18. As Good as it Gets

BPOV

Edward stayed at my apartment all week, he didn't have a job to tie him to Portland anymore but I had to work. Twice, Edward had dinner ready for me when I got home. He's a good cook, when it comes to traditional things. I found out later that Alice had come over and "assisted" him with the meals both times.

I didn't tell him I knew because he looked so pleased to be doing it for me; I couldn't take that from him.

The days with him were amazing; his persona was so easy to relax with. His presence just made me feel like I had a purpose, like everything I have done that's led me to this place was all for something. The nights with him were mind blowing, utterly fan-fucking-tastic. If I were more open-minded and talked like Alice and Rose do I would be one of those women saying how extremely satisfying sex can be. But I'm not, so I kept all that to myself which was much more gratifying.

Saturday morning I woke up from a long and tiresome night with Edward that I would do again and again in a heartbeat. I was exhausted, as if I hadn't just slept 9 hours. Edward was already awake and I could smell something burning from the kitchen. I got up groggily and threw my robe on that was hanging on the bedside post. I padded my way down the hallway and into the living room where I could see smoke bellowing out from the kitchen. It was coming out in waves.

My pace quickened and when I stood in front of the kitchen the sight I saw was hilarious, even in the moment. Edward was still in his boxers and was wearing my apron tied in a neat big bow in the back. I probably couldn't have done one better. He was standing at the stove; hastily trying to save whatever it was that was smoking up my apartment.

After I had enough of that I plunged into the heap of smoke and stood next to him, he looked up at me apologetically and I had to smile. "I don't know what I'm doing?" He exclaimed with a light nervous laugh.

I reached over him and grabbed the pot that was producing the smoke and lifted it off the burner. I ran over to the window, opened it and held it out to let it cool off. The smoke that was already floating around the apartment came out in a rush and you could plainly see it in the air just outside.

I looked over my shoulder at him and he looked solemn. "It's okay Edward; it's not a big deal." I tried to comfort him but it was still really comical in my mind.

"I was trying to make you breakfast," he replied gently.

"I think we should stick to that being my job," this time I smiled apologetically. I didn't want to seem rude or callous but I didn't want to burn down any apartment buildings either.

His expression changed, like a child being coaxed into telling the truth. "I have a confession to make," he smiled.

I smiled back.

"I didn't make those dinners for you, well, I helped but mostly it was Alice."

The pan wasn't smoking anymore so I brought it in and sat it on a burner that hadn't been used. I decided to keep the fact that I already knew to myself.

"Edward." I stood in front of him and looked up into his eyes, "I love to cook," I said seriously. "I don't mind doing it and I especially like to cook when there is someone else to cook for other than myself. Let me do the cooking okay?" I laughed and he laughed with me.

"Not a problem." He held up his right hand, "I vow to never touch the stove again unless I'm told to."

"Perfect." I wrapped my arms around him and was reminded that he didn't have any clothes on. "By the way, you look hot."

He leaned away from me—not breaking our connection—and smiled his sexy crooked smile. "You like?"

I laughed again, shaking my head, "Yeah."

Sunday morning was the same thing, exhausted and ready to go back to sleep. I didn't though, today Edward was going back to Portland to tie up any loose ends, grab some things and say goodbye to his friends. He wouldn't return until next weekend. It was just the beginning of our time together and I already don't want to go one minute without him; especially not a night without him.

Alice had called last night and cancelled our Saturday get together and did a rain check for Sunday; today. After I made an edible breakfast and Edward and I took a long shower, we headed over there and arrived just as Rose, Emmett and Ethan did.

Rose looked good for just having a baby three weeks ago. Some women have the hardest time getting their figure back; not Rose though. It wasn't the nicest of days but we sat out on the balcony of Alice and Jasper's home anyway. Ethan was nestled into a swing just inside the sliding glass door. Rose refused to bring him out in the cold longer than a few minutes. It really wasn't that cold but I didn't blame her for being cautious.

The boys had gone out to the field that was behind the house and they were throwing around a football. Of course, Emmett plays football, why wouldn't they do it.

"So how's mother hood treating you," Alice asked. She always asked. I think secretly she wanted a baby too. I don't know why they didn't try; they've been together for ages now, just as long as Rose and Emmett.

