A Lot Like Love

BPOV

This part of my life is a new start.

Time really flies by, it felt like just yesterday we arrived in our new apartment in Seattle. Alice was picking out all of our furniture while Rose and I were out looking for jobs. Rose received her degree in dance, as an instructor, and I got mine in teaching music. Alice received hers in fashion and design and also got a nice letter of recommendation for being top in her class the whole term.

A year after we had moved to Seattle Emmett showed up unannounced and asked Rose to marry him. They had been doing the long distance relationship thing since we left and I guess he got tired of it. It was one of those fairy tale kinds of proposals, he knocked on the door drenched like a wet dog and Rose was in her pajamas with her hair piled on top of her head. He was breathing hard and she was worried that something had happened. He got down on one knee and she thought he was trying to rest until he held the little black velvet box up to her. She gasped and said yes before he even got the question out.

It wasn't until a few days later that she came to us and told us she was going on the road with him while he traveled with the Chargers. We were required to attend any games close to home because we would have VIP seating along with free accommodations. We were also required to attend the super bowl if they so happened to make it that far. With Emmett on the team I knew we would be making that trip.

It was a sad goodbye when she left. We turned her room into an office and Alice and I split the bills 50/50. Jasper moved to Seattle not long after Rose moved out so he could be closer to Alice. They were the cutest couple but they made me blush sometimes with the way they looked at each other. I knew he would take good care of her though, you could see the intensity of his love for her. He also did everything she wanted to do and treated her like a princess. She deserved that kind of treatment because she never asked for it and she never took it for granted. I was nauseatingly happy for both of them.

I got a job a few weeks after we moved at an elementary school in S.E Seattle. I was teaching 4th graders how to orchestrate and play together as a group. I wasn't the greatest at playing all of the instruments but I could definitely teach someone else to be wonderful. That was the best part of my job; seeing a kid realize they can play the flute or the trombone and watch their eyes light up when they see how fulfilling practice and determination can be.

The day Alice moved out, which was two years after we moved to Seattle, was one of the worst since…we'll just say it was the second worst experience of my life. I loved my sister and I didn't want to live by myself.

I met someone; we were friends at first, more like acquaintances. He works for the company that delivers the food to the cafeteria; we'd run into each other on a few occasions. We didn't speak much until the day he asked me out on a date. I was reluctant at first but decided maybe a man could take my mind off of another man. The first couple of dates were overbearingly awkward but after that it wasn't all together terrible. He was nice, he didn't talk a lot like some people do and he didn't mind the silence which made him more attractive.

I had sex for the first time and it was nothing like what I expected. I'd heard so many things; it was going to hurt, it didn't; I was going to bleed, I didn't; it was going to feel so good like my whole body would fill with feel good juice and release it causing it to erupt.

Yeah, I envisioned one of those KY Jelly commercials when they cut from the bed to a waterfall and back to the couple after they already did the deed. Yay…it was dull and didn't feel like anything, I guess you could say he wasn't well endowed or skilled.

He was sweet and kind and I could tell he loved me, he put all of my needs before his and he spoiled me often; what more could a girl ask for?

We made it a tradition to watch any games that included the chargers over at Jasper and Alice's house. We'd been doing it through three seasons now and they still hadn't made Super Bowl. Yes, Jasper and Alice live in a cute little house in S.E Seattle, white picket fence included; well, actually it's brown but it still puts off the same vibe.

The championship games were in full swing and the Chargers were playing against the Dallas Cowboys for a shot at the Super Bowl. The last couple of games I brought Mike with me and he seemed to get along with Alice and Jasper just fine. That made me happy, at least I'd found someone that could mix well with my family.

It was half time and Alice pulled me to her loft, "We're calling Rose because this is important." She held out her cell phone and it rang three times before Rose could be heard on the other end.

"Hey sis, I miss you, how's everything?"

"Bella's here too," Alice sang with excitement.

"Aw, I miss you guys so much. I can't wait to see you," we could hear people celebrating in the background as they watched the half time show.

"I have some news," Alice was bouncy and the excitement rang high in her voice. She held out her hand."

"Oh my god Alice that's huge," I gasped when I saw the giant diamond ring on her tiny finger. "When did he ask you?"

"What…when did who ask who what?" Rose's voice carried through the phone that was on speaker.

"Last night at dinner, he took me out to this really fancy restaurant in downtown, it was perfect you guys, just perfect."

"Jasper asked you to marry him?" Rose questioned.

"Yes, and I said yes." She was beaming with joy and to be honest it made me sick. She was destined for pure happiness while I feel like I am settling. Mike is a good catch; that was obvious but it just didn't feel right between us. The more time we spent together the more I could feel it.

