27. What Women Want

EPOV

Everything has to be perfect. Not because Bella wouldn't appreciate it if it wasn't, but because Bella deserves nothing less. She does so much and asks for so little in return. I want this night to be one for the books, one she will remember forever.

When I arrived Eric was already there and had the paperwork in hand. I remember the conversation we had two weeks ago.

"Hey Edward, long time no talk. How's the family? How's Bella? We miss her around here. She always gave us all a run for our money. That girl was something else when it came to the track." We talked as if it was just yesterday that we'd seen each other, and we fell right back into our friendly banter just as if it never ceased to exist at all.

"Bella is great, Emilee is a handful but she is so wonderful. She's soon to be a kindergartner and she is so excited about being a big girl. But hey, that isn't necessarily why I called. I'm curious, do you still have that Accord Bella was going to take off your hands?" I knew how farfetched my request was but it's the only thing I wanted to get my wife and it was the only thing that would suffice.

"Man, you know how long ago that was? Like four and a half years bro." He fell silent and my plan—that I so carefully orchestrated—was ruined. "Dude, I knew I kept it for a reason."

"Fuck Eric, you had me sweating bullets over here. Is it still for sale? I need that car." I laughed nervously because he had no idea how much I was willing—and able—to trade for it.

"Yeah it's still for sale, I wouldn't keep it for just this reason and not follow through," He laughed. "When do you want it?"

I could not contain the excitement in my voice as we talked about the purchase of his car. I told him when our anniversary was and what I planned to do. I told him that he is always more than welcome to come by our place for a visit. We talked about our families and our lives since the last time we spoke. He had heard about me in the newspapers around Seattle and on a few radio stations, but did not want to bother us. He said he didn't want us to think he was just trying to be our friend because of our reputation.

Sometime later the conversation ended and I had an appointment to see him just before Bella would arrive.

"Hey Cullen, s'been a long time," Eric greeted me with a quick shake of his hand. "You look good. How's the musician's life treating you?"

"It's good, long hours, but at least I'm doing something I actually enjoy doing." I thought about my previous employment at the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon. It was not that I did not like that job, it was a good one and I had a lot of respect from many well-known people, but something was definitely missing.

"True that," he agreed.

We got down to business after that and I handed over the money he requested. After having all the documents, I thanked him and entered the track to meet with the owner, whom I spoke to earlier in the week and set my whole plan in motion. His wife, bless her heart, happens to be a big fan of mine and in return for my appearance at their wedding anniversary; he is opening the doors to us and no one else.

After a long conversation with him about the rules and regulations we had to follow, he informed me that Eric would be present to help make sure everything went smoothly. That would not be a problem because the part of the night when we would be alone, was going to be the highlight of it all.

I told myself I wouldn't do it, that I would not message Angela and ask her about Bella's reaction and if she was in fact coming at all. I had to know if she was coming, if she was on her way this very second. So, I sent Angela a text.

Ang, did you give Bella the letter yet? What did she say?

She got it, I'm just waiting for her to show up knocking at my door after she's read it. My bags already packed.

Do me a favor and send me a heads up when she leaves…please

I'll see what I can do.

I was pacing around the car, impatiently waiting to find out how my behavior has effected Bella's, when Eric cleared his throat and startled me from my agitated state.

"I take it Bella isn't in on this?"

"No," I shook my head and continued pacing. "I'm dreadfully anxious as to what her reaction is going to be." I turned back to the car I'd been pacing and started another trip around. "She hasn't tracked in over four years, I'm not entirely sure this is something she wants. I think it is. Sometimes, when she's driving, I can still see the glee in her eyes that I used to see when she was on this track. I want to bring that back into her life because I know, as I'm sure you know as well, how important it was to her."

I continued around the car, not caring if he was going to respond or not. I didn't care what anyone had to say, all that mattered was that Bella was happy. Although, some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing would be nice.

"She told me once that she was doing it to keep her mind off of something, or someone. Maybe she's happy now, and that's why she doesn't track anymore…because she doesn't need it."

I stared at him for a moment then shook my head, "No, she loved it too much." I began another trip around the car, once again but something pulled my sight away from the ground I was watching so attentively. Bella stood in the entryway of the track, the entrance that overlooks the track its self. Her eyes were nowhere but on me; chocolate dripping out of them and draining into my soul. She forgave me, there was nothing to forgive. She came.

