19. Knocked Up

BPOV

Monday when I woke up for work, it felt like I had the worst kind of food poisoning. My stomach was in knots and my head was dizzy. Thankfully, nothing came up and I made it to work in clean clothing. Today was different than any other day, the way I felt was off. All day I was in a sort of dream like state, all of my thoughts revolving around the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I finally made it through the day and called Alice on my headset on my way to her place. We were meeting up with Rose to get Alice a pregnancy test. She was pretty sure she was pregnant but we all wanted proof. I told her how I was feeling and she joked that maybe I should get one too. Sure it was funny, until I really thought about it.

I hung up the phone without another word and abruptly pulled off the side of the road. I mentally calculated the last time I had a menstrual cycle. I couldn't remember; I never really kept track of it that way. I thought back to the last time we had sex, god it was amazing. We used protection. I thought back on every time, because it was all memorable, and we have always used a condom. Then I thought back to the first time; heat of the moment and lovers passion. I took a deep intake of breath and it hit me. "I might be pregnant."

I forced myself to put my hands back on the wheel and get back out into the traffic. I made it to Alice, not remembering one turn I made, and sat in my car with the ignition off. How could we have been so stupid? Why didn't I have any for just in case? Because I never thought I would have anyone in my bed, that's why. Shows how very little I know.

Rose pulled up and she waved a purple cardboard box at me through the windshield. She was smiling and I probably looked like my cat just died; if I had one. Rose was suddenly at my window tapping on it with the purple box.

"Come on Bella," she called through the glass. I mechanically moved my arm to reach for the handle and got out of the car feeling light on my feet. Vertigo hit me and I nearly fell onto the sidewalk if it weren't for Rose steadying me. "Whoa, are you okay?"

"I'm fine…just a little light headed," I half lied. I couldn't say, 'I'm fine…I just figured out I might be pregnant."

She gave me a worried look and then I followed her down the path to the front door of Alice's home. We didn't knock; we just walked in like we always do. Alice was there, she's always chipper smile planted on her always happy face.

Rose held out the box with a devilish grin, "You ready?" Talk about getting down to business.

Alice snatched the box out of her hands, "Oh heck yeah," and started toward the bathroom.

I had to know if I was pregnant too, I need the reassurance that life wasn't about to get 10 times harder than it already was. "Rose, is that the one that comes with two tests?" I tried to sound nonchalant but I have always been terrible at hiding my true feelings and intentions.

"Yeah," she looked confused by my question, "Why?"

I blushed and looked down at my feet, something that always gave me away, hence my previous statement. "No," she gushed. "You aren't?" she pushed me for feedback.

"I don't know, I just haven't been feeling well and I'm not sure if I'm late or not." I tried to defend my reasoning but it was too late.

"Alice," Rose yelled.

"What, I'm trying to pee here," she yelled from behind the closed door of the bathroom.

"Bella needs to join you," she informed her.

"Why?"

"Because she might be prego too," she laughed and I could have died right there.

"What!" and then the door flew open. "Did I just hear you right, you might be pregnant?" she asked looking at me buttoning her pants.

"I said I don't know. I just want to check if you have a spare one." I tried to sound indifferent but it was quite possibly the biggest deal of my life; aside from Edward reappearing.

Without objection or any further arguing she gestured with her hand for me to enter the bathroom. I walked passed her and shut the door behind me. "Hurry up, I want to see the results to mine," she ordered through the door.

I did what needed to be done with shaky hands and sat the life changing stick opposite Alice's along the sink. I opened the door and Alice rushed passed me and grabbed hers up quicker than I thought possible. A smile spread across her face and she started jumping in place.

"I'm pregnant," she shrieked, "I'm pregnant. Oh my freaking god I'm pregnant." Her expression and tone turned to worry; she was really good at showing emotions. "How am I going to tell Jasper?"

I didn't hear anything after that. When Alice rushed passed me to get her phone I walked in the opposite direction. I didn't want to know what the stick said but I needed to know. I wished that I could leave here as one person and for this worry to come later in our lives. We did not need this now, so fresh into our reunion. This reality could very well tear us apart for good. I prayed for the stick to be negative; opposite what the previous one informed us.

Yeah, if I could be so lucky.

I looked in the mirror, nothing about me was glowing. I had stress lines around my eyes and dark circles that weren't the most apparent thing on my face but they weren't unnoticeable either. I did not look like a pregnant woman. Of course the stick had another opinion.

"What does it say?" Alice asked in her still excited tone. "Are we prego together or what?"

