Life For Rent

Chapter 11 : Kludge

Author's Notes :

- kludge : a clumsy or inelegant solution to a problem
- Spoilers for Random on Purpose (S01E09). The timeline is a little fuzzy, I'm going to assume Abby came before the NCIS episode where they celebrated Thanksgiving.
- I do not own Bon Appétit, Toys-R-Us, Toys for Tots, Target or Barbie.
- Sorry this was late, all my friends came in to town for the holiday and we hit the pubs a couple nights in a row. Trust me, writing when tipsy… not as inspiring as it sounds.
- The Naked Chef is Jamie Oliver and I don't own him either.
- For Giggles149 who wanted to see them out of the house. I hope this satisfies. I'll probably try to do a little more next chapter. =)

**If you want more information on Toys for Tots, or want to know where you can donate, please visit: toysfortots[dot]org.

"Reading about anything interesting?"

Callen looked up from the magazine he was reading, Bon Appétit. It was Jared's and Callen was finding it surprisingly interesting as well as seeming deceptively easy. He'd just read an article on how to boil the perfect egg, yet Callen was positive that if he tried all he would get were soggy undercooked yolks. "I'm about to learn how to make a chocolate soufflé in four easy steps."

Jared laughed. "I could show you how, but it definitely takes more than four steps."

"Not according to your magazine." Callen answered. He stopped and inhaled deeply; Jared's house smelt wonderful. It was Thanksgiving and Callen had spent the previous night with Jared, only to have the younger man wake up at the crack of dawn to begin preparations. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?"

Jared was peeling potatoes and had some yams boiling in another pot while a pie baked in his microwave oven and bread rose in a corner on the counter. "Nope."

"I promise not to set anything on fire."

"Anything else." Jared corrected. "Anything else."

"That was one small piece of paper… a lesson not to leave flammable things so close to the stove."

Jared arched an eyebrow at him. "It was half a book and it wasn't close to the stove at all."

"Well, it wasn't like it was a good book."

"I wouldn't know since I never got to read it." Jared answered, but the corners of his mouth were raised in a smile.

"I bought you a new one."

"Which was very considerate since you set the last one on fire."

"Only for a few seconds."

"I seem to remember it being longer than that." He set the peeler down and began to cut the peeled potatoes into halves and then quarters.

Callen sighed. "I can do something that doesn't require the stove…"

"Why so eager to cook, G?"

"I feel bad sitting here watching you make this huge dinner while I read your magazines. I feel like I should contribute something."

"You could read my magazine naked." Jared suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Hm." Callen pretended to ponder his suggestion. "If I do that, will you cook naked?"

"That's probably a bit more dangerous than just sitting."

"What about that Naked Chef guy? Doesn't he cook naked?"

Jared laughed. "No, he doesn't. He's called the Naked Chef because his recipes use only the barest of ingredients."

"Oh." Learn something new every day… "Did I tell you I busted through a skylight?"

Jared didn't even pause in his movements. "Yup."

"And Sam lowered me down with a water hose?"

"Yup."

"And I saved the damsel in distress from the evil bad man?"

"My hero." Jared said in a deadpan, but a soft smile came over his face. "Why don't you watch tv or something? There's that parade on… or football."

Callen paused. "I'd rather watch you, but, uh, if you want me to, I can."

Jared finally looked up. "Stay." He said quietly.

Callen slowly nodded. "Okay."

Jared groaned, "I think I ate too much."

"I know I ate too much," G answered from next to him.

They were both lying on the bed in only their boxers after eating the giant meal that Jared had prepared. "I think I'm too stuffed for sex."

G laughed, "There's so much irony in that statement."

Jared blinked as he thought it over. He had to grin, "Haha, G." He rolled his eyes. "So would this be a bad time to mention that I'm getting up early?"

"Checking deliveries?" G asked.

Jared reached over and turned off the light. "Nope. I do that whole Black Friday thing. I got Matt to handle deliveries tomorrow."

