"How is she doing?" Snape asked when he returned, as promised, in three hours.

"She's passed out though by the looks of it, the pain hasn't stopped. She was trashing around in the bed, crying and whimpering depending on her strength and the pain." "And she smells awful."

"I coupled the venom with an element of Beechbur blood," Snape said. The Beechbur was a magical animal with a phenomenal immune system that emitted any foreign substance from its body through its skin. There was not one known Beechbur death caused by sickness, although plenty had been killed in attempts to harness its healing powers. Very few had the talent to do it. "If it works, her body's pushing the venom out through her skin."

"What do you mean if it works?" Lupin asked.

"Waper antidotes are all theoretical," Snape said in his condescending, of-course-you-didn't-know-that voice. "Personally, I've never known anyone that has lived long enough to acquire it. I've been experimenting, of course, but nothing I would put my name to."

"Nothing – you would – Merlin's beard, you were experimenting on her?"

"Once again, I see how much you love her," Snape said sarcastically. "A Bezoar isn't strong enough to combat a Waper bite on its own. You know that perfectly well. Would you rather I simply not have tried?"

"Of course not, I'm sorry if I sound ungrateful."

"That's alright," Snape said, stunned to hear an apology from any of the four marauders, although if it was going to be any of them, it would have been Lupin.

Lupin brought his legs up, folding them against his chest and wrapping his arms around them, propping his chin against his knees. "And if it's worth anything now, I'm sorry for all the crap we gave you about Lily."

It was so out-of-nowhere that Snape gaped at Lupin for a few seconds, wondering if he had misheard him; apparently not. "What made you think of that?" he asked, bitterly remembering how cruel James and Sirius had been over his feelings for Lily. OK, so Lupin had been the least nasty about it, but he had done nothing to stop James and Sirius, and he had gotten a few digs of his own in.

"Something that Molly said about not understanding how I could feel the way I do about her, when I've known her since she was eight. It reminded me of the things we said about how it was natural to love someone you'd known as kids."

"You didn't exactly say it like that," Snape reminded him, but it was in a very un-Snape voice. He actually sounded interested in what Lupin had to say.

"Well, I'm trying to say now that I didn't understand and we – that is to say I– was wrong to say what I did."

The apology – even sympathy – had opened a door into Snape's soul. "I miss her every day," he admitted. "It's so easy to look back and see all the things I could have done differently. And I can't say anything because no-one believes I felt the way I did. I bet Molly thought it was creepy."

Lupin let that one slide for the truth it was. Instead he focused on the fact that he and Snape actually understood each other, at least when it came to what it felt like to love someone you couldn't have and have no-one take you seriously. "I can't believe we finally have something in common," he said.

Snape flashed something that almost passed for a grin in Snape's language. "Don't tell anyone," he said.

"Remus!"

"I'm here, love." Lupin had been dozing in the chair – he had transformed it into a comfy one-person sofa chair days ago – when he was abruptly woken by her calling his name. It wasn't like he slept much anyway, catching a few minutes at a time when she would stop whimpering for a while. He had taken on the sole responsibility of watching her, changing the sheets and washing her as best he could while respecting her privacy.

Her grip around his fingers was surprisingly tight as her fingers scratched against his hand in desperation for contact. "Remus," she cried again.

"I'm here," he repeated. But she kept searching out for him with her fingers, searching for the contact. He was flattered. A few days ago she had said she hated him and would rather die before they got back together. Now, she was constantly calling out for him in her pain and delirium and calming at his touch.

And now some part of her subconscious wanted more than her hand held.

He got out of the chair and walked over the other side of the bed, stripping off his shirt as he went. He crawled into bed with her, unbuttoning her shirt down to the thin camisole she wore underneath. Easing the shirt off her shoulders, he turned her on her side and started spooning her, his inhumanely high body heat penetrating the thin material of her top. He tangled his legs through hers and wrapped one arm around her waist and slid the other under her face. "I'm here, love," he repeated, trying to ignore the smell of toxins that were still emitting from her body. He gritted his teeth. Only for you, love, he thought. And he found it was easier than he had thought as she settled in his arms, moulding her body against his, her unconscious cries of pain ceasing for the longest time since she had been bitten, and he fell asleep with her in his arms for the longest stretch of sleep he'd gotten since she'd been bitten.

"Remus?"

"Go away," Lupin mumbled, his instinct not to let Molly or whoever it was interrupt his wonderful dream where Tonks was in his arms where she belonged. He rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head.

"Remus?"

