This Thing That Breaks My Heart.

"I don't know why you're panicking," Axel muttered over the phone, "Ven did say he was willing to help out again."

"I know," I sighed as I barged into my apartment, "But this is different - the both of us are gonna be there at the same time."

"So?"

I groaned. "Wouldn't it be easier for people to tell us apart? Even with the disguise he'll still look somewhat like me! Naminé and Riku aren't stupid!"

"Geez, Roxas," My male best friend chuckled, "You sound a little riled up. Having more lady troubles than usual?"

I don't know how Axel managed to read my mind when I wasn't even in the same room as him. I sighed into the phone and plopped down on my couch, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. "I don't know what happened to me today."

"What are you talking about?"

"Naminé knows something's been bothering me lately," I groaned again, "And she keeps asking me what's wrong but I obviously can't tell her...yet at the same time I don't want to keep lying to her."

"So why don't you just tell her the truth?"

"Because I can't tell her the truth!" I yelled into my phone, "Axel, don't you understand what's going on here? She loves someone else, and even if she didn't there's no way in hell she'd want to go out with a guy like me-"

"Here we go again…" I could picture Axel rolling his eyes, and it made me even angrier.

"Look at it this way, Axel: Naminé said Riku's inviting everyone to this party. People only throw big parties for special occasions. There's gotta be a reason why he wants me to come - I mean...we've only met once. That's not enough to even establish our relationship as acquaintances!"

"I guess you have a point there," The redhead replied, "But why is this making you weirder than usual?"

"Isn't it obvious? This has gotta do something with the both of them - Riku and Naminé." I shook my head and pulled my fingers through my hopeless hair. "Maybe they're engaged, or something-"

"Engaged? Seriously? C'mon, man, you can't be worrying about crap like that now! It's far too soon for an engagement party!"

"You'll never know," I mumbled pathetically, "I mean...Riku sorta just popped out of nowhere. Before we know it they'll be having their firstborn."

"Stop thinking like that! God, you're moodier than Larxene-"

I raised my head a little. "Oh, you're talking to her now?"

Axel paused for a moment. "Yeah...well, after at least two hours of trying to convince her that I was willing to support her she finally caved." He paused again. "But back to what we were talking about before - what the hell happened to you today?"

"I already told you - I don't know," I replied exasperatingly, "I just...I don't know. We were walking around the city and I just...I just came to the realization that I'm never going to be good enough for her."

"You always thought you were never going to be good enough for her."

"But this time I really know it's true. I'm convinced it's the truth," I protested, "When it's just the both of us everything's perfect, but if you add something...or someone into the picture I lose her. I'll never be the centre of her attention. I'll never be something she'll revolve around - no matter what I'll always just be the best friend." I sighed in defeat. "Second-best."

"What exactly made you come to this conclusion?" Axel asked skeptically, as if he already knew I was going to reply with something stupid.

I thought about Salty, and my heart clenched together. I still didn't know why I was getting so worked up over a damn kitten. "Well, Naminé and I found a stray cat in the park-"

"A cat?" Axel screeched, just like I expected him to, "A cat? You drew all of this crap from a CAT?"

"Let me finish!" I hollered back, "Anyways, before we found Salty-"

"Salty?"

"That's what she named him-"

"Oh, Jesus-"

"Before we found him we were talking...and...I almost told her. I almost told her everything, Axel."

"Told her what?"

"That I love her, stupid," My throat was aching for some reason, "I almost told her that I was in love with her and I hated how I found out so late. I wanted to tell her how much I hated Riku for taking her away from me."

"And what does this cat have to do anything with this…?"

"I probably would've told her anything if the cat didn't interrupt us," I muttered, "Just when I was about to tell her everything it makes a noise, and she gets distracted. For the rest of the day all she could focus on was the damn cat," I sighed defeatedly, "It was like our conversation never happened in the first place."

"Huh, I guess that's pretty bad. I thought it was hard enough with Riku, but the fact that she favours a cat over you...hm…"

My eyes narrowed. "You're not helping."