I looked away from the mirror and met Alice and Rose's expectant stares. They must have seen the answer in my eyes and the panic that was creeping up my spin. "I'm not ready for this," I said simply; calmly. "We've only been together a few weeks. How can we be ready for this?"

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you did the dirty dead huh?" Rose poked fun and it inwardly infuriated me. How is this a time to crack jokes?

"That's why they say to always wear a rain jacket when you go out into the rain," Alice giggled nervously. They had to see the panic by now.

"What the hell am I going to do? What am I going to tell Edward?" I very nearly shouted. It was all I could do to not break down right there. "What is he going to think?" he doesn't seem like the type.

"Calm down," Alice tried to comfort me.

"Why don't you call him and find out?" Rose offered.

"Over the phone? You have got me fucked up if you think I'm going to deliver that kind of information over the phone," something we've said since we were younger.

"Then wait and find out, either way you are going to have to tell him and either way it's going to happen weather you want it to or not." She was right, I couldn't deny that but I wasn't going to call Edward and tell him anything.

My shoulders dropped and I let out a sigh of stress and worry, I let it fill me because I had no idea, nothing to go by, what Edward's reaction was going to be when I told him.

I wasn't planning on seeing Edward until Friday so you can imagine my shock when I found him sitting in my living room Wednesday after work. Alice was due to arrive any moment to help me form a plan for dropping the bomb on Edward. I didn't want to scare him away or make him feel like I was trying to trap him or something because that isn't the case at all. I never planned on having kids this early; I wasn't sure if that was ever going to happen.

When I saw his car sitting outside my apartment I wasn't entirely sure it was his but I had a sinking suspicion that it was. When I stood at the door I felt the shock of his presence and I knew then that it definitely was his car. I was thrilled that he didn't look at the magazine, giving him time to dwell over it or even leave before I got home.

Standing there holding the magazine out to him was the most awkward I have felt in his presence as of now. "Parent's magazine?" he said out loud. "What does that have to do…" His expression changed with hast; all emotions drained and his face unreadable.

He looked at me, his green eyes confused and unsure. "Bella…are you telling me you're pregnant?"

"I don't know how it happened, well I mean I know how it happened but I never thought it would. It's not 100% sure." My attempt at reading his expression was diminished by his ability to hide his feelings.

"You don't know for sure? How do you know at all?" he pushed.

"Alice got a test for herself and it came with two so I took one. I wasn't feeling well, haven't since the middle of last week. I have the test if you want to see it." I kept it because I wanted to have it if it turned out to be accurate.

"Yeah, you still have it?" he asked puzzled by that fact.

I darted out of his sight without a response and grabbed it from the table on my side of the bed. I returned to the front room and held it out to Edward who took it without hast. He sat down in the rocking chair behind him and studied it intently. He looked at it for a while; still nothing to tell me how he felt about it.

When he finally did look up at me, his expression still held nothing that would give me any inclination of how he was taking it. He stood from his seated position and dropped the test on the coffee table next to the magazine. He bent over and grabbed it, studying the front cover.

I was done waiting to find out how he felt. I needed to know that I wasn't going to be a single mother raising our child. "Edward, can you please tell me what you're thinking? It's killing me." I half begged.

He turned the magazine over so I could see it and pointed at the line that said: 25 Things a Father can do with his Daughter. "I hope she has your eyes."

I smiled widely, the happiness taking over the dread and worry that was encasing me moments ago. I threw myself at him and he caught me; instantly crushing me to him. "I love you so much and I'll love our daughter just the same."

The tears flowed down my cheeks; something I've been holding back since I found out. "So you're not mad?" I asked through my sniffles.

He backed away from me, still holding me in his arms. "I am so fucking elated to be with you Bella. A baby is only going to add to the joy that you bring to my life." He smiled, not the smile that drives me crazy, but a goofy uncontrollable smile that caused my insides to celebrate. "I'm going to be a father," he said excitedly. "The best kind of father," he added in a whisper.

I thought about his own father; his real father. The things he subjected his family to and the way he treated them. Not once did I worry about the kind of father Edward would be. Carlisle and Esme raised him well and Carlisle was the best kind of role model for him; for anyone. I know Edward will walk in his footsteps.

There was a knock at the door and I remembered Alice was coming over. "Oh, that's Alice." I tried to pull away from him but his hold was like vise grips around me. I pushed away from him and he didn't let up. "Edward, I have to get the door."

