Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any songs used in this story. Partially because I sing like a dying hippo... Any way, enjoy!

Chapter 2. Edweiner is a Douchenugget

BPOV

I grabbed a slice of pizza and an orange juice for lunch, paid, and headed to our normal table. Alice and Rose were already sitting there, looking extremely pissed off as the were talking. Alice was waving her hands around as she told Rosalie something.

"... And then he smiled and said 'I know how to woo a lady, baby.' That's when I kicked him in the shin," Alice had finished her story as I sat down. Both of them turned to look at me.

"So, did some guy hit on you again?" I asked Alice with my mouth full of pizza.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose in disgust, "And why boys hit on you multiple times a day is still a wonder to me." I stuck my tongue out at her, showing my slightly chewed food in all its glory. Alice's giggling turned into a laughing fit when I choked on my pizza because Rose hit me.

Being the great friends they are, as I was having a difficult time breathing and my eyes watered they laughed. I was finally able to gulp down air.

"Some awesome friends I have..." I mumbled.

Alice rolled her eyes, "So enough about Bella," she teased, "yes, some idiot did hit on me. And Rosalie too."

"Tell me what happened," I ordered.

Alice proceeded to tell me how the blond boy from this morning that was with Edward, the one I had thought was quiet and polite, hit on her. He started out by putting his arm around Alice in the hallway. She stopped and told him off, telling him how he can't just run around putting his arms around girls. He simply told her what I had heard when I came to the table.

When she was done, Rosalie told me her story. The boy who had supposedly caused the almost-running-over of us had apologized to her, saying that it wasn't his fault and Edward was just trying to get on my good side. Nice, right? Not quite. When Rose told him it was alright, he asked if she wanted to ditch playing dodge ball in gym and get some of his. Ick. Anyway, Rosalie responded by slapping him similarly to how I slapped Edward. Emmett got pelted with dodge balls for the rest of gym class. Every time someone on his team would catch a ball and he'd get to come back in, Rose would throw one and he'd have to sit again.

Personally, I found Rosalie's story more amusing than Alice's.

"Well remember the kid who was actually driving that car?" I said after swallowing a drink of my orange juice.

"The one who wanted your number?" Alice asked. Rosalie snickered at her.

I sighed, "Yes, him," then I told my friends about drama class and how Edward walked in. I told them how Edward had picked me to be his partner and I had to help him write the play, leaving out the part that they had to come with me.

When they had given me the standard 'that guy's a douchenugget' and they got done laughing about the MMA slap, as I liked to call it now, I mumbled, "And I may have possibly sorta told Edward I was going to drag you guys to his house with me..."

All was quiet for a moment as I looked down at my jeans and then all hell broke loose.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" they yelled at the same time. The next five minutes were full of them complaining and 'how could you?'s 'now I have to see that moron again's. Anything else should not be said about little children.

I finally pursuaded them to come, telling them I was their ride home and pulling the isn't-that-what-friends-are-for? card.

When lunch was over I went to biology class. I doodled random things, mostly meaningful song lyrics in clouds, until class started. When I looked up at Mr. Banner, I realized someone had sat next to me.

I glanced over at the person who wasn't supposed to sit there (I was the only one in class who didn't have a lab partner. That's how it'd been since eighth grade) and who could it be? Edward. Freaking. Uh... Whatever his last name was.

"Hello, Isabella," Edward said.

"Screw off, Edweiner," I grinned internally. Haha. Edweiner.

He rolled his eyes, "Very mature, Isabella."

I groaned, "Bella. It's Bella. The only people who are aloud to call me Isabella are the faggot teachers, my parents if I'm in trouble, and Alice and Rosalie."

He nodded. I was thankful for the silence. I listened to Mr. Banner talk about the solar system, which I had learned about last year. I stopped listening, but kept my ears alert in case I heard something I didn't know about, and continued my doodling.

"You like Artist vs. Poet?" Edweiner whispered.

I looked at him like he had grown a marker up his nose, "Well, duh. Who doesn't?"

He smiled, "My family. They think that good music is Eminem."

I shrugged, "Eminem is the best rapper out there. Space Bound is just about the best song ever." It really was. Eminem was pretty much the only rapper I liked though.

He looked at me curiously, "Is there a type of music you don't like?"

I thought about it, "Well, techno. And heavy metal. I can handle a little scremo in songs, but not a lot. And any Disney Channel star might as well go jump off a cliff. And Lady GaGa."

"So picking songs for the play shouldn't be too hard?" Edward asked.

"Well, if we're performing it I may be a bit more picky," I warned him. He was actually being decent. Maybe I could put up with him.

"Oh, I'm sure there are way to get you to do what I want," he told me, winking.

I gagged, "Douchenugget."

He stared at me for a moment then, "Did you just call me a... a douchenugget?"

I nodded, "Now shut up, because I'm sure I can get you kicked out of this class even on your first day."

Edweiner smirked, "I'd like to see you try."

I winked at him, then started fake crying. I had perfected it. I could even my myself cry.

Mr. Banner looked startled as he came back to our desk, "Mrs. Swan, what happened?"

