Remus, Tonks, and Sirius do not live in my head :P

This story takes place earlier than all my other ones, just a little note :)

Tonks always loved volunteering during Christmastime. It made her happy, seeing the smiles on the patient's in St. Mungo's. She signed up at the Auror's office, to be randomly assigned a ward at the hospital. It was the first Christmas that she had joined the Order when she was assigned to the incurable wing. She walked to each room on Christmas morning, placing a wreath on the door, or a Christmas ball in the doorway. She was almost done when she reached a closed door, knocking on it to see if there was a visitor to open it.

"I'll be just a min-oh, uh Nymphadora, what are you doing here?"

Tonks was about to correct him when she noticed the older woman who resembled Remus with a blank look in her eyes in the bed behind him, "I, uh, was just going to drop off a wreath." She hung it up on the door and added a cherry 'Happy Christmas!' aimed at both of them. She walked away and felt Remus' eyes trained on her with each step she took.

"So who is she?"

Sirius looked up at his younger cousin, "Who?"

"The woman Remus visited this morning."

"Oh, her."

"Sirius! Who is she?"

Sirius sighed and sat at the table, "His mother."

Tonks sat next to him, her eyes filled with worry, "Wha-What happened to her?"

"You know the Longbottom's?" He paused waiting for recognition to spark in her eyes. When she nodded he continued, "She, like them, was tortured to madness. Now, Mrs. Lupin was already a bit loopy, she wasn't quite right after Remus was bitten...but the curse, it pushed her over the edge. Well, we think it did, we know the Death Eaters killed his father, maybe watching him die caused her to go mad, I'm not sure. If Remus, is, he'll probably never tell me. Poor Moony, it him hit pretty hard. He's been visiting her every Christmas since, I've never seen him miss it."

Tonks stared straight ahead, "Poor Remus, he never gets a break does he?"

"Well, no, he um...do you have a crush on ol'Moony, Tonks?

She reddened, "What! N-no..."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and bellowed, "Oh my, Moony's finally gotten someone to fall for him! My cousin too! Have you two snogged yet?"

"Sirius! I don't-I don't think he thinks of me in his league."

"Oh Tonks, I'm sure he likes you, he probably thinks that same thing about you. Remus thinks of himself as...undeserving."

"But he is deserving! He's such a kind, good man, how could anyone...how long has he held a job?"

Her cousin shrugged, "Not long, at least when I was free he had one months at a time, until they got fed up with him missing work once a month. James had been supporting him for a while before he died. I don't know how he got along after they died. My advice, however, is don't bring up seeing him at Mungo's. Its a sore subject for him, let him bring her up on his own accord."

Tonks nodded, and she waited. Weeks past and he said nothing about it, both of them acting as if nothing had happened on Christmas. Then one morning Sirius apparated, unwelcome, into her bedroom at Grimmauld Place. "Sirius! Merlin's beard! How were you sure I was decent?"

"Oh, well since we're related, its not perverted."

Tonks groaned, "What do you want, Sirius?"

"I think Remus needs you...he got a letter this morning, and he hasn't moved from the stairs since."

"Oh Sirius, I don't think he-"

"Look, you and Remus love each other, and much more than sibling love. I see it every time you look at the other. Neither of you may realize it yet, but it's true. And...I think you're the only one Remus will talk to right now."

Tonks sighed and rose out of bed, "I never knew you were a softie, Sirius."

"Well...um, seeing Moony like this makes me think this is how he was after James and Lily died and I was carted off to Azkaban. I don't like him feeling hopeless...talk to him, Tonks, please?"

She nodded, "Nowleave so I can dress in peace."

Tonks walked gently down the stairs, spotting Remus sitting on the landing, head in hands, a letter beside him. She quietly sat down next to him.

"I'm the reason my mother went crazy," he said, not looking up. "After I was bitten she went mad with worry, mad with anger, and mad with sadness. She became obsessed with finding a cure for me, and having my father killed in front of her eyes pushed her over the edge. Order members found her sitting in a corner, eyes blank, my father's body yards away. They would've thought she killed him herself if it wasn't for the Dark Mark above the house." He took a shaky breath before continuing, "I tried to visit her every Christmas, but it was useless. Towards the end she didn't even know it was me. She hadn't looked at me and cried 'My son's a monster' in years!" he added hysterically. Remus looked up at Tonks and his dark, sad eyes met her teary ones for a moment before he dropped his head again. "At least she died in a blissful world inside her head. A world without Voldemort, a world without werewolves. For those first nine years of my life, I'm sure she loved me, but all those years after I was bitten, she found it very hard. And of course, right before she died, I doubt she even knew who I was."

Tonks had trouble finding the right words to comfort Remus with. She simply decided that her actions would make the difference. Taking his hand, and laying her head on his shoulder, she sat there with him as the tears silently fell down his scarred face.