Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking... 'why such a short chapter, when you haven't posted in months'?'

Well... I got nothing. No excuse, except for the fact that I'm kinda in a writer's rut right now :/ But keep in mind it says Part 1. Part 2 is still to come :) And also... Is anyone actaully reading this anymore? lol

And I don't own Kingdom Hearts or blah, blah, blah ;P

Kairi giggled. "Oh my God, you really are! That's so hot!"

Riku felt a shudder go through him. He was angry. Not only angry – he was pissed off. He took a deep breath, not wanting to scare Sora. "Kairi," he said pleasantly through gritted teeth. "I am in the middle of devouring my boyfriend. Please leave, and we will discuss this later."

Sora, on the other hand, had frozen. His eyes moved to glance at Riku, and he almost – almost – came back to Earth. Riku looked kind of... stray. His hair was mussed, his mouth was swollen, and his pupils were dilated to the point where Sora thought he may have actually lost it.

Kairi... Kairi... Kairi...

Sora had no idea what to do. He opened his mouth, proud that he could move it, but then closed it again. A small whimper escaped his mouth, and that brought him around. He realised the depth of the situation, and immediately blushed. So much blood rushed at one time that it all pooled in Sora's forehead, and he found himself with a pulsing headache.

He went to curl himself into Riku's stomach, before realising that the action would probably only increase the awkwardness and tensity of the situation. So instead he closed his eyes. He imagined he was sitting in front of a warm fire, smiling at Riku.

The Riku in his mind was happier, smiling back. His skin flicked with yellow and orange as the shadow of the light made its' way across the burning wood. His eyes seemed to be silver, and although they blinded Sora, he wanted to stare into them, too mesmerised to think.

Riku said something, but Sora was in such a state that he missed it. He missed Kairi's reply, too, but her voice shattered the image of Riku, replacing it with something distorted – reminding Sora of the time when he tripped and spilled his glass of water on the mirror, making his face seem whack.

He felt like crying. Not because everyone would soon know, not because Riku and Kairi were surely fighting, but because the happy Riku was gone. He knew that when he opened his eyes, he would either see a sadistic Riku, or an extremely angry Riku. But he didn't want to see either. He wanted to see the free-spirited Riku that was around in the lingering memories and dreams.

But Riku wouldn't be like that if Kairi or Axel or even Roxas knew. He would be angry and closed off, or very protective and jealous. Sora knew how much emotion Riku hid when Kairi or Axel teased him flirtatiously. And he also knew that Axel would step up his game if he found out.

He clinched his finger into fists. His knuckles already felt bruised. He could feel that thick layer of tar and anger grip all of his organs painfully tight. His eyes opened, and he wasn't in control of himself anymore. But he knew what he needed to say to get everyone out of this situation.

"We don't actually love each other, Kairi," said Sora in his harsh voice. He hoped that the other two could see the real him crying out to them in his cold eyes. Apparently, they couldn't. "He's just a good fuck, that's all."

Riku looked at him, in pain. Sora almost went back to normal. But not quite. He was still too annoyed and too embarrassed to care. And as Riku's pain got worse, so did Sora's mood. Kairi just bit her lip, looking back and forth between the two.

"Shit, guys, I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone, I swear."

Riku straightened up, and suddenly the emotion from his face was gone. Sora winced inside – two were going to play the game, then. "No," said the older boy. "Tell everyone. Tell them all that Sora was good for sex, but nothing else."

Sora scoffed, but said nothing else. The both glared at each other – the real Sora screaming out that he loved the silverette, and he never wanted to hurt him.

But Riku didn't seem to get the message. He only saw the mask, the thing Sora pretended to be. Sora, the true, trapped Sora, would give nothing to shatter his stupid pride and run into Riku's arms. I love you, he thought desperately to his boyfriend.

"I hate you," the brunette spat. "And you're worthless than me."

There was no shock in Riku's eyes – he felt the same. Instead he turned and walked away, hurting Sora even more.

I love you, he thought desperately to his ex-boyfriend.

No eating. No drinking. No smiling. No frowning. No crying. No laughing. No speaking. No nothing. Except sleep. Riku got plenty of that. Too much, in fact.

He had felt his heart shatter when Sora had said that. It had shattered into so many pieces – some flying so far away that he would probably never get them back. Some lodged so deep into other pieces that he wasn't going to risk both splinters just for the small chance of gaining one.

Riku was still in shock. He had thought – hoped – that it would be like last time, and Sora would come find him and apologise. It still wouldn't have been the same, Riku knew that much, but it would have helped possible a little bit.

But it had been almost a week, and Sora hadn't even called. Rike would sit next to his phone - not desperate or anything - just staring at it as if enough wishing would make it ring. It didn't ring. Not even once. Not even for a call from someone else. This made Riku upset. Upset and angry and hurt. What happened to Sora loving Riku? Where had that come from? Nowhere, it seemed.

Riku didn't even want to draw anymore. He looked away from his ceiling and down at his ankles. He had ripped one of his sketchbooks in half while he was in one of his anger fits. The only time Riku didn't feel dead was when he was angry - but that was draining enough as it was, and afterwards Riku felt even tired than before.

