Playing Stupid
Chapter 8
The Shinigami Shuffle
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Quatre was beside himself, unsure of what to do. The god was still in an obvious amount of pain as he rolled onto his knees on the floor of the milky white expanse, clutching his left arm.
Shinigami ground his teeth together and abandoned his feet, choosing to roll to a side, fighting a few moments to catch his breath. "Fuck..." he managed, still riling on the floor. "That hurt."
"What!? WHAT!?" Quatre bent over and shook the other by his shoulders. "What happened!?"
Shinigami audibly ground his teeth together but settled, rolling black, watery eyes up to Quatre. "That bastard shot Duo; Nearly took off his entire lower arm." He paused to take a few unsteady breaths.
"Can… can OZ kill you?" Quatre asked weakly.
"Not me. Duo. And with Duo in your body, that leaves me to take the brunt of whatever he's going through."
"More importantly, what happens to us if Duo's body dies?"
Shinigami blew air through his teeth and grumbled to himself. "I just find another host. You; You'll probably be either a wandering spirit for the rest of eternity since you're the odd man out in this mind, or… you'll just disappear."
Quatre paled until he nearly blended into the background.
"Not to worry, tho." Shinigami said with a grin, managing to sit himself up with one useless arm. "If I know what's coming, I can prevent any permanent damage. This might actually be kinda fun." The god gingerly touched his arm again before a hand shot to his eye and he grunted. "Here it comes."
"Here what comes?"
"He's killing Duo."
Instinctly, Quatre opened up his link to Duo's mind, his eyes seeing what Duo saw seconds before the gun shot rang out.
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Duo took in a staggering breath and yelled just as the gunshot went off in what was sure to be an immediately lethal blow. Blood, skull and brain matter rained about the room and Duo's body was blown back into the wall. It stayed there for a moment before slumping to the floor to sit in an unnatural position, a blood streak extending up the wall to the splatter that marked where his annihilated head had landed.
Treize pulled out a white silk handkerchief and calmly went about dabbing at blood and tissues on the stark white areas of his uniform, noting somewhat comically that he would have to have his tailors fashion him an entire new suit. He'd keep this one as a souvenir, though: The first officer in the entire Organization to successfully kill a Gundam pilot.
Tion Gilander stirred where he had been strapped into a chair, raising his head and blinking sleepy green eyes a moment, straining to regain his vision. "Whoa. That was unreal."
Guns were automatically leveled at his head as both Treize and the lieutenant turned on him, the other blinking and offering a wide grin.
"Yo, it's me."
"Prove it."
The other opened his mouth to talk but paused, frowning. "Not sure how to do that, exactly."
"Prove you're not Duo Maxwell or Quatre Winner."
Tion motioned with his head to Quatre's body, hanging limply in the other soldier's custody, shivering violently, the occasional squeak escaping as he tried to yell in a raw throat. "That's one. Should still be Duo Maxwell."
"And the other? And Quatre Winner?"
"He was in Duo's body when I have him a breathing hole through his skull." He glanced over at the carnage that was now Duo Maxwell's body and visibly paled. "Christ! Did I do that!?" He chuckled a moment and choked back a gag. "Phew."
Treize turned and pocketed his silk handkerchief with an air of self-importance, turning towards the door. "Untie him. And get someone to clean up that mess," he flung a hand haphazardly over his shoulder. "Take Winner… Maxwell… whoever… to a holding cell.
The lieutenant sprung to do as told, the other soldier attempting to hoist the limp body of Quatre who was staring gravely at the crumpled, bloody heap in the corner. "Get up, you. Or I'll really make your legs useless."
The blonde's body stiffened suddenly.
Duo's face paled considerably and his aquamarine eyes widened to the point the soldier thought they would burst. He frowned a moment before a cacophony of loud cursing and cocking guns echoed into the room.
Spinning, dropping his burden and drawing his own gun, the soldier came upon a horrific discovery: The corpse of Duo Maxwell. Staring right at him from one good eye in what was left of his skull.