A hint of a smile was palpable on her face as her hand floated to her side in a waving motion. She looked stunned and amazed gazing down at me and the current between us pulled like something tangible, a magnetic attraction. Her hand fell as did her gaze and she began the long descent to the track floor. I never took my eyes off of her, I couldn't. I tried, it felt awkward to stare at her as I was, but I could not pull myself away. Bella has me completely mesmerized by the mere sight of her. The walk from the end of the stairs was painful, I had to move towards her to close the gap between us.

"What is all of this?" She asked when she was close enough to me to do so without shouting. Before answering her, I wrapped her up in my arms and engrossed myself in her fragrance. Honey and Lilacs.

"This is my anniversary gift to you. I don't ever want you to feel like you have given anything up. Not for me. Not for Emilee. Not for anyone. You deserve so much more than this, but for now, Happy Anniversary."

"Edward," she breathed as she stepped away from me and towards the car she should have had a long time ago. "You didn't?"

I followed behind her and laced her hand with mine. "I did and you better not say I shouldn't have because we both know that would be a lie." She stopped abruptly and turned to face me, a smiled smothered with tears on her face.

"You absolutely should have," and she leapt into my waiting arms and wrapped her limbs around me. She held herself tight against me as I brought her closer to the car. When I was but five feet from it she let her feet fall from the death grip around my waist and I lowered her softly and safely to the ground.

"Hey Eric," she greeted him as she stood next to the car. "Looks like I got her after all huh," she referred to the Accord that now belongs to her.

"I knew there was a reason I held onto it for half a decade," he chuckled and they hugged. I don't know exactly how long it has been since they had seen one another but the last time Bella came to the track was before she found out she was pregnant. They were close back in those days, and he is another thing—or person rather—that should not be left behind with the things of our past that we let go.

"Hop in," he said and I grabbed the helmet that she held so tightly in her grasp. She released Eric and stood in front of me.

"You ready to take her for a spin," I said and positioned the helmet just over her head. She smiled excitedly as the helmet went over her head and I caught her hands with mine before they fell at her sides. I pulled them up to my lips, opening them flat out so I could kiss the pillow soft skin underneath. By far the sexiest pair of hands I have ever come into contact with. I inhaled the fragrance of honey and lilacs that always lingers, something I will never get enough of. She looked into my eyes and I felt the love and trust that mirrored my own. There has never been a single person that I have given all of my trust since Bella. She never lost it and she will forever and only be the one to hold it. Since the moment I saw her, back in the group home, I knew she was going to be a big part of my life. Something about the way she broke down and let me in, told me that she trusted me then as much as I truly wanted her to.

We were in the same room where we met, Bella had been letting me sit and talk to her, which was a big leap from the finger and the cold shoulder I was receiving during the previous month. She never said anything back and I tried not to push her but after so long of one-way conversations it gets tiresome and un-motivating. So, my last stitch effort was telling her how it was. I expected to get some kind of reaction out of her, something other than the nod of her shoulders or her pretty little middle finger in my face. What I got was far more than I ever anticipated.

"My mother and father left me when I was a baby, is that what you want to hear? That I stayed with my grandmother, who treated me more like a slave than family, until I was 10. That I was basically secluded to my room when I wasn't doing what she asked of me and my only escape was when I went to school. I don't have any friends because I don't know how to have and keep a relationship with anyone. That when she died they brought me here because my parents, even 10 years later, still did not want me. That I keep ending up back in this shit hole because I'm not good enough for any family. Is that what you want to talk about Edward, because if it is there you have it." Her eyes were tear stained and her voice was thick. She looked directly into my eyes as she spoke, a passion I did not expect to see in her shone as she let out her frustrations.

"If it makes you feel better, than yes. I only want to help you Bella," I tried to grab her hand but she snatched it away so fast I felt the breeze her hand in the air created.

"Don't," she said sternly, holding back her tears and trying with utter confidence to stay strong as she spoke her next words. "Don't try and be my friend Edward, because by doing that you're only going to cause me more pain. I have had enough people leave me, and to be honest, I'm sick and tired of it."

I kept her gaze until her face fell into her hands and she sniffled back her emotions still. My finger traced under her chin and she let her head go where I wanted it. When our eyes locked, I smiled and took in a ragged breath that her intense expression pulled out of me. "I will be here until you want otherwise. If you want me to go, I will, but if not let me know and I will not ever go anywhere. As long as I can help it, I will be here for you."

Her eyelids fell and she rested her head in my hands. I studied the fine sculpture of her face, her long lashes that were saturated from tears and the dimple in her cheek when her lips quivered from those same tears that fell onto my hand. Her long, brown, unkempt hair that stuck to her face from the precipitation was gorgeous in every way. She sighed in my hand and her eyes fluttered open as if she were adjusting to the light from the window.