"Sorry. Why don't you call Ven and tell him about the party? It'll probably be more productive than just moping around and crying about how she'll never be yours-"

"Still not helping!"

"Okay, okay. Just call Ven. Later." When Axel hung up I glared at my phone for a second, but my frustration disappeared soon afterward and I shook my head. I dragged myself into my room and sat on the edge of my bed, my eyes slowly sliding towards the tiny blue paper crane sitting on my nightstand.

I'm pretty sure Axel and the others were fed up with my constant whining, but I didn't know what to do anymore. A part of me wanted to give up, to accept the fact that Naminé and I were never meant to be...but another part of me wanted to keep going. It wanted me to endure this suffering for just a bit longer...because for some reason it hoped that it would all pay off in the end.

I languidly dialed Ven's number while absently playing with the paper crane in my free hand. "Hey bro," My oldest brother happily greeted me after three rings, "What's up?"

"Um, Riku's having a party this weekend and he invited me...but there's a problem."

"What is it?"

"He invited...er, Ventus too."

My brother let out a low whistle. "Hm...that is gonna be a problem. I'm busy this weekend, unfortunately."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"Yeah...a buddy of mine's moving this weekend and he needs help hauling his stuff around. Sorry, bro."

"No, no," I laughed even though my hand was pushing faster through my hair, "It's okay. I'll figure something out."

"I guess either you or Ventus will have to call in sick, or something."

I scratched the side of my head. "Wouldn't that be kinda suspicious?"

"S'not like you have much of a choice, Rox."

"You're right," I admitted, "I...I guess I'll have to figure it out somehow. Thanks anyway, Ven."

"Sorry, Roxas. I'll make it up to you somehow."

I laughed a little sadly. "I'll take your word for it." When I canceled the call I continued to twiddle the paper crane in between my fingers. What was I supposed to do now?

I guess the only thing I really could do now was to call in sick, but either way I really did think Naminé will suspect something - or even Riku.

"Huh, that's perfect," Axel laughed darkly once I called him back and explained the situation, "Guess we're gonna have to wing this one."

"Wing it? How?"

"Go with your bro's plan. Call in sick or make up some dumb excuse. You're going to this shindig as Ventus."

I scratched my head confusedly. "Why-"

"I'm going with my gut here. Just do it." I heard a feminine voice complaining in the distance, and my redheaded friend heaved a sigh. "Well...duty calls. I'll see you tomorrow, bud."

"Was that Larxene?"

"Who else would it be?" Axel replied grimly, "She's been craving cantaloupe and mac and cheese the entire weekend! Ugh...pregnant women…" He mumbled a few incoherent words before hanging up, and I shook my head amusedly. Well, at least they were talking again.

I guess I was going to go through with Axel's gut and tell Naminé I couldn't make it to the party.

As if fate agreed with my decision I ran into her in the parking lot of our office building the next morning.

"Uh, hey... Naminé?" Her head raised a little so our eyes met; I swallowed nervously and reached to touch the elevator button, "Er, turns out I can't make it to Riku's after all."

Her head tilted to the side. "Why?"

"Erm," I stepped aside so she could enter the elevator first, "Sora's going to visit our dad...and he wanted me to come. I haven't been home in awhile so I figured this would be a good opportunity." I hung my head, the guilt swelling up inside of me. "I'm sorry...I knew you asked me before Sora did but-"

"Hey, don't worry about it," I looked up to see her sweet smile and my throat closed up, "Your dad's health comes first."

I tried smiling back for her. "Thanks...and tell Riku I'm sorry too." An idea popped into my head. "Speaking of Riku...um, do you know why he's throwing a party in the first place? It must be something if he's inviting a lot of people."

Excitement flashed in her eyes, and I began to grow worried. "To be honest with you, I don't know either," She laughed quietly to herself as if she was remembering some fond past memory, "Believe me, I've tried forcing the truth out of him but I've run out of ideas."

She tried bribing the truth out of him? How?

Only one thought came to mind, and it made me feel uncomfortably warm.

She's not like that, I chanted in my head, She's not like that! She's innocent and sweet and kind. She's not like that!

