AN: I'm going to keep this brief, since I just want to post this chapter and be done with it. It's a monster. Nearly 10k words, and I have to thank lisa89, laraisawkward, and lreganb for looking at it and telling me that it'll all be okay.
Also, a huge ass thank you to everyone who voted in the first round of the FML contest – my one shot made the top ten, which means I'll be entering the second round. I will keep you posted, but seriously, thank you.
This chapter is dedicated to the Call Girls who play on the thread—you all know who you are. Campward and I had a long sit down and finally wrote this together. He wanted to thank you individually for being so nice to him on the thread and hopes you continue to do so.
Okay, my children. Please remember that I love you.
~Bella~
"Great job, you two," Maria called out, turning off the overhead lights in the theater. "I'll see you tomorrow night for our next rehearsal."
"Thanks, Maria." My voice sounded foreign to my own ears—maybe because I was currently having an out-of-body experience. Somewhere along the ride home from Quebec, I must have fallen asleep or died or something because there was no way that in my own reality, Edward Cullen had kissed me. Like, really kissed me.
As soon as I'd thought the words, though, I found myself pressed against the side of the theater bleachers with Edward's plush lips against mine. The sharp edges of the sides pressed into my spine, but any pain I was experiencing dulled with the first languid stroke of Edward's tongue.
Please, please, PLEASE let this not be a dream.
I let my body press against his, the thrum of my erratic heartbeat pounding between us. My lips moved against his with ease, filling me with a sense of elation I hadn't even known existed.
Edward finally pulled away, a large grin plastered on his face. He looked like a little boy who'd just gotten away with something really naughty. And if that something was me, I was not going to complain. His eyes looked amused as they stared me down.
"What?" I asked, wondering why he was looking at me so intently.
His grin grew wider as he leaned towards me. "I can't believe I get to kiss you whenever I want," he whispered, placing his hands on both my cheeks and pressing a sweet kiss on my mouth. My face heated under his hands, the rest of my body heating up shortly after.
"Whenever?" I smiled and let my arms wrap around his waist. Although on the inside I was screaming like a little fan girl, I was trying like crazy to keep my cool.
He looked serious for a second before nodding. "Well, you heard Maria. We have to practice…and you know what they say about practicing."
I widened my eyes and looked up at him. God, I loved how tall he was. "What's that?"
Edward's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out how he was going to complete the sentence before giving up and pulling me into his chest again. I relished every second his lips were on mine. I was still pretty convinced I was going to wake up any second.
"How many hours a day do you think we should practice?" I asked, biting my lip.
"Not sure," he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "At least two, don't you think?"
"Mmhmm," I said sleepily, letting him lead me toward the girls' bunks. "At least."
We walked in silence, with Edward pressing soft kisses into my hair every so often. I was glad he was leading us because if I had been left to my own devices, I wasn't sure where I'd have ended up. As it was, I could barely think straight.
When we got to the head of campus, I saw that none other than Emily was in charge of night duty, making sure all the campers stayed in their bunks and that the female counselors got checked in. Normally, her presence would have bugged the crap out of me, but tonight, I was completely untouchable.
Tonight, I had been kissed by Edward Cullen.
"Hey, Bella," she chirped, sitting cross-legged in her large collapsible chair with a clipboard across her lap. "Edward." She nodded towards him, looking as if she were suppressing laughter or a smile or amusement of some kind, though I couldn't imagine how this situation was funny for her.
Beside me, Edward cleared his throat and smiled back. "Emily. How are you doing this fine evening?" he said, sounding oddly formal.
"Not as good as you two, clearly," she giggled, tucking a loose hair behind her ear before gripping her pen and checking my name off her long list. I hated when people talked to me without looking at me, so I tensed slightly and gave her my most solid response.
"Nope, probably not."
At my words, both her and Edward's eyes slid towards me, looking equally amused.
"Well," Emily continued, now looking straight at me, "you're the last one in tonight, so you should get to your bunk. Your campers have missed you, I'm sure."
All I wanted to do was tilt my head upwards and kiss Edward, but I had no idea if I could be that forward yet. Instead, I turned towards him to kiss his cheek and was shocked to feel his lips against mine. It wasn't a little kiss either. No, this was a toe-urling, moan-inducing fuckawesome kiss. My hands moved to his hair, pulling him closer and reveling in every second Emily had to watch him with his tongue in my mouth. It was like the best giant "Fuck you, so there, ha!" I could imagine.
He pulled back slowly, kissing my lips chastely one more time before whispering, "Whenever, remember?"
I nodded and smiled at his soft, "Goodnight, Bella."
I was in such a daze on my way back to my bunk that I didn't even mind Edward hanging out with Emily at the head of campus. I told myself that he was most likely watching me walk back to my bunk and decided to put an extra swagger into my step. Fuck, if this was a dream, I wanted to take advantage of every single second.
Instead of wandering back to my bunk, though, I found myself two bunks down. I opened the door quietly and plopped onto the bed, shaking the sleeping body in front of me as gently as possible.
Her blue eyes opened, startled, and I pressed my hand against her mouth before the loud gasp and/or shriek could be released. I felt her tongue lick my palm and groaned before wiping it off on the blanket and letting her speak freely.
"Bella? What the hell?"
An unstoppable smile spread across my face, and I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body as I recalled in perfect memory the kiss that had without a doubt changed my life.
"Oh my God!" Rosalie's eyes widened as she sat straight up in bed, pulling me into a sitting position to face her. "He kissed you!" she whisper-yelled. "Tell me everything! Oh my God. Was it in Quebec? Was it super romantic? Why didn't you call me? I mean, I know you're still peeved at me, but I expected a phone call for something this major…or at least a text!"
