A/N in the a/n after the chapter there is a teaser from the coming chapter...don't forget to check it out.

Good Luck Chuck

BPOV

Edward was staying at my apartment during his vacation. I never intended on that, I expected his vacation would be expected and he would have made other arrangements or I would have been ready for it.

I definitely wasn't ready for it, I knew because every moment I felt him near me I broke out in a sweat and my nerves went on the fritz. The butterflies that seemed to be making their way back into my stomach flapped their wings ravenously anytime he spoke. His voice was like a soft melody but strong in contrast, it flowed marvelously into my ears and it percolated into my memory where it stayed hidden until I dreamt…of him.

We spent the first weekend going back and forth to the hospital, none of us could get enough of the new addition to our families.

Ethan, they decided on and it couldn't be more fitting. Ethan Jared Cullen, Jared was Rose and Emmett's way of giving him a middle name that represented Edward and Jasper. They were both equally thrilled when they were informed; they couldn't keep the adoring smiles off their faces.

Every night Edward slept on the couch and I tried like hell to keep my hands to myself. As much as I wanted to be with Edward, to give in to the side of me that wants to take the risk, the side that knows the risk is worth whatever the outcome; I just couldn't let the walls back down for him. They seemed to stand stronger than ever during my attempts to weaken them.

Every time I had the feeling that Edward was going to touch me, just in passing, I recoiled; I dodged any attempt. When I caught glimpses of his face he was in torment. I wanted to smooth his worries, to see him smile all the time because his smile was like a beautiful original piece of art that god created himself. Of course, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

To keep my stress at bay I told myself by the end of the week things should get better, easier. I would warm up to him and he to me. Maybe we could fall right back into the connection we had when we were kids and we were close. Then I told myself that connection never dissipated, life just interfered. That interference was heavy and was going to take a lot to un-wedge but it was possible. I knew it was possible because by Wednesday we were finishing each others sentences like we did way back then, and we were laughing. I was laughing like I did back when he was always with me.

I started to feel alive again and it was all stemming from one person, Edward.

"How was your day?" Edward asked when I arrived home from work on Thursday.

"It was good, Jacob, you remember me talking about him don't you?" I asked as I took my coat off and hung it on the rack at the head of the living room.

"Yeah, of course, he's the one with the tubby fingers who wants to play the flute right? How fucking ironic." Of course his language was the same as always, it seemed to get worse the more comfortable he became. It actually made him sexier in a way, bad Edward.

I gave him a look before I headed toward the kitchen, picking up a dirty plate that was sitting on the edge of my coffee table on the way.

"Oh, hey, I can get that," he scurried off the couch and I picked up my pace to beat him to the sink.

"No, I got it," he reached for it and I snatched my hand out of his reach. He nearly tackled me before I reached the sink and he pried the plate from my straining-to-keep-their-hold-on-it fingers.

"Bella, you have got to let me clean up after myself. I'm a big boy, Esme taught me manners, especially in the presence of a lady," he smiled cheekily and dunked the plate into the sink.

"Well, this is my house and," he cut me off.

"And I'm your guest and it isn't hospitable and blah blah blah. You aren't going to win this argument so you might as well give up." He had me cornered against the counter top, not in a menacing way; more playful than anything.

"I win every argument in my house, all I have to do is show you the door," I teased.

"Well in that case," he reached around me and grabbed the plate out of the sink sopping wet and handed it to me. "You win," he turned and walked back into the front room leaving me standing there in shock.

I cleaned up the kitchen with Edward's help, he appeared back in the kitchen once I started the dishes; I washed and he rinsed. We made dinner together, him watching while I cooked and told him about the drama that goes on at work.

He looked unusually interested in what I had to say, like he was listening intently, taking in every word. I couldn't complain; he was always a good listener, nothing got passed him. It took me back to a time I don't much like to think about, the first time someone came and wanted to adopt Edward.

It had been a little over six months and we were sitting on the couch where we first met, both of us with one ear bud in. We were listening to Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden; I remember it because that's how I was back then. I held on to the little things that were good, the little things that revolved around the big bad things.

