AN: Holy smokes, thanks to everyone who reviewed. I hope you all enjoyed your teaser ;) I forgot to tell all of y'all that I set up a thread for you guys over a Twilighted, and I decided that I will be posting teasers on the thread every Monday!
http://www (dot) twilighted (dot) ?f=44&t=7126
Also, voting for The Fandom Gives Back starts on Sunday, and I would love it if someone would buy me and some out takes from Off Limits. Bid on me please—it's for an incredible cause. Thread is here.
http://thefandomgivesback (dot) proboards (dot) ?board=fic&action=display&thread=112
Not much to say other than my usual thanks to Lisa89 for making my chapters look far prettier than when I write them. And to everyone in the WC's this week making me get my chapter finished on time, haha. WCs are the best form of peer pressure. Love you girls and your pervy minds. And il-bel-mondo especially for getting me into it in the first place. Go check out her story if you haven't yet, please. It's on my favorites ;)
Also, super extra thanks to the Call Girls for stepping up the plate and giving Edward his spanking. I think he's starting to come to his senses…
~Bella~
As my arms clung around Emmett's wide shoulders, I tried my very best to purge the image of Edward's lips on her cheek from my mind. It made my stomach hurt just thinking about how he'd touched her before. If their greeting had been that intimate, I could only imagine what else they'd done together. I needed some brain bleach ASAP. Ugh.
Emily.
Now I remembered her. She was blonde and perky and about the size of my pinky. But she wasn't a cute, hyper midget like Alice…no. She was loud and obnoxious and had a face that made her look like she was twelve years old. And Edward was okay with fucking (yes, I had acknowledged that much already) her?
"I don't like her," Rosalie spoke up as we trekked through the darkness to our cabin. Alice and I both looked up, raising our eyes in disbelief at the blunt Southerner. "What?" she asked. "You all were thinking it. I just said it."
Emmett chuckled so softly that the only reason I heard it was because I could feel the vibrations through his back. "I'm not a huge fan, either. I'll admit it."
That was all Alice needed to hear to add her two cents, which I was sure had been brewing since she'd first laid eyes on the offending woman. "Ugh, as soon as she started talking, I remembered her. I could practically hear her screeching, 'No, Alice, hold the stick further down…really? You're tired already?' and blah, blah, blah. Seriously, I don't know if I'll be able to keep hanging out with you guys if she's always around. Will she always be around?" Alice ranted.
"God, I hope not," Rosalie mumbled.
"She also looks like she's twelve."
Emmett stopped in his tracks and tilted his head towards mine slightly before breaking into loud, earsplitting guffaws. Rosalie and Alice turned around, watching the bizarre scene in front of them and joined in on the laughter, too.
"She speaks!" Emmett wheezed through his laughter. Annoyed, I flopped my head back down onto Emmett's back and pinched his bicep firmly. "Ow! What the fuck, LB?"
"She really does look like she's twelve," Alice agreed readily.
Thanks, best friend. I can always count on you.
Finally back at our bunk, Emmett dropped me down onto my bed before sitting at the foot of it, waiting patiently. He looked like he needed to talk to me about something.
"Yes, Em?"
"I wanted to tuck you into bed." He smiled, leaping up to pull the covers around me. I rolled my eyes. That was absolutely not what he was waiting for, but I guessed we'd discuss it later…perhaps when so many people weren't around. "Night, ladies." He winked at Rosalie before shutting the door behind him.
"Okay." Rosalie smiled wickedly. "Let's chat, Bella."
We spent the next three hours talking about everything. I learned every minute detail of Rosalie's relationship with Royce—he wasn't comfortable being in a long distance relationship (even for three months), he was very protective of her, he'd been her first, and they'd gotten into a huge fight tonight, so she was glad that I'd picked a comedy for us to watch. In return, I told her all about Edward. And me and Edward. Mostly me wanting to do dirty, dirty things to Edward and how he obviously still thought of me as a little sister.