A shot rang out from Treize's gun, creating a perfectly symmetrical hole through the head of the pile of moving carnage. The body only shuttered from the impact, but continued moving, pulling its legs underneath itself. Slowly, it began to creep to its feet.
"For Christ's sake, fire!" Treize nearly shrieked.
Three simultaneous pistols unloaded into the walking corpse. Blood splattered everywhere, holes appeared in parts of the body previously untouched, but still the corpse moved. Once all the clips were spent, the body rose completely to his feet, craning his mutilated head from side to side, popping the bones in its neck.
The lieutenant screamed and ran from the room, only half finished with untying a very nauseous looking Tion Gilander, green eyes wide with shock. Treize was frozen where he stood, still pulling the trigger of the spent gun as if by some miracle of reality it would reload on its own.
The head of Duo Maxwell's corpse swiveled a bit shakily to the soldier who held guard over Quatre, the soldier's spent gun aimed shakily at him. As if in answer to the unspoken demand, he dropped his gun and promptly bolted from the room, leaving the shaking blonde in a pile on the floor, eyes wide as he could do nothing but watch the horrific spectacle.
"Still in there, Duo?" the corpse gurgled, it's only good eye rolling uncoordinated until it spied Quatre's body.
The other managed a weak nod.
Still firing the spent gun, Treize finally gave up his efforts and dropped the gun, going instead for his sword.
"H-his head!" Tion managed from where he still sat half tied, trying to undo the balance of his restraints. "Cut off his head!"
The corpse snarled and produced the gun it had originally used to shoot itself in the eye, extending over its shoulder without looking to promptly shoot the psychic in the middle of the forehead. A feral grin split the blood-soaked face and it huffed. "Honestly. Six-foot bat wings?" It looked over its shoulders as the psychic slumped forward, unmoving. "How unoriginal."
Immediately, the corpse's gun swung to nudge Treize in the forehead. "Care to see who's a faster draw?" it rasped through a throat that had been shredded in the rain of bullets.
The antique sword clamored to the floor and Treize took an unsteady step back before he turned on his heels and beat his hasty retreat.
With a gurgly chuckle, the corpse twirled the gun around its finger like he was in a bad western before shoving it somewhere in the waist of his pants.
It turned towards Quatre's body and the other stiffened visibly. "Relax!" the corpse laughed, the laugh turning into a choke as it spit up a mouthful of blood.
"Shi… Shinigami?" Duo spoke, nearly sick. The other managed a grin through a mutilated face.
Gathering its balance, the corpse shuffled across the room and crumbled to his knees before Quatre's body, the other shuffling backwards on his rear where he sat. Taking the pastel pink sweater in hand, Shinigami buried his head into it and began to wipe the blood from his face.
"Man, that hurt like hell!" Shinigami's mangled face said, muffled by the shirt. He drew back and took a stiff breath, his face mostly healed, bullet holes closing, his missing eye beginning to reform in the gaping hole in his head. "Good thing I saw that one coming!"
Duo regarded Quatre's blood-soaked sweater with a forced swallow before he threw himself at his body, wrapping long arms around the other's neck.
Shinigami chuckled and patted the blonde's back. "Aww, how cute, I have a fan club."
Duo pulled back and punched the other in the shoulder. "Ass wipe! You could have warned me!"
"Was that supposed to hurt?"
"Jesus, Shin! Next time you wanna go a little easier on the carnage!?" He flicked a piece of flesh from the other's shoulder.
Duo's body shrugged. "What? Like I had a choice to be shot in the eye and turned into human Swiss cheese." He cringed. "But I wouldn't want to repeat the experience."
Duo gave Quatre's blood-soaked shirt another glance. "Hey, by the way…"
"Blondie's still in here," the other said, tapping a finger to the side of his head, hair matted to his face from the massive blood loss he had just endured.
I can switch us back, Quatre's voice spoke a bit uneasily through Shinigami's mind. Having a front-row seat to a round of Duo Demolition was nothing he ever wanted to see again.