"Hm…" I raised a hand to my hair, "He's probably gonna make some sort of announcement at the party, then."

"I figured so," She shrugged, "But I wonder what it could be? I'm excited." The elevator doors slid open and I let her out first. "Oh, by the way - I think Salty misses you."

If it was something Riku was hiding from Naminé...what could it be?

When I realized I didn't answer Naminé's question yet I shook my head to snap myself back to reality. "Uh, what? H-how do you know?"

Her expression suddenly turned forlorn, and I frowned. "He was crying last night, and I tried comforting him," She tugged on her flick of hair, "But he wouldn't calm down until I told him we were going to see you today."

I smirked. "Are sure he misses me, or does he just miss the ice cream?"

My blonde companion giggled as we stopped in front of my office. "I'm pretty sure he misses you."

"Is it safe to leave him at home by himself?" I asked concernedly, "I mean, he's so small. He's too young to be on his own."

"Aw, look at you," She hit my shoulder playfully and I flushed, "So worried and whatnot." When I blushed harder she laughed. "Salty's stronger than he looks - trust me, he'll be fine on his own for a few hours. You're coming with me to the vet tonight, right?"

"Yes, I said I was...wasn't I?"

The blonde giggled again. "Just making sure. I guess I'll come by after work-"

"As always." I finished for her, and she smiled bashfully before waving goodbye and walking away.

The morning passed by slowly. My brain felt like it was running in slow motion: I had a really hard time concentrating on my work, and even with a coffee or two I still felt sluggish and heavy. I think it was because of all the stress with Naminé and Riku that was making me feel like this.

Relationships are so damn complicated.

My glass door shuddered as it was violently pushed open, and my head snapped upwards to see an exhausted-looking Axel - he looked even more pooped than me, which was definitely saying something - dragging himself into my office.

"Um, hey." I greeted him cautiously as he slumped in one of the seats in front of my desk. "Geez, it's only been a couple days and you're already tired out?"

"You don't know what I've been going through this past weekend, buddy," Axel muttered acidly as he rubbed his tired eyes, "If you thought any regular woman was high-maintenance...try dealing with a freaking pregnant woman. God." I noticed the dark semi-circles underneath his eyes. "I want to kill myself."

I busily shuffled through my papers. "Your fault."

"Hey, I can't take all of the blame." My male best friend shook his head and rumpled up his spikes. "I can't believe I have to put up with this for nine more months…"

I laughed. "Do you really think the trouble stops once the baby's born? You know you gotta feed the kid, wake up in the middle of the night when it's crying, change its diapers when it-"

"Somebody sure knows a lot about parenting." Axel smirked, and I rolled my eyes.

"In case you've forgotten I have an infant niece and nephew." I returned my attention to my laptop. "Anyway...I told Naminé I can't make it on Friday. I guess I'm really going in as Ventus."

"Perfect," His smirk broadened into something much more mischievous-looking, "It's just gonna be me, you and Demyx that'll be going to this party, however. Larxene obviously can't go - well, I mean she could go but with her being more annoying than usual she might give us away."

That last part sounded a bit strange to me, but I remembered how Axel and Larxene's relationship wasn't exactly a conventional one and I let it slide.

"That's fine," I shrugged, "I think it'll be less of a hassle anyway." I paused for a minute. "Erm...Naminé said she doesn't know why Riku's throwing this party either...but she has a feeling he's going to make some sort of an announcement."

The redhead chuckled. "See, I told you there was nothing to worry about! They're not getting engaged...psh-"

"But what if he's gonna propose to her or something?" I exclaimed anxiously, and my cheeks grew red when Axel laughed harder.

"There's no stopping you, is there?" He leaned across my desk to teasingly ruffle my hair, and I glared at him. "I better head back - either Larxene's gonna force me to go out and get her food or the boss man's gonna harass me with work. We'll talk about this later." He sauntered out of my office, still laughing, and I groaned and hit my forehead against my desk.

Axel was probably right, but that didn't mean it was enough to get me to stop worrying.

