Life For Rent

Chapter 28 : Big Chair

Author's Notes :
- Spoilers for S1E22.
- Thank you again to all my wonderful reviewers, you rock. \m/ - supposed to be the rock hand sign.
- Title from Big Chair which belongs to Travis.

It smelt like… something. Callen couldn't decide what it was as he followed Jared into his apartment. Jared went back to the kitchen and Callen took a seat at the counter to watch Jared work.

"Drink, G?" Jared asked quietly. Too quietly. He'd been abnormally on the phone, too, when Callen had called half an hour earlier to make sure it was okay to come over.

"I'm good."

Jared didn't even look up from the salad he was putting together, just nodded slightly in acknowledgment. Callen watched in silence as Jared sliced some chicken to go in the salad. Jared's shoulders were hunched in resignation and he had a somber aura about him.

Callen reached out with a hand and gently laid it on top of the hand that Jared was holding his knife in. Jared stopped cutting and his head turned to look at their hands together, but he still didn't meet Callen's eyes. Instead he almost seemed to lean into the small touch. Callen had never been someone that anyone would turn to for comfort, but Jared seemed to have missed that memo. And Callen didn't mind one bit.

Callen slowly moved his thumb along the top of Jared's hand and he watched as Jared's whole body trembled. The knife clattered to the counter and Jared was suddenly turning away, his whole body rotating to face away from Callen. But Callen still had his hand.

Dinner suddenly seemed so unimportant because all Callen wanted was to get Jared undressed and into bed with him so they could talk. Jared liked to talk in bed, it was one of the only places that Callen could get him to open up.

Jared's body shook ever so slightly and all Callen could hear was Jared's breath hitching with every inhale. He was crying.

Callen squeezed Jared's hand and stood up. He slowly walked around the counter, without letting go, and went to stand behind Jared. Callen wrapped his arms around Jared's waist from behind, resting their clasped hands on Jared's stomach. He leaned his head forward on Jared's shoulder and waited until Jared began to lean back into him.

By now Callen could feel Jared's body trembling. He could feel the way Jared's lungs were taking in short breaths and Callen felt the unmistakable urge to cry with him. He didn't know why.

He did know that Jared was sad, sad about something, or upset maybe. Jared was hurting and Callen wanted to make it better. He couldn't remember ever wanting anything more.

Callen wasn't sure how long they stood there, but eventually Jared's breaths evened out again and his body stopped shaking.

Jared broke away from Callen's hold and went back to making dinner. Callen stood there for a moment before inwardly sighing and walking around the counter back to his abandoned stool.

Eventually a plate was placed in front of him and a second plate in front of another stool. Jared filled two glasses with red wine and carried them over. They ate in silence and by the time they were finished, Jared had had two and a half glasses of wine while Callen still had a couple sips left of his first glass.

Jared did the dishes while Callen shut windows and locked the door. They both prepared for bed in silence and they slipped in, Callen on the right, Jared on the left. Jared turned off the light and plunged the room into darkness.

Callen took a deep breath. "Want to talk about it?"

There was a long pause before Jared answered, "Not really."

"Jared-"

"Just leave it."

"If there's anything I can-"

"There's not."

Callen exhaled and forced himself to drop the issue. If Jared wanted to talk about it, he would. How often had someone tried to get Callen to talk about something before was ready? How much did Callen hate it when that happened? So he would give Jared time and wait until he was ready.

Jared turned on his side and slung an arm across Callen's stomach. Callen froze for a moment before turning and scooting back into the younger man. Jared's hand rested low on Callen's stomach and Callen fell asleep to the soft exhale of breath on the back of his neck.

When Callen arrived at work, it was to an expectant Nate and Eric. He raised an eyebrow in their direction as he set his bag down on the floor. "What's up?"

"Uh…" Nate looked behind him and then back at Callen. "Is that all you have today?"

"My bag?" Callen asked, sitting down at his desk.

"Yeah."

"…Yeah. Should I have more?"

"It's Wednesday," Nate said, as though that should mean something to Callen.

"I know."

"On Wednesday you usually bring… uh…" Nate glanced at Eric.

"What he's trying to say," Eric said. "Is that on Wednesdays, Jared usually bakes something for breakfast."