Jennifer, the staff on duty that day, came in with a man and a woman. They looked straight at Edward and Jennifer started talking. I had to pull my ear bud out to hear what she was saying and the moment I did I wished I hadn't.

"This is Edward Masen, he's been here about seven months." She was giving them the run down of Edward's record and his personality. It was like shopping for a puppy; totally ridiculous the way that place worked now that I look back on it, even though I knew it then.

When I looked at Edward with the fear in my eyes, the first time I felt the tearing at my heart, he was furious. He leapt off the couch and that's when it started.

"What the fuck Jenn, Bella and I were busy can't you see that. Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Potato head," they did resemble the famous couple, "But could you please come back another time."

The woman was shell shocked but not as much as her husband, he was infuriated. "This is the kind of kids you keep at this establishment? You should be ashamed of yourself; this boy is troubled and a nuisance."

"Who the hell are you to put any kind of assumptions on me, you don't fucking know me." Edward's anger only intensified from there.

Later that night he snuck into the girls portion of the building and we snuck out to the park that we'd gone to for privacy because it was located right next to the group home.

"That was close huh," he joked and I practically went into shut down mode.

"Edward, it's inevitable, eventually one of us is going to get adopted. What are we going to do when that happens?" I was scared and frightened. Scared that I would lose him, that he would be taken out of my life never to be seen again. I was frightened because of what I would have to endure when it happened.

That was the first moment I knew that life was only going to get a lot more complicated before it got better.

"I'm not going to let it happen Bells, look at me." My tear stained eyes were conflicted, I was falling back into my pit of despair and the walls were slowly being put up one brick at a time. "We have a connection that's stronger than time, wider than fucking space and tougher than love; nothing can or ever will change that." He crushed me to him and the sobs started to pour out of me.

I almost told Edward I loved him that night. Our relationship was strictly platonic, neither of us ever tried to change that. I wasn't sure and still am not sure if he felt the same way as I did, but now, in this time of our lives he sure acts like he does.

Thursday night I took Edward with me to the track. He wanted to race me, I in the Acura and he in his Nissan. I didn't have a problem with that but I warned him that he was traveling on dangerous ground.

"You won't beat me," he bragged on our way there. "I am the master of disaster. I will serve you your own ass on a platter Swan." I just laughed.

"We'll see."

Darrell was already there, as he always was and the Acura was sitting pretty right next to the track. Edward had to register his car with the track leaders and I had to get prepared. "Hey Darrell, how's the Cura?" I asked.

"Hey Bella, she's running great, ready for you to take her out for a spin." He handed me the helmet and I threw it on without hesitation. Something about sharing this part of my life with Edward felt huge. Track racing has been my copping mechanism for so many years; something I've done alone just for me. Now I was inviting Edward to come along.

I felt a hand touch the top of my helmet and I spun around only to see Edward looking me up and down. "The helmet suits you," he chuckled.

"Darrell, this is Edward, he thinks he can beat me in a race in his 240. What do you think?" I joked.

"It's nice knowing you Edward," was all he said. Darrell has been very good to me since I started coming here. I thought on a few occasion that he might have some kind of thing for me but thankfully he never proved me right. He threw Edward a helmet and we both got into our cars. I smiled widely at him because he has no idea what he's up against. This has been my rehab for so long now, it was almost second nature.

The lights started to turn and I could feel the torch under my foot, begging to be put to use. I was definitely going to oblige. Yellow, yellow, yellow...Green. My foot slammed to the gas and my other foot lingered on the clutch only for a moment, just for visual effects. The tires screamed and smoke bellowed out from under them. I released the clutch and I was gone.

Edward was a few seconds in front of me but I was pretty sure I was going to take him. I shifted into second, the shrill sound from the engine only egging me on…third. I had him, my front end was even with his passenger side door.

