Author's Note: Deidara and Sasori's adventure, part two! Enjoy!

A gigantic thank you to all who reviewed. I really appreciate it! You guys are the best.

"Let go of me, un!" Deidara shouted, shaking his arm free of the woman's grip.

She tapped her foot impatiently. "Listen, Mai. I don't care how nervous you are. You are going to compete and you are going to like it. Understand, missy?"

"But I'm not—"

"Shush!" the woman barked. She pushed Deidara forward. "Here we are!"

Deidara was livid. "Listen to me, un! I'm not—" His voice faltered. "Wait, what is that?"

"Are you stupid, girl?" the woman said. "That's the grand prize for the beauty pageant."

"It's…" Deidara's eyes were brimming with tears. "…beautiful!"

Upon a large revolving dais sat a massive painting. Explosions of color covered the entire canvas; bursts of golden yellows converged with splotches of brilliant reds, blues, and violets. The colors overlapped, revealing colors of every spectrum and shade. Deidara dropped to his knees.

"Mai. Get up. Now."

Deidara looked up at the woman and gave her a shaky smile. "Where do I get changed, un?"

Sasori was exasperated. Where the hell did Deidara go? That blonde kid was always getting himself lost.

He found himself wandering into the West Touzoku section of the village. A large banner caught his attention.

"…Beauty pageant?"

Sasori hadn't seen any beautiful women for a long time. Years, in fact.

Konan didn't count, he decided. She was too busy frolicking with the leader.

Intrigued, the puppet master followed the arrows leading to the site of the beauty pageant.

Deidara found himself in a large room. Racks of fluffy dresses were scattered all over. Harried women tottered around on ridiculously high heels, snarling at whoever crossed their paths. Clouds of hairspray made him choke.

It was a jungle.

Deidara looked around, overwhelmed.

"Hey, where do I—"

The woman was gone.

"Hey, watch it!"

Deidara found himself jostled to the side by a woman with outlandish poofy hair.

"You watch it, un!" Deidara said angrily. "Or I'll blast you with my exploding clay!"

"Hmph," the girl harrumphed. "Noob." She tossed her hair and moved on.

This was unfamiliar, dangerous territory, Deidara realized. He had to tread carefully.

"Excuse me, un," he said to a girl fixing her makeup, in a strangled, high-pitched voice. "Where can I find a dress?"

She looked at him, unemotional. "Whatever you brought in. Should have your name on it."

"Thanks."

The girl ignored him and turned back to the mirror.

Deidara stalked over to the racks of dresses and pawed through the fabric, searching for a tag labeled Mai.

After a few moments of searching, he finally found the one.

"You've got to be kidding me, un…"

"This…this is…"

Sasori's eyes brimmed with tears. He looked up at the piece of artwork with astonishment. Explosions of color were peppered across the canvas, which sat upon a slowly revolving dais.

"…hideous! They call this a work of art?" Sasori scoffed. "It looks like something Deidara would have made."

He shook his head and began to make his way into the beauty pageant site. However, a woman with obscenely bright hair and a feather boa grabbed him by the collar and spun him around.

"And just where do you think you're going, little boy?"

"Unhand me, woman," Sasori said, annoyed. "There's someone I have to find."

She laughed. It was an unpleasant sound. "Oh, I don't think so. No children are allowed." She wrinkled her nose. "They're just so grubby."

"I'm not a child."

"Yes, you are," she insisted. "Now leave, child."

Sasori looked at her, unimpressed. "And what are you going to do to stop me?"

The woman slowly unwound the feather boa from her neck. She had an unsightly leer plastered across her face.

"This," she said, and gagged Sasori.

Deidara stiffly ambled out of his dressing room, unsteadily staggering on stiletto heels. His dress was a hideous little thing—mounds of feathers were piled on in layers. Gaudy rhinestones dotted the bodice. Kakuzu would have had a heart attack. Or two. Or three.

He felt very awkward.

"Oh you are too adorable!"

He heard squealing. It was getting louder, crescendoing into a loud roar.

His eyes widened.

"—un!"

He soon found himself being engulfed in a sea of squealing women, pinching his cheeks and fluffing his hair.

…A jungle indeed.

Sasori struggled to be free from his bonds. He was in a small, locked room, lit by a single candle. The bright-haired woman had thrown him into the closet and stalked away, pleased with her handiwork.

If only he had Hiruko…

Sasori grumbled. Here he was, a highly-ranked missing-nin. Locked in a supply closet. Bound and gagged with a feather boa, of all things.

His arms were tied tightly to his sides. His shuriken pouch had dropped off, probably when the woman dragged him to this godforsaken place.

He needed a plan.

Sasori closed his eyes, thinking. The boa was tightly knotted all over his body. He couldn't extend any of his limbs; the knots were just so damn convoluted.

He looked down and noticed that his left foot was uncovered. A small smile made his lips twitch.

His foot detached from his puppet body. He clenched his teeth as he maneuvered the foot towards the candle, where he gripped the base with his toes.

Satisfied, he brought candle over to burn apart the boa.

Unfortunately for Sasori, his toe dexterity was not quite top-notch. The candle dropped to the floor. In horror, Sasori noticed that the flames were spreading to a stack of magazines piled on the ground.