We said bye to Rose and joined the guys back in the front room just as the second half started. I gave my congratulations to Jasper and sat a few inches away from Mike. I knew he would do what he did next because he always had to be basically sitting on top of me to be happy. He scooted over so our legs were touching and rested his hand on my thigh.

I knew right then and there that we weren't going to last much longer. I can't help how I feel and I don't feel a thing for him; it isn't right to let it go on for much longer.

The whole game I stared at his hand on my leg, trying to figure out how I was going to do it, I was going to break his heart when I know how much that hurts.

"Ahh!" Alice's high pitch scream brought me back to reality and she was hugging Jasper energetically. "We won, we won. We're going to the Super bowl, we're going to the Super Bowl," she chanted in his arms.

"Does that mean we're going to the Super Bowl?" Mike asked. I wanted to say "No we need to talk", or "Maybe that's not such a good idea", but the look on his face was sheer happiness and I couldn't break that. Plus Alice replied before I could.

"Yes we're going to Super Bowl. Whoop whoop whoop," she moved her tiny fist, the one with the weight on it, through the air fist pumping like champs in a deep voice for her.

We were going to the Super Bowl, Mike was coming along and I had no idea what to do about the mixed up feelings I was having.

When I met Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Jasper's adoptive parents, it seemed like I knew them from somewhere. They had said the same thing when they saw me, but we couldn't figure it out.

"What's wrong Bella?" Mike asked when we were getting ready for bed the night before the game.

"Nothings wrong, I feel fine," I lied. Really I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with him. I was lying to him and myself by doing it. I told myself this was the last weekend I was going to pretend; once we got home I was going to tell him the truth.

"You would tell me if you were having second thoughts about us wouldn't you?" his question startled me and I think he saw the answer.

"I think I love you Bella, I want you to be my wife someday and I hope you feel the same way." Again he caught me off guard and he looked so vulnerable and easily offended.

"I don't know what to say to that," I answered honestly.

"You don't have to say anything until you're ready to say it," he added that last part with a lump in his throat.

I wanted to tell him that time would never come, that I cringed at just the thought of sleeping all night in this bed with him, but of course I couldn't say either of those things. "Thank you."

Morning came and I really didn't feel like eating breakfast with everyone and to be quite honest I was a little uncomfortable around their parents. I text Alice and told her I wasn't feeling well and that I'd see them in the box.

I took an extra long shower and Mike took one after me. I think he was trying to hint that we should take one together but that just wasn't something I wanted to do at all. We were running late because Mike takes an unusually long time to get ready and I hate being the last person to arrive anywhere. That just gave people more reason to look in my direction or stare.

I felt like I was lying to everyone in the room when we entered holding hands, this was definitely going to be a long and agonizing game. The next couple of things seemed to happen all at once.

The feeling of déjà vu came over me, something that hasn't happened since the graduation party three years ago. Then a loud intake of breath came from somewhere in the room, I wasn't sure it was from me or someone in the group of people sitting in the bleachers; and then I saw him.

I remembered instantly where I'd seen Carlisle and Esme, they were Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. I suddenly couldn't breathe and Mike's hand was like a heavy weight holding me there in that room.

It was like I was back in Forks, at the group home looking into his emerald scorching eyes. So many memories flashed before my eyes until Mike stepped between us, "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Um, shit…I need to get some air." I turned and released Mike's hand to walk back out the door.

"Wait, I'll go with you," he offered.

"No! I'll be fine, stay and have a good time. I won't be long," with that I hurried out the door and didn't even make it to the other side of the hallway before my knees started to buckle under me. I reached out to grab the wall for support and thankfully I found it without falling on my face.

My breathing was something fierce, like I'd just run a mile and my heart mirrored its pace. This whole time, ever sense the first week of college he has been within my reach and I didn't even know it. I thought back further to the first time I'd had that feeling, at the airport, at the beach, the ballet dinner, the graduation party and last night.

What the hell did that even mean?

I found the smoking area and dipped out the door. When I went to take a deep breath as I turned to face whoever was out there I inhaled someone's secondhand smoke and gagged from the pain it caused in my throat.

"You okay sweetie?" and older woman asked blowing smoke from between her lips lazily.

"I'm fine, I don't smoke," I laughed nervously and excused myself quickly making my way all the way to the corner where the fences came together. I held onto the fence for balance and attempted to look back at what just happened; to try and make sense of the world because I must have done something to deserve this torture.

Ten years has passed and not a night has gone by that I haven't seen his face, well the boys face, and now here he sits, the brother of my soon to be brother in laws. The feeling I sometimes get, apparently when he is in the vicinity, started creeping up my body, starting from the tips of my fingers and toes and meeting in the middle. Was it ever going to stop? I felt so confused, light, free, wild, calm, and hysterical all at once.