He raised his head from my shoulder and his eyes were red, "I love you so fucking much Bella, tell me you love me the same because I'm freaking out right now." He laughed but it was a scared, nervous muffle.

"Let me get rid of Alice okay; I'll be right back and we can talk," he released me and fell back into the rocking chair behind him. I didn't want to leave the solace of his arms and leave him worried but I did want to tell Alice to leave and we'd talk more tomorrow. It wasn't that easy though.

I opened the door and she stormed in, "Geez Bella, took you long enough to answer." She stormed past me but I stopped her.

"Alice wait," she turned to look at me and she was definitely confused.

"What?"

"I don't think now is a good time," I pointed toward the front room and whispered "Edward's in there."

Her mouth formed a small o shape and she realized what I was talking about. "O-kay, call me," she padded my shoulder. "Good luck," and then she slipped out the door. I didn't bother telling her that I had already dropped the bomb, but it didn't matter. I had bigger things to deal with.

When I stepped back into the living room the sight I saw was heart wrenching. Edward's face was in his hands and his fingers were fisted in his hair. I walked to stand in front of him, my hands touching his head softly.

"Edward," I whispered. His right hand left his hair and he reached out to mine and I let him take it.

"Please don't tell me you don't feel the same anymore because I can't take it, not now." His face remained hidden in the palm of his left hand and I could hear that he was serious. He really thought I was going to push him away again.

I kneeled down to be at his level and tried to move his head so I could see into his eyes.

"No, I don't want you to see me like this," he refused to lift his head.

"If you want my answer you'll look at me, I'm not saying a word until you do." I waited and waited until finally his hand dropped. He lifted his face, his eyes scorching into mine. I almost couldn't answer; his anguish took my breath away. "Just tell me Bella, shit." She pleaded forlornly.

I stood up and sat in his lap, my arms lacing around his neck. I kissed him softly, not lingering at all and he tried to pull me back in. I resisted and looked back into his tear swollen eyes.

"I have always loved you Edward, I can't breathe if you're not with me. I cannot imagine my life without you so yes, I fucking love you so much." I laughed lightly and he just crushed me to him. His hand fell to my stomach and I moved away so I could see what he was doing.

"Are we ready for this?" He asked seriously, looking at his hand on my still flat stomach.

"Does it matter?" I think I would hurl if he said that there was another way.

"No, I guess not." His eyes came up to mine, "How do you feel about it?"

I let out a breath of air, "I don't know, I'm not super excited about it but it's happening." The tone in my voice sounded like someone was dying; I had to fix it. "We have nine months to get used to the idea." He smiled, a genuine smile, his smile. The one that drove me crazy anytime he used it. He just stared at me smiling so I smiled back, "What?"
He blushed, just a little, as he ducked his head, "We have nine months."

I laughed at his knowledge of the facts of life, "Yeah, that's how long pregnancies usually last."

"No, that isn't what I meant. I meant we," he emphasized, "Have nine months ahead of us; together."

"I was hoping for forever, but I'll take what I can get," I joked and he laughed.

"Now forever I can do," he hugged me, his face burying in my hair. He wasn't thrilled about having a baby but neither was I; at least he wasn't upset about it. That was the least I could ask for, now we would have to see what the following months would have in store for us. We are a new couple with a long past, things are bound to come up that are going to test our devotion. I am determined to leave the past behind us and only look to the future. By past I mean the one we shared and the ones we had apart. I don't care if Edward has slept with 50 woman as long as he only sleeps with one for the rest of his life. I don't care about anything that happened before I realized I couldn't live life to the fullest unless I was with him. I only care, now, about the future with him that has been painted for me.

Edward swept me up into his arms and I didn't object. He looked into my eyes as he carried me into the room and all I could see now was joy in them. He was utterly happy, as was I, and soon we would be parent's to an innocent little being that we both helped create out of the love we hold for one another.

Life is crazy like that, I suppose. But one can only hope for the best.

EPOV

There were a ton of pictures on the wall, some big some small. Some made sense and others not so much. The walls were that hospital white and the scent of antibacterial hand sanitizer wafted past my nose every time someone walked by me. "Isabella Swan," the nurse with the flamingo scrubs called from a side door.

Bella got out of her chair, "Let's go," and I followed through the door. On the other side was a weight scale.

"First let's get you weighed," the nurse instructed and I watched as Bella slipped her shoes off and stepped onto the platform. "125 pounds," she recited and held out a little plastic cup. "Take this into the bathroom, we only need about this much." She held her finger a quarter of the way up the cup then handed it to Bella.