"Do you want me to leave Bella?" I asked her directly and I hated thinking she was going to say yes. I regretted asking the moment the words came out of my mouth.

"Yes," she said in a whisper, "is what I should say." She looked up and out the window, her eyes squinting from the rays coming in, "but I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't." I moved to sit beside her and rested my arm around her shoulders. I was shocked when I felt her body relax into me and it didn't pass my notice that she fit so comfortably against me. Her fragrance also did not slip my mind, I caught it instantly and have never forgotten.

Honey and lilacs.

Bella climbed into the car and I put my head in after her. "Now, it's been a while Bella. Don't push yourself too hard because I don't know what I'd do if you were to ever get hurt."

"Don't jinx me Edward, you better knock on some wood." She crinkled her nose and looked around the car. She found a napkin between the seat and the center counsel and pulled it out. "here, this is better than nothing." She held it out the window and I knocked on it, the best I could.

"I love you my Bella, I will always be waiting for you at the finish line." I retracted my head out of the window and Bella looked out and up at me through the helmet sun visor.

"And I will always be racing there to get to you, don't ever forget that."

BPOV

Edward is good at many things and wooing me is one of them. He is such a romantic and that's just one of the many wonderful things I adore about him. He pays attention to the little things, the little things that truly bring happiness to our lives and our relationship.

I expected something, track related, when I opened the gift he had left for me in the limo. What my hands pulled out was a fresh helmet with my initials BMC on the side in graffiti writing. Looking at the initials and thinking about Edward, I thought about back when we first found out we were having a baby. We were telling each other things that we thought couples in our situation ought to know about one another. Edward told me about his life before I met him at the group home. I knew it was bad, but I never knew the extent of the situation.

"My mother was a saint in comparison to my father. I remember her always getting on me about moving the center pieces around on the coffee table. They were these square shaped lace pieces that had fake flowers in plastic pots sitting in the middle of them." Edward was sitting on one side of the bench and I was sitting on another. We were in front of our apartment, the one that used to be just mine. "She smoked pot, probably every day, but she took care of me. I was seven when it happened. By then she was too scared to smoke, too scared of falling asleep before my dad fell flat on his face. My dad was a lot different from my mother, but the same as having an addictive personality, which ironically is where I get my own addictive personality. Except my addiction is the very best thing for me…not worse." He winked, even in his down stupor. I could sense that he did not like reliving his past, which is probably why I had not heard this story until now. "He drank a lot, to the point he would black out and everything was a blur to him the next morning. We forgave him at first, at least my mother did, I was too little to understand at the time. When I turned five, I started to notice the things he did to her and I started interfering. He was mentally cruel and physically abusive to my mother but never to me. He pushed me once but that was nothing compared to what my mother went through every night."

He was quiet for a while and I took in all he said. It made sense, now, why he wanted to help me and protect me. It's what he did for his mother so it was built into his psyche. After I could not stand the silence any longer, I asked him what happened when he was seven and this is what he told me.

"Me and my mom were at home by ourselves late at night, as usual, and we had just gotten done eating dinner and doing the dishes. I always helped my mom do them because her back hurt her a lot and being hunched over doing the dishes was no walk in the park for her. Though a walk in the park by then wouldn't have been an easy task to accomplish either. We were used to being alone at night; my dad was always at the bar, and spending what little money we did have on booze. I fell asleep with my mother on my bed, which is what usually happened. I never minded that she fell asleep with me in attempts to avoid my father, if my presence kept him from hurting her than I wanted to be nowhere else. I woke up to the front door slamming. It echoed through my bedroom door. My mother had me held tight against her and we both watched the light coming from under the door with wide anticipated eyes. My father stood at the door for some time, making my mother cringe and scoot further under the covers. I was seven, and I was pissed that my mother had to feel so frightened by my father. I was mad that he put us through the same fucking thing day in and day out." Edward was speaking in such a way I don't think I have ever witnessed. He was angry and saddened about his mother and father, about bringing all of this back to the surface, and I didn't want to see him go through the pain anymore. I couldn't take it, just watching him suffer was worse than anything I have ever observed. Before I could tell him he didn't need to explain anything more, he continued.

"When the door finally opened we were both immersed in the blanket. After we heard his footsteps coming toward us, the blanket suddenly lifted off us and my father grabbed my mother by her wrist and yanked her out of my bed. She released her hold on me the moment his hand touched her. I was left on the bed to watch my father drag her out of the room, kicking and screaming. It was horrible Bella, just terrible. I was helpless, I tried to fight him but it only made things worse."