"If he does, then he's fooling himself," Rosalie laughed. I raised my eyebrow in question. "Hun, I know you thought you were being all sneaky with the white t-shirt and no bra, but trust me…he noticed. Hell, he's probably going to dream about your perky little boobs tonight. Which, PS…nice!" She winked as she gave my boobs a small love tap. I blushed at being called out so obviously. But it's true. My boobs are awesome. Hence their vulgar display tonight. Clearly, I have no shame. And I was happy to realize that we were already at that point in our relationship. Boob groping between girls was always welcomed in my book. It was a true sign of friendship.
Rosalie was incredible. She made me feel so relaxed and happy, even when she embarrassed the hell out of me. She was the quintessential girl next door…if the girl next door had a bad case of potty mouth. She was nearly as inappropriate as I was. Additionally, it was nice to have a new best friend—someone else to confide in, who wasn't so biased or close to the situation.
"All right, girls, it's almost four, and we have to be at assembly tomorrow by nine so this beauty needs some sleep. Sweet dreams."
We fell asleep quickly, happy to have found each other so easily.
The rest of the week followed a similar routine. We'd wake up, go through the pre-camp meetings and lesson planning, and then watch a movie at Bunk Seven and head back to our cabin to gossip for a few hours. Alice, Rosalie, and I became a unit—completely inseparable—while Edward, Jasper, Jake, and Emmett formed their own. It was two of the best weeks of my entire life.
I'd toned back my "seduction"—if that was what you could call it—ever since Rosalie had called me out on my white t-shirt move, so things were progressing slowly at best. In fact, if I were to be honest, I'd admit that things hadn't really progressed at all. Edward and I were in some sort of purgatory limbo. And he definitely hadn't invited me back into his bed since that first night. But my rack and I would be working on that in the near future…one push up bra at a time. Thanks, Victoria. It's not really a secret. I couldn't help but feel smug when I saw Edward's eyes linger slightly on my chest, but that was essentially the only change.
After almost two weeks of gossiping and hours of my complaining about Edward, Rosalie insisted on buying me new underwear. She said if I wanted someone to eventually be seeing it, I should wear underwear that wanted to be seen. Positive Pussy Reinforcement, she called it. I had yet to put the plan into action, but my hoo-hah and I had high hopes.
Luckily, Emily hadn't been around that much, so I didn't need to run much interference. She'd stop by every so often to invite the boys out, but they never took her up on her offers. She and her best friend Sam had fallen in with the latest party crowd, who would go out drinking every night. And while I enjoyed drinking occasionally, I couldn't bring myself to drink in the presence of Emmett for at least a few more weeks (if ever). A little part of me thrilled every time Edward turned her down.
Tonight, though, the routine was being broken. It was the last night before the campers arrived, which meant that our total dynamic was going to shift again. And I was a little nervous. We had each gotten our bunk assignments. I had a group of thirteen-year-olds, as did Rosalie (thank God, she was only two bunks down), but Alice was being put with the nine-year-olds, all the way across campus from us. And tonight was the first night that we hadn't watched a movie in Bunk Seven or gossiped until three AM.
Instead, I was sitting alone in my bunk, trying to clean it up for the kids, who would no doubt be making a huge mess of it tomorrow. Looking at the clock, I noticed that it was already one AM, and I still felt completely wired. I tried to get comfortable on my bed, but it felt odd being alone in the cabin. I closed my eyes and started counting back from one hundred, hoping to calm my racing mind, but all I could think about was planning my underwear choices for the next week and what Edward would have to say if he saw them.
"Bella!' My eyes snapped open and I sat up quickly, banging my head on the shelf above my bed.
"Ow…" I rubbed my forehead. Just great. Now I would be able to welcome my new campers with a lump on my head. I looked in the direction of the offending voice, only to be greeted with the sight of a guilty-looking Rosalie. "Rose?"
"Sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to scare you." She climbed onto the bed next to me. "I was just lonely in my bunk."
"Samesies."
"Want to go hang out on the front porch?" I nodded readily and hopped out of bed, not even bothering to put on shoes. Rosalie held my hand as we walked through the soft grass, not saying anything. It wasn't needed. We both understood that this was the last night of the little bubble world we'd been living in for the past fourteen days. I led her to my favorite Adirondack chair, the one I'd spent the first night of camp in, gossiping with Jake and Emmett.
Naturally, our conversation moved quickly to Edward and my frustrations with our weird relationship stasis.
"You're over-thinking it, Bella," Rosalie sighed.
"Over-thinking what?"
"Okay, I'm going to be a hundred percent honest with you because I can, right?" She paused, waiting for my approval to continue. Rose was never anything but honest, so if she had to stop and ask…what she was about to say was probably going to hurt. I nodded nervously. "You don't actually like Edward."
"Uh, what?" That was ridiculous. Of course I liked Edward. I had liked Edward forever! "I'm fairly certain that I do, Rose."
She scowled and grabbed my hand tightly. "Honey, that's not what I meant. You like Edward, but not in the way where he's going to like you back."
"What the fuck does that even mean?" I growled, growing offended by her blatant disregard for feelings I had harbored for five years.
"Stop interrupting me!" She scowled again. "Listen, you like Edward like he's a celebrity. You don't actually know him. You think you know him, but you don't really. You've put him up on this pedestal that he can't possibly live up to. He's not the gorgeous, talented, hilarious, amazing guy you gush about every night."
"I—"
"I'm not finished, Bella." I zipped my mouth shut and pretended to throw away the key. "I've been around Edward when it's just us and Emmett, and he's this whole other person that you've never met before. And I'm not saying that you wouldn't like that person, but I just don't think you know him very well. Edward…he's socially awkward and generally uncomfortable with relationships, which he compensates for by joking constantly. He's crude and inappropriate—almost as much as you—but he's also a major nerd. His Star Wars obsession eclipses even your obsession with him. He even plays with action figures…"
"He does what?" I asked, completely incredulous.
"Yeah! That's what my reaction was! You just have to wait to see them, Bella…it's pretty hilarious. He has a Jesus action figure, called Judo Jesus, and he has him fight his Spiderman action figure. They battle to the death. Judo Jesus usually ends up getting crucified…" She giggled at her own pun.
The more Rosalie talked about Edward, the more I realized that we hadn't spent that much time together in a social setting. We really weren't that well acquainted, which bothered me a lot more than I'd admit to Rosalie in that instant…especially since she'd known him for two weeks and clearly knew more about him than I did. I didn't realize that Rosalie had been spending so much time alone with the boys without me. I wondered briefly where I'd been during those moments and why she hadn't taken me along with her.
Instead of commenting, I changed the topic to something Rosalie would want to talk about: college football. Since I was going to USC and she was going to LSU, we were now rivals, which was really fun to joke about. Rosalie and I were deep in conversation when I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I whipped my head around, only to see my favorite crooked grin. "Hey!" I said, surprised.
"What are you two doing up? Isn't it a bit past your bedtime?" I smiled and shook my head, but I groaned on the inside. Of course he would say something like that. The past two weeks had been sprinkled with some not-so-subtle reminders that I was incredibly young.
"It's definitely past my bedtime, but Bella's a little insomniac and needed some company." Rosalie laid her head on my shoulder, yawning exaggeratedly. I wanted to laugh at her theatrics.
"If you wanted to get some sleep, I could take her off your hands," Edward suggested, shoving his hands firmly into the pockets of his shorts. My stomach fluttered at the thought of being alone with Edward. With everything Rosalie and I had just discussed, it was clear that it needed to happen…I just wasn't sure if I could do it. Needless to say, I was nervous.