"Roxas?"

I glanced at the time on my laptop. Somehow I managed to get through the day. I didn't know exactly how I managed to make time go by so fast...it was probably from all the thinking I was doing.

"Roxas!" Naminé's voice was a little louder now, and I twitched in my chair. She was standing on the opposite side of my desk with her hands on her hips. Uh oh. "C'mon, we're gonna be late for Salty's appointment!"

Huh? No lecture this time?

"Oh...right." I quickly packed my things and followed her out of the office. I was expecting some sort of lecture or a talking-to in the elevator but she remained quiet. Huh...I thought my whole staring-into-space thing irritated her.

Maybe our conversation before Salty interrupted us was significant to her after all…?

Then again, if it was she would've mentioned it.

"I'll meet you at my place." Her fingers brushed my sleeve before walking to her car. I rubbed the back of my head and stared at her back for a few seconds before shamefully walking to mine. For some reason I felt I lost a game, or something. I felt completely and utterly defeated and I had no idea why.

"Salty!" Naminé called as we stepped into the foyer of her house. She looked left and right as we slowly approached the kitchen. "Salty, where are you?"

A soft mewl emerged from the den. I followed my shorter companion into the room but the tiny white cat was nowhere to be found. Naminé tugged on her piece of hair. "Where in the world is he? I swear I heard him here..."

I noticed the heap of blankets lying on the couch and how it was moving like something was struggling underneath. "Er, Naminé," I flipped the blanket over and sure enough Salty was there, pawing at the soft material.

When he noticed the blanket was gone Salty looked up at me and blinked with wide eyes. His fur was a pure, snowy white and his nose and the interior of his ears were a bubble gum-pink. His tail swished slowly behind him. He let out a quiet meow and raised his paw towards me; the underside was also pink. I also noticed that Naminé had wrapped his injured paw with a strip of white bandage.

Okay, maybe he was a little cute…

I lifted him into my arms and clamped one eye shut when the small animal pressed his front paws against my chest and raised himself on his hind legs to lick my cheek. I heard Naminé giggle from beside me. "Aw, see - Salty did miss you."

"I'd rather not have him lick me until after his vet appointment." I muttered as the kitten snuggled in my arms; I had to admit it felt kind of nice, "Let's go."

Salty behaved in the car this time, obediently sitting on Naminé's lap and occasionally turning his furry head to look out the window. The veterinarian's office was small but cozy; there were at least three other people in the waiting room...and I noticed how all of them happened to be young women around me and Naminé's age.

"Oh," One of them, a brunette, immediately scurried up to me and bent over the kitten purring in my arms; her dog was sitting by her chair, perplexed as to why its master suddenly abandoned it, "Your kitten is so cute!" Salty touched her cheek with his paw, and she giggled. "Aww, hello there!" She poked his nose, and the kitten shook his head slightly. "What's his name?"

"Um," I stared down, and the small animal looked up at me, "Salty." Right on cue he meowed, and the brunette squealed. The other two women who were in the waiting room - a redhead with a severely overweight cat and another brunette with...was that an iguana? - raised their heads at the sound and smiled.

"Salty...what a cute name! He's adorable," The woman gently petted Salty's head before looking up at me, "Almost just as adorable as his owner." She gave me a wink, and my collar suddenly felt too tight. The other two women laughed quietly to themselves.

I felt a hand on my upper arm; Naminé was dragging me over to the secretary's desk. "Roxas," She sounded like she was speaking through gritted teeth but I couldn't see since her back was turned to me, "We have to check Salty in."

"Oh, right." My blonde companion finally let go of my arm. Salty looked up at me questionably, and I shrugged my shoulders. "Beats me." I replied.

I felt her hand on my arm again; this time she was dragging me over to one of the seats. I noticed how we were sitting on the other side of the room - far away from the other three women. "We should be seeing the vet shortly," Naminé explained in a sort of clipped voice, "At least we won't have to wait too long. I'm guessing the others-" She shot a glare towards the three women on the other side of the room, "-didn't schedule an appointment like we did."

