron in front of our friends? I went there for you because you made me. I had a lot of stuff to do but I set it aside to see you play."

"I'm sorry okay! I didn't know she was going to be-"

"I know! You already made that excuse last night, remember?" I can feel my eyes popping out in anger. I am so mad at her right now. I can't believe I even love this woman. But I can't help it. I am a masochist like that.

"Please, Alice. Just forgive me. I can't take anymore fighting." She was fighting the tears now. We haven't fought in so long. The last time was when I pushed her into the pool in my house with all of her clothes on. In no more than ten minutes, she forgave me. And we were twelve then.

I should set aside my feelings and just forgive her as a friend. I can't throw twenty-three years of friendship because I'm an asshole who can't fix a problem. No. I refuse to not be a part of her life. If friends is what we should only be then let it be. I just have to be more careful about my feelings towards Bella. I should be fine. I hope so.

I took a deep breath and let out a big gush of oxygen. I rushed over to her and then hugged her tightly.

"Thank you" She said into my ear before kissing my cheek.

So that night, we spend it together just like every night before that awful Friday night; before that blonde bimbo entered Bella's life. I can't deny that I am jealous because I fucking am. I am so mad that Bella found someone who she wants to tell all her problems, secrets and anything under the sun that it isn't me.

"So, are we eating or what?" Bella pulled from our embrace but still encircled her arms around me. I giggled at her when her stomach gurgled in starvation. She just shrugged and gave me that toothy smile.

I tried to get away from our embrace to prepare the food but she wouldn't let me. "Bella, let me go." I smacked her arm playfully and shoved her softly. She still wouldn't budge. I rested my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes sternly as she stared back as well.

"I love you Alice." My breathing hitched, my heart was pounding. She rested her forehead against mine, her breathing slow. I can feel the air coming out of her, fanning against my face and engulfing my senses. Our eyes were still locked with each other. "You're my super best friend."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, how it ended.

Those three words always ruined our moment. And she just had to say it.

"Me too." I muttered lowly. Bella kissed my cheek before letting me go. That burning fire in my cheeks

was there again. How could she not feel the connection? Or maybe it was just me and my imagination

again.

I made her a plate of my famous enchiladas and we sat down with our beers on the kitchen island. I can feel the atmosphere changing from stuffy to peaceful. Just like that, we were back to our normal selves. We can't stay mad at each other like our life depended on our friendship. And in a way, it can't be further from the truth. I need Bella like I need the air I breathe.

I wouldn't know what to do if I ever find out that that need won't ever be reciprocated. In some way, I already know. I just can't grasp the awful truth. I can't grasp that all she ever saw in me was the friendship and nothing more.