He blinked, waiting for the emotions to full set in.

"Oh…mother…"

Deidara crawled out of the room on his hands and knees. He gasped for breath.

"GAH!"

Deidara collapsed on the ground. The concrete felt cool against his cheek.

"—Mai! What do you think you're doing, young lady?!"

He looked up to find the woman with painfully bright hair staring down at him, tapping her foot impatiently. Her feather boa was missing.

Deidara was yanked to his feet. The woman began dragging him once again. She clearly had some control issues. "The pageant's about to start!"

He felt himself go numb.

Damn stage fright.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" the bright-haired woman announced cheerfully. "Welcome! I'm Yui, your host for this evening!"

Deidara peered at the audience from behind the curtain. His mouth was dry. For the first time in his life, Deidara was nervous.

Yui laughed merrily. "All right, everyone! Let's bring in the contestants!"

Deidara found himself pushed into the line of women. They began to file on to the stage.

The lights beat down on him, making his forehead glisten with sweat.

"Aren't these ladies lovely?" Yui's voice boomed. "Now let's introduce the judges!"

The teeth on the palms of Deidara's hands were chattering. It was going to be a long night.

Gingerly, Sasori leaned towards the flames, trying to get the feathers close to the heat.

Smoke was beginning to fill the room. He crouched down, willing for his bonds to break quickly.

He used his extended foot to pick at the knots in the boa. At this moment, Sasori was wishing that he had thought to load his foot with weapons.

With a welcome snap!, the bindings around Sasori's upper body broke. He would have to bunny-hop it, but he didn't care at this point.

He extended his arms from his torso, revealing a large array of weaponry in his limbs. Sasori selected a nice long saber and hurled himself against the door. It fell to the ground with a crash.

Freedom.

Smirking, Sasori hopped down the hallway, his legs still bound together with that god-awful feather boa. Flames leapt out of the room behind him.

"Mai," the first judge said. He was a jolly, chubby man who insisted on wearing a monocle. He claimed that it made him look richer. "You are just perfect. Your artwork is amazing, your poise is absolutely brilliant."

Deidara beamed.

The second judge, a unfriendly-looking man with a perpetual scowl upon his face, stroked his chin.

"Good."

The entire audience gasped. They had never heard him say anything positive. Ever.

The last judge, a chipper young woman who would constantly twirl a piece of hair around her finger, gave Deidara a sugar-sweet smile. "And that is why you're this year's pageant queen!"

The crowd broke out into applause. Deidara positively glowed.

"And here is your prize, a million dollar masterpiece by Rem!" Yui exclaimed. The painting was carried onstage, grand and magnificent. Deidara ran up to it.

"Thank you, un!" he exclaimed. "This is such an honor—"

"DEIDARA!"

Everyone turned around to face the young red-haired boy who stood in the doorway, gasping for breath. His legs were wrapped in a hideous feather boa and his clothing was terribly singed. Deidara felt his stomach drop.

"DEIDARA!" Sasori shouted again. He bunny-hopped forward. "Let's get out of here, you bastard!"

"Shut up, un!" Deidara growled.

Yui was livid. "What are you doing here, you grubby little child? What business do you have with Mai?"

"Mai?" Sasori looked confused. "That's my associate up there. Deidara. Now, if you would please let him go…"

Yui nearly dropped her microphone. "Excuse me? Him?"

Deidara was frantically gesturing for Sasori to stop talking.

"Yes," Sasori replied impatiently. "Him. Now, Deidara, if you please…? We have to find the piercings specialist, Yui."

"Yui?" the woman exclaimed. "That's me!"

Several things happened at that point. Most of the audience members lunged forward, coming after Deidara with a bloodthirsty intent. The judges sobbed in each other's arms. And all the color in Yui's face drained away.

"You're the piercings specialist?" one of the guards barked at her. "Come with me, ma'am. You're under arrest for failing to register your business with officials."

"No!" she screeched. "You'll never get me alive, bitches!" With that, she began to sprint off the stage.

A harried looking woman scurried into the room.

"There's a fire in the east wing of the building!" she screeched.

Her cries were lost in the uproar of the crowd, who all came rushing after the blond nin, screaming in outrage.

"SASORI!" Deidara bellowed, as he ran by, grabbing his associate's arm. He began to sprint, dragging Sasori along.

"I hope you're happy," Deidara snarled. "That painting was almost mine, un!"

"That hideous thing?" Sasori scoffed. "And why would you want something like that?"

Deidara glared at him. "You—!"

With that, he pushed Sasori down on the ground and ran for his life. Sasori looked up. The mob was steadily coming closer—

"IT'S ALL HIS FAULT!"

"GET THE KID!"

Sasori blinked.

"Oh…shit."

A/N: Hope you liked it! Next chapter: the conclusion of Tobi and Zetsu's adventure! Thanks for reading, and please review!

I did revise the beginning of chapter one...I felt it was a bit too "ramble-ly." Hope it's a little better now!

Winter break is winding down, and I finally have to finish my DBQ project. Gah. But I will fit in some writing during my breaks, promise. I will be so happy when APUSH is over...