"It's good, wonderful actually. Ethan is such a good baby he even sleeps through the night." Rose was beaming as she spoke of her son. She was a whole new woman.

She turned to Alice, pointing the audience at her. "What about you Alice, when are you getting hitched?"

She smiled shyly, "We're not quite there yet. But almost."

"What the hell is the hold up? Does Jasper have something against marriage?" Rose saw no other explanation. If they didn't agree then something had to be wrong with one of them. That definitely hasn't changed about Rose.

"Jasper is afraid of marriage; he thinks it will ruin what we have. He said his parents were so in love until they got married. That's when they handed him over to Carlisle and Esme and went their separate ways." I was in awe.

"How old was he?" I asked. The story sounded so familiar.

"Six or seven I can't remember exactly, but they used to always yell at each other and talk about how marriage ruined their lives and that they wished they never did it. I don't know if we'll ever reach that point."

"I think he'll come around Alice," I rested my hand on her shoulder and she leaned against mine.

"I hope so."

"What's going on over here?" Edward approached and came around to kiss me on the cheek. He was sweaty and panting, just like I like him.

"We were having a girls only conversation," Rose informed him. "Until you came and rudely interrupted."

"Rose," I shot her a disapproving look.

"What, he knows I'm kidding…don't you Edward?"

He shook his head looking down at me, "She's just a bitch, I'm used to it." He ducked as soon as the cup went flying out of Rose's hand and it flew over him. "Good arm, has Emmett been giving you lessons?" he joked.

"Ehh, Edward..." Of course Rose would call on her teddy bear of a husband to do her dirty work. "Emmmm!" She yelled over her shoulder. He ran through the yard and up the stairs, he had a worried look on his face until he saw us all smiling.

"What? What's up?" he looked around at all of us.

"Your dear brother called me a bitch," she snooted, "What are you going to do about it?" She questioned him.

"Which one?" he held out his hands gesturing toward Edward, he had an exasperated look on his face.

"The only one that's here, doofus," she teased. He looked at Edward with a wide grin.

"You call my woman a bitch?" he said walking toward him. "Huh, Cullen?"

Edward put his hands up in a defending manner, "Hey in my defense, she actually is a bitch."

"Emmett," Rose faux cried from the seat next to me.

*******************

We barbequed hamburgers and hotdogs and chatted the whole day away: The perfect Sunday. Alice pulled me and Rose to the side while the boys cleaned up the grill and picked up the garbage. It was sweet of them.

"What's this about Ali?" Rose questioned looking back toward the balcony; I assumed trying to see Ethan in his swing through the door.

"I think I'm pregnant," she blurted without warming us up first. Rose's attention left the balcony and rested on the same place that held mine: Alice.

"What; really?" Rose squealed.

"Yeah, I'm four days late." She smiled and anyone could see that she was definitely glowing.

"Alice," I whispered. "Congratulations." She hugged me and Rose threw her arms around us too. "Are you excited," I asked. I couldn't imagine that she wouldn't be.

"I haven't told Jasper yet; I'm kind of avoiding him. I'm a little worried about how he's going to feel about it." She looked troubled. I imagine you would want to tell your significant other the news. To have to hold it in because you're afraid of what their reaction is going to be, would be heart wrenching.

"I think he's going to be excited Alice, you should tell him." That's the only advice I had to give; what I would do and what I would assume. If I were in his shoes I would be thrilled. But I'm not in his shoes, so really, I don't know.

Rose's head jerked up and she looked to the balcony. "Ethan is crying," then she hurried toward the sound. We watched her leave and held onto one another.

"So, are you going to tell him?" I asked uninterested, watching the boys on the balcony.

"Of course I am…I just don't know when."

We started to walk back, our arms still wound around each other. The cool breeze was nice against my face. Edward was kneeling down next to Ethan in his swing, saying something to Rose. When he noticed me he stood and came towards me.

"Where have you been?" Alice had continued to where Rose was playing with Ethan just inside the door and Edward snaked his arms around my waist; pulling me hard against him.

"I was having another girl talk," I informed him.

"And what does girl talk mean? Did my name come up?" he smiled a devilish grin.

"Surprisingly no, not this time. Usually you're the topic of discussion these days." I grinned back.