It took him a few more seconds to realise it was Tonks saying his name. And it was phrased as a question, not a desperate cry. Lupin threw the pillow across the room in his over-exuberance to toss it away and turned to face her. She was lying on her side, watching him. He stared at her for a few seconds then reached for his dagger, pressing the sharp end into his skin. It immediately started smoking and he dropped it. "Remus! What d'you think you're doing?" Tonks asked him, weakly but perfectly clearly.

"Wanted to see I wasn't dreaming," he said.

"So you stick yourself with a knife?" she asked incredulously. "And how come it started smoking?"

"Because the blade is pure silver."

"Really?" Her eyes danced with intelligence as she processed that information. Made sense, really. Lupin hated most werewolves, and was perfectly willing to kill any of them that maliciously hurt humans, so it made sense that he would carry around a weapon intended for killing them, even if it was merely symbolic. "Can I've a go?" She reached for the dagger.

"Tonks!" he yelled at her, too happy to see her awake and coherent to care much that she was fascinated by the thought of hurting him. She reached over him, trying to get to the blade, and he pushed her onto her back. The effort had left her panting, he realised. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Weak," she admitted. "And sore, so sore. Everything aches and I feel like I have the worst hangover of my life. The time I drank a whole bottle of fire whisky after you left me? I would totally trade now for that."

He reached out and stroked her hair. "I'm going to take care of you," he said. "Until you get better."

Until I get better. That sounded oddly paternal. She could have been Ginny or Hermione for all the passion in his voice. The last thing she distinctly remembered was her telling him that she hated him after he had forced that stuff down her throat – aided and abetted by the reviled Snape, no less – and that she would rather die than be with him. Had he taken her words to heart? Was his only concern for her now for her physical health as a member of The Order of the Phoenix?

She swallowed her questions and smiled bravely. "I'd really love a bath," she admitted.

"OK. I'll get Molly to help you."

"I don't need someone to supervise my bath, Remus."

"Really? Sit up," he commanded her. She struggled to sit up. He met her eyes and she knew he was silently counting. One... two... three... she felt her back strain with the effort and focused all her somewhat-weakened metamophmagus abilities on showing a poker face. Four... five... six... her body cried out in exhaustion and she knew she was trembling with the effort. Seven... eight... panting with the effort, she flopped back down on the bed. "You can't stay up for ten seconds," he admonished her gently. "I'm not leaving you alone in the bath. What happens if you collapse and hit your head? I didn't stay with you for four days to have you kill yourself after you came to."

"Four days?" she echoed.

"Four days," he repeated. "Snape saved your life, you know. He gave you the bezoar that bought you time and create a potion that's never been tested before. I just kept your company."

He must care, Tonks thought wildly. He must care if he stayed up for four days. She had a vague memory last night of needing him, of reaching out for him and wanting more than his hand... and she'd woken up this morning in his arms. You didn't just strip down to provide body contact for someone you didn't care about... did you?

"Will you stay with me, then?" she asked. "If I put my bikini on? It's not like it's anything you haven't seen before, anyway," she added.

Something tells me your body looks a hell of a lot better now than it did when you were seventeen, Lupin thought. He didn't particularly want the temptation of being close to Tonks in her bikini... but he was well aware that that was her compromise, and she wouldn't take a bath any other way. "Deal," he agreed reluctantly. "If you let me let Molly clean this place up. She's almost as good as your mum when it comes to getting a place ship-shape, certainly better than either of us." Tonks nodded her assent and Lupin quickly slipped on his shirt and left the room.

He stopped outside the door, leaning against it to gather his thoughts. Tonks had come to! She would survive! Well, so long as she didn't underestimate her strength after such an ordeal and kill herself of exhaustion. Grinning wildly, he bolted down the stairs, too over-the-moon to stop and think about Apparating. "Molly!" he yelled as he went. "Molly! She's awake! Tonks is awake!"

Molly, as usual, was in the kitchen, which she seemed to have made as her office even when she wasn't cooking. Her eyes went wide with pleasurable surprise when Lupin told her this. "When?" she asked.

"Just now;she woke me up, actually. She wants a bath."

Molly understood. Or at least, she thought she understood. She doubted Tonks was in a state to have a bath unsupervised, and figured that was what Lupin was asking of her. "I'll be right there," she said, abandoning her plans for lunch – they could all fix their own sandwiches. "I have some great bath potions, they'll make her feel like a million Galleons."

Lupin found himself blushing at this. "She wants me to supervise her," he said, the added, "in her bikini. Wouldn't accept any other solution, I was actually hoping you would freshen the room up in the meantime. I mean, look at what you've done with this place."