I kept in third a little longer than I normally would have, but the situation called for it. The moment I shifted to fourth the car flew passed his and we crossed the finish line. I hooted and hollered to myself in the car as I slowed to a safe u-turning speed and made my way back to the starting line. Edward was already there, leaning against his car and holding his helmet at his side.

As I got out of the car he sat his helmet down and came over to me. He assisted me in climbing the rest of the way out the window and I smiled proudly up at him when I hopped onto the ground. "Who won," I acted like I didn't know.

"Rub it in much," he joked and unbuckled the buckle under my chin. He pulled my helmet off and had an adoring look on his features. "You are the master," he commented smiling back down at me. I got lost in the emerald sea of his eyes momentarily until Darrell broke my trance.

"Should we get you two a room or are you ready for another go?" I looked away before I blushed and shot a few daggers at Darrell. Was it that obvious?

"I'm down," Edward said from beside me.

"Bring it on Cullen," I said, copying his early name for me.

Friday night when I got home, Edward was in a chipper mood. "Finally, my god Bella, how long does it take for you to drive from one end of town to the other?" He smiled widely at his joke and I feigned being offended.

"Excuse me for working and breathing."

"Alice called," he paused.

"And," I pushed because I knew what he was looking for.

"She wants us to go out with her and Jasper tonight."

Oh he was in for a rude awakening. "I don't go out Edward, but you can definitely go and have a good time; you should," I added.

"I plan on it, and I plan on enjoying the evening with you," he reached my side then and I watched his hand as he reached and obtained my own. "Please will you go to a trashy bar with me?"

I laughed, "You're really asking me in a such a way to go to some hole in the wall scrub factory. I will literally have to come straight home and scrub the diseases off of me."

"I will protect you," he pushed his chest out and did a superman pose, "I will be your antibacterial defender," he proclaimed.

"Well who could refuse that; you're so scary," I joked and headed down the hall.

"Is that a maybe?" he called after me.

"It's a yes, I'll be ready by six." I shut the door behind me and took a deep breath. I don't go out much but I wanted to spend the last couple of nights with Edward in any kind of scene I could. I needed to see who he really was, not the cooped up in my apartment version. I needed to see him from all sides and an intoxicated Edward was sure to be the worst form of Edward if there were to be such a thing. I wasn't exactly looking forward to being in a bar surrounded by people, but I couldn't pass up the prime opportunity.

Alice and Jasper arrived right around six and we walked the seven blocks to the nearest dive bar talking and chatting the whole way. I wouldn't necessarily say it was packed when we arrived but there were enough people to make me uncomfortable in my skin.

We walked to the bar and took up four seats right in a row. "So what are we having first?" Alice sounded so proper and out of place.

"I'm leaning towards a shot," Edward replied. Yeah, this was definitely Edward's scene.

EPOV

Bella's attitude toward me was up and down, one minute she would be looking at me and I couldn't feel her emotions radiating off of her and then, other times, her eyes were totally blank. It took me a day or two to figure out why.

It was the walls.

They were up but I could see their weakness. They were crumbling and all I had to do was be patient. I could do that. I'd done it once before and I could sure as fuck do it again. So that's exactly what I did. I didn't push her to show affection, I didn't ask for hugs or to try and hold a conversation. I basically let her run that shit, don't speak unless spoken to. That was until Wednesday, the first sign of progress; or I guess in this situation, technically it would be relapsing.

Bella came home from work in a good mood, she was going on and on about this student of hers named…Jacob if I remember correctly. How he was trying so hard to play the flute but his fingers were always managing to get in the way. "Short tubby fingers" is what she called them. She smiled and tried to take it back and rephrase it but I wouldn't let her.

"Oh no, you already said it, no taking it back now."

"That isn't fair," she practically whined, "I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I meant he has short round fingers," she laughed, a hysterical laugh that caused my heart to skip a beat. It was the laugh I used to bring out in her; the walls were falling under my persuasion.

"Well I can't wait to meet this Jacob and shake his tubby hand," I joked and she shot daggers at me with her menacing stare. I thought maybe I mentally spoke too soon, maybe this was just another day when she goes bipolar on me.