I liked it. It made me the feel the most alive I have in a long time.

I saw his tousled hair first, it was coming fast, and then it stopped. He started back towards the room then back towards the smoking entrance more than a few times until he finally decided to make his next move.

EPOV

There she fucking was in all her splendor. The fucking bitch comes into my brothers box with some dip shit holding her hand to top it off.

The universe officially has it out for me.

I allowed myself to examine the small subtle, yet noticeable, changes; her eyes were still the same deep chocolate I remember. My memory didn't do them justice in the least. Her face looked the same, aged but not so much, she was gorgeous, more so than I remember, age only made her look that much more tantalizing.

When Mike interrupted our locked eyes fury raged within me. So many sleepless nights I have spent looking into those eyes. So many moments when I felt like nothing made sense anymore because of those sleepless nights. I had to know why she did it, why she left and didn't leave me a way back to her. This mother fucker was already on my bad side, this just made him on the worst side possible.

"Um, shit…I need to get some air." She was trying to avoid my question, her voice was like angels to my ears. I never thought I would hear its beauty again and there I was, only 15 feet away from, literally speaking, the woman of my dreams. The realization of that hit me like a ton of bricks; my Bella was in this room.

Not my Bella, Bella from my past.

"No, I'll be fine, stay and have a good time. I won't be long," she replied to something the douche bag said to her and then she was out the door.

My feet itched to follow her, to corner her somewhere and demand answers to the question that have been haunting me for years. I had to wait so it didn't seem like I was going after her. Someone would suspect something and I didn't need the distraction. I could have asked her right there, made a scene and ruined everyone's good time, but I couldn't do it. It wasn't for their sake, mine or her's; it was for Emmett. This was his once in a lifetime opportunity to play in the Super Bowl, I wasn't going to make him look bad over something I can't change.

Five minutes went by and I decided to make my move, "I'll be right back," I told Jasper. Alice gave me some kind of look I wasn't able to translate it but it looked accusing. No one else gave a second notice, including the dip shit she came in with. As soon as I stepped out of the door the feeling came over me, starting in the tips of my toes and fingers and it started to fill me and expand as I walked further and further away from the room.

She said she needed air; the only place to get it would be the smoking section. I came upon the door; I could see it some 30 feet ahead of me. As I got closer my emotions were conflicting, causing me to change my mind several times before I managed to grasp the door and pull it open. Subconsciously I looked right at her, crouching in the corner area, up against the fence gripping it for support. She didn't look at me but she had to know I was there. Unless this feeling is only something I feel, my inner voice suggested. I had an overbearing need to comfort her, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. That thought brought back memories of the way our relationship worked when we had one. She betrayed me for all the good I did for her. She had some explaining to do.

I managed to move my feet which felt like blocks of concrete and she never looked in my direction but she moved slightly with every step I took.

"I can't do this," I heard her say when I stood but five feet away from her. "I wasn't prepared for this and I can't do it."

"You owe me an explanation," I choked on the words and it came out as more of a plea than a demand like I intended.

"I don't owe you anything," she shot at me, looking up from the ground and directly into my eyes. She hated me.

"The hell you don't, I've spent the last 10 fucking years trying to rid my mind of you and here you are flaunting your shit all in front of me." I spat the last part because that's just fucked up. Break a man's heart and then stomp on it too.

"You are the one that never came back, why don't you explain that to me? No, on second thought don't because it'll be a lie anyway." She looked angry like she's been waiting to release this frustration for a long time; 10 fucking years is my guess.

"What makes you think I didn't come back?"

"Well did you," she pushed when I didn't give her the answer.

"Why should I tell you," I snapped, "It'll be a lie anyway, wont it?" I was actually in shock, seeing the woman I thought I'd never see again yet I see her every night in my subconscious. It was tantalizing and this was going down at the most important football game of my brother's career. I had to get myself together.

"I don't know you tell me," her tone was calmer, still pissed and hurt but calmer.

"It's not even worth my time," I turned away from her, as hard as it was I did it and walked right out the door and back to the box. She wouldn't believe me if I told her that I showed up there only to have my heart ripped out and shattered. She wouldn't believe me if I told her that I have dreamt of her every night since then and she definitely wouldn't believe me if I told her about the feeling that comes over me whenever she is in the same vicinity.

BPOV

I started hyperventilating after he left, the feeling that came over me was so powerful and overbearing; almost lethal. His eyes that bored into mine were deep and they were hurt, nothing like I remember them; probably mirroring my own pain and suffering.

Did he really go back for me? I was there for six months after he left, would he have called if I would have left him a number to reach me?

I had to stop my train of thought there because it would only add to my frustration and bewilderment. I took a deep breath and willed myself to a standing position and made my way to the box.