"Oh, would you, Edward?" Rosalie feigned her gratitude. "That would be so great. I'm exhausted." She yawned again, standing up to stretch. I shot my eyes to her in a quick glare before smiling back at Edward, who was now taking her place on the small love seat.
"Not a problem. LB and I haven't had a chance to really catch up anyway. Too much movie-watching and napping going on for that." He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder to pull me into his side. I sighed happily. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie attempting to stifle her laughter.
"Well, goodnight, you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she warned as she laughed under her breath. And with a large wave, she skipped off into the darkness, back towards her cabin. I wondered for a second if the whole thing had been a set up, but…how would she have known that Edward would be around when clearly everyone else was in bed? I shook my head to rid it of those foolish thoughts before sinking even further into Edward's side.
"So, you're an insomniac?" We both gazed forward, over the sprawling front hill and out to the lake, which was sparkling under the nearly full moon.
"Only when I can't shut my brain off."
"And why can't you shut your brain off tonight?" My mind immediately started thinking about the new slutty pairs of underwear waiting to be seen by him, but I didn't think we were quite ready to discuss those yet. Instead, I glanced upwards to answer him and was completely taken off guard by his eyes, which seemed to be piercing through the darkness and seeing through the shoddy façade of attempted indifference I'd put up.
I gulped nervously. "I have a bunch of story lines I can't stop thinking about," I lied.
"I thought you wanted to be a director?"
"And a writer," I answered, sounding oddly cold. He sighed and looked forward again, but I couldn't take my eyes off his face. I examined the sturdy line of his jaw, which was stubble free for the first time in two weeks.
"You shaved." My thumb landed on the bottom of his jaw, running over the smooth skin lightly, without conscious thought. As I saw his Adam's apple move just below my hand, I realized that I had initiated contact with Edward for the first time all summer. And it was a bit awkward. Or maybe that was just me. He remained motionless under my finger until I cleared my throat and retreated nervously, placing my hand back into my lap. I felt the vibrations of his soft laughter and looked up again.
"You haven't changed a bit, Bella."
Of course. Because that's what every person who has tried so desperately to be seen as something different wants to hear, right?
Maybe I should just take off my clothes…then maybe he'd see how I've changed. It's amazing what a wax will do for a girl's confidence.
Ah, yes—let's not forget the OTHER half of Rosalie's Positive Pussy Reinforcement plan. Fuck, that shit hurt.
"So, why USC?" he continued, completely oblivious to my inner turmoil.
I smiled and looked forward again. This I could answer without hesitation. "I knew I wanted to stay on the west coast, so NYU and RISD and Syracuse were out. I looked at UCLA first, and it blew…and not in the good way." He laughed a short bark of a laugh at that comment, clearly unprepared for my potty mouth. I continued on and pretended not to notice. "There's just something so inviting about USC. I had this odd, visceral reaction to walking around the campus, like I just knew I belonged there. I may or may not have cried during our tour of the Zemeckis center, which is their soundstage. They have a fucking sound stage. Can you believe that? My parents thought I was crazy, of course. But I applied, and I got into their production program, so I'm pretty happy."
"Did you say Zemeckis Center…as in…Robert Zemeckis?" Edward looked shocked.
"Oh, yeah. Bob's an alum. What now?" I gloated. "And on the school's board of councilors." Edward exhaled slowly. I couldn't decipher his facial expression. It was confused? Pissed? Happy? Why am I so bad at reading people? The silence was overwhelmingly oppressive. Finally, Edward responded.
"Wow. USC," he said, sounding pained and looking unsure.
"What?" I asked, genuinely curious about his sudden change in disposition.
"I…uh…I guess I'm a little jealous." He laughed awkwardly, his gazed fixed back on the shimmering lake.
"Jealous of me?" No way. "That's ridiculous…"
"You're going to be such a huge success, Bella. I'm still trying to get the hell out of Providence…" He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends, trying to muster up a smile for me. "My only claim to fame is selling school books to Leelee Sobieski when she went to Brown."