"What makes you think you're going to meet him?" Oops.

"Well, I um, I don't know. Spur of the moment response I guess."

She looked down reluctantly at her feet and it was probably the sweetest thing I would ever see. Her foot traced little circles in the carpet as she spoke, "I asked because there is a school production coming up and you're are more than welcome to come if you're around or want to make the drive." She was inviting me to a function that wasn't anything to do with our families, it had everything to do with her and her achievements. I would be nowhere else on the Saturday before Spring break. "For whatever reason," she added.

"I'd love to go," I replied with fervor. "Hey, maybe I can come in and show the kids a thing or two." Why not show off my talents a little, if not, why even have them in the first place.

"Oh yeah? And what can you show them?" she smiled widely; she thought she had me. "Did you keep up on the piano like I always told you to?"

I shook my head, "Yeah, I actually finished writing that song I started and I've played it every time I had a gig. It's always a hit." I decided not to give her the name of it just yet; that could wait.

"How did it go?" She started humming it softly but it was off beat.

"You're close, I'm surprised you remember it that much," I hummed the tune and watched her eyes light up.

"I knew you were there, I knew it was you," she accused.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Rose's dance dinner…thing," she was animated, using her hands to emphasis her emotions.

"You were there?" I played stupid. How would I explain my knowing she was there, feeling she was there.

Thursday night when Bella got home from work she told me about her going to the track. I asked if I could go and told her that I could beat her in a race but she thought differently. "You wish. I will leave you in the dust." She said as she got ready to go.

"If I can go with you we can see about that," I invited myself.

"Okay, but no dirty stuff. We race fair here at the Peninsula," she informed me and I laughed that she thought I would have to cheat to beat her. I really wasn't sure that I could but I was betting on the inevitable competitive nature that most people possess. I just wanted to be with her, not sitting at her house alone. I do enough of that during the day while she's at work.

She whooped my ass, just like she said she would and she did it three times in a row. I was always under the impression that third time's a charm. It was the exact opposite of that. I missed third gear and she smoked me, leaving me in her dust just like she anticipated.

Friday came all too soon and I talked Bella into going out with Jasper and Alice. I wanted to get her out of the house, watch her loosen up and have a good time. I couldn't believe she agreed but I think my sense of humor coaxed her into it.

I bought everyone a round of shots when we first got to the bar, patron, one of my many favorites and apparently Bella's, too. She took it like a champ and without a chaser. My kind of girl, I thought. In every aspect, Bella is right for me. I bought another round and then Jasper insisted on buying us all long Island's.

"Okay, next," Bella called for the bartender, "Can we get another round please." So proper, the guy didn't even hear her.

"Hey, another round," that got his attention. Bella looked at me grateful and I smiled my crooked smile. I'd been saving it, I only ever wanted to show it to her, save for only her eyes to see. I know what it can do; I'm not completely oblivious to the people around me.

I saw the scarlet flush her face before her eyes fell to the bar top and her head followed. The bartender brought us each another shot of patron, this time we made a toast. "To memories," I proclaimed.

"To memories," Bella agreed and I think that might have been the turning point. Alice drug Bella off to the restroom after our fourth round and Jasper and I had another during their absence. I started to wonder what was taking them so long after 15 minutes passed. I started to look around and that's when I saw the root of their tardiness.

One was Mike, Bella's ex, he had her cornered and was rubbing up on her. My nostrils flared and I was off the seat and pushing my way through the crowd in the same moment.

The mother fucker that had Alice cornered was in for one hell of a headache in the morning and I wasn't talking about the hangover he was sure to have. Jasper didn't go to martial arts school for six years for nothing and he was right at my flanks. We burst out of the little crowd that was dividing us then and Mike's back was to me, even better, I thought menacingly.