"Oh. Two of his suppliers were late this morning; he wasn't back before I left," Callen informed them.

"Late?"

"Yeah, he usually meets them at around 5 and is back by 7, but he was held up."

"Oh," Nate said sadly.

"I can see if he'll make something for tomorrow."

"The cherry things-"

"The apricot pastries-"

They said at the same time and then glared at each other.

"Now, you kids play nice," Sam said as he strolled in between them and to his desk. "He'll make what he makes and you'll eat it."

Callen's phone began to buzz. "Speak of the devil…" He thumbed the on button. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, G," Jared answered. "Sorry I didn't make it back in time to say goodbye."

"That's okay."

"And I'm, ah, really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to fall apart on you in the kitchen like that."

Callen turned away from his curious listeners and said quietly, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. It was stupid."

"I'm sure it wasn't stupid, Jared."

"I just overreacted."

"Overreacted to what?"

Jared sighed. "You're going to think I'm dumb."

"I'm not going to think you're dumb, but I am going to think you're evading the question if you keep this up," Callen answered.

There was another heavy sigh. "The waves sucked yesterday, so I didn't go surfing like I had planned."

"Okay…"

"Instead, I decided to watch some TV."

"I'm still not seeing where this is going…" Callen said.

"I'm flipping through the channels, and stopped when I saw you on one of the news stations."

Callen pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck."

"I knew it was you because Sam was there, too, and Kensi and Nate."

"Please tell me you didn't stop for long."

"It was kinda cool at first; one of those 'Hey, someone I know is on TV' moments."

Callen closed his eyes. "Jared."

"And then the fucking van blew up and you were right next to it and I swear to god, my heart stopped, G." Jared blew out a breath. "It's like, you could have died, and I would have been sitting on the couch, eating carrots."

"Jared."

"And then you come over, like you didn't almost die, and…" Jared exhaled. "And all I can do is make a fucking salad and cry like a fucking girl."

"I didn't almost die, I knew what was about to happen."

"Did you really? You knew how big the blast was going to be? You knew that you were far enough away?" Jared took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I know you can take care of yourself. I know your job is dangerous. I just… I never expected to actually see any part of it. It shocked me."

"I'm sorry you saw that," Callen said quietly.

"And I'm sorry I broke down on you in the kitchen," Jared answered softly. "I thought I would be alright."

"Jared-"

"No, I get it," Jared cut in. "I mean, you don't need someone who's going to fall apart every time you're in danger. It won't happen again," he finished softly.

There was a slightly uncomfortable pause before Callen said, "Hey, Jared?"

"Hmm?"

"Want to meet for lunch?"

"Where?"

"Your place."

"Is this one of those times where you say 'lunch' but really mean 'sex'?"

Callen laughed. "Yes."

"I'll make you a lunch to-go."

"Thanks." He paused. "Are you going to be alright, Jare?"

"Yeah."

"I'll see you at 12:30."

"Stay safe."

Jared hung up and Callen turned back around to expectant faces. He frowned and then made a face. "Sorry, forgot to ask him."

"But you will?" Eric questioned.

"Yeah, I'm meeting him for lunch, I'll ask him then."

"Sweet." He leaned in close to Callen. "And try to talk him into those cherry things."

Jared met him at the door in just his boxers, and it was clear to Callen that he'd just woken up. His hair was mussed and there was a tiny crease from his pillow on Jared's cheek. Callen ran his eyes down Jared's body and when he raised them back to his partner's face, Jared flushed.

"Now if you could just always answer half-naked…"

Jared flushed an even deeper red and Callen laughed and shut the door behind him. He shed his jacket and his shoes and stripped off his shirt as he followed Jared into his bedroom. Callen was working on his belt when Jared pushed down his boxers.

"I promised Eric I'd see if you'd make something for them tomorrow," Callen said as he stepped out of his pants, leaving him naked.

"Oh, shit, it's Wednesday," Jared said. "Sorry."

Callen shrugged off the apology. "He wanted me to put a good word in for the cherry turnovers you made a couple of weeks ago."

"Consider a good word put in," Jared answered. He fell back onto the bed. "How long is your lunch break?"