The silverette kept thinking back to when Sora and him had first got together. He had been so sure that Sora had loved him. But Sora couldn't act. Never. And even if he could, his guilt would have tripped him and he would have returned by now. So Riku just took it that Sora didn't want to come back.

His phone went off. Riku jumped. He was laying down, but somehow he jumped. He scrambled over to his phone. He was hopeful, hoping, but it was only Kairi. The silverette could imagine the look of annoyance on the girl's face if she found out how much disappointment Riku got from seeing her name on his screen. He clicked the green button, and suddenly there was a message telling Riku to come to Kairi's house ASAP, but to make sure he hid fully in a tree or something.

Intruiged, Riku sat up. He got a massive dizzy spell, but he knew that Kairi wouldn't disappoint him. She wouldn't just make him get out of bed and hide in a tree for nothing. And as Riku got dressed, fighiting nausea, he saw the silver circles swirl in front of his eyes. Riku stumbled for a bit, and landed on his bed, his pants half way up his legs. I am, possibly, officially insane.

Now Riku, being a normal enough teenager, hated thinking that. That thought did not reasure him, it did not tell him everything was okay. It just built up on his list of reasons why Sora had never loved him. But he was sure Sora had been true! He had... He had...

Riku sat up. He didn't give a shit if he was insane. Being insane was bliss. He would have no idea what was going on, no emotions to starve off. He would be content in his own mind. No one would bother him, not even himself. He would feel no guilt or pain - just pure, sweet bliss and nothing else.

Standing back up he felt giddy. Yes, sure, he was losing it a bit, but that was nothing. Nothing compared to what he deserved. He wasn't worth Sora. Was he really worth anything anymore? The silverette did not know the answer, but maybe that was a good thing. He was already on the road to Paradise.

Now Riku knew why he had to hide. Sora was there. And he looked... emotionless.

"Now," said Kairi sternly. "Sit down, and you are going to tell me everything."

Sora sat on the floor obediently. "Everything...?"

Walking forward to tower over Sora, Kairi glared down at him. "Speak."

Riku wanted to call out to the red head to stop being so threatening to Sora, but realising that the brunette boy would probably not do the same for him, he contained himself. He just stared at his ex-boyfriend, cringing at how little expression there was. He wasn't even human anymore. He was just... a non-Sora. An anti-Sora. His eyes were dead. His lips looked pale. His cheeks were sharp, and then Riku figured out why everything seemed so distorted.

Sora looked older. His face was sharper, just everything about it - sharper. In a way, Sora reminded Riku of Leon, that guy that Riku worked with sometimes in Science. Leon always kept a straight face, had a level head and never thought outside the box. He spoke in a monotone and had probably never had a girlfriend in his life.

And Riku didn't want to imagine Sora like that.

Sora was supposed to be cheerful, happy, all prancing around and whatnot. Not depressed and crouching over himself on Kairi's carpet floor. Where did Riku's light go? Riku's way out of wherever he was when he was alone? There was nothing to save him anymore. Sora wasn't just dead - he was empty. At least Riku had emotions.

In a sick, twisted way, Riku was winning a game he hadn't even volunteered to play.

Riku moved the leaves that were tackling his eyelashes to the side, just in time to see Sora sigh silently. Here, Riku had a good look at both Kairi's worried face and Sora's lack of expression.

"Riku," said Sora simply. "He was my everything, ya know? He was always there for me when I was a kid and stuff, and then I found out that I... I..."

Sora had started to shake here, and even Kairi wasn't that tough as to force him when he was like this. "What did you find out, Sora?" she asked the shaking boy softly.

Sora made a noise that was not a squeak nor a choke, but somehow both. "I... I loved him!"

Riku's foot slipped, and Sora turned around, jumpnig at the sound of the leaves rustling. The sad boy stood up and walked over to the window slowly. "There's no wind outside," said Sora plainly, but Riku wasn't sure if he was speaking to Kairi or himself. "So why are leaves rustling?"

There was a spark of curiousity in Sora's eyes. It wasn't the bright, inquizitive curiousity that Riku had fallen in love with, but more dull, plain way of wanting to know more.

It felt as if Sora was looking straight at Riku. All of a sudden, Riku felt his face was wet. But what? Riku never cried! He was more the 'die on the inside' kinda guy. This was bad. Riku hated the feeling of his eyes leaking. They felt warm and puffy and uncomfortable. Without thinking, the emotional silverette jumped out of the tree, and landed with a thump on the ground.

Riku felt his ankle spasm, and then the pain kicked in. It wasn't that bad, just one large surge of pain, and then a dull thud. But Riku scraped himself off the ground and stumbled up the street.

The teen looked up and saw his reflection in the large window of a neighboring house. He was splattered with dirt, and red was running down his arms. Oh, thought Riku plainly. I cut my shoulder open.

He could see the wound, it was large and gaping open. There was a large stick - or was it a small branch? - peeking out of the hole, but Riku couldn't feel a thing. His hair was all mussed, and there was two clear lines on Riku's cheeks - the trails of tears that were flowing speedily down Riku's face.

He looked sort of...

Messed up.