I lost track of Jasper when I grabbed a handful of the back of Mike's shirt and pulled him off of a shaking and scared Bella. The look in her eyes was pure fright and Mike was gaining his balance.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled, still swaying from being intoxicated.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, putting your fucking hands on her?" I was not afraid of Mike, I was right up in his face and he was falling back with every step I got closer.

"Whatever I want, she wasn't complaining." His breath reeked of alcohol and his words came out almost inaudible

"You call her withering in fright and pushing you away not complaining." It was taking all of my will not to take that mother fucker out. His cropped hair and out of order facial structure was asking for a makeover and I was so fucking ready to oblige.

I saw out of my periphery, the man that put his hands on Alice, taking a swing at Jasper and Jasper totally dodging it. I turned my full attention to him and when I did I was sucker punched right in the cheek bone and most of my right eye. It stung, but only added to my fury. My fist went back and then forward packing a lot of force. One hit and Mike was out cold. Jasper did some weird jujitsu shit and we were out of there, Bella and Alice in hand.

We continued down the sidewalk and I had no intentions of stopping until we got back to Bella's. I wanted the safety of her domain, so much progress could very well be lost and all because of that douche Mike.

"Edward, slow down," Bella called from behind me, her hand in mine. I didn't realize I was walking so fast she was having to run to keep up. I slowed my steps but didn't stop; Bella's place was only four more blocks away.

"Bella…are you okay?" She was walking beside me now, I could see her face and she looked to be fine, a little shaken maybe.

"I'm fine, are you okay?" Her words were slurred and cute in a because-its-her fashion.

"I'm good, pissed the fuck off, but better now that we're almost home." I didn't correct myself because it wasn't necessary. If she wanted to then so be it.

She didn't.

"Bro, we're going to head home, I'll give you call in the morning." Jasper's car was parked two blocks from Bella's and we reached it before the apartment.

"Okay, be safe man, and way to protect your woman, that was sick what you did."

"Yeah, anything for my pixie." He swept her up into his arms and carried her, the remaining 10 or so steps, to their car.

Bella and I continued to her apartment in silence. She couldn't manage to get the key into the keyhole so I assisted her. The moment we were inside Bella laid straight down on the floor in the hall, he cheek pressed hard against the cold wooden floor.

"Bella sweetie, you can't lay on the floor," she groaned and wouldn't let me help her up. I slid my arms under her and lifted her to me, carrying her towards her room.

"No," she cried, "I want to sleep on the couch..." Her arms wrapped around my neck, "With you."

"No you don't, there isn't much room and besides, you're drunk or at least feeling it pretty good right now and you'd probably regret it in the morning."

She shook her head energetically. "No, I am not drunk and no I will not regret it." I laid her down on her bed and she pulled me down with her. I may have let her do it though.

"Bella, this isn't a good idea. I should go to the couch." She had a death grip on me and I wasn't getting out of it unless she let me.

"No, stay with me until I fall asleep," she nuzzled closer to me, pushing me back so my back was to the headboard. Her right leg came over and rested right on my middle and her head laid on my chest. "I can hear your heart beat," she cooed and tapped my chest with the tips of her fingers; thump thump thump thump. It was definitely irregular.

"Shh." I started rubbing the top of her head, her arm, her neck, her sides; all to get her to loosen up and fall out.

"Don't shush me Edward," her voice was lame and her hand came up in a frail attempt at smacking me….and then she was out.

I crawled out from under her and covered her up with her blanket. I got out to the couch and plopped down on it, the night running through my head. Then my face started to hurt. I leaned forward over the coffee table and put my face in my hands. I didn't move from that position until I was startled out of an almost asleep like state by a hand coming to rest on my shoulder blade.

"What are you doing up?" I asked groggily having to clear my throat to get my voice back entirely.

She didn't say anything but climbed into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck once again. "Let's go to bed."

"Bella," she stopped me before I could continue.

"Yeah, yeah let's go to bed. That's what I'm trying to say, take me to bed."

"I don't think you'll be happy if you wake up next to me in your bed." I held her close to me because there was nowhere else I wanted to be then here in her embrace. "You aren't in the right state of mind to make those kinds of decisions." I still got up and headed to her room, if anything I needed to get her to bed.

