Author's Note: After this chapter, only two more to go…I think. XD
I had some trouble writing this chapter, with the eventfulness of chapter 393. My jaw's still somewhere on the floor…
Kisame felt foolish.
He had reason to feel foolish, of course. After getting mistaken for an oversized fish, Kisame had found himself stuffed and sealed in a rather cramped aquarium, which, to his dismay, held the honor of being located in none other than Orochimaru's room.
Muttering to himself about the absurdity of it all, Kisame tried to find a comfortable position. He just barely fit in the aquarium. Kisame uttered a silent apology to all of the aquatic critters whose space he was violating. How Orochimaru had mistaken him for an average fish, he did not know. And how Orochimaru had dragged him all the way down to his quarters and hoisted him into the aquarium was beyond him.
A hacking noise made Kisame turned his head. Orochimaru, clad in a furry purple bathrobe, lay sprawled over his imperial bed. He was in a feverish sleep; his frequent coughing made his frame twitch sporadically. A hot, angry flush crawled across his face. It was almost pitiful.
All of a sudden, Orochimaru sat up in bed. His puffy eyes remained shut.
"Kabuto-kun," he droned in a crackly voice. "Did you remember to feed the…feed the fish?"
In a semiconscious stupor, Orochimaru swung his bony legs over the side of the bed. As soon as his feet touched the floor, the Sannin swung towards the aquarium in an almost puppet-like fashion. He clumsily grabbed the jar of fish food.
"Kabuto, you forgetful boy," he mumbled hazily. In one lumbering motion, Orochimaru popped off the jar's top and opened a tinydoor in the top of the aquarium. Kisame's eyes grew large.
"Here you go, fishes."
An avalanche of foul smelling flakes came tumbling down around Kisame's head. He sputtered.
Orochimaru regarded the aquarium once more. One eye cracked open.
"I haven't given you treats for a while, have I, my pets?"
Kisame watched in horror as Orochimaru held up a cylindrical container, its label blaring at him through the aquarium's glass.
"Freeze-dried worms," Orochimaru proudly rasped. He tipped in the entire jar.
Kisame felt a little part of him die inside as the little critters showered his face, neck, and found their way into his clothing.
"Enjoy," the Sannin announced. And he slumped on the ground, snoring loudly.
If enjoyment was a synonym for feeling nauseous, then…oh, Kisame was enjoying it, all right.
Uchiha Sasuke wrenched open the door to Karin's room with an inhuman roar. He could feel his hands clasping around his brother's neck; he could almost taste the sweet flavor of victory on his lips.
Itachi was going to die. Here and now.
…And Karin too, Sasuke decided as an afterthought. She could join him, if Itachi hadn't gotten her already.
Sasuke blinked as the scene inside the room unfolded before his eyes.
Karin lay crumpled on the ground, a blob of drool touching the corner of her mouth. Her glasses were missing. Itachi stood over her, his back to the doorway.
"Itachi," Sasuke hissed, forming a fist. Sparks of electricity crackled and danced along his forearm. "Prepare to die!"
Sasuke lunged forward, bringing his arm back and preparing to thrust the Chidori through his brother's heart when…
…Itachi turned around.
"What the—"
Sasuke shrank back. The Chidori disappeared almost as quickly as it had come.
"Wha—"
"Hello, foolish little brother," Itachi said tonelessly. There was something unmistakably familiar perched upon the bridge of his nose.
"Are you wearing Karin's glasses?" Sasuke asked, beyond disbelief.
"Karin?" Itachi frowned. He glanced disdainfully at the unmoving body at his feet. "This female who tried to assault me moments ago, I presume?" He adjusted his new spectacles. "Yes, I believe I am."
"Well…" Sasuke struggled to find apt words. He suddenly grew very angry. "You look like an idiot."
Itachi nodded his head slowly. "I see you've been harboring your hate. Very good, Sasuke."
Sasuke began charging up his Chidori. "Any last words before I continue?" he snarled.
"A few," Itachi said. "Continue to hate me, as always. And, Sasuke…" He paused, poking at Karin's form with his foot. "Make sure you lock your room at night. You do not know who may come in and take your picture while you're asleep."
Sasuke looked confused. "Huh?"
"I must find Kisame," said Itachi, avoiding his brother's confusion. He lowered his glasses and looked directly into Sasuke's eyes. His little brother froze. "Until next time, yes?"
Sasuke found himself being tossed into the depths of Tsukuyomi. He let out a muffled shout as he descended into the darkness, knowing what was coming next.
"A little change of scenery." Itachi's disembodied voice surrounded him. "Think of this as a belated birthday present."