That was true enough. The Black house had improved infinitely under Molly's housewife care. She accepted the compliment, but still eyed him suspiciously. "You're not going to try anything, are you?" she couldn't help but ask.

"Molly! As if I'm going to come onto someone who can't sit up for ten seconds. Besides," he added, a touch bitterly. "She told me she hated me."

"Can't say I blame her; if you'd conscripted Snape to hold me down and pour that revolting muck down my throat, I'd say it too," Molly said. "Doesn't mean she meant it, well, maybe at the time. But yes, I will help you. And I'm sure the poor girl is starving, too. But make sure you tell Snape before anything else, or he's likely to find out his own way and then come barging in. No, wait, he's at Hogwarts. I'll get a message to Kingsley, I don't trust the security of communications at that school while Umbridge is there."

Molly did just that and then Apparated upstairs with Lupin. He knocked on the door. "Are you decent?" he asked.

"Yes," she called back.

He opened the door. From across the room, he could tell that she had worn herself out just getting on her bikini and, for good measure, a sundress over the top of it. It amused him that she had done it because she didn't want to be that undressed in front of Molly, but she was willing to do so in front of Lupin. "Darling," Molly said, rushing forward to greet her. "Oh, I can't believe it. We all thought – I mean, we hoped – but we knew the odds – oooh," she cried, hugging her tightly.

"Careful," Lupin said mildly. "She's got the strength of a kitten." Reluctantly, Molly let her go, still crying. "You go have a bath, you deserve it," she said. "I'll make this place just as comfy as home."

Lupin scooped her off the bed, and she wrapped her arms weakly around his neck, pressing the side of her head against his chest, relishing the feel of his faster-than-average heartbeat. At one point, it had irritated her to no end how Charlie's body felt so cold, his heartbeat too slow, before she had realised that she had always been comparing to him Lupin's supernatural physiology. Lupin was her first love, her only love, and everyone else would always pale in comparison.

He laid her on the floor. "Sorry," he said when she shivered when the cold from the marble tiles went straight through her thin dress. He waved his wand at the bath and summoned up steaming hot water. "Give me ten seconds; I'll get you something to change into."

He walked back into the bedroom. "Thought you might want those," Molly said, waving at the dresser where pyjamas, a dressing gown, slippers and what Lupin assumed were some kind of bath solution.

"What did you do to these?" he asked enviously when he felt how soft and clean the pyjamas felt.

Molly shrugged. "Basic clothes cleaning spell," she said. "I actually learnt it from Andromeda. Which I guess Tonks never did."

He went back into the bathroom, taking the book he was reading with him for good measure. Maybe if he had something to occupy himself he wouldn't just sit there staring at her in her bikini. "Sorry about that," he said. "Molly did something to your clothes. Something about a basic cleaning spells."

She grinned. "Mum always tried to teach me it. She figured I might learn if she just stopped doing it for me, but I never did."

He put her clothes on the top of the basin and kneeled on the floor next to her. "Tell me if I'm making you feel awkward," he said huskily, thinking that he was starting to feel pretty awkward. He loosened her sundress and pulled it over her head so she was sitting on the floor clad only in her bikini, shivering slightly. "Put your arms around my neck," he directed, and she did so, and he lifted her up and over into the bath. "Feeling warmer?" he asked. She nodded. "You just, um, your thing and ask if you need a hand."

"Can you pass me that bottle?" she asked, jerking her head towards the basin. Lupin retrieved it for her and, on her directions, poured it into the bath. Instantly the room smelled like jasmine. "Oooh, this was one that my mum created," she said happily. "Now, summon the bubbles. I don't have my wand on me."

"How do I do that?"

"You're such a guy," she teased, and his heart flipped at the sight of that smile. "Accio bubbles." He repeated the charm and a myriad of bubbles appeared in the bath. "Oooh, that feels so good," she said. She could feel the muck on her skin melting away and indulgently slipped down into the foam.

"Watch it, love," Lupin said mildly. "I don't want to have to come in after you." So Tonks obediently kept her head above the water, although Lupin could see her start to slip and then pull herself back up with increasing frequency. "I think it's time to get out," he said after fifteen minutes.

"Nooo..." she protested. "Please, Remus, this feels so good."

"You're really weak, love. You can't afford to overestimate yourself. No-one knows how far you can push yourself."

To her shame, she started to cry, but she felt so disgusting and so achy and the hot bubble bath felt so good that she wasn't willing to get out just yet. And Lupin had never had the heart to see her cry. "I'll do a minor levitation spell," he offered reluctantly. "But when I get tired, that's it, OK?" She nodded agreeably and he performed the spell.

