Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Character: Addison&Derek Rating: PG
Status: In progress (Chapter 2 – Broken trust and broken hearts)
Disclaimer: The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me. The title belongs to the Shontelle; it's a line from "Impossible". That's such an Addek song, if you ask me.
Author's Note: Second chapter of the story "All I know is that the end's beginning". English is not my first language and considering that it's Christmas Time I haven't asked my beta-reader to check on this fic because I didn't want to bother her, so please be nice. LOL

-Chapter 2-

Broken trust and broken hearts.

Derek opened his eyes three hours later. His head was spinning, his eyes were hurting and his heart was broken. Derek didn't really sleep, he tried to rest a little but the pain was just so real that he couldn't fall asleep. He tossed and turned in the bed, refusing to get up.

A weak light pierced into the bedroom through the shutter, letting him know that it was time to get up. Derek took a quick shower, got dressed, paid the room and left the hotel. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to see Addison, he wanted to leave and to be left alone.

The weather was pretty cold but he didn't care. He quickly jumped in his car and went to the hospital, trying not to think that his life was falling apart. Derek stopped at the traffic lights and then he saw it: under the passenger' seat there was a little black bag. It was Addison's bag. Seeing it felt like a punch in the face: thinking about his wife hurt him too much. He just couldn't understand her, for him it was like the Addison he knew was gone. Derek couldn't help it but, as broken as he was, he didn't want to be Addison's husband anymore.

Addison left her house because she needed to go to work. She hadn't sleep a minute but still, she had to deliver babies. Addison wanted to talk to the Chief, she needed one or two days off. She needed time on her own, she needed to think about her life, she had decisions to take.

While driving to the hospital, Addison tried not to think about Derek but she just couldn't. The golden band on her finger reminded her of everything they had been through as a couple, as husband and wife, as Addison and Derek. She didn't want to admit that her marriage was over, she needed to believe that they still had a chance.

Arrived at the Hospital's parking lot, Addison looked for Derek's car. It wasn't there. Of course it wasn't there, she thought. Addison was the last person Derek wanted to see and she perfectly knew it. Trying not to cry, she entered in the Hospital to start her workday.

At the end of the day, Addison asked for two days off and the Chief, seeing how she was feeling, agreed. Addison left the Chief's office and walked to the elevator; she entered in it and pushed the stop button. The elevator stopped with its doors closed and Addison got down on her knees and started to cry. She had been strong all day but now, she needed to let the pain go.

Silent tears streamed down her face, she took off her wedding ring and looked at it. She remembered the vows they promised each other so many years ago and realizing that everything was just gone was painful.

Addison cried for an undefined time, then she got up, cleaned her face with a tissue and pushed the button again. The elevator started to move but it stopped one floor below, the doors slowly opened and Addison and Derek met each other.

"Oh…" she whispered.

"I'll take the stairs" he said, unable to look at her.

"Derek, wait!" she begged him but Derek was already gone.

Over. It was over. Derek didn't want to see her, even if all she asked was a second chance.

When Derek saw Addison in the elevator, a sting hit him. He couldn't look at her in the eyes but she surely wasn't fine. She looked messy and about to have a breakdown and Derek knew that he had his faults too; seeing her once again didn't make him change his mind, though. What Addison didn't know was that Derek had just quit his job and he was going home to take some clothes and leave for good. Derek hadn't decided his destination yet, he just wanted to leave as soon as possible. He needed to leave New York, Addison, Mark, his marriage behind. A new life was all he needed in that very moment.

Derek looked shattered, Addison thought. He hadn't shaved that morning, his wavy hair was all messed, his eyes sad, his voice distant and angry. Addison felt more guilty, if that's even possible, but there was nothing more she could do. She couldn't wait to go home and take a warm bath to wash all her troubles away.

Addison arrived at home really quickly. She entered in the house, it was cold inside and it was like all the pain and the sadness were still lingering in there. The redhead took off her coat, turned all the heaters on and poured herself a glass of red wine. She grabbed the bottle of wine and her wedding picture and sat on the couch in the living-room, trying to relax.

They looked so happy in the picture: her red hair was long and slightly curled, her eyes were so intense and happy, they were sparkling like shiny little stars. Both Addison and Derek were smiling, they were so young and in love with each other. She remembered that day like it was yesterday, she could still feel the happiness and the joy of the best day of her life.

She took off her wedding ring and put it on the table next to the couch. She looked at it one last time, then put the wedding picture on her lap and closed her eyes. Memories and moments of their life together started dancing in her head; the more she drank the more her head spun.