Right as we were about to pass the bathroom her hand shot out and caught the door frame and stopped me in my tracks. "Go," she ordered and I did as I was told. She flipped the switch on after three tries. "Set me down," she was a bossy drunk.

She turned slightly to rummage through the cupboard and brought out the peroxide. "You're bleeding," she said before she dumped a larger amount of the peroxide than necessary onto a few squares of toilet paper. "Come here," she beckoned me with her index finger; biting her bottom lip in concentration.

I moved closer to her, so close that I felt her warmth all around me. She took my chin in her soft hands and tilted my head so she could reach the cut on my cheek bone. "This may hurt a little."

She gingerly pressed the paper to my skin, her eyes squinting before each application; as if she were going to feel my pain herself. It stung slightly, but I was mesmerized by Bella's pureness, she was good through and through. She deserved someone that would treat her right and hold here on the pedestal she deserved to be on. I wanted to be the person to do it because I already had the pedestal; I just needed her to hop aboard.

After she was done with the peroxide she leaned on the tips of her toes and blew lightly on the now clean area. I don't know if she knew she was doing it but damn Bella knew how to get a guys blood pumping.

"There," she smiled and looked at me as if I was going to give her a treat. I didn't have anything to give her except compassion, so I did. My eyes closed as I inched nearer to her, tilting my head just so to move in at just the right angle. I saw her eyes close too and just before I reached her, her body bowed over and she darted for the toilet.

Bella spent the next few hours lying on the bathroom floor. I brought her a pillow and her blanket. I removed her shoes and got a wet wash cloth, cold, to put over her face. Eventually I ended up with her head in my lap as my back rested against the tub and I ran my fingers through her hair.

She stilled for a while but eventually a time would come when she would start moaning lightly. Her lips would start to quiver and then she would reach for the toilet and pull herself up before releasing the poison that was inside her. I helped her up each time and rubbed her back while holding her hair out of her face. My stomach was fine, I never got drunk, just a buzz so lucky for her I was more than willing to take care of her. I'd do it every day if it meant I could be with her.

I'm sure I wouldn't have too, she doesn't seem to drink that often; especially if four shots would do this to her.

BPOV

I woke up, my head in Edward's lap and it took me a moment, until my vision cleared, to realize we were in the bathroom. Edward was propped up against the tub, his head resting on a towel lying over the side of it. His hand was wrapped protectively around the back of my head and his fingers were intertwined with the strands of my hair.

My mouth was dry and tasted like the worst kind of morning breath imaginable, like I ate five spiders in my sleep. I needed water. My eyes searched the room until I spotted a glass next to the toilet, it was half full of water. I reached my arm out for it but came up short. I wiggled my fingers like it would make a difference, and of course it did not.

The moment I moved my head in the slightest Edward woke up and was in a panic. "Whoa, whoa, are you okay, let me help you." He was so in tuned with me it was unreal. "You want some water?" he reached out for it and gave it to me. I accepted it and drank it down, two gulps.

"Thank you," my voice sounded harsh, my throat felt raw.

"You're feeling better," he noted, "Thank god. You were starting to scare me there." He smiled groggily at me and leaned his head back down on the tub.

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Sure," he responded almost robot like.

"Will you take me to bed? I don't want to walk but I don't want to be on this hard floor anymore, it's hurting my back."

He started to move right away, "Sure yeah, let me get up…" he was talking to himself while he moved… "And then I'll pick you up," he did as he said.

He carried me to the hall and to my room with my arms wrapped around him and my head leaning against his chest. He was warm, I didn't want to let go but when he laid me down he stayed standing. He tucked me in and stood there for a second observing my surroundings, "Edward."

"Yeah," he was winded, probably exhausted from the position he was in while he was sleeping. I tried to remember how we got that way and the last thing I could really remember was cleaning the cut on his cheek. Then little pieces of the rest of the night came back to me and I realized Edward had taken care of me. He stayed by my side, even held my hair for me.