I sniffled and looked up at him, fresh fake tears streaming down my face, "Well, I- I was just trying to explain to Edward about how the sun was really a star, not a planet, and he... he touched me a-" I stopped and put my head back down, sobbing. Then I looked back up, " Then he called me a... Oh, it really isn't school appropriate... But it was my fault. I was waving my pencil around in my hand and it hit him in the face." I trailed off and acted like I was trying to stop crying.

Mr. Banner glared at Edward, "To the principle."

Edweiner was shocked, "But-"

"March!" Banner yelled.

I spoke up, not wanting to get Edward in a load of trouble because it was his first day and it really wasn't true, "Mr. Banner, I don't think he needs to go to Mr. Perkins for this. It's really not a big deal, I shouldn't let it affect me. It's alright, really," I said. My 'tears' had stopped now.

The two looked at me. Then Mr. Banner nodded and turned to Edward, "Detention today after school."

"Oh, Mr. Banner!" I said again, "That's not necessary. Edward and I are supposed to write this year's winter play, and we need to work on it as much as possible so it's perfect. We planned to do it tonight."

Mr. Banner sighed and left him with a warning, then he proceeded to explain to him how a lot of girls today had low-self esteem because males treated them like dirt when the ladies were simply trying to help and blah, blah, blah. Edward had to apologize to me in front of the whole class too.

When the bell rang I walked out of the classroom.

Edward caught up to me, "Wow. You're going to be a great lead in the play, but that was awfully mean."

I laughed, "Ha! Yeah right. I'll write the play, but I'll stick to the curtain pulling, thanks."

"But you have to be the lead!" he whined, "I'm going to be the lead too, and we can always write in a kiss and-"

I cut him off, "Look, Edweiner. One: I'm not trying out for the lead. Two: You will not get the lead because Eric is the best in this school. Three: We can write a kiss, I don't care. But it won't be between us, so it doesn't matter."

Edward just smiled, "Alright. Whatever gets you to sleep at night."

"Ugh!" I walked away before I smacked him again.

I was surprised I survived gym class. Dodge ball is the pits.

I quickly changed and headed out to my car where Alice and Rosalie were waiting with looks of dread written on their faces.

"Bella, you know you owe us big time for this, right?" Rosalie said. The guys weren't here yet, thank God.

I nodded. We chatted about how retarded it was that our drama teacher was making me help write the play and such. I did admit I was glad Edweiner wouldn't put Miley 'Bong' Cyrus or Demi 'Rehab' Lovato in there though. The girls agreed, also saying how glad they were Lady 'Insane Asylm' GaGa wasn't going to be in there either.

Edward and his brothers finally showed up. Before they could say anything to us we slid into my car.

We rode behind them to their house.

My jaw dropped when we got there. Wow. That's where my grandparents used to live. My grandma had died a few years ago, but my grandpa had just recently been checked into a nursing home. My dad wanted to move in with him to help him out, but we couldn't. My dad was chief of police so obviously he was busy, and I had to go to school.

The house was gigantic too. My dad had three sisters and they all had at least three kids. My grandmother had loved us grandchildren so much; we were always going over there, so they wanted us all to fit.

The off-white house's driveway was a half-circle with a patch of grass in side it where a stone bench was placed. The house itself had big glass windows. The front door into the house lead to a huge side porch. There was also two big balconies.

"Bella," Alice spoke up, "isn't this where your Gram and Pawz lived?"

I grinned at the nickname for my grand-dad. I had grown up with Alice and Rose, we were in diapers and we knew each other. Either their grandparents didn't live nearby or they had passed away, so my grandparents welcomed them as their own grandchildren. Anyway, when we were little, we couldn't pronounce 'papa' or any of the normal names for a grandfather, so we called him Pawz.

I nodded, "Yeah."

We got out of the car and didn't even wait for the boys.

I threw the front door open and was surprised at how much was still the same inside too. The walls were the same colors as they had been forever. Pawz and just recently bought new furniture, so it was nice and brand-new.

I looked back and Rosalie and Alice; all three of us were grinning ear to ear.

"Wow. This is exactly how we left it," Alice said, voicing my earlier thoughts.

The guys came in laughing behind us.

"Want a grand tour, ladies?" the big burly one asked.

Us girls looked at each other then burst into a fit of laughter.

The guys laughed nervously a little, not quite sure what was going on.

"Please, I could give you a tour of your own house," I informed them.

Now it was their turn to laugh.

The blond one, the one who hit on Alice, spoke up, "And how would you know that?" at the same time Edward said, "Prove it."

So instead of answering the blond one, we naturally excepted the challenge.

"Well," I started, "this is the fancy living room that is only used for Christmas or if someone wants to play piano," I said heading for a room smaller than most of the other ones in the house. It had a baby grand piano in it and one of those stiff couches no one likes.

Alice turned and walked to the opposite side of me, "And this is the real living room," she said. Which was obvious. It had a enormous flat screen my dad and grandfather insisted on for watching football, a comfy couch, and various other things that made a room... well lived in.

"And the kitchen is right here," Rosalie stated as she walked to the modern kitchen.