"You could move to LA with me," I blurted out. My filter must still be broken.
"If I knew I could make a living out there, I'd be there in a second." He sighed, leading us into another bout of awkward silence.
Talking to Edward was so much harder than I'd anticipated. It had never been like this when I'd been a camper. Our conversation had been fluid and effortless, but now…I could FEEL the effort that both of us were putting in. I mean, shit. This is painful. And even with all of those efforts, we were still lagging.
What the hell happened?
Edward fidgeted underneath my weight and squeezed the hand that was placed in my lap.
"I should probably get to bed." He shifted again so that I could lean away from him. I missed his body heat as soon as we were separated. He stood up slowly, stretching his arms above his head. I glanced briefly at the small sliver of skin that peeked out from between the waistband of his shorts and the hem of his t-shirt.
"Yeah, me too…" I attempted to stand up, but I failed to realize that both of my feet had fallen asleep. They had been tucked underneath me for at least an hour. My ankles buckled under my weight, and I crashed straight into Edward's chest with a loud oomph.
Embarrassed, I put my hands on his chest, attempting to push myself away from him to stand upright. But Edward's arms were wrapped firmly around my waist, not letting me move away. I tilted my head upwards and bit my lip in confusion.
As soon as we locked eyes, my breathing picked up. I had to consciously remember to steady it, counting, "in one…two, release one…two," to prevent hyperventilation. Edward was staring at me. And it wasn't just a friendly stare. No, he was looking at me so intently, it looked like he was trying to figure me out like a difficult math problem. His green eyes glowed in the moonlight, making them appear almost iridescent. Needless to say, I was completely captivated. Wasn't green the color of lust, after all? I'd heard that somewhere before…I knew I had. And I felt like I was being pulled into a cyclone of horny by Edward's glowing green eyes.
Stunned, my jaw dropped slightly, letting my bottom lip free from my teeth. Edward's gaze flicked down to the freed lip before returning to my eyes, his brow furrowing even further. He blinked rapidly then, and glanced down at the ground before releasing his hold on my waist and helping me stand again.
"Do you have your camera here this summer?"
"Wha—?" I was still trying to document every detail of our "moment." Because that was exactly what it had been…a moment. A bizarre one. An inexplicable one. But a moment nonetheless.
"Your camera…did you bring it with you?" His question shook me out of my lusty haze.
"No, did you need one? Wait, that's a really stupid question, of course you don't…" I bit my lip again and looked down at the ground. I was rapidly becoming a total spaz in his presence. This was new and unexpected, and I wasn't quite sure what to do about it yet.
"I should give you the combination to the shack. In case you want to work on any projects during your insomniac nights. You can borrow the cameras anytime." My head snapped up towards him.
"24, 9, 14…right?" He smiled then, finally. A real, genuine, non-awkward smile, which made my breathing pick up again.
"Steel trap, I see," he laughed, putting his index fingers on either side of my head to point towards my brain. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."
I walked back to my cabin, not really sure of what had happened. Things with Edward were definitely changing.
I knew that the comfortable repartee we used in the company of others was nowhere to be found when it was just the two of us tonight, which had never really happened before. And I knew that Edward had discovered something about me…I just had no idea what that "something" was. Lastly, I knew without a doubt that my attraction to Edward had only increased with the layers of himself that he was willing to share with me. I felt like I was finally getting to know Edward the man…not just Edward the friend or Edward the counselor. It scared me shitless.
I realized that Rosalie had been completely right. I liked Edward like a celebrity. It was safe to be "obsessed" with him because I never had to commit to anything real. There wasn't really a chance that he could like me back. But now, the dynamic of our relationship had completely altered. I wasn't the innocent camper, and he wasn't the cool, older counselor…we were simply Bella and Edward.
But I was now more motivated than ever to continue my plans of seduction. Looks like I may need to make a weekly appointment with Elsa the waxer, after all. I could only hope that the look we'd shared tonight was an indication of things to come.
