I don't know what it is about me having Jane watch this show. I guess it's the cast? :shrug:
Jane's eyebrows went up as she watched her friend's expression. "Yeah," she took a sip of beer as she tried to hide the look of amusement threatening to burst across her face. With a smirk, she commented as nonchalantly as she could manage, "Ziva's pretty hot in this episode, huh?"
And just like that, Maura was back in the real world. Her head swiveled, her eyes zeroed in on Jane, and not even Ziva David could compete as she sat there with her jaw dropped for a good ten or fifteen seconds as the surprise on the show broke and the intro played. At last she took a deep breath to collect herself and realized aloud, "You noticed."
The brunette shrugged as she continued to smile behind her beer glass. "What kind of detective would I be if I didn't notice when my best friend thinks another woman is hot?" Jane chuckled again. "Pretty freaking poor one, is what." She set the empty glass on the coffee table and returned to her slouched position on the couch. "What? It's not like I pointed out you had a run in your hose or something." She kept her face toward the television screen, but her eyes darted to the side to see the doctor's expression. "It's no big deal, Maur." She shrugged and took another sip of beer.
Maura's hand waved away her own revelation, which in truth she hadn't even seen as a revelation. She'd assumed Jane knew that all along. "No, not me. I pointed out her singing voice. You're the one who noticed that Ziva was hot. I was beginning to wonder if you were blind. Or immune. Or straight. Or that she wasn't your type, although I honestly couldn't tell why she wouldn't be, given that she's just like you. Competent, strong, badass with or without a weapon, and what was it that bartender said? Yes… Almost an excess of dominant energy. You and Agent David are like two peas in a pod. Though, come to think of it, maybe you're a bit too similar. While similarities do tend to keep a couple together, initial attraction is often accomplished through dissimilarities."
"Whoa, hold on a minute." Jane sat up and turned toward the blonde. "What do you mean, 'If I was straight'? Of course I'm straight. Have you missed all the guys I've dated? What about that whole conversation we had? You know... 'what kind of women would we like if we liked women'... remember? When did you suddenly decide I was... that way?"
So that's what Jane chose to focus on? Interesting, she thought but did not say as she arched one brow pointedly, like a feline stretching awake. There was a challenge in the striking level of intensity that rushed into that hazel gaze, and then... she smiled. "My mistake," she said smoothly with a smile of offhanded apology. "Pass me another piece of pizza?"
"Damn it, Maura!" Jane stood up and walked into the kitchen. She threw open a cabinet door and pulled out a bottle with a dark liquid in it. With a quick and angry twist, the lid popped off and Jane took a long swig before putting the cap back. The bottle landed on the counter top with a dull but loud thud. Jane rested both hands on the counter, leaning forward so her face was hidden from the doctor's view. "God damn it, Maura," she muttered mostly to herself.
Maura tilted her head to one side. As the NCIS episode played out on the television, all but ignored, she stood up and left both pizza and beer alone. She wiped her hands on a napkin and then walked over to Jane, offering a calming hand on the shoulder without realizing that it could be taken in a different way now that Jane had been made aware of the one detail she'd held back from the detective. "I'm sorry, Jane. I guess I now have another reason not to make assumptions. I'm very bad at them, aren't I? Now you're angry because you're a female detective and a grown-up tomboy, and people have been making assumptions about you all your life, and your best friend just made the same one with little or no foundation in reality. Am I close?"
The muscles in Jane's shoulders tensed. She kept her head down. "No." She sighed as the muscles under Maura's hand twitched. Jane neither moved away or toward the comforting hand. Instead, she simply remained, head down, leaning over the counter top. "No, you're not." Jane suddenly stood up. She pushed the heels of her palms against her eyes as she turned and walked a few steps away from the other woman. "Oh my god, why didn't I see this before?" She bemoaned as she let her hands drop. She slowly turned back toward the blonde. "I don't think I'm drunk enough for this conversation."
One hand reached out to gently pluck the liquor bottle from Jane's grasp. "On the contrary," Maura replied quietly, "I believe that something is feeling very important to you right now. I think if it's important to you, then it's important to me, and I want to listen to everything you want to say. But because it's important, whatever it is, I think you need to be as sober as possible. Let's go finish the episode of NCIS and the pizza, and get the alcohol you've already had out of your system - an hour should do it - and then we'll have the conversation. Okay?"
Jane eyed the bottle in Maura's hand. "I'd rather just get drunk. That normally works better." With a deceptive move to the left, Jane leaned to the right and made a grab for the bottle.
"No." Maura's voice was gentle, soft, but firm and final. "As sweet as you are to call me normal, we both know that I'm not, so whatever normally works isn't going to work with me. On top of that, I want you to be able to say only what you want to say, so that later I don't have to wonder if I took advantage of your drunken state to manipulate you at all. And you won't be wondering, either. I want you fully in charge of your words and actions. As important as this is, whatever's on your mind, it's just as important to me that you be focused and aware of yourself." No exit, no excuses later, no Oh, I was soooo druuuuunk.
With a huff, Jane crossed her arms and walked over to the sofa. She fell into the seat with a grunt and watched the other woman walk around the room to take her seat on the other end of the sofa. "I guess saying we should just forget everything before I had my second bite of pizza is out, huh?" The brunette was slightly pouty as she reached for another piece of pizza. "At least the pizza's not cold."
They'd missed a little of the show, but surprisingly not much, by the time they were seated again. Maura gently replied, "I don't think I'll be forgetting, and I don't think you'll be forgetting, but if you really want, we can agree not to discuss anything at all about... whatever is bothering you. I won't ask, allude, or press. Ever. It's entirely up to you." She did, however, get back up after just a few seconds to put the beer back in the refrigerator and replace their glasses with glasses of fruit juice instead. Just in case.
"Don't think we could keep that kind of thing up very long without something happening," Jane said between mouthfuls of pizza. "Besides, it was probably only a matter of time before... stuff." She made a face at the fruit juice. "That is not as good as beer is with pizza." She gave an accusatory glare at the offending beverage. "Don't say it. I'm only drinking this stuff because I know you're right, and don't tell people I said that." She took a sip and set the glass back down on the table. "I have a reputation to uphold."
Maura's silence implied tacit consent.