Callen walked over and settled on to the bed, on top of Jared's lithe form. "Don't tell anyone," he murmured into Jared's neck. "But I wasn't planning on going back today."

"You're such a rebel," Jared said with a lop-sided grin. "What are you going to do instead?"

"Well, I know this amazing chef, but I've never been to his restaurant. I thought I'd head over and let him feed me, and maybe see if I can't get him to let me watch him cook for a while."

"Oh, you did, did you?"

Callen trailed kisses down Jared's chest. "What do you think my chances are?"

Jared's hands landed on top of Callen's hair and Callen wet his lips before licking Jared's cock from the base to the tip. Jared gasped. "I'd say they're pretty good."

Callen smiled. "Good."

Then there was no more talking, except when Jared would breathe his name or Callen would mouth it into the skin by Jared's hip. Their lovemaking was slow and apologies were spoken on both sides with each touch. Jared was still seeking some comfort and Callen was still itching to give it.

They moved together gently, and if Callen held Jared extra tightly while moving in and out of him, well, neither of them were going to mention it.

Watching Jared work shouldn't have been as exciting as it was. His partner was yelling out orders left and right, dashing around the kitchen trying everything, going out to meet customers, and cooking. He was so vibrant and in charge. It really made Callen want to bend him over the counter and fuck him like there was no tomorrow.

Every ten minutes or so, Jared would look his way and flash a huge smile in Callen's direction. Callen was seated on top of a small unused portion of the counter in the corner of the room. Jared had offered to pull out the chef's table, but Callen had declined. He liked the higher vantage point, it gave him a better view of the whole room.

Jared, Brandon, and Matt, Jared's sous-chef, had all come by with food at one point or another. Callen had never eaten so much in his life.

Jared finished yelling at someone else and then made his way across the room to Callen. He stood between Callen's legs, resting his hands on Callen's knees. "Having fun?"

"You're really hot when you yell," Callen told him. "Did you know that?"

"I happen to think I'm hot all the time," Jared said cheekily.

"Of course you do," Callen said with a roll of his eyes. "Hey, what was-"

"One second," Jared said, cutting him off. He turned his head towards the prep station. "Ben! I need the carrots sliced thinner!"

"Sorry, boss!"

"No 'sorry'! Just fix it!" He looked around. "Matt! Table seven's been waiting," he checked his watch. "Twenty minutes, now. I want their food out to them in the next two minutes."

"It's ready, Jared!" Matt called back. "David hasn't been in to take it out."

"Get Mark to take it."

"He hasn't come back either."

"Where are all my waiters? I don't care who it is, get it in somebody's hands and to table seven!"

"Got it."

Jared shook his head and then turned back to Callen. "Sorry, where were we?"

"I'm so turned on right now."

Jared blushed. "Geez, G, I didn't realize that you had an 'in charge' fetish."

"Neither did I," Callen muttered.

"Must be me," Jared grinned.

"Where did this ego of yours come from?" Callen asked with another roll of his eyes.

Jared laughed. "And this is me in a good mood. I think we should always have sex before I have to go to work."

"Yeah," Callen said sarcastically. "I'll get right on that."

"Awesome."

Callen chuckled. "Don't you have work or something to do?"

Jared groaned. "Don't remind me. I have to go find out what the hell happened to all my waiters."

"Maybe they went on strike and left you in the lurch."

This time Jared rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that's it." He moved his hand up Callen's leg to rest on his thigh. "If you want to go back to my place, my keys are in my jacket."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"If you get bored."

"How would you get home?"

"Brandon," Jared answered. "He lives pretty close."

"I'm not gonna get bored," Callen promised. He shooed Jared away, "Go find your waiters."

Jared laughed but obediently pulled away. "I'll bring you dessert in an hour or so, okay?"

"I think I might explode from all the food everyone has been bringing me," Callen joked.

Jared froze for a second and Callen caught a brief glimpse of fear in Jared's eyes before the younger man covered it up. "We wouldn't want that."

Callen reached out and snagged a hand. "No, we wouldn't."

Jared met his gaze and squeezed his hand before letting go and moving away. Callen followed him with his eyes and tracked Jared's movements for the rest of the night.