The door slammed but she didn't notice it. Addison was still sitting on the couch, her knees up to her chest, her head on her knees, the bottle of wine and the glass both empty. She didn't hear those quick steps on the floor but the voice of somebody familiar made her realize that she wasn't alone in the house anymore.

"I'm just gonna take some clothes and I'll leave" a male voice said out loud.

It was Derek. She could have recognized his voice among thousands of voices. Addison tried to stand up but her head spun even more faster; she tried again, slower this time and fell on the floor.

Derek wanted to do this as soon as possible. Addison's car was outside, so she was in the house. He didn't want to talk to her, he didn't want to hear her fucking apologies, he just wanted to pack his clothes and disappear forever.

He didn't get any answer. He thought Addison was sleeping but that loud noise let him know that she was somewhere in the house and, certainly, she wasn't asleep. "Addison, where are you?" he yelled.

They had a huge house, too big for two people. When they had bought it, they wanted to have kids and start a family together. They used to imagine little redhead kids with dreamy smiles on their faces. He shook his head, sending away those painful memories.

"Li… Living-room" she whispered in a weird way.

This wasn't her voice, he thought. Derek could hear Addison mumbling some random words downstairs and then he got it: his wife was drunk. She had only gotten drunk twice in her life: when she graduated from Med School and when she lost her first patient. He knew why she was drunk now and even if his head was saying him no, he followed his heart and went downstairs.

Derek found Addison sitting on the floor, her back leaned on the couch. He turned on the lights and only in that very moment he realized how broken and devastated she was: an empty bottle and empty glass on the table, some drops of red wine on the Persian carpet on the floor, his wife all messed up and totally drunk sitting on the floor with their wedding picture in her right hand.

"Addison…" he started. He didn't know what to say and even in that moment he couldn't look at her in the eyes.

"Leave… Leave me… Alone" she couldn't really speak because she was too drunk in order to do it.

"Yes, I'm just… Packing my things"

"Derek… What?" she was rubbing her head, trying to focus on what he was saying.

"Addison, I'm leaving. I need some time on my own."

"Look at me, Derek." She ordered him.

Derek tried to look at her in the eyes but he couldn't, he was scared to meet her eyes.

Addison summoned all the strength she had and stood up. Slowly she walked to Derek, grabbed his face in her hands and forced him to look at her in the eyes.

Their eyes met and it was a whirl of emotions, feelings and pain.

"Don't go, please" she begged him.

"You broke my heart, Addison! You slept with my best friend, you betrayed me!" his tone was higher now.

"It's.. It's my fault, ok?" tears started streaming down her face.

"I… I have to go."

Then something unexpected happened. Addison hugged Derek, her arms surrounded his body, holding him tight. For just one second Derek felt safe in his wife's arms but then he harshly pushed her away.

He turned left, he was about to leave the room when he noticed the ring on the table. Derek looked at it, he took it in his hands and played a little with it. Addison realized that neither Derek was wearing his ring; she knew that she would have regretted this for the rest of her life, but she also knew that this was the only possible thing she could do right now.

"Derek.. I… I'll send you the divorce papers the day after tomorrow" now, she couldn't look at him in the eyes, so she stared at the little red drops on the very expensive Persian carpet under her bare feet.

Her words hit him like a punch in his stomach, he skipped an heartbeat, he couldn't feel the ground under his feet anymore. This came totally unexpected because the day before she wanted to fix things and now she wanted to divorce; this wasn't like her.

"You're drunk, Addison" he said.

"Are you surprised, Derek?" Addison started "You don't want to give me a second chance, you don't want to give me the possibility to make things right, you're not wearing your wedding ring anymore." She looked at him straight in the eyes and yelled at him "Last night you told me that we're done, Derek!"

"I'm broken, ok?" he yelled, louder than her "I've never felt this way before! I trusted you, I trusted Mark and what did I get? You and him in bed together! Come on!" Derek was getting nervous.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Derek" she took a deep breath, trying to send the tears away "There's always a way to fix things! Just let me find the right way to do it…"

"Mark was my best friend, Addison!"

"I'm sorry, Derek, I'm sorry" she wasn't screaming anymore, she was crying and whispering.

Seeing her down like that broke him even more. He needed to go right now, things were getting complicated and he didn't want to see her suffering like that. It was something too painful to handle. He started walking away and said "Send me the divorce papers, I'll sign them."

Derek left the house without getting his clothes. Addison heard his car leaving and she felt like that was the last time she would have ever seen her husband.