Since he had to focus on maintaining the spell and couldn't read his book, he had no option but to keep his eyes on her. Christ, but she was even more beautiful weak and ill then she had been when she had been seventeen and screaming at him. "You want me to do that?" he found himself offering against his better judgement when he saw that she was struggling to drag the washcloth over herself. She could clean herself without needing magic, but there was a wonderful tactile feeling in the physical act and God knew, she needed to feel good.

She nodded and he tilted her forward slightly so he could wash her neck and back. Her skin felt so perfect under his fingers and he longed the discard the cloth and rub her neck in a decidedly loverly way. But she had told him that she hated him and would rather die than get back together with him, and besides, what kind of monster would he be if he made a move on someone who could barely keep herself upright for a few minutes, let alone fend off unwanted advances? "This from your mum?" he asked when he saw the thin scar across the base of her neck. She nodded slightly. "I'm sorry," he said.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I knew how angry she was. I shouldn't have left you alone with her. I was a coward."

"You weren't a coward, Remus. Actually, you were right all along. I shouldn't have pushed you into getting involved with me. I should have waited at least. But I guess it doesn't matter now."

"I guess not." I hate you. I'd rather die. The words kept echoing in his head. "You want me to wash your hair while I'm at it?" he offered, trying to veer the mood off the sad, reflective tone it seemed to have gotten onto. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he kicked himself. Because washing a woman's hair wasn't intimate at all.

"I'd like that," she said. "It feels like straw."

"It doesn't," he replied. "Trust me, I know." Despite himself, he remembered how she'd felt in his arms, her hair some outrageous colour draped just below her shoulders, his fingers twisting and stroking through it.

Half an hour later, he knew he couldn't keep the spell up and insisted that she had to get out. He wrapped her up in a large towel. "You think you can get yourself dressed or you want me to get Molly?"

She didn't want Molly to ruin their time alone together; she would rather painstakingly dress himself. She snuggled into pyjamas and the robe, feeling clean and warm. Fifteen minutes later Lupin came back in. "How do I look?" she asked.

"A hell of a lot better then you did a day ago," he said approvingly. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to bed. The smell of fresh flowers and fresh air hit her immediately. "Molly's doing," he explained. "She really outdid herself. Though I supposed fresh flowers are something of a waste when you have six boys. And she left you lunch, too. She wasn't sure what you needed – carbs, protein or sugar – so she made you a feast to cover all bases."

Her stomach grumbled and her mouth watered when she saw the massive tray Molly had left on the dresser. Spaghetti and meatballs, mashed potatoes whipped with cream, a crisp fresh salad and a huge slice of pecan pie. He tucked her under the duvet and passed the tray over to her. She ate as quickly as her weak arms would allow her to shovel food into her mouth. "Slow down, I'm sure she'll make you more if you're still hungry," he said. "You haven't eaten in four days; you don't want to swell your stomach."

Obediently, Tonks ate slower, but still polished everything else. "How are you feeling?" he asked solicitously.

"Tired," she admitted.

"You should rest then. You don't want to overdo yourself."

She snuggled down under the covers. "Remus," she murmured sleepily. "Will you stay with me? I felt so safe with you close by."

Better than you telling me you hated me, he thought. He walked around the other side of the bed and slid in beside her, drawing her into his arms. She certainly smelt a lot better than she had last night. Too good, really, it brought all the memories flooding back. "We never spent the night together, you know," she murmured sleepily as she settled into his arms, thinking along the same lines as he was. "You always made me go back home or to Hogwarts. I started to think you didn't really want to."

"If it means anything now, I wanted it more than anything," Lupin whispered in her ear.

"It means more then you can possibly think it does." She wriggled comfortably in his arms and it was as if the last six years had never happened and she was seventeen years old, lying in her lover's arms after a highly satisfying session in bed. "Remus?" she asked, even more sleepily.

"Yeah?"

"Can you wake me up for dinner? I want to see everyone."

"If that's what you want," he lied. He had no intention of waking her for anything if she was asleep. The Order could wait until tomorrow; her health couldn't.

He fell into a deep sleep, uninterrupted by her cries of pain and feeling more comfortable than he cared to admit with her lying in his arms. He woke early in the evening, with her still sound asleep, and got out of bed, leaving her to her recovery.

People were just sitting down to dinner – he did a quick head count, and almost the entire Order was there, Lupin suspected everyone who could get away from other commitments had descended on the place – and conversation stopped dead when they saw him. "She's sleeping peacefully," he said, and there was a collective sigh of relief. In the spirit of forgiveness, he turned to Snape. "You saved her life," he said, in full hearing of everyone. "Thank you." Snape shuffled awkwardly.