"Will you lay with me please, I'm cold." I didn't want to sound desperate, but in that moment I really was. I was ready to say anything to get him in my bed.

"Only if you want me to, I don't want you to be uncomfortable for my sake." Always assuming the best of me, little did he know I wasn't thinking about his benefit; I was thinking of my own.

"You're warm and I can't sleep when I'm cold," I fake shivered and decided I wouldn't do it again because it made me feel nauseous again.

He walked around my bed and I felt him crawl onto it and then he laid up against me. I laid there for a moment waiting for him to wrap his arm around me or get under the covers, both of which I wanted him to do.

He didn't.

He just laid there.

So I started wiggling my way out of the covers, slow as to not cause any more upchuck reflexes, and threw them behind me to include him under them. His arm mechanically started to drop over me and then he pulled it back.

"Shit, sorry," he said nervously.

"No…" I reached over with the arm I wasn't laying on and tried to grab for his arm but I couldn't feel it. He must have put it in my line of reach because suddenly it was there and I pulled him over me, totally succumbed to his embrace.

I felt his breath on the back of my neck and it sent shivers down my back and caused my skin to raise. I pushed myself across the bed up against his chest and marveled in the feel of him. He was strong and smelled so good; I'd never experienced such a thing. Nothing could compare to the way I felt when I was in his arms. No other man has brought this out in me, not even Mike and he was the one to deflower me.

I wished I could take it back.

"Bella," he whispered, "You know this is killing me right?"

I played stupid but I knew exactly what he was talking about. "What?"

"Don't play stupid with me, you know what I'm talking about. Being with you like this," he took a deep breath and sat up, leaning on his forearm. "This whole week has been the best time I've had in years. It just fucking sucks thinking I'm the only one that feels that way."

I thought back over the week that has now pretty much passed. Coming home to someone was nice; I hadn't realized how lonely I really was until now. The conversations were refreshing and the cooking was a great change. I'd missed cooking, since Alice moved out I only made small things; I love to cook. Edward seemed to enjoy my cooking, he inhaled everything I made and never once had a complaint.

Once he said I was going to spoil him and when he went home it was going to be torture on his taste buds. I smiled at the memory of how ecstatic I was that he liked it that much. I laughed a lot, he laughed with me, we joked around, and we were quiet together, watched TV and movies together. The last week really had been the best time of my life, and it was almost over.

I rolled over to face him, worried that my breath smelled as bad as it tasted but too overcome with emotion to care about it. His arm stayed draped over me and before he could say anything, do anything or even comprehend what I was doing; I kissed him.

Something struck my memory cord as soon as our lips touched; Edward had tried to kiss me last night after I bandaged him up. I was going to make up for that and show my appreciation for what he did for me.

I felt his tongue flirting at my lips and I pushed mine hard against his as our tongues caressed one another. His arm constricted around me crushing me almost too close to him and I knew right then and there that it would never be close enough. I didn't care anymore about the 10 years that just passed; I didn't care that I couldn't see the future and know that he would never leave because he didn't leave of his own accord in the first place. He had come back for me, we had broken each other's hearts equally and now it was time to mend them together.

All of my thoughts and emotions, happy, sad and excited, poured into the kiss. It wasn't rushed, it was soft and sexual, just as I pictured it would be. I'd never kissed Edward, even during our beginning years which were strictly platonic. I'd be lying if I said I never wanted to be more than that, for it to have been like this. I thank god it wasn't though, because I don't think I would have survived the separation, I would have lost my sanity a long time ago.

The kiss went on until it became light pecks and smiles between us. Eventually I just lay in his arms, dying to know what he was thinking.

He shifted beside me and I could hear his intake of breath, "So am I supposed to interpret that to be your answer to my unspoken question?"

I laughed, "Am I supposed to understand that question?" I teased.

"I'm going to miss you when I leave; it's going to almost literally kill me to be away from you." It was going to kill me just the same; just thinking about it made my heart beat fast. One more day is all we had left.