~Edward~
As I sprinted back towards Bunk Seven, one thought ran through my mind on repeat. I was fucked. Totally and utterly fucked. I felt like a creepy, child-molesting pedophile, and I needed a shower stat. Preferably a freezing cold one.
As if it weren't bad enough that her white t-shirt-clad tits had been making cameos in my dreams for the past two weeks, I had now gotten a boner…in front of Bella. No, not just in front of Bella. Because of Bella. A Bella boner, if you will. Oh, Jesus.
To be honest, the boobs I could kind of excuse. I was a guy—a really nerdy art school freak who hadn't even gotten to touch one until he'd been twenty-one—so the titty dreamage didn't freak me out so much. I was never doing anything with them in my dreams…they were just kind of on display. As they had been that night.
But tonight. Fuck. Tonight had been different. There was no dismissing my erection. It had happened. And I was starting to go into panic mode.
I hadn't even planned on leaving my bunk tonight. I'd merely been forced to vacate when Emmett and Jake had decided that it'd be a great idea to start playing Rock Band IN MY ROOM at midnight. Jasper had thought it was hilarious, cheering for both of them with each round. But I'd been annoyed and feeling restless, so I'd decided to take a late-night stroll around camp.
I'd walked from our bunk down to the lake and sat on the dock for a good hour before I'd heard people up by the front porch. I had decided to investigate and potentially make friends with my fellow insomniacs. I had been shocked to find Bella and Rosalie out there.
Talking to Bella had been…harder than I'd thought it was going to be. In more ways than one. In the video shack, we'd always been able to talk about anything. I'd been her counselor, yes, but I'd also been her confidante and her teacher. Free speech just accompanied that. Two years ago, I could recite Bella's favorite movies and her top most-played songs on her ipod. Tonight, though, I'd realized that I didn't know why she had applied to USC or even that she wanted to write as well as direct. Absentee parent was right. Except thinking that now was just so wrong. I really had to stop with the sibling and parental references. Incest boners were never okay…you hear me, John Phillips? Not cool.
I was definitely going to have to take a step back and reassess the Bella situation. We had both changed a lot in the past two years, and I wasn't really sure where that left us.
Honestly, I couldn't help the strange attraction I had felt towards her tonight. I was physically pulled to her. When she'd crashed into me, my hands had refused to leave their place on her waist. They'd gripped her closer to me, feeling her body heat seep through my t-shirt. And when she'd looked up at me with her big doe eyes, looking all innocent and shining under the moon…and her bottom lip was contorted by her front teeth…gah! That'd been when my cock decided to speak up. I'd been so freaked out by its sudden arrival that I'd had to take a huge step backwards and get the hell out of dodge before I did something crazy. Like kiss her. And God knew I could under NO circumstances kiss Bella.
I may have had a weirdly sexual reaction to her tonight, but I couldn't let her become one of my summer flings. I was terrible at relationships. I just didn't do them. I never had and probably never would. I needed to figure out my own shit without having to worry about being a good boyfriend. And Bella deserved a great boyfriend. She was a fantastic girl. I felt like I was having some sort of existential crisis, questioning the very fabric of my existence.
Shut up, you pansy.
Sighing and refusing to dwell on it, I trudged back into the bunk. Jake and Emmett were already snoring, but Jasper was still up reading.
"1984?"
He propped himself up on his elbow to face me. "Yeah, I have a weird thing about conspiracy theories. I know, I'm totally crazy." We both laughed.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair again. "No, I get it. Big brother is out there. I can't even watch porn on my computer without feeling like somebody's watching me." I attempted a laugh, but mentioning porn just took my mind back to Bella's rack and my recently-squashed boner.
Oo. Titty fucking.
Oh my God. You're imagining putting your cock in between Bella'stits, you sick pervert.
I really AM a creepy child molester. I should be castrated.