"Rose, calm down." I attempted to shush her, but I was too hyped up myself to have much of an effect.
"Spill," she deadpanned. "Now."
"I don't even know what happened, Rose. One second we were walking to rehearsal and then the next, he had me against the side of the shack. I…I…" I sighed, unable to put into words what the hell was going through my mind.
What was going through my mind? Honestly, I had no clue. What did this mean? He'd kissed me…multiple times. But we hadn't talked about anything between us. I knew we needed to because I'd continue to overanalyze everything, but I was now confident that this was real life and not a dream, which meant that I needed to squeal loudly in the very near future.
"What did he say?"
I giggled and leaned back down to rest my head on her pillow. "That he couldn't believe he could kiss me whenever he wanted."
Rose rolled her eyes and flopped back down next to me, pulling the blankets over both of us. "He is like the least suave guy in the entire world. But I'm glad he finally stopped being a jackass. For your sake."
I had no idea what Rose was talking about, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Thanks."
"Okay, B, I've missed you way too much, but it's late and we've got to be up early. Don't think I don't want to hear more tomorrow, though, okay?"
I nodded and headed back to my bunk quickly, falling into bed and asleep within record time.
* * *
The next morning I was woken up not by morning reveille but by three warm bodies pinning me to my mattress. I tried to roll onto my side, but I was trapped.
"What the…" My eyes opened slowly and snapped shut at the resounding squeal that echoed through the bunk.
"She's awake!"
Suddenly, another three bodies plopped down onto the bed, giggling and chattering loudly.
"Morning, girls."
"Bella, we missed you!" Andie said, snuggling closer to my side. I wrapped my arm around her and smiled. I hadn't realized how attached I'd grown to my campers over the past month and a half. And I was surprised to realize that even with everything that had happened over the past two days, I had really missed them, too.
"Missed you, too." A large yawn interrupted my sentiment, causing them to burst into another fit of giggles. "But was it really necessary to wake me up before reveille?"
The girls hopped off the bed, finally allowing me to prop myself up on my elbows and look around. My mouth dropped. I was shocked at the state of the room in front of me. The cabin was a disaster zone. Clothes were strewn all over the wooden floor and hanging from closet doors, towels and bedding lay in a huge heap next to the door, and there were brooms and dustpans scattered throughout. I was about to reprimand them for letting their living quarters get this bad when the bell for breakfast rang.
I shot out of bed, stressed at running late, while the girls simply looked on, amused.
"Um, yeah, you slept through reveille," Rachel explained as I rummaged through my closet for a clean uniform. I quickly threw on a pair of navy shorts and a white t-shirt, ready to head out the door. But as I was turning, a flash of red caught my eye, and I couldn't help but throw on the hoodie, too, which was now saturated with Edward's delicious scent.
"Come on, Bella!" Vicky whined, dragging me past her array of Jonas Brothers posters with a hard tug on my hand. As she pulled, my feet got stuck on some of the clothes covering the floor, causing me to stumble slightly.
"What's with the pig sty, girls? I leave you for two days and come back to this?" I leaned down to untangle my feet from whatever had tried to trap them and flung the offending piece of fabric at Vicky, who was still pulling at my arm.
The girls all simultaneously sighed and rolled their eyes, putting a huge grin on my face. "It's Super Duper Clean Up this afternoon, Bella."
My mind reeled. Super Duper Clean Up? This afternoon? That meant that tomorrow was…
"Tomorrow is Parents' Visiting Day?"
"Duh," Jen quipped, tossing her blonde ringlets over her shoulder. "I'm so excited. My mom said she's bringing me a huge batch of homemade cookies. They're delicious."
The other girls jumped in, gossiping about all the contraband their parents were giving them tomorrow, but I stopped listening as soon as we passed the threshold of the dining room and my eyes found his.
My feet crossed the room without conscious thought, leaving my gossiping girls behind, my mind filling itself with images of his lips on mine.
"LB!" Alice sprang out of nowhere, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly and stopping me before I could barrel through the table and probably onto Edward's lap. "I've missed you way too much. But how was Quebec? I need to hear everything like right now. Your texts weren't nearly enough to keep me satiated. Also, thanks for texting me, you ass. I had to get all my information through Jasper." Finally, she pulled away, pouting.
"Quebec was great." My eyes slid to Edward's without provocation, and my stomach clenched at the burning look in his narrowed eyes. Why did he always have to look so fucking good? All I could think about was pushing him into the closest locked room and pulling off his pants.
Whoa there, Bella. Calm yourself. Are you sure you're ready for that?
As I looked back at Edward's smirking face, I was shocked to realize that the answer to that question was a resounding yes. Shit. I'd been waiting six years for Edward Cullen to look at me like this, and I wasn't going to waste any more time fucking around.
Suddenly, I felt a huge pain in my shoulder, pulling my eyes back to the annoying thing in front of me. "Ow! What the hell, Alice?"
Her eyes narrowed, and she leaned in to whisper in my ear, "If you lost your virginity and didn't text me immediately after, I swear to God, LB…"
"What?" I pulled away from her quickly, needing to see her curious blue eyes. Did it really look like—I mean, was it really that obvious that something had happened? "N-no!"
Without another word, she slid onto the bench, grinning widely at Edward. He, in turn, looked at me, completely confused, with one eyebrow cocked in question. I automatically flushed, knowing all the dirty, dirty things I wanted to do with him at our soonest possible convenience. Seeing the glint in his eye and the smile appear across his face, I hoped his thoughts weren't far from mine.