My hand rested on the door knob longer than necessary until I finally got the courage to open it and walk through it. The game was just about to start and everyone was talking and laughing, everyone except Edward. He was sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand and the phone in the other. He didn't even notice I entered the room, or at least he didn't act like he did.

"No, she's fucking here. I'm not hallucinating," he growled under his breath. He kicked back a shot of something clear and slammed the shot glass down on the countertop. "I have to get out of here, I feel like I'm going to explode." He slammed the phone shut and looked over at me. "What?" he asked in an angry tone.

I didn't answer, I just walked the rest of the way to everyone else who was laughing and having a good time. "Where have you been, we've been waiting for you," Alice snatched my hand and pulled me into the group.

"I just needed some fresh air," I replied with the smile I've gotten used to perfecting over the years. Mike gave me a look but continued on with his conversation with Jasper about the dynamics of being a psychologist to high school students. The whole game was a blur; like a cloud was looming around me and my ears muffled by cotton.

I tried not to look in his direction, anytime my eyes tried to trail across him I darted them the other way. He stayed at the bar until the game actually started and he took a seat directly behind me, two rows up.

Everyone was clapping and cheering and having a good time except me and Edward. I could feel his anger pulsating out of him and reaching out and touching me. The burning desire to be close to him was so intense I had to concentrate on not moving from my seat.

Ten years and he still has this effect on me. He was still just as gorgeous as I remember; if anything time only did him well. I couldn't see him now, but I could feel his ominous stare on my back. I was tense because of it and I prayed no one noticed. Our families didn't need to know the background we share; it would only make things awkward.

Jasper kept Mike entertained all through the first half of the game. When half time hit he turned his attention to me and I was startled by his sudden interest.

"Are you enjoying the game?" he leaned in close to me and his closeness was worse than ever before. I leaned away from him and his smile faded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I blurted. It was all I could think to say. "I feel a little nauseous."

"Oh, do you want to head back to the room until the next half?" He sounded concerned now, I must have been convincing enough.

"No, I'll be fine, I think I need some water." I stood up and passed by him as he lifted his legs and followed me with his eyes. I didn't really need water but I needed to get out of the situation I was in. I kept my eyes planted on the ground but I could see Edward's eyes following me in my periphery.

I spent the rest of half time looking at the disarray of Edward's tangled bronze hair. I remember the way he liked me to run my fingers through it when we sat together in the park. The way it felt silky smooth running between my fingers and how it would go right back to the mess it was after I twisted a strand around my finger. He was so sweet to me then, even when he was jerk to everyone else, he couldn't be mean to me. When we would argue he would cave, when we would disagree he would agree after I put up enough of a fit. He was truly one of a kind and I was molded just for him, but our chance had past; the wounds too deep to be healed completely. Open wounds only get worse if you keep messing with them; I learned that a long time ago.

There was no way I was going to give him the chance to open my wound further if he hasn't already just by the mere sight of him.

The next half came and I took my seat. Edward had moved while I was watching him from the bar and he was now sitting in the front row between Carlisle and Rose. He was smiling and laughing along with everyone else and that only added to my emotive state. He was having a good time after he broke my heart, like it didn't faze him in the least and that pissed me off more than it hurt.

Something came over me, a feeling I remember having towards Alice and Jasper, the love that they have. I couldn't quite put a name to it but if I had to call it something…I was jealous.

"What's the score again?" I asked Mike, louder than necessary.

"Oh, ah, 21 to 24 Dallas," he resisted.

"So we're down three points?"

"Yeah, but we'll get it during this half, it isn't set in stone." His attention turned back to the field that was a good 300 feet away. I realized that I hadn't seen Emmett since we arrived in Tampa so I started searching for him. I couldn't really make any of them out from where I was seated so I moved yet again to stand against the railing so I could try and spot him.

Edward noticed me right away but he kept his composure. He was good at hiding his feelings but I was just as good, if not better.

Two can play at this game.

Why Mike? Because I cannot see Jacob with Bella, it just doesn't compute with me. I can't do it, I won't I just wont. That's my little fit....feels good to get it out.

Thank you all for your reviews, I'm excited you all aren't upset about the jumping from time to time. I'm also sorry for posting this chapter so late, Sunday instead of Monday. I wen't wheelin in Brownsville, Oregon. Woke at 5:50am and got home around 5pm. It was a blast, I'll post some pics on my page soon and I'll let you all know if your interested.

Thank you Scrimmy, not just for your Beta'ing but for being so wonderful too. I will be updating Wednesday so add to your favs or how ever you do it so you don't miss it.

Sorry for the short A/N but I have got to get some sleep y'all. Thanks so much

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