"Uh, I don't mean to pry, but you look like you've just seen a ghost. Care to share?"
I shook my head vehemently. "Trust me, you don't want to know." I don't even want to know.
Jasper looked skeptical. "Okay. I'll let it slide this time, but just know that you can tell me stuff. I'm apparently really easy to talk to." He laughed, winking at me before returning to his book.
I groaned and slid into bed. Minutes later, Jasper turned out the light. And an hour after that, my brain was still going on overdrive. I realized what Bella had meant about not being able to turn your brain off. I flopped my body over again, trying to find a more comfortable position, but it was fruitless.
I sat up and turned the light back on.
"What the hell?" Jasper moaned, covering his eyes with his pillow.
"I think I want to talk," I blurted out quickly, tripping over my words.
Jasper's eyes widened, and he rolled over to face me as he still lay in bed. "Okay, Cullen. Do your worst. Why the hell are you having a panic attack at three AM?"
I didn't actually want to give Jasper specifics, so I decided to gloss over a little bit. "Let's say, hypothetically, that I became…um…aroused by someone tonight, and it made me feel kind of like a pedophile. Am I a pedophile?"
Jasper flopped back onto the bed and laughed…loudly. And he kept laughing. I was starting to get annoyed.
"Jasper!"
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" he choked out, settling down slightly. "Okay, okay…is that it?"
"Yes…"
"So you're freaked out because Bella gave you a boner?"
"Wh…I...ho…c…di...fu…huh?" I sputtered unintelligibly, causing Jasper to laugh again.
"You said you felt like a pedophile, and I know you didn't get a boner from Alice because you wouldn't be telling me. So, my deductive reasoning tells me that you got—what did you say—aroused? Because of Bella."
"Shh! Keep your voice down!" I panicked again, even though I knew that Jake and Emmett both slept like the dead.
"Edward, it's okay."
"It's not okay. I'm a complete monster who wanted to take advantage of a nice little girl tonight…and oh my God, I just called her a little girl and I was thinking about bending her over my arm and ramming into her from—" Jasper put up his hand to stop me. Thank God. I was getting a bit disgusted with myself with that train of thought.
"Let's think about this rationally. Was it an accidental boner?"
"Um, what?" I scoffed. "There's no such thing as an accidental boner, Jasper."
"Trust me, there is," Jasper argued, looking more serious now. "Haven't you ever gotten one in front of your friends' moms or at church or something unconventional like that? It happens. If it's a one-time thing—it's accidental. If it happens continually…then that's something else. Was this the first time it happened around her?" I nodded, trying to take in everything he was throwing back at me. "Well, you've been hanging out with her for the past two weeks, and it's never happened before. I vote accidental. Don't freak out, Edward. I don't think you're a pedophile, so stop referring to yourself as that. It's creepy. And untrue. She's eighteen, for the record."
An accidental erection, hmmm. Jasper was right. It hadn't happened in the past two weeks—not even with the white t-shirt (LIAR—you totally started to! Supressing an erection isn't the same as not getting one at all, my inner voice argued). Tonight had to have been a fluke. I wasn't sure what I'd been thinking at the time. Maybe I hadn't been thinking at all.
All I knew was that I wanted to get to know the real Bella more. As a friend. No boners involved. And if tonight was truly a one-time thing, then it shouldn't be a problem at all.
"Thanks for talking me off the ledge, Jasper." I turned the light back off as I heard a muffled, "You're welcome," from Jasper.
Temporarily appeased, I fell into a dreamless slumber.
Chapter End Notes: Call Girls, are you buying this "accidental boner" business? …Yeah, I'm not buying it either.
Want to discuss? Go and head over to the thread, but don't forget to leave a review first! Your feedback means so much me. And I'm not above threatening…we wouldn't want Edward to "accidentally" sleep with Emily or something, right? Do you want to be responsible for that plot debacle? If not…review away, my pretties.
PS – Countdown to New Moon…one week!!!