We left shortly after that, Alice promised she would get a test with us tomorrow and then, and only then, if it came back positive she would tell Jasper. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in her shoes. I'd be scared to death to tell Edward if I were the one worried about being pregnant. I don't even want to know how that would blow over.

"So, I have to ask," Edward was driving us home. I wasn't happy about it because it meant he was leaving shortly after we would arrive. "What does Olive Juice mean?"

EPOV

I really wanted to make something for Bella because the two times she thinks I did, I really didn't. I thought I could do it; it didn't look like a hard task. Boy was I wrong. I burnt the fucking bacon. I had the eggs ready to go and the hash browns graded; but nooo, the bacon has to burn.

Bella was in her element when she cleared the apartment of the smoke. I felt better confessing my sins about Alice being the one who made the dinners, she didn't mind. I had no problem agreeing to her terms. She can cook for me anytime, as long as it means she's eating with me.

The shower was nice, as it has been all week and the day was looking to be a good one. We headed over to Jasper and Alice's place to meet up for their, and now my, weekly get togethers. I never pictured myself being a family man but I did find solace in seeing my brothers. Seeing Ethan was a blast. That little guy has gotten us all wrapped around his little finger. I would do just about anything to make that kid smile.

Rose informed me while she was tending to him that the smile was probably just gas. I wasn't put out by that though, I told him he was smiling for his uncle. He smiled.

"Olive juice," Rose cooed as she picked him up out of the swing.

That struck a memory cord and I remembered hearing Bella say that in her sleep. She said it after saying my name.

"Hey Rose, what did you just say?" I wanted to be sure I was hearing correctly before I just assumed.

"Oh, it's Olive juice. If you mouth it," she did it, "Then it looks like you're saying I love you. Charlie and Renee used to say it to us all the time."

She walked off to the living room and I contemplated the new information I had just received. The day Teresa came and almost scared Bella off for good; that was the day she said it. She said she loved me and I didn't even know it. Of course it was in her subconscious but still. That had to stand for something.

I confronted Bella about it, even though I knew what it meant now that Rose informed me, I still wanted hear it from Bella. "What does olive juice mean?"

"Where did you hear that?" she questioned.

"Tonight I heard Rose saying it to Ethan," I was sneaky not to lie or keep anything from her.

"Oh, well it really doesn't mean anything but if you mouth it," she looked at me and said it. Or she really said I love you just to mess with me. It really looked like she said it. "It looks like you say I love you."

I smiled, she confirmed it. "Are you aware that you still talk in your sleep?"

She blushed, I haven't seen her blush in a while, "Yeah, I've been worried about that." She looked out the window and didn't say another word about it.

"That first week when I stayed at your apartment after Ethan was born, you said something while you were sleeping."

She gasped, "What did I say?" She practically demanded.

I chuckled, "You said my name and then you said olive juice." I smiled looking at her and she smiled back.

She was silent for a moment but her smile never faltered. "Well I did."

Two days away from Bella has been torture in it's worst form. Sunday when I left she begged me to stay with her but in the end we both knew I had to go. I said I'd be back by the weekend; I don't think I'll be able to wait that long. Now that I have her after all those years of depression and self loathing; it's ridiculous to me for us to be apart.

Yesterday I crammed as much stuff into the day as I could. I ran by the CC to say my farewell to my friends and inform them of my move. Laurent was sincerely happy for me but also pissed that I was leaving.

I ran by PUD to shut off my electricity and my water. I went by the Rose Garden to say my goodbyes to the people that I bonded with while working there. I steered clear of Chelsea though, that conversation I could do without.

My agenda for today included speaking with the owner of my apartment and give him my 20 days notice. Then I was going to pack my car full of whatever I could fit in it and surprise Bella tomorrow when she got off work. She'd given me a key to her apartment; I could stay there with her until I moved in to Jasper's.

I didn't say anything about how much I wish we could share an apartment. I know it's too soon to talk about that. We've just barely begun our relationship, baby steps is what was going to work for us. Anything faster than that was liable to ruin what we have so far. I wasn't willing to risk it so I had kept my mouth shut.