Sasuke landed with a painful thump. He rapidly looked around. This wasn't the Uchiha complex. He was in…Karin's room?
"Sasuke-kuuun."
He swallowed. He could hear his heart pounding in his throat.
A pair of arms wrapped around his torso. Sasuke struggled to free himself.
"You can't escape me this time," Tsukuyomi-Karin purred into his shoulder. She had an iron hold on him; he couldn't escape.
To Sasuke's horror, smooth jazz began playing in the background. The lighting suddenly dimmed.
Itachi, you bastard, Sasuke thought lividly. I'm going to murder you.
Itachi watched as his younger brother crumpled to the floor, face contorted in agony. He adjusted his glasses. This time, he could actually see his brother's pain.
Perhaps Kisame had been right after all. Glasses were useful.
Itachi quickly made his way down the hall. He could feel Kisame's chakra signature in the eastern part of the hideout.
"Ha! You're going no farther!"
Orochimaru's henchman, Kabuto, leaped out in front of Itachi. With a smirk, he settled into an offensive stance.
"I'm not going to let you—oof!"
In one sweeping motion, Itachi snatched Kabuto's glasses and pushed him into the wall.
"What was that?!" Kabuto complained, rubbing his head. He squinted. "Hey, where are my glasses?"
Itachi positioned his second trophy upon the bridge of his nose. His eyesightwas clearer.
"Thank you," Itachi said impassively. Uchihas didn't forget their manners.
He leaned in and stared the young man straight in the eyes with his Sharingan.
"What are you—aaaaah!"
Kabuto found himself in a Tsukuyomi version of none other than Karin's bedroom. He made a croaking noise. There were candles everywhere to soften the lack of light; rose petals lay on the floor. And to his right, Uchiha Sasuke was tied to a chair, looking queasy.
"Run," whispered Sasuke dully. "She's going to be backany minute."
The door open, highlighting a fiendish-looking Karin. She grinned evilly.
"I see we have another guest," the Tsukuyomi version of her drawled. She held up a long piece of rope in one hand and pointed to an empty chair with another. "Why don't you take a seat?"
Kabuto screamed.
Kisame had been in captivity for over an hour. The fish flakes dusting his face and collar began to actually smell…appetizing.
Feeling pitiful, Kisame extended his tongue, attempting to catch a few flakes.
The door burst open.
"Kisame. We're leaving."
Eyes wide with hope, Kisame turned his head towards the door. Itachi stood in the doorway. His blood-red irises were magnified by two pairs of glasses.
"Kabuto-kun? Is that you?"
Orochimaru, who had been sitting up in bed reading, glanced over at Itachi with his puffy eyes.
"It is you! Do you have my soup?"
Itachi touched the rim of his newglasses. Orochimaru clearly thought him to be Kabuto.
"I do not," Itachi said flatly, as he moved towards the aquarium. He took off the lid and began to tug Kisame out of the cramped space. The Mist-nin came tumbling to the floor.
"What are you doing, Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru was puzzled. "I thought you cleaned the tank this morning."
"I'm retrieving my associate," Itachi replied. He threw a kunai at the door, rendering it inoperable. Orochimaru was trapped. "We are taking you hostage, Orochimaru, until you give us some crucial information."
There was no answer. Itachi assumed it was because the Sannin was in a state of shock.
"You hear that, Orochimaru?" chuckled Kisame. "You're a hostage."
Orochimaru didn't reply.
"Hey, what's wrong with him?" Kisame frowned. Orochimaru was slumped over, his hair obscuring his face.
Itachi strode over to the bed and yanked up Orochimaru head. The Sannin was asleep.
"What—"
The Uchiha glanced over at the bedside table. A bottle of sleeping pills sat atop a stack of tabloids.
"He will be asleep for another eight hours," Itachi said emotionlessly.
"So does that mean we have to stay here until he—"
The door exploded in a burst of electricity. Sasuke and Kabuto, their faces unbelievably pale, stood in the doorway.
"We're going to kill you, Itachi," Sasuke snarled. His legs shook slightly. "How dare you Tsukuyomi us into Karin's room! Do you know what she did?"
"And how dare you take my glasses!" Kabuto added, facing the wrong way.
Itachi cleared his throat. "It seems as though we're trapped," he said. "We cannot wait here for eight hours until Orochimaru wakes up."
"Should we leave?" Kisame asked unhappily.
"I suppose so," was the reply.
Itachi turned to face the two intruders. The tomoe in his Sharingan began to spin.
"Farewell."
And with that, Sasuke and Kabuto fell twitching on the floor. Horrified, they found themselves in Karin's room once more.
"Back for another round, boys?"
There were screeches of agony.
Author's Note: Reviews would be greatly appreciated!