She gave me a shy smile then disappeared behind the bathroom door. The nurse looked me over the moment she was gone. I tried to ignore her, even as she dropped her pen she'd been writing with and bent over in front of me.

I wasn't interested.

Bella came out and her face was flushed pink. I took her into my arms and we followed the slutty nurse to our room. She took Bella's blood pressure, her temperature and checked her heart rate. "The doctor will be in to see you soon," and then she left.

"How's it going? Are you feeling okay?" I'd been asking her that a lot since I found out, but I wanted to be sure she was comfortable.

"I'm fine, just a little nervous." As was I, there's still a chance she isn't pregnant. A home test is nothing like a hospital test. This was going to be the moment of truth, the moment that's going to hopefully alter the future I'd come to terms with pre-Bella. I wanted to be tied to her in some way. Some way that would mean she will be in my life forever; this was it.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door and the doctor walked through it. "Hi Isabella, I'm Carmen Shrute." She held out her hand in greeting, "And you must be Edward Cullen, it's great to meet the two of you."

Her hands rested in her lap and she looked from me to Bella and back, "How are you feeling?"

"We're anxious to know the results," Bella answered for us.

"Well that's good because I have them right here." She pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. I leaned far over her shoulder so I could read what it said.

"Positive," we both said in unison looking up to meet each other's eyes.

"Yes, I'm going to say you're about three weeks along and your due date is July 25." After we talked about what to expect in the next nine months and what I can do to help Bella feel more comfortable, Dr. Shrute measured Bella's waist and her bust. We made another appointment for next month and left with smiles on our faces.

Journal Entry 1: October 13, 2009

I'm going to be a daddy.

I, Edward Cullen, am having a baby and am excited beyond comparison.

I never thought I would be so taken over by emotions that I would bawl like a little baby in front of Bella but fuck if I didn't.

How could I not?

I'm going to be a daddy.

Those six little words are so foreign to me, never thought I would say them in that sequence.

Now, I can't stop replaying them in my head.

I'm going to be a daddy…

I'm going to be a daddy…

We had decided not to say anything to our extended family; they wouldn't understand. Besides, thanksgiving was coming up and everyone would be there. What better time would there be? Alice, however, was bound and determined to make sure everyone knew. Jasper was excited himself; two predetermined bachelors for life (for different reasons)…having babies. People back home in Chicago would never believe it.

"I think I am going to be sick," Bella laid her head down against my chest and I cradled her sympathetically.

"I'm so sorry love, I wish I could help. What do you want me to do?" I asked helplessly.

"Don't move, just…don't move. You're making it worse." She relaxed against me and I stayed still as stone. If I could I would take her place, I know a lot of men have probably said the same thing but how many of them truly meant it?

The plane taking us to Chicago lifted off with Bella hurling into a bag the stewardess brought to us. Once it leveled out and we were cleared to remove our belts Bella wasn't the only one rushing to the restroom. Thankfully she found one and 10 minutes later she emerged. She looked flushed and exhausted as she walked down the aisle. She was so beautiful, so pure and natural now more than ever with her hand resting on the small bump hidden beneath her shirt.

She sat down next to me and laced her arms around my right one, "I feel so much better." She cuddled up to me and I rested my head on hers. I thought about what Carlisle and Esme's reaction was going to be when they found out about us, more so when they find out about the pregnancy. I hoped Esme would be excited, she said she expected grandchildren from me. Her wish was being granted wasn't it?

Then I thought about Bella's nominal parents, this will be our first official meeting as Bella's boyfriend. Would they think ill of me for impregnating a woman whose heart I've broken? Will they be happy for Bella or worried for her? Would Bella stand up for what we have if they thought it wrong or unjust? Would I?

Bella stirred at my side and I looked down at her, her eyes shut and lips barely parted. Her hair was down natural and fell partially in front of her face. Her hands were still clenching at my forearm, "Olive juice," she whispered.

Now that I knew what that meant, it made perfect sense to me. "Mmm," she snuggled closer to me and I pulled her in. Her eyes fluttered open just long enough to look up at me through her lashes and smile a sweet-lazy smile. This time I joined her slumber, welcoming the coming dream I would soon be living.

The descent of the plane woke me and I opened my eyes to a pair of big brown welcoming ones. "Did you sleep well?" She asked with a smirk.

I was slouching down and my back was screaming at me, I had to straightened myself and Bella groaned in protest. "Where's the bag?" she asked suddenly, hurriedly. "Hurry," she ordered. I reached in the under compartment and found a fresh bag. I handed it to her just in time to catch what was coming out. I held her hair for her and rubbed her back because it was all I could do.