I met with the owner and gave him my notice. He wished me well in my future and told me to tell Carlisle hello for him. They had attended Yale together back in the 70's. I packed most of my clothes and hygiene products into my luggage bags and packed them into the car. I had my TV and other entertainment goods stacked next to the front door for easy access in the morning. I wasn't going to leave them in my car over night just to wake up to a fucking broken window and all of my shit gone.

I emptied out the fridge and threw away anything that would expire by the time I returned.

I received a text from Bella saying that she missed me and that she couldn't wait for me to come home. Seattle was home now. Wherever Bella was, was home. I sent her a message while I waited for my dinner to cook.

Hey love, how are things? What are you doing? What are you wearing? Just kidding but really…what are you wearing?-E

Love huh? Things are…fine and I'm sitting on the couch looking through a magazine. I'm wearing my pj pants and your go to jail monopoly shirt.-B

Things are…fine?? Is there any importance to that? Why are you wearing my shirt you weirdo?-E

You'll see, yes there is and because I miss you.-B

Now you have me worried, I miss you too. What magazine are you reading?-E

You'll just have to wait and see.-B

We bickered back and forth for a few minutes until we said goodnight. I didn't push on what she had to tell me because I don't want her doing anything she isn't prepared for. I was avoiding anything that would threaten our relationship; I told myself it could only get better. I ate the last of my Hungry Man microwavable dinners and that concluded my night, I fell out on the couch with the fork still in my hand.

I hadn't started a new journal; I still wasn't sure that I was going to at all. I wrote in my journal to help get out my frustrations. To write down the questions I needed to ask, it was the only way to get any of it out. Now, the only questions I have can only be answered with time.

Will our relationship last? Will our love for one another stay strong year after year? Will Bella someday be my wife, the mother of my children? Did I want children? The answer to that has always been no; there was never any hesitation.

I find myself lost, at a fork in the road. One path led to a life with Bella. Us together always time to be shared together; alone. Romantic getaways and traveling to different countries. We would be happy and our time together would not be divided.

The other path, now that one led down a road I have never dared to venture. I told myself a long time ago that I was going to avoid having kids. I would never want to put my own flesh and blood through anything even remotely similar to what happened to me during my childhood. I was on unknown territory.

This road held a life with Bella, two kids, maybe three and a dog in a white picket fence. A Chrysler town and country with the flip down DVD player playing Toy Story. Two little smiles smiled back at me; one mine and one Bella's. It felt like my heart expanded two sizes.

I found myself leaning toward the unknown, but scared to enter the journey. Was I strong enough to stay out of my fathers foot steps? Am I capable of keeping my emotions at bay so they don't ruin my life? It was hard to keep my emotions under wraps when it came to the intense feelings I have for Bella; would it be worse than that?

I mulled over that, tossed it around in my head and looked at it from every angle. The final verdict: I am not ready for kids. In reality neither of us really are. In the future, kids are definitely on the agenda; at least they are for me.

That is the first time I have been okay with that. I am not my father and Bella is not my mother and we have the truest and purest kind of love for one another. That is one of the many differences between us and my parents. That, and the fact that I would never dream of hurting Bella or my progeny in anyway.

I pulled up to Bella's apartment and took in a load of my clothes. The door was hard to unlock because my hands were full. A soothing calm voice came from behind me.

"Need some help with that?"

I looked over my shoulder and a young woman, around my age was smiling up at me. "Um, yeah thanks." I handed her the keys and she unlocked the door with a quick turn of her wrist. "Thanks."

"No problem, I'm Angela," she threw her thumb over her shoulder, "I live down the hall."

"Oh, it's nice to meet you," I wondered if she knew Bella but I didn't bring it up.

We said a quick goodbye and I went through the door, kicking it shut behind me. Her apartment smelled like her; it made my heart flutter. I wanted to capture her scent, put it in a bottle and stuff it up my nose so I could be inundated by it always. Everything was in its place, a magazine was flipped upside down on the coffee table and I assumed it was the one she was reading.

I wanted to look, more than fucking anything I wanted to see the magazine she wouldn't tell me about…but I didn't. She said she had something to tell me and that I would find out. She wanted my trust and I wasn't going to jeopardize it.