"The kid says he can switch you two back." Shinigami paused as if in thought, listening to the voice in his head. He nodded once and took Duo's hands in his. "Close your eyes."
Duo did as told but smirked. "If I end up with an atomic wedgie, there will be Hell to pay."
"Deal."
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Quatre stood up straight in the milky white environment, Shinigami standing beside him tapping a foot impatiently. Black eyes flickered about and the figure that resembled Duo in so many ways huffed, blowing a strand of his chestnut-colored bangs repeatedly from his face. "You done yet?"
The other made a hushing sound and seconds later the milky fog churned. It formed into a mass and the mass slowly took human shape, darkening until Duo Maxwell appeared, looking a bit worse for wear but wearing a wide grin. He tossed off a mock salute. "Permission to come aboard, sir!"
"Get over here, idiot," Shinigami reached out and hauled the other over in a headlock, presenting Duo to Quatre like a prized head of deer. "Will this work?"
Quatre sighed and relaxed visibly. "Perfectly."
"We still have to get out of here, right?" Shinigami asked, Duo struggling to free himself from the headlock. When Quatre nodded, the god promptly released his catch, sending Duo stumbling to a rather ungraceful pile at his feet. "Then it looks like I'm in charge until we get back to the safe house."
"Like hell! I want my body back!" Duo protested from the floor.
"Um, immortal, remember?" Shinigami pointed to himself. "Unless you think you can survive the inevitable hail of bullets that's sure to come. You think Treize and his band of Merry Men didn't immediately rally the troops the second they beat their hasty retreat?"
Duo pouted. Unfortunately, the god had a point.
"Good! Now, let's get the hell out of here."
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Quatre, thankfully back in his own body, was furiously trying to remove the blood-soaked pink cardigan without smearing the crimson mess all over his face and hair.
Shinigami, still in control of Duo's body, had retrieved Treize's empty fire arm, taking out the gun he had shoved in the waist of his pants, handing it off to Quatre. "You take the loaded one. I'll make do with this until we can borrow a few of OZ's."
"You're breaking us out with an empty gun?"
The god flashed a wide grin. "Armed with sheer orneriness, you bet I can!"
Quatre had managed to wriggle out of the cardigan, trying first to fold the cashmere article before giving up and tossing it in a sloppy pile on the floor of the interrogation room. He purposely kept eyes trained on the door, ignoring the slumped and unmoving form of Tion Gilander still mostly strapped into the chair at the opposite end of the room.
"You stay behind me," Shinigami was saying. "At all times. No heroics. Got it?"
Quatre nodded and took the offered gun, checking the magazine and taking a mental count of the remaining ammunition. Three shy of a full clip. If he used the remaining bullets wisely, he'd have plenty of ammunition to make it out of the base.
Shinigami switched to hand signals; with access to Duo's mind and memories, the god was mimicking Duo nearly perfectly. He motioned Quatre to get behind him as he flattened himself against the wall by the open door, gun raised. Another signal sent Quatre into a crouch beside him and Shinigami turned into the hall.
Unexpectedly, the hall was void of life as Shinigami cleared all corners of the hall with his empty gun before motioning out. The blonde rolled out to crouch beside the other, mirroring the earlier movement, covering all corners of the hall before he gave the 'ready' signal. Together, the two moved on.
The next half dozen halls were handled in the same manner. OZ was taking them too lightly. Quatre had given the 'hold' signal upon reaching the end of the sixth hall, the faint sound of troops just beyond.
"Listen, Quatre," Shinigami began quietly, hoisting his empty gun. "Got a favor to ask you."
"I think I know what it is," the blonde whispered back. "'Our little secret', right?"
Shinigami offered a wide grin. "At least until Duo the Dolt is ready to return to active duty.
I heard that!
Quatre chuckled but nodded. "However, you know I can't lie to my friends. And I get the feeling that Duo's orneriness will only increase two fold with you and your apparent immortality."
"How right you are. But I promise: I'll save my shits and giggles for OZ. It's much more fun to freak out complete strangers. I'll leave you lot to Duo."
"Gee, thanks."
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To be continued…