We docked the plane and Carlisle and Charlie were waiting anxiously by the security gates. They waved energetically and we all smiled and waved back. I had Bella tucked under my arm as I pulled and carried our luggage. My girl was not going to carry anything, that's what I'm here for.

I studied Charlie's expression most. He was staring at me, measuring me up and judging by what he sees. This will be his first impression of me as Bella's boyfriend and the first thing we were going to tell them was the news. First impressions are everything to some people and Charlie is a police officer; his job description includes making first impression judgments.

When we reached them we all hugged one another and Charlie went right for Ethan. He and Carlisle made baby faces at him and all but pinched his chubby cheeks. When Charlie handed him over to Carlisle, Bella caught his attention.

"Hey Charlie, you remember Jasper and Emmett's brother Edward?" She said nervously.

"Oh, now he's got to be more than that," he looked over our close proximity of each other. Bella still snug under my arm; protected.

She looked away shyly, hiding her embarrassment. "I was getting to that. Edward this Charlie, Charlie this is my boyfriend Edward."

He didn't offer his hand, instead he made the following statement. "So all three of the Cullen boys snagged them each a Swan girl, look at that," he elbowed Carlisle in the side to gain his attention.

"Yeah, I'm not sure, but I think it might be illegal," Carlisle played along with him, not taking his eyes off of Ethan.

I decided to try and break the ice a little, "Well it's a good thing we have a man of the law on our side, eh chief Swan?"

"Don't get to comfortable boy, I'll turn on you quick as a honey bee," he stole Bella from my grasp to pull her into a hug. He had nothing but love for those girls and I admired him for his devotion to them. He didn't have to be there for them and he sure as hell didn't have to be a part of their lives once they moved out; but he was. Looks like Bella and I both lucked out in that department.

We arrived at my childhood home 45 minutes later and Jasper, Emmett and I gathered our things while the girls went inside to see their nominal mother. I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be, Charlie seemed like a fairly laid back guy, I think we would get along great.

"Don't worry, Charlie is very easy to win over," Jasper reassured me without indication.

"Yeah bro. Give him a Rainer and a football game and he's good to go," Emmett agreed. Maybe I was more nervous than I initially thought.

Renee was just as easygoing as her husband; she didn't bring up our past at all or give any sign that she wanted to. No wonder Bella talked so highly of them, I was grateful that she found them when she did even if it did ruin the next decade.

We all sat at the table that I was sure hasn't been used since the last time we were here and ate dinner. Conversations were a buzz all around the table and Bella sat at my side nibbling on her food. Ever since she became pregnant that's about all she can do.

Renee noticed, "Bella sweetie why are you picking at your food?" she asked the moment there was silence to do so. I tried not to give anything away but Bella was the one to do it.

"I can't eat very much, it makes me nauseous," she didn't look away from her fork full of lasagna. I chanced a glance at Renee and she was eyeing Bella skeptically.

"Maybe you should get that checked out, you might have a bug." She dug back into her own food and conversation began again. Thankfully we dodged that bullet.

After dinner we all kind of did our own things, Bella and I sat in front of the fireplace just enjoying each other's company. That was until the women came in with cocoa and I got booted out of the circle because, apparently, it was something they have done for years.

"I'll miss you," Bella cooed into my ear before I released her from the bear hug I was giving her.

"I love you," I whispered back and left her there to find the guys. I wasn't going to be the odd man out; not anymore, now that I have Bella.

Whoo Bella is pregnant. Being such, her emotions are on the fritz. Please forgive me if I screw up the timing of the pregnancy but it's going to be an over look basically. One or two chapters will be all pregnancy but will also be very important chapters. Remember when I said it'll get good, bad and good again. Yeah :), keep that in mind.

Thank you for your reviews and those of you who have added SH to your favs or alerts. Thank you to Scrimmy, you are the best. I know, you want more story and I will get it to you, I promise. Ohhh! Did everyone see the 10 second Eclipse teaser trailer. OME, it has me hooked already. I think I watched it like 10 times in a row. I need more....ahhh cannot wait until June 19th...and that's my birthday month whooo....

On a very sad note....I am in finals week, all the way through end of next week. That being said, I will not have a lot of time to write. I am going to get something to you on Saturday, it may not be very long but it will be something. After that I might not be updating for about a week. I will have a better idea by this Saturday..hopefully.

Please leave me sum luv....lil' button just below

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