I spent the next few hours bringing in my belongings and putting them in her spare bedroom. I left my car out front, maybe it wouldn't be too much of a surprise when she walked in and saw me. I hoped it wouldn't upset her that I came back without notice but I was banking on the fact that hopefully she missed me as much as I missed her.

3:30 rolled around and I decided to send her a message and find out what she was doing.

Hey love, whats the haps? I miss you something fierce.-E

I miss you too, so much. I can't wait for two more days to go by so I can see you. I'm just about to get into my car and head home. Alice is coming over to help me out with something.-B

Oh is she? What are you two up to?-E

None of your business love, you will just have to stick it out until Friday…-B

Love…I like it. Is this thing I'm waiting for a good thing or bad thing?-E

For me, it's not good but it's not really bad either. I guess you're the determining factor.-B

Friday is too long to wait, you have me antsy.-E

Just remember when you find out that I love you and I swear on every single thing that I love, I did not plan it, not in the least.-B

So Alice planned it, what the hell is it?-E

Alice had nothing to do with it LOL, you'll see. I'm almost home so I'll call you in a little bit. I want to hear your voice.-B

Okay, I can't wait.-E

I didn't say I couldn't wait to talk to her because what I really couldn't wait for was to see her. I waited on the couch, looking out at my car; waiting to see Bella pull up. When she did, just seeing her brought on the electric surge. My heart started to race, especially when I saw her face as she got out of the car. On her way to the apartment she stopped and looked at my car. I don't think she completely thought it was mine because she shook her head at it and continued to the front door.

I heard the key in the lock and then the door open. She sat her keys down on the little table in the hall and entered the front room. She jumped when she saw me and a smile spread across her face.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to be here Friday?" She stood where she stopped, her expression surprised and excited.

I got up from the couch and walked toward her, her presence calling out for me to be closer. "I can go back to Portland and wait until Friday if you'd like," I said sarcastically. I wasn't going anywhere.

She smiled lazily, "No, of course not, this is much better than waiting until Friday." I reached her then and pulled her to me, our lips finding each other without order. She smelled so good, she felt so soft and right in my arms. But there was something else in the way she kissed me. Something that worried me, but it also caused this feeling in my chest, like things were changing, in which direction I couldn't say.

She pulled away from me quickly and looked over my shoulder to the couch then back to me. "Did you look at the magazine?" she asked in a panic.

"No, I'm trying to win back your trust Bella, why would I invade your privacy?" I tried to lean in for another kiss because any kiss would never curb my addiction.

"So you didn't even turn it over and look at the cover?" she seemed to not believe me, and I laughed at how much it meant to her.

"No, I didn't even look at it. I have no idea what kind of magazine it is," not even the diaper ad on the back gave me any inclination of what it was.

She wiggled her way out of my grasp and pulled me by the hand to the couch. "I wasn't going to tell you until I knew for sure, which still isn't until tomorrow."

"Tell me what? Is something wrong?" I pulled back on my hand causing her to stop right in front of the coffee table. "You would tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you?"

When she looked back at me she was biting her bottom lip and pink crossed her features. "I wouldn't say something is wrong, I would say….things have changed."

Now I was worried, "What do you mean changed, your feelings haven't changed have they?" I was desperate, needy and losing control of my emotions. Bella had to love me, there was no other way it should be.

"No, not at all. My feelings will never change." She came closer to me, grabbing the magazine on the way. She held it up to me and I read the title.

Oh boy, what's the title to the magazine? I'm sure it's not hard to guess but I like to think it is. I would love to hear your guesses. Alice is prego, how cool. I haven't read many stories where Alice is prego so I though it would be nice for her and Jasper to have a little baby crawling around. I know, very cliche but what is the next step in any relationship? Marriage and kids right? For Jasper, he is scared to marry, scared his marriage will end up like his parents.

Well, this is a story about all of their lives and guess what, marriage and kids are real possibilities.

As of now, there is only one more chapter written so I will be posting that on Wednesday...after that I am not sure when I will post. School will be out in about a week and a half maybe two and I will have a lot more time to write and post. So please stick it out and hang in there....things are going to get good and bad and good again....

Thank you Scrimmy, it's good to have you back again. I missed you...I'll be sending you some chapters soon, I promise. Thank you to the readers and reviewers and alert adders LOL....you really make this more exciting for me....thank you soooo much.

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