Breakfast went by in a blur of delicious French toast and sneaking glances at Edward over and over again. About halfway through, I realized that Jake was staring at me, his dark eyes boring holes into my skull from across the table.
"What?" I mouthed at him. His glare towards Edward and then back towards me told me all I needed to know. My skin flushed under his unwavering attention, and I had never been more grateful for my forceful best friend than when she pulled me out of my seat and away from the table the second breakfast was finished.
The dance studio door slammed behind us, causing Jasper to jump up from his spot where he'd been leaning against the stereo. He looked incredibly confused as he stammered, "Uh…Alice…I know that you really love Bella, but when you said to meet you here after breakfast, I kind of assumed that you wanted to…" A soft pink tinged his ears and cheeks as he brushed a stray hair behind his ear and pulled at the hem of his shirt awkwardly.
Alice's eyes softened momentarily as they focused on the embarrassed-looking Jasper. She flitted over to him, grabbing his hand and pulling his mouth towards hers to place a soft kiss there. "I know, and, trust me, I wasn't planning on including LB in our time here." Her eyes narrowed and trained in on me again as she turned within Jasper's grasp. "That was before I absolutely without a doubt knew that something happened with Edward. So, LB, don't think you're allowed to hold back on me for one second. Sit. Now."
I loved when Alice got forceful, but I'd never been on the receiving end of it before, and it was kind of fucking scary.
A lazy smile spread across Jasper's face as he motioned for me to come sit with them against the mirrors, as we had that first week of pre-camp. "I knew it." He laughed as I blushed.
"Knew what?"
"No way, hun. You don't get to play coy." Alice pointed a tiny finger against my arm, poking me obnoxiously.
"Fine," I breathed out, ready to explode. I mean, I wanted to tell her, anyway. God, would Edward be okay with this? Were we telling people? I didn't even know what to tell. I decided to just come out and say it. "Last night, Edward kissed me." Alice's eyes grew wide, and I could practically see a squeal building in her chest as she squirmed in her seat.
"Was it the best kiss ever?" Jasper asked in a valley-girl voice.
I pushed at his chest, annoyed that he was making fun of me. I knew he wanted the gossip just as much as Alice…if not more. "Yes. It was."
"Details, LB. Come on!"
"I don't ask you two details about your kissing!" I huffed. Jasper blushed again, but Alice saw through me and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, that's because you don't want to know. And I want to know everything." She stretched out the last word and wiggled her eyebrows.
"So you want to know how he had me pushed up against the side of the shack with one of his hands in my hair, tugging, and the other pushing up my hoodie to press against my skin? Or that he kissed me again after rehearsal and then kissed me again in front of Emily so hard that I can still feel his tongue pressing against mi—"
Jasper groaned and held up a hand. "Okay, that's more than enough, right, Alice?"
Alice nodded excitedly and finally let out the squeal I knew she'd been holding in as she tackled me to the floor in a huge hug. "I am so excited for you! So what now? Are you guys, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"Um, we didn't really do much talking…" I trailed off, my face heating up for the bajillionth time that morning.
"Of course you didn't." Jasper chuckled and shook his head, but I could see genuine happiness shining from his eyes. "You know, he doesn't have any classes today. If you wanted to go back to our room, I'm sure he'd be up for more—" Jasper paused and smiled widely "—talking."
Alice grinned evilly and pushed my arm before looking back at Jasper. "Yes, and then we can do our own talking."
"Gah! Gag me," I blurted out, standing up quickly. "Wait 'til I'm gone to start that shit."
As I was turning away, Alice smacked my ass with her open hand and giggled. "Go get some!"
I walked quickly to Bunk Seven, awkwardly tugging at my hair to attempt to smooth it out. I hadn't really fancied myself up before leaving this morning, and as the bunk came into view, my nerves appeared in mass force. I knocked on the door lightly, and I heard Edward's, "Yeah!" from behind his bedroom door. I walked through the common room, poised to knock on his own door when it swung open.
"Hey," I whispered, flicking my eyes down to avoid having to see what his facial expression was. Was he happy to see me? Confused? Excited? Annoyed? I didn't want to seem clingy, but God, I never wanted to let him out of arm's reach now that I knew I was allowed to touch him.
"Bella!" He sounded startled, making my nerves increase again. I had to look up. My eyes finally found his, and I was surprised to see that they looked concerned. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," I replied, confused. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"You just looked…" He trailed off, his eyes flicking to my mouth briefly before returning to my eyes.
I took a large gulp and let my hands travel up his chest to around his neck. His body tensed, making me freeze and second-guess myself, but just as I was about to remove my arms, he wrapped his own around my waist, pulling me flush against him.
"Hey," he said back, finally putting me at ease with a crooked smile. The mid-morning sun filtered through the window behind him, making the tips of his messy hair appear strawberry blonde, and I couldn't resist letting my fingers play with it. He groaned and let his head fall forward.
Hmm, so Edward has a hair trigger. Good to know.
Before I could even process what was happening, I felt his lips press against my cloth-covered shoulder. From this angle, I could let my fingers travel over more of his scalp, scratching lightly with my dull fingernails. As I continued, Edward's kisses moved from my shoulder up to my bare neck, making me start to ache and throb in all the right places. My hands clutched his head closer to my neck, and I could feel myself getting wetter as he opened his hot mouth against the skin there.
My heart pounded faster as he moved his head and crashed his lips to mine, knocking my head back into the side of the doorframe. It probably would have hurt if I hadn't been focused solely on the feeling of Edward's tongue in my mouth and his hands starting to push the hem of my t-shirt up.
"Jesus motherfucking Christ, my eyes, LB!" I heard Emmett shout as Edward pulled away from me, taking a large guilty step backwards.
In the common room was Emmett, who had his hand slapped over his eyes, the rest of his face scrunched up in disgust. He was accompanied by Rosalie, who was smirking with her hands on her hips.
"Don't you guys ever have to teach classes?" Emmett bellowed. An unstoppable fit of giggles overtook me as he peeked through his fingers to check if the coast was clear. Seeing that Edward was an acceptable two feet away from me, Emmett pulled his hand down to his side, looking us up and down thoroughly. "I never want to hear anything," he growled at Edward before stomping like a small child into his room. Rosalie stood there, her mouth still agape until Emmett called out to her, whining, "Rose! I need you!"
She smiled widely, hands still on her hips as she mockingly glared at Edward. "Don't you dare fuck this up, sweetheart. 'Cause you know I'll kill you in your sleep," she warned him, keeping her tone as light as possible.
Edward laughed uncomfortably, watching with wide eyes as Rosalie walked into Emmett's room, closing the door behind her. Ugh.
"Sorry," he said, ushering me into his room. I looked around, wondering where the best place to sit was before plopping myself onto Jasper's bed. The door closed with an ominous click, and I could feel my heart rate increasing again. "What are you—" He looked at my place in the room, cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy.
"I think we'll get more talking done if I'm over here," I admitted quietly.
"Okay," he said nervously, sitting down on his own bed to face me with worried eyes. "What did you want to talk about?" I took a deep breath, ready to bear my heart to him, when Edward started rambling nervously. "I know this is really bizarre, and I don't want you to think that I'm taking advantage of you because I heard what you said to Emmett about you not having, um, been with anyone, and I'm not that person, the one who knows how to do this and so…"
"Edward?" I asked as he trailed off, catching his attention. My heart felt like a fucking hummingbird was trying to escape or explode, but I needed to get everything on my mind out, otherwise it'd be driving me crazy. "I don't particularly care that you don't know what you're doing. But I need to know what we're doing, so I can keep my sanity."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, forcing me to continue, despite the fact that he was the boy and should have fucking figured out all of this. "Are we…" I paused to gather my thoughts. I didn't have nearly enough balls to ask him if he was my boyfriend. I mean, how stupid would that sound after a few kisses? Pretty lametastic. Instead, I asked him more formally. "Is this just physical?"
His face dropped and he stood up quickly, dropping down beside me on Jasper's bed. "No," he said resolutely. "No, it's definitely not. Trust me, I had to stop myself from touching you so many fucking times. But, I really…" He looked up at the ceiling before returning his piercing eyes to mine. "I really like you, Bella. And I fought against it for a fucking long time because, well, I thought it was wrong."
"You thought it was wrong?" I asked. His words weren't doing much to calm me down.
Seeing my panic, he put his arms on both my shoulders, facing me head on. "I did, but now I know that it's not wrong. It's really fucking right. I just…I needed to get over myself."
"What?"
"I didn't want to be the one responsible for defiling you," he said with a low chuckle.
My mind went blank. I knew he had meant it as somewhat of a joke, but suddenly I couldn't see straight. Edward had thought about defiling me? Fuck and yes. "Uh…" I couldn't even put a coherent sentence together, and, like always, Edward misunderstood.
"Seriously, Bella, we can go as slow as you want. I meant it when I said that. I'm not expecting you to rush into anything."
And instead of fixing his misconception verbally, as I should have done, I kissed him, hoping my actions were loud enough to drown out whatever sexual road blocks he'd put between us. With my hands still wrapped around his neck, I moved to place my knees on either side of his lap, straddling him more efficiently.
"Fuck," he muttered against my lips before grabbing my ass and standing up, taking me with him. He walked the few short steps to his own bed before laying me down on it, never removing his lips from mine. I could feel myself heating up and starting to inadvertently roll my hips up to meet his. He froze, bolted off the bed quickly and looked around the room, leaving me wanton and panting. "Uhh…we should watch a movie, if you're going to stay."
"We can watch The Iron Giant, since you said I had to watch it," I suggested. He quirked his eyebrow at me before shaking his head.
"That's the kind of movie that I want you to really pay attention to."
"And I won't be paying attention to the movie?"
He groaned, chuckling to himself and running his fingers through his hair. "Okay, fine," he sighed before putting the movie in.
The television flickered on ,and Edward climbed onto the bed beside me, tucking me into his chest with one arm tracing faint circles on my lower back, which quickly progressed to another make-out session. It was as if neither of us could stop touching, the most innocent of touches increasing my arousal. Two hours later, I was a needy, sopping mess, ready to combust. I knew I needed to get out of there and start helping with Super Duper Clean Up, anyway.
Edward acquiesced and walked me to the door, even, to kiss me a proper goodbye. I waved goodbye and promised to come back that night after taps…because he wanted me there. As everything was happening, I literally couldn't believe it. This was too good to be true. Had I accidentally stumbled into an alternative universe where Edward actually wanted me?
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't see anyone in front of me until I crashed into them.
"Whoa, Bella." Seth's low voice rumbled in his chest as he caught me, preventing me from crashing to the ground. He helped me regain my balance and looked me over, quirking his eyebrow as he stared me down.
"What?" I asked as Seth searched my face. For a second, I panicked, wondering if there was maybe evidence of the last two hours on my skin. I hadn't looked in the mirror before I'd headed out, and it was entirely possible that Edward had marked me without my knowledge. Instinctively, my hand moved to cup my neck. I hoped that I would somehow be able to feel if there was something there.
Seth's expression changed to one of sadness before it morphed into amusement. I didn't know what caused the abrupt change, but he suddenly started laughing and walked me into the shack.
He pulled out a chair for me and dragged the bench out to face me. He shook his head slightly before chuckling. "He didn't leave a mark, Bells." My eyes widened with surprise, but Seth continued on. "I'm guessing this is what you wanted to talk about when you were in Quebec."
I sighed and leaned my head against my hands. "Yes."
"I kind of figured after last night."
Had I always been this transparent? Seth had seen me for about ten minutes total and he could tell. And if it was that obvious, why the fuck hadn't Edward jumped onto it sooner? It was then that I remembered his mind block about defiling me. It sucked that I felt so ready to hand over my virginity to him when I knew that he was going to have a serious problem getting over it, hence, taking too much time. If I wasn't a virgin, it would just be easier.
"Bells?" I finally came to, hearing Seth call my name. He shook his head before making a face. "I don't think I want to know where you just went…"
I laughed. "I was just thinking about what Edward said earlier." I sighed, wishing I could somehow fix the issue.
He leaned forward. "About?" He dragged out the word, making me smile.
"About why he took so long to do something." I grumbled, annoyed with Edward's reasoning. Now that I was really thinking about it, it felt incredibly archaic and kind of sexist.
"Aanndd?" Seth whined, starting to sound like a child who won't stop asking, 'why?'
I rolled my eyes. "He just has this thing…" I trailed off, wondering how in God's name to word it without sounding completely ridiculous. "He didn't want to be responsible for deflowering me."
I had no idea why I was saying all these things to Seth.
I blame the hormonal adrenaline rush from two hours with Edward's tongue in and around my mouth.
I paused, mulling over how that sounded. Yup, just as ridiculous as I anticipated.
"Oh, I've got it! How about you do it?" I joked coyly. "That'll make things much, much easier. So, what do you say, Seth? Want to deflower this gentle petal?" I snorted at the absurdity of my suggestion, but when I looked up, Seth's face was completely blank, and he was staring at me in disbelief. "Seth?"
"Uh…" Seth shifted uncomfortably.
"It was a joke, Seth," I clarified. He shook his head before cracking a wide smile and slapping a hand on my shoulder.
"Of course it was, Bells. I knew that." He shrugged, causing us to fall into an awkward silence.
"Okay, well, I've gotta go help my bunk with clean up, but I'll see you later!"
Seeing the look on Seth's face at my bad joke, I realized that it wasn't only Edward; apparently all guys had an aversion to having sex with virgins. Sigh.
Instead of focusing on that, though, I spent the rest of the day helping my campers prepare for their parents' arrival and waiting for taps to ring so that I could run back to Bunk Seven.
But, of course, camper to the cock block. Just as I was gathering my cell phone and heading out, I heard a muffled cry amongst the loud, excited chattering of anxious girls. The lights had already been turned off, so I couldn't see who it was.
Sighing, I walked through the cabin, pausing when I came across the soft sobbing coming from under Andie's pillow.
I walked over quietly, trying not to alert the other campers that something was wrong before kneeling beside her pillow and placing a soft hand on her shaking shoulder. "Andie?" I whispered, concerned. Andie was always the best behaved of my campers and definitely the sweetest. It made my heart ache to hear her cry. "Andie, what's wrong, hun?"
A small sniffling face appeared from underneath her pillow, peeking out nervously.
"Don't worry," I whispered, pushing a wet strand of hair from her eyes, "no one else is listening if that's what you're worried about."
As I continued to stroke her hair, her lip trembled and tears poured silently from her eyes, rolling onto her sheets without a sound. "I m-miss h-home," she stuttered quietly.
"But you're going to see your family tomorrow," I cooed softly. "That's only hours from now."
She nodded, biting her lip, but the tears continued to come in long, steady streams.
Guess you'll have to rain check with Edward.
I quickly typed out a text telling Edward that I had a crying camper and that I'd see him the next morning. My stomach clenched at his answer, making me feel horrible and wonderful all at the same time.
You're a great counselor, you know that? Can't say I'm not disappointed though. –E
"Hey, Andie," I began with an over-exaggerated yawn, "I'm sleepy, so I'm going to get into bed, but do you want me to move your bed closer to mine so we can talk more?"
She nodded, her wide blue eyes shining with relief. I pulled her bed towards mine, leaving only a few inches in between, and hopped into bed, snuggling between the fleece blankets.
Her hands gripped at the blankets, obviously tense. "I'm scared that seeing my parents will make me miss them all over again. I…I don't want anyone else to know…it's st-stupid to be this old and h-homesick, right?"
"Not at all. I remember being homesick my last summer when I was sixteen. Sometimes you just miss it. I understand."
"You did?" she whispered, clearly not believing my words at all.
"Absolutely. But then I remembered that when I get home, all I want to do is come back to Long Lake. And that made me feel a lot better."
She nodded appreciatively, her tears finally slowing down. I looked down and noticed that somewhere over the course of her confession, she'd rested her hand in mine. I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Bella. I…I do that, too. I love it here." Andie sighed appreciatively and let her eyes close, keeping her hand around mine.
"Night, Andie."
* * *
I'd forgotten the mayhem that was visiting day. I wasn't sure why or how, but the invasion of parents at Long Lake was something I'd repressed. It was nearly impossible to make my way through the throng of excited campers reunited with their families. Every direction I looked in, there were more people.
And the worst thing about visiting day, I realized, was that I had to have a class every single period. I'd become accustomed to having multiple periods off during the day, but every parent wanted to see what their child had been creating, so Jasper and I were stuck in the Fine Arts room all fucking day long. I lost count of how many proud parents had thanked me for making their child's summer. Apparently Jasper and I were popular counselors, we'd just had no clue.
I'd thought I was going to have a small reprieve for lunch, but when I looked up to see a devilish-looking Alice and Rosalie with plates of food for us, I knew I wasn't going anywhere.
"So…" Rosalie began, pulling her wet hair up into a ponytail and glaring pointedly at me.
"So, what?" I replied innocently.
"Oh, please, Bella. The last time I saw you, Edward's junk was pinning you to a door." My face heated as I remembered the feel of Edward surrounding me, forcefully, finally taking initiative and kissing me senseless.
Jasper snorted, and he threw his free arm around Alice as he shoveled potato salad into his mouth. Alice leaned in closer, making me realize that I wasn't the only one who had shit to divulge. I didn't particularly want to hear the nitty-gritty details, like the ones they requested of me, but a simple thumbs up or thumbs down to some peen action wouldn't be out of the question.
"Bella, Bella, Bella," Jasper sang out mockingly. "You forget that I live with the fool. He seemed pretty, uhhh, frustrated after receiving a particular text message last night. You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?" Jasper winked, his eyes wandering to both Alice and Rosalie to see their reactions.
Of course, Rose acted up first. "Jasper, can you clarify…frustrated how?"
I rolled my eyes at the scene playing out in front of me. Jasper chuckled, and his eyes tilted downward, clearly avoiding contact with all of us. "I don't think it'd be appropriate to discuss that at the table."
Rosalie burst into inappropriately loud laughter, slamming her hand down onto the table. "Fucking hell, you two are hilarious. So, clearly there's been no penetration yet."
"Rose!" I admonished her. Why did we always have to talk about my sex life, or lack thereof?
"Definitely no penetration," Alice echoed solemnly.
I groaned and leaned my head against the table. "No. Not yet. But for fuck's sake, can we leave it alone? I'll tell you when there's something to tell." I looked up into their waiting faces, and although Rosalie looked annoyed, Alice and Jasper nodded in acceptance. Thank God.
We ate the rest of our meal in relative silence, and I was grateful when the chimes for afternoon classes rang, despite the fact that I'd have to endure another five hours of dealing with overzealous parents.
When the bell sounded for our last class, I nearly squeed with glee. I realized that it had been over a day since I'd last seen Edward, and all I could think about was being in his arms again…or maybe a little bit more than that, but whatever.
Lost in fantasies of ways for me to seduce Edward, I didn't hear the mother approaching until she was directly in front of me. She was a beautiful brunette with long hair that hung straight down her back, bouncing with her steps towards me. Who in God's name had a model for a parent? I looked around, only to see that Maggie, the camper I'd thoroughly enjoyed teaching, had her eyes on us.
"Hi, Bella," the model said warmly, sticking out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Maggie's mom, Angela."
"Nice to meet you, Angela," I replied politely, trying not look as intimidated by this woman as I felt.
"I just wanted to thank you."
"Thank me?" I asked.
"Yes." She smiled and moved closer, leaning in so that she could speak without shouting. "Maggie writes nothing else in her letter but how much fun she has with you and what an amazing artist you are. It's been about five weeks of Bella-idoling in her letters, and I just wanted to thank you. She can be incredibly reserved, but I can already tell that she's becoming more open and making more friends, and I think it's because you make her feel more comfortable. So, yes. Thank you."
As I listened to her eloquent speech, I was blown away. I hadn't realized the potential impact of my influence on my campers, but then I remembered the way I'd idolized my own counselors during my time at Long Lake; it made me feel on top of the world.
"You're welcome." I smiled. "Maggie's great. She's incredibly talented, too. Have you seen her work?"
Angela grinned like the proud mother she obviously was and nodded. "It's great, isn't it? But I saw your work, too." I blushed, forgetting that Jasper had made us put out some of our own projects for the parents to look at. "You're fantastic. Are you studying art?"
"No, film."
Her brown eyes lit up, sparkling with interest. "Wow, film? Where are you studying?"
"Well, I haven't actually started yet," I admitted. "But I will be going to the University of Southern California."
Angela gasped and held up a peace sign. "A fellow Trojan? I'm a USC alum! Fight on!" I smiled at the coincidence and the warmth of this woman who I'd thought was so intimidating merely minutes before. "So, are you from Los Angeles?"
I shook my head. "No, Washington originally, but I'm so excited to move down there…despite the fact that I won't know anyone."
"Well, now you do. We live in Brentwood, but we have season tickets at the Coliseum, so we'll definitely be around. Also—" Angela held up a finger before reaching into her purse and handing me a card "—my husband, who is also an 'SC alum, works at Plan B Entertainment, which is Brad Pitt's production company, in case you're not hip with the industry lingo yet."
My mouth dropped open slightly as I held the card between my fingers, admiring the fancy monogram. Was this really happening? Holy fucking shit.
Angela grabbed the card out of my hand and flipped it over, writing another number on the back before handing it over again.
"That's his cell, and I'm sure if you have any free time, he'd love to have you as an intern over there." She sighed loudly and leaned even closer. Good God, does this woman have no personal-space bubble? "They're actually in the middle of production on a new movie, which is why he couldn't make it out here today. I know she understands," she sighed, looking over her shoulder at Maggie, who was drawing with a bunch of her friends, "but sometimes I wish that she didn't have to. Are you sure you want to go into film?"
My answer was automatic. "There's nothing else that I'd even remotely consider doing."
A wide smile broke out across her face. "Well, in that case, please don't lose that card, and call him the second you get out there. He's always looking for motivated and talented interns to get started in the industry."
"Th-thank you!" I stammered, so full of adrenaline that my words weren't even forming properly.
"You're very welcome," she said, wrapping her arms around me in a large embrace. "And I mean it, Bella. Don't be shy."
The chimes rang, signaling the end of the period—and thank Jesus, the end of the day— and Angela and Maggie departed with a small wave, leaving me completely dumbfounded.
I spun around on my heel, staring incredulously around the room until my eyes locked with Jasper's.
"What?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. Without giving him any warning, I ran and leaped into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. "Uh, Bella…you're kind of choking me."
I slid to the ground and held up the card for him to see. I contained my squealing, but just barely, as his eyes widened and he brought me into another large hug. "Wow. Bella, this is amazing." He pulled away to look into my eyes. "Do you know what kind of contact this is? This is huge…no, bigger than huge." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "What's bigger than huge?"
"Ginormous? Gargantuan? Massive? Vast? Colossal?" I rambled. The excitement rushed through my body, making me act like a complete spaz.
"Thank you, Merriam Webster. Yes. All of those." He grinned and slung an arm around my shoulders. "You should be very proud of yourself, B-Town. I'd be screaming that from the rooftops if I were you."
I gulped, overwhelmed by the mass onslaught of my enthusiasm. Jasper was right. I wanted to scream this news from the rooftops, but the only person I really wanted to tell right now was Edward. And I absolutely needed to find him.
"You can go find him," Jasper chuckled.
"How…?" I turned to look up at him, wondering how the fuck he could read my mind. I knew that Jasper and I had somewhat developed into siblings, but suddenly it felt like we were twins.
"Bella," he said, exasperated. Oh, right. I'd forgotten that I was this transparent to everyone.
"But where do I even begin looking for him? He could be anywhere. Parents' visiting day is like…his busiest day," I whined. Which was true. Edward recounted every second of parents' visiting day, never turning his camera off, barely resting to eat lunch or dinner.
Jasper shrugged and rolled his eyes. "You could try the front porch, since that's where all the crying children are saying goodbye to their parents," he suggested. "Or the shack?"
"Fuck it. I'm just going to wander until I find him."
"Sounds like a plan," Jasper snickered. "Best of luck, B, and congrats again!" he shouted out as I made my way up to the front porch.
Unfortunately, everyone and their mom (literally) was on the front porch except for Edward.
"LB!" Emmett shouted, lifting me up and spinning me through the air. "How was your first parents' visiting day? Did you live through it?"
"I more than lived through it," I snickered.
"Oh God, if this has anything to do with Edward, please spare me the description." Emmett feigned gagging and bent over, pretending to puke all over me. Such a sweetheart, that one is.
I punched his arm, but of course, he barely felt it. "It's not. For your information, I just made a contact out in LA with a production executive." I couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across my face as I held up the card and danced around a little bit.
"Whoa! Way to be a baller before you even get to school, LB!" Suddenly Rosalie strolled up and jumped onto his back. Emmett was barely fazed, only stumbling forward slightly before regaining balance and grinning at me again. "So, you're looking for Edward, I take it?"
"Well, yeah." I blushed again. "After all, he's the one who got me into film in the first place." My blush increased at Emmett's pointed stare, so I decided to change the topic completely. I'd look for Edward as soon as Emmett was thoroughly distracted. "So, where are you two off to?"
At this, Rosalie blushed. I didn't think I'd ever seen something faze her before, and my stomach immediately jumped at the realization of what the hell they were going to do tonight.
"We're just going to go back to the bunk to—"
I held up my hand. "If you finish that sentence, I swear to God, Emmett, I will vom all over your feet."
"What?" he said dumbly. "I was going to say 'watch a movie.' Jeez, LB, get your head out of the gutter."
"I think it's there permanently," I quipped as they headed off toward Bunk Seven. "Also, if you see Edward, can you tell him I'm looking for him?"
"Sure thing, LB. Enjoy your night. I know I will be," Emmett called out as Rosalie buried her head into his shoulder. Gross.
Pouting, I spun around, hoping that Edward would just miraculously appear in front of me. He didn't. However, Seth did. I approached him quickly, linking my arm through his from behind, which startled him.
"Hey, where are you off to?"
"Uhh, just back to my bunk," he answered stiffly. It was unusual. Seth had never been anything but super sweet to me, but somehow, it felt like he was being cold, and it upset me more than I liked.
"So, video is done for the day?"
"Yeah, we just locked up the shack."
My ears perked up. "We?"
Seth laughed quietly before sighing. "Yeah, we. I'm sure he's already back at his bunk. He seemed anxious to just get out of there. Not that I can blame him. Today kind of sucked."
I leaned into him, knowing full well how much it sucked for him. Edward complained about it every year. I would be willing to bet that he'd need to blow off some serious steam tonight. My stomach clenched with anticipation, imagining telling Edward my news and then possibly really celebrating.
Positive thinking, right?
"Okay, well, I'm kind of exhausted." As he said it, a large yawn passed through his lips, validating his statement. "But I'm sure I'll see you later." He smiled then, giving me the warm smile I'd learned to depend on over the past few weeks. It was that smile that propelled me towards the counselor lounge, which was fairly deserted, actually. I guessed that everyone was thoroughly worn out from playing nice for almost twelve hours with the parents.
Apparently, Edward was in his bunk.
I took off running, heading down the hill to Bunk Seven at record speed, needing to not only share my news but to feel his arms around me. Now that I knew what that could be like, I couldn't imagine it any other way.
I stepped through the bunk door and into the common room. Both doors were closed, but I nearly ran to Edward's door, not wanting to hear any of the noises that were likely to be coming from behind Emmett's. I took a deep breath and prepared myself to knock on his door, bursting with excitement and anticipation.
Just as I raised my hand, I heard a familiar voice from behind the door, and it wasn't the velvet one I'd been waiting for. No, this voice was high-pitched and annoying as fuck.
Emily.
I heard her groan and giggle, causing bile to rise to the back of my throat. No…he wouldn't…he couldn't…he…
"Shit, baby," she moaned loudly, "fuck me harder."
I gasped and stepped away from the door as if I'd been electrocuted. My hand fell limply at my side. I needed to run as far away from the noises as humanly possible, but I couldn't bring myself to stop listening. It was like a bad car crash, a disaster that you couldn't look away from.
"Mmm, I've been waiting for your cock. All. Summer," she cried out, getting progressively louder with each word.
I didn't even notice I'd started crying until I felt the tears trickle under the collar of my shirt.
No, please, no, I begged. This can't be real.
No, my inner voice called, this is what's real. It's the rest that's not real. Obviously.
I staggered away from the door and out of the bunk, slamming the door shut behind me. I leaned against the nearest tree; I needed support of any kind. My body folded in half as it wracked itself with silent sobs.
My heart felt like it was shattering into two billion pieces, each one of them being chewed, spit out, and stomped on again and again. I could literally feel pieces of myself breaking off.
What had just happened? Had he been lying about liking me? Was it all some joke to him? Or had he just been that impatient for sex that he needed to get it from somewhere else, since he didn't want to do me. But of course he didn't want me—young, inexperienced Bella.
Maybe you should get it from somewhere else, the niggling voice in the back of my head called. Even though I'd said it as a joke, right now, I couldn't think of a better plan. If Edward wanted to fuck someone, then so could I.
Without thought, I ran blindly through the male staff quarters, looking for the bunk where I would finally rid myself of my virginity. The word felt thick and gross, and I wanted to get rid of it more than anything else. Rational thought left my mind as I opened the door, not even bothering to knock.
Seth's shocked face turned around at the sound of his door slamming shut behind me.
"Bella?" His body turned towards me, his expression a mix of concern, frustration, and sadness. "Are you okay?"
I hadn't tried to use my vocal chords since my bout of mass hysteria, and my throat felt raw as I tried to gasp, "I…I…"
"What happened?" he asked, his genuine expression only making me feel that much more determined.
Here it was…the big moment. Weeks of failed attempts at seduction, drunken confessions, and confusion clouded my mind, but here I was. I stood before him, trembling slightly. Seth approached slowly, like he was somehow afraid that he was going to scare me off.
Silly boy, I came to you.
"Bella," he whispered my name reverently, as if it were a prayer. I gulped. No one had ever said my name like that before, and it gave me the confidence to continue. "What are you doing here?" He stood directly in front of me now, brushing the hot tears off my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
He looked so sad, so broken, but so desperate.
Me too, Seth. Me, too.
Desperation took over, and in that moment, the past few weeks ceased to matter. I might not have been able to keep Edward, but I had Seth. I did. I had him. I had this. I could do this.
Okay, pep talk over, Bella.
I lifted my head to meet his before placing a shaking hand on his cheek. He sighed and leaned into my hand. In a rare moment of determination, I moved my hand from his cheek to rest at the base of his neck, pulling his mouth towards mine. He resisted ever so slightly before groaning and crashing his lips onto mine.
"Bella, Bella, Bella," he moaned, tugging off my shirt and unbuttoning my shorts. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."
The world slowed down as he began to remove his own clothing. First his shirt met mine on the floor, revealing a set of washboard abs that I knew were there…but, oh, was it different to see it now. Fuck. I was totally going to lose it. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I tried to keep my tears at bay, focusing on his lips moving against mine, distracting me as much as possible. Next, he kicked off his sneakers and pulled off his pants.
"You're so beautiful," I breathed, taking in his body for the first time. It might not have been the body that I wanted, but that body was making someone else moan with pleasure. I just needed to move past it. Move past him. Within seconds, Seth's body was crushed against mine again, leading us back onto his bed. We collapsed in a heap of groaning limbs, hands holding onto one another for dear life.
His tongue slid into my mouth, making us both whimper with pleasure, but it wasn't even close to comparable to Edward's kisses. Why wasn't this working the way I wanted it to? Without further ado, Seth moved his mouth to my neck as he reached behind me to unclasp my bra. In the distance, I heard a door slam and his laugh pierce through the silence of the night. My eyes widened, and I froze for a millisecond, wondering if he was walking Emily to the door and kissing her goodbye. My panic was short-lived, as I'd already made up my mind. I needed to focus all my attentions on Seth. He deserved that much. I took a deep breath went to continue, but the damage was already fucking done.
He pushed himself off me and sat on the edge of the bed with his eyes downcast, surely avoiding the tears that I could now feel streaming down my cheeks...again. Boys were not made to do well with crying virgins in their bed.
"We shouldn't be doing this, Bella," he sighed, running a hand through his tussled hair. "It's…this is wrong. I…I'm sorry," he stuttered, throwing my clothes back at me before fleeing his own bunk as I looked for something to cover my naked chest.
It's wrong, I repeated in my mind.
He was right, of course. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. I sat there, clutching his pillow to my chest, finally allowing my heaving sobs to overtake me. It's wrong. It's so wrong.
Chapter End Notes: *ducks to avoid the angry mobs* I'm going to go into hiding now. I'm sorry. Feel free to visit the thread and yell and cry and scream. I'm kind of expecting it.
www (dot) twilighted (dot) ?f=44&t=7126