Alastor Moody stood up and cocked his head towards the door to a nearby room. Lupin knew better than to argue with him. In light of Dumbledore's frequent and length absences, he became the unofficial Head of the Order. Lupin followed Moody into the room, and Moody shut the door with his want, sealing it with an Imperturbable Charm for good measure – he was well aware of the abilities of the Weasley family to lurk, sneak and spy, particularly the twins. "Kingsley and I have spoken," he said, and Lupin knew this wasn't going to end well. Kingsley was Tonks's boss. "Andromeda and Ted need to be informed."

"I don't see why," Lupin said coolly. "She's an adult, in case any of you have missed the last six years." "

Don't act like a child," Moody said. "They're her parents. And I thought you and Andromeda made your peace."

"We did. But she makes her sister look like a hands-off mother. She'll be storming the place to snatch her back the second you tell them."

"With all the unplottable spells Sirius has put on this place? I don't think so. And just so you know, Sirius agreed with me. They have a right to know. You'd want to know if it was your daughter."

"I wouldn't have beaten the crap out of her for her choice of boyfriends," Lupin countered.

"So is that what this is about? A turf war?" Lupin mumbled something that he thought was unintelligible and Moody grinned. He'd had extensive magical equipment inserted in his ears and could beat Lupin in the supernatural hearing stakes. "You may very well win in a turf war, but is that what you want?"

"No," he admitted.

"Then surely you can understand it's in your best interest for them to be told. I was going to send Kingsley to talk to them. They trust him. He'll make sure they know what you did for her."

Moody's words were punctuated by a terrified scream coming from Tonks's room. There was a chaotic sound of confusion and footsteps coming from outside the room Lupin and Moody were in. Lupin reacted quickly and Apparated straight up to the room, getting there first. His heart was in his throat as he thought that maybe she had relapsed – it wasn't like they knew anything about recovering from a waper bite – before he realised that she was bolt upright in bed and very much conscious. He wrenched her into his arms. "I'm here, love," he said, holding her tightly.

"I dreamed – it was on me – couldn't get it off –" she sobbed brokenly.

He buried his face in her hair. "It was just a nightmare," he murmured soothingly. "Just a nightmare. You're OK, love."

"You said you wouldn't leave," she sobbed into his chest.

He hadn't said that exactly, but he wasn't about to contradict her. Besides, she was coming around to reality enough to address him coherently. "I know, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I won't leave you again."

There seemed something binding about those words, something strangely, hauntingly, promisingly binding. At that moment, the door burst open, with Molly at the front of the pack of concerned Order members. Lupin was surprised he was the only one who had thought to Apparate straight into the room. Too late he remembered Molly had a rule about it; a resident Den Mother of the HQ, she would tolerate it no more than she did in her own home. Well, being at Tonks's side was far more important than any of Molly's rules. "She's OK." He said gruffly. "It was just a nightmare. I'll stay with her." No-one was prepared to argue with him when he had that look on his face – besides, he had done a pretty good job so far of keeping her as calm as was possible.

Once they were alone again, he eased her back into bed and let her cry softly into his chest, crying out her fears. Finally she said, "I can't sleep anymore. Not yet."

"How about I fix us a late dinner and we go out into the gardens?" he suggested. "It's really pretty, if somewhat rundown. Apparently Walburga loved gardening. By which I mean she loved instructing Kreacher to tend to the garden."

That got a small laugh out of Tonks. "She was mum's least-favourite aunt," she said. "Which says a lot."

So he rugged her up and carried her downstairs and outside, leaving her momentarily on an ornate, if somewhat tarnished seat while he retrieved leftovers from the kitchen. "Sorry if she scared you all," he said when he ran into Molly in the kitchen.

"Looks like she gave you quite a fright, too," Molly said.

"And sorry for Apparating straight into her room; I know you hate it."

She waved him away. "Oh, that. I hate it when my boys are too lazy to walk up and down the stairs. I wouldn't mind it so much if they only did it when they thought someone they loved was hurt."

Despite himself, he grinned at that. "So you believe I love her, then?" he asked. Molly swatted him away.

He spent over two hours with Tonks in the garden. After she had eaten she stretched out on the seat, her head in his lap. "Thanks for being here," she said. "I'm such a baby."

"You're a frightened young woman who's survived someone that hardly anyone's survived," he said. He conjured up a blanket and waited until she was sound asleep before taking her back into the house.