The tone in his voice trailed off to a sigh and he leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he leaned his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and we just stared out at the scene for a while. I didn't want to know what happened anymore, especially if it was going to bring out the pain I saw in Edward's eyes. Nothing that terrible is worth reliving. Without getting the chance to tell him I didn't need to know what happened, he beat me to it.

"My father shot my mother that night. He pointed at me and told me that life was going to do the same to me as it had done to him. He held the gun up to his head and then pulled the trigger."

I was jolted from the memory and thrown back into reality when the limo stopped. I had to blink a few times until I saw where we were. My door swung open and I stepped out, carrying the helmet and nothing else. I thought about the many occasions I came to this place, how many times just being here lifted my spirits and gave me guidance. My safe haven, pre-Edward.

I walked down the recognizable halls that were no longer, as I remembered them. There were pictures on the wall of professionals and the place was a lot nicer than it once was. The smell was familiar, a light scent of exhaust and gasoline. Not intolerable, but it was definitely there. I continued through the closed concession stands and headed down the entrance to the main track. The lights were all off except the one directly above the starting line, and when I reached the balconies edge, I could see Edward and Eric talking beside the car that was once destined to be mine.

I watched Edward run his hands through his hair more times than I would have liked to see. That only meant one thing; he is nervous or panicking. But before I could put much thought into it, he looked up at me from the track floor, as if I called out his name. When our eyes met I couldn't get to him fast enough, though I took my time getting down the stairs. Once on solid ground, I didn't hesitate to reach him. I could see it in his eyes, how much he wanted to be near me and that only quickened my pulse.

When I opened the box that held the helmet, it never entered the realm of my mind that Edward might have bought me a car. Not just any car, but the car that I had every intention on buying back when track racing was a big part of my life. She still looks the same, and not a scratch on her.

Seeing Eric was nice, nicer than I anticipated it would be. I didn't think I missed him that much but I guess time only makes the heart grow fonder.

My routine when getting behind the wheel of the track car was always this. All of my cooped up aggression, worries, fears and sadness I brought to the forefront of my mind. I let it eat through me one last time because just like the pavement under the tires, disappearing in the rearview mirror, so was my pent up frustrations. Every notch the speedometer inched closer to top speed, a little bit of the weight gets lifted off.

But today, in this time of my life there is nothing to bring. Nothing to throw behind me. So I took Edwards words to heart and raced faster and faster toward the finish line, to Edward.

That night, our fourth anniversary, was the start of a downfall. It may have been an amazing, my kind of fairy tale night, but it was too good to be true. The rest of the year was booming for Edward, people wanted him to play all around the United States. He was even invited to the White House to play for the president. Emilee and I tagged along. We tagged along anytime he had to go out of town for more than a few days. When Emilee started school, I chose to stay home so she could attend a normal school. That was probably one of the better decisions I've made since.

Edward has been so busy making a name for himself, he doesn't have much time for us anymore. He's told me that this time in our lives is only temporary and that things will get better. I know what he's doing has to be done for the sake of his profession, but I can't and won't sit back and say I'm having a good time.

If it wasn't for Nick I don't know what I would do.

Nick is one of Edward's dueling friends, well, was one of them before Edward quit Lulu's full-time. He still goes there and duels every Saturday night when he is able, but other than that he is strictly professional. Nick and Edward were great friends, and I guess you can say they still are, but our friendship has bonded and molded into something greater than theirs ever was or ever could possibly be. He is always here for me, when Edward is gone and I need someone to make me feel safe, Nick is there. The bonds with my sisters are still strong as ever, but Nick is an outsider, someone who sees things from a different perspective.

He sees Edward's views along with my own and doesn't side with either one. He gives his own opinions and helps me to see the logic behind something I couldn't see before. If not for Nick, I don't think I would have made it through the fifth and sixth anniversaries. I thank God he came into our lives when he did…but all good things must come to an end.

It's been a while y'all. I truly cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this one. Bad cliff hanger I know and I will do my absolute best to update as soon as I can. I hate waiting for updates just as much as the next person so ya, it shouldn't be too long. I feel like we are in the final stages of this story, two, three possibly four more chapters and we'll be saying goodbye to SH. These next few chapters are my way of saying thank you for all the time and thoughts you have put into this story. I know the cliff hanger doesn't seem like much of a thank you but you'll see, just trust me. Thank you all for you reviews, and as always, thank you from the deepest part of my heart, to Scrimmy for being so wonder during this time. I cannot imagine what you are going through. You are in my thoughts IMAMA....

Back to homework I go and please leave me your thoughts....I would love to hear them....