"I don't want to think about that…" I paused, wanting desperately something else to talk about, "What are we going to do today?"

"It wouldn't bother me a fucking bit if we stayed right here." He cuddled closer to me and nuzzled his face into my hair. "You smell so good," he exhaled heavily.

We stayed in the bed and I eventually fell asleep in Edward's arms. When I woke up he was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful and content I couldn't look away. A smile started on my lips and I couldn't believe all of this was happening.

Fate definitely had her hand in this. So many times we were put in each other's paths. If we weren't so blind and so troubled by our pasts maybe we would have paid closer attention and could have been happy sooner. None of that mattered now, it was all in the past, all said and done; never to be relived.

Life was looking up.

Mike got knocked the fuck out....love it...because I really dislike him. So Bella and Edward had their first kiss..ever! It wasn't anything special because Bella's heart and emotions are fighting against one another. She knows she loves Edward, she knows she wants Edward, but she doesn't know that Edward loves and wants her. She has been let down her whole life and people in and out of her life during the growing stages so her mind is molded to think that's how life works. I promise she will come around, and soon.

Jasper knows jujitsu haha I love that. I had to do it, Jasper being a war soldier and all, at least in his past life. Also, I was wondering how many of you have noticed that the titles to all of my chapters are romance movie titles? Haha, I'm sure most of you noticed, I thought it would be kind of fun. At first I tried to find titles that had a little bit to do with the chapters but it wasn't working out like I'd hoped. So now it's just movie titles at random. All of which are really good...(I haven't seen Remember Me yet so that one I'm not sure about) I don't know if I'll be able to see it because it is so weird seeing [Edward] kiss another girl. It was hard for me to watch Adventureland haha that was a funny movie though. I think the only reason I will go and see Remember Me is to see the Eclipse trailer. It is so crazy how you can't find anything about Eclipse online but when it was New Moon I basically saw the movie before it came out there were so many clips and pics.

Okay enough babbling.

Thank you so much for your reviews and I hope you continue to do so. I will be updating Friday this week and possibly Sunday, depends on how many people are antsy for the next update. Here is a little teaser from the next chapter.

I didn't take my time, I ran like a wild woman down the sidewalks. The street lights lit my way as the rain tried to blind me. I didn't let that slow me down, through blurry vision and deep breaths I pushed forward.

I came around the corner that was just before his apartment and was astounded at what met me on the other side.

He stood there motionless, his white shirt sticking to his chest and arms from the rain. His hair was disheveled and hanging in front of his eyes. His mouth formed a small o probably mirroring my own expression.

We stood there locked and lost in each other's eyes. The humming sensation grew stronger and stronger until I think he couldn't handle it anymore. He reached out to me, his eyes never leaving mine, "Come inside?" he asked, his hand out stretched in front of him, offering for me to take it.

Without leaving the solace of his stare I put my hand in his without a second thought. I know now where I want to be and that is in the arms of the strong, beautiful caring man pulling me to shelter.

As soon as we were under the awning of the door I pulled back on his hand and he turned to look at me, confusion and enthrallment clear on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but my lips shushed him as they met his. I was sick of thinking about kissing him; I wanted to do it and mean it and do it whenever I wanted to. So I did it now; urgently at first because I couldn't and wouldn't wait any longer and, after a few minutes, it was languid and seductive.

Next chapter will be a good one, I promise but it isn't the end of the story, not even close. I am thinking there will be close to 30 chapters, don't hold me to that though, it's just an estimate.

Thank you Scrimmy, who is know addicted to the fanfic Wide Awake written by AngstGoddess003...I knew you would be! I told you so, I told you so, haha. If you haven't checked it out I highly suggest that you do. One of the best I have read. It is listed on my favs but I also suggest you go to AG's page and click on her LJ link because it is uncensored there. It's rated M for very detailed lemons and language....lemony goodness with my fav version of Edward....Darkward.

Leave me sum love....lil' button just below

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