"Matt the… sous chef?"

"That's him," Jared confirmed.

There was a long pause before, "So what exactly does the Black Friday thing entail?"

"Me waking up insanely early to go be trampled by aggressive mothers and overeager fathers." Jared rolled to the side, facing G and scoot up next to him. With a hand on G's hip he managed to get the older man to roll onto his side, facing the wall and Jared moved up behind him, letting his arm rest around G's waist. G froze slightly but didn't stop Jared.

"Have you ever really been trampled?"

Jared settled his hand on G's stomach, rubbing small circles there and slowly felt the other man relax. "It came close one year. I stood between a mother and some Barbie thing."

"Barbie? Where were you shopping at?"

"Toys-R-Us," Jared answered. "I like to do the Toys for Tots thing."

"…Toys for Tots?" G asked softly.

"It's with the Marine Corps. They collect new toys for kids and then hand them out for Christmas."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"For as long as I can remember. My parents started it before I was born and I'm carrying on the tradition."

G was quiet for a really long time and Jared might have believed he'd fallen asleep except that he could feel G's heart rate under his skin, and every breath that the older man took expanded his body slightly into Jared's. When G did talk again it was in a whisper, "I got a teddy-bear one year."

Jared swallowed. "From Toys for Tots?"

"I'm not sure if that's what it was, but it sounds like it, yeah. There were Marines there… well I didn't know they were Marines at the time, and they were handing out gifts. One per person."

"How old were you?"

"Seven," G whispered.

"Do you want to come with me tomorrow?" Jared asked softly.

He felt G nod against the bed. "Yeah."

"I'll wake you up," Jared promised.

"Thank you."

"You won't be thanking me tomorrow morning," The younger man joked lightly.

G reached up and squeezed the hand on his stomach. "That wasn't what I meant."

"I know," Jared said quietly.

"This is unbelievable," Callen muttered. He shivered and stuck his hands in his sweatshirt pocket. Even in southern California it was cold before the sun came up. He exhaled and could see his breath and shivered again.

"All the people?" Jared asked. He stepped up behind Callen and wrapped his arms around the slightly shorter man, sharing body heat.

"Yeah." Callen looked around. There were probably about fifty people in line ahead of him and a hundred behind; the store didn't open for another hour. "You do this every year?"

"Sometimes I go to Target first, but yeah," Jared confirmed.

"So what are we getting this year?"

"I usually buy about twenty things, sometimes more, sometimes less."

Callen leaned backwards into Jared. "Maybe I should make my team donate something."

"You have that power?" Jared asked.

"I like to think I do," Callen answered with a laugh. "In reality, probably not."

"Hetty…? Could?"

Callen nodded. "Hetty, yeah."

"Her name is unusual." The other man remarked.

"It's short for Henrietta."

"Ah, got it." Jared paused. "Are you okay with this?"

"With waiting in line?" Callen clarified.

"No." Jared squeezed the arms around Callen's waist before relaxing them again.

"It's fine."

"Positive?" Jared asked, unsure.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Jared pressed a quick kiss to Callen's cheek. "Cool."

"Yeah, cool."

"Sam would love this."

"What is it?"

"Nerf gun."

"Then get it for him."

"I never get him anything."

"Then it's time to start."

"…Kensi would like this."

"Add it to the basket."

"…And Dom would probably like this. It's hard to tell with him."

"Is he the new one?"

"Yeah."

"He'll appreciate the thought."

"Should I get Hetty something?"

"You should always get the boss something."

"And Nate."

"The shrink?"

"Yeah."

"He'll love that."

"I wonder if Eric already has this."

"You can never have too many."

"You sure?"

"Oh, totally."

"…You know, I never did this before you."

"It's nice to try new things once in a while, G."

"Hmm. I'm not sure my wallet sees it that way."

"What else are you spending your money on?"

"…Good point."

Jared laughed. "We'll make a gift giver out of you yet."

"Heaven help us."