"Well of course you know that," the big one said, "Anyone can see that when they first walk in. The second floor is the real challenge."

I rolled my eyes and walked up the stairs.

When we were all in the hallway, Edward said to me, "Show us where the master bedroom is."

"Downstairs. You have to go past the kitchen to get to it," I responded then walked down the hallway and started pointing out what was behind each door, "The first door is a bedroom. I don't think either of you would use it since its pretty girly," Alice slept in that one, "The next one is a study with tall bookshelves that reach the ceiling. That's a bedroom pretty much decked out in everything red," Rose's room, "This one is the classic sports bedroom. Next is a bedroom that's pretty westerny. This one is my favorite bedroom," I said stopping to look at the door to the room I had slept in for so many years when I stayed at my grandparents house on the weekends, "It is black and gold. The wall you see when you walk in is completely made out of glass and you can see the woods behind this house. And the room directly at the end is sort of like a lounge. Actually, we should work in there."

I only heard two pairs of foot steps on the hardwood floor following me. I turned around to see the boys standing at the last bedroom with their jaws hanging down.

"How did you know all of that?" Edward finally asked, following us into the lounge room. There were six beanbag chairs, each a different color of the rainbow. The couches were brown leather and matched the whole outside vibe of the room. The walls were painted baby blue with white clouds at the top which my grandma had hand painted, and the carpet was green like grass. Against one wall there was a computer on a desk, which had one time been full of coloring books.

I grabbed the purple bean bag chair and plopped down in it, "My grandparents lived here." Rosalie grabbed the red one and Alice took the yellow one.

The boys all said "Oh..." and grabbed their own bean bag chairs. The big one took the blue one, the blond guy grabbed the orange chair, and Edward the green one that matched his eyes perfectly... Not that I was comparing.

Before Edward sat down, his eyes lit up and he ran over to the desk, "So that's why it says B + R + A = bffs under here?"

My friends and I nodded. We had written that ages ago.

Emmett laughed loudly, "Oh, gosh. Did you guys realize that B plus R plus A spells bra? Haha!"

While the boys laughed at that, we rolled our eyes at how immature they were. We decided to ignore it.

"Wait, how did you find that?" Alice asked suspiciously.

"Emmett dropped his lollipop under there a few days ago and just had to get it. And although it was totally disgusting when he did get it, he still ate it," the blond one explained.

"Ew," Rosalie, Alice, and I all wrinkled our noses.

"I take it you must be Emmett?" Alice said turning to the big one.

He grinned, "Yes. The Kind of Cool."

I snickered, "Wasn't that Elvis? And besides, the King of Cool wouldn't get smacked by the girl he was hitting on."

Emmett blushed.

"Dude, that happened to you too?" Edward exclaimed.

"Yeah," I said, "and the blond one got kicked in the shin. I'm sure he has a bruise."

"My name is Jasper, and yes I do have a bruise. You're hot little pixie friend over there was the cause of it," he said rudely.

Rosalie scoffed, "Oh, please. All three of you brothers are perverted pigs. If you got over that, you really wouldn't be so bad."

I nodded, "Did I tell you that Edweiner has already made out with Lauren?"

"Nasty!" Alice stated loudly, "You'd better hope that skank didn't give you some STD."

Emmett let out a hardy laugh, "Edweiner! Bhahahahahah!" Everyone ignored him.

Edward looked horrified at what Alice had said for few seconds but shrugged it off, "Okay, girls, so enough of the gossip. Bella, you and I should get started. We could just go on over to my room and-"

I cut him off, "Why do you think I brought my friends with? They're my excuse for not being alone with you. Besides, they have good ideas."

Edward sighed and his brothers laughed at his rejection.

"Okay," Rosalie said pulling out a notebook and Alice went over to the computer to boot it up, "do you two know exactly what you want it to be about? Shoot, Bells, you got a pen?"

I grabbed my bag and tossed her my purple penguin pen. When it came to homework, we were always prepared. Rosalie had the neatest handwriting, so she took notes. Alice typed the quickest, and I read everything over, correcting and mistakes and making papers sound better.

"All we have so far is that it's going to be a musical with modern songs, preferably alternative, acoustic, or rock songs that most of Forks population has no idea about." Rose was done writing a second after I was done talking.

"Okay, great," Edward said sarcastically.

"Brainstorm, idiot," I said as sweetly as possible.

Edward spoke up when some plan formed in his head, "Okay, I have an idea. We can kind of do a Beauty and the Beast theme. Except the boy is gorgeous and the girl is just plain nerdy," Edward grinned, "That way the male lead will be perfect for me."

"As if. A pig would be a better lead than you," Alice retorted, shutting him up.

"Oh! Light bulb!" I shouted suddenly, "So..."

A/N: So sorry to cut it off there. This chapter was just getting a little longer than I would have liked. (:

So, the story is starting to get more fun, I think. And don't worry, it'll get more and more interesting.

I changed the Cullen house; the link to the pic is on my profile, if you're interested.

Also the whole "light bulb" thing Bella says at the end is from Despicable Me, if you're wondering. It's my favorite movie. (:

Reviews are appreciated!

Later, alligator! (;