"Oh, that's good." I noticed how her body language appeared to be sort of defensive: her arms were crossed and her foot was tapping impatiently against the carpeted floor. Huh...weird. She wasn't like this before we came here…

I absently glanced around the room, and my eyes randomly fell on the brunette with the dog. She gave me a smile, and I tried smiling back but Naminé's voice caught my attention again.

"Hey, I think we're being called." She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up, and my confusion only grew worse. Salty seemed to be confused too, since he was meowing and trying to reach for her.

Was she...jealous?

Part of me wanted to test this theory, but another part of me was afraid.

When we were ushered into the new room the vet was already there. Great...another attractive young woman. "Hello there," She absently brushed a few strands of blue hair from her eyes and adjusted her glasses; she bent over to address Salty and affectionately nudged his cheek with her knuckles, "And this must be Salty. I'm assuming you're his owners?" She straightened up and smiled warmly...in my direction only.

I swore I saw Naminé's eye twitch. "Yes, but he's living with me. Roxas and I found him together at the park just yesterday." This time I knew she was speaking through gritted teeth because I could plainly see it.

"Hm," The blue-haired vet bent over Salty again, "I guess we should take a look. Do you mind?"

I handed Salty over to her, and thankfully he wasn't fussy about it. It seemed to make Naminé angrier though, because her eye-twitching became more noticeable. "N-no, not at all."

As the vet examined Salty I awkwardly stood with my back against the wall and my hands behind my back. Naminé was so close to me our shoulders were brushing, and I could literally feel the negativity radiating off of her. It was scary.

"He's surprisingly healthy for a stray...and he appears to be really young, which makes his health even more remarkable," The vet turned around to face us and motioned to Salty, who was patiently sitting on the medical table with his head slightly tilted to the side (I assumed he was looking at Naminé because he looked a little confused), "He has to be a month at the oldest." She examined his paw and the hint of a frown tugged at the corners of her lips. "He seemed to have sprained his paw, however. It's a good thing you wrapped it up - it's the only thing you can really do besides wait for it to heal."

"A month at the oldest? He sure doesn't act like it," Naminé spoke up, and I was relieved she was beginning to sound like her regular self again, "He can be left alone for awhile and he'll be able to take care of himself. He's smart for a baby."

"It's probably because he's a stray," The vet shrugged as she picked him up and handed him over to my shorter friend, "Must've picked up some survival skills. Still, though - pretty impressive for a kitten his age." When Salty nuzzled his head against Naminé's shoulder and reached over to paw my arm the vet laughed. "He seems to love the both of you very much - he probably thinks you're his parents."

My eyes widened. "Parents?"

The blonde beside me giggled. "That makes sense. The other night he was crying because Roxas wasn't there." She tickled Salty's nose. "It's 'cause you missed your daddy, didn't you?" When the kitten meowed she laughed again. "I knew it!"

Daddy? Never in my life have I expected to be called by that name. It...it felt kind of nice, actually.

Especially when I knew Naminé was technically the 'mommy' in our...er, family.

I blinked wordlessly, and the vet laughed a second time. "Well, I'm glad he found a good home." She reached for her clipboard and tore out a sheet of paper. "He's going to need to come back in a couple of days for some immunization shots and a checkup on his paw, and he'll be all set." She handed me the paper, and I carefully folded it and pushed it into the inside pocket of my jacket.

"Sounds good," Naminé smiled, "I guess we'll be seeing you in a couple days."

"Er, thanks a lot...Doctor…" I squinted at the vet's ID tag, "Uetake."

"Aqua," The woman smiled kindly at me, "Aqua Uetake, and it was nice meeting you."

I was about to say goodbye but Naminé had already yanked me out of the room.

Geez, and I thought my jealousy was bad.

She was jealous...right? I mean, what other explanation was there?

Regardless, it gave me hope.

A/N: Chapter Inspiration: And Darling by Tegan and Sara.

I added one or two new songs to the playlist, and I also included a picture of Salty =) Be sure to check it out - the link is posted on my profile!

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted and favourited this story!