Set in the Vic, just after Roxy has been to see Syed, after Christian was beaten up, but before anyone knows about the overdose. Still from Roxy's POV.
Thanks so much for the reviews – the only problem was this fic is that looking at things from Roxy's POV means I am starting not to like Syed, can't have that for too long! Need to get through this chapter first though.
Chapter 3
"Prove it."
Well there it is – I have set Christian the challenge, and with a flicker of his old self showing he can't resist it. He might be able to duck out of shopping, a night out on the town, but he just can't resist flirting. That bloke seems nice and he could be just the right thing for him just now, to show him there are plenty other fish in the sea, to help him to get over Syed.
The outward scars are beginning to heal, but inside... if I don't do something quickly he will end up the same way he did last time, a prisoner in his own flat, scared of the world. I have to get him out and about, any way that I can, I'll play as dirty as I need. If that means he takes his anger out on me so be it. Better he feels anger than feels nothing at all. Hopefully after what I said, Syed he will go, just go away and stop taunting Christian, give him a chance to move on, to get on with his life.
When Syed came back to Walford, I thought at the very least he had come back for Christian. Now I'm a family person, I know the draw of blood ties – despite all the secrets, lies and arguments, family is still family. His family though have made it clear there is no way back, if that is the case there is nothing stopping them getting back together. Syed though chooses not to. He offers Christian nothing, not a word of comfort, not a hand to hold, not an explanation. With nothing more to lose there can only be one explanation – he lied to Christian about loving him, he was no more than a distraction from his unhappy marriage, maybe even that Christian was his forbidden fruit and now it is available he has lost interest. Sure I can see he is in pain too – drinking vodka, but that pain is rooted in his family and religion, not in Christian.
Christian told me Syed had walked right passed him in the street, looked through the cuts and bruises like they didn't exist, like he didn't exist. Then later, came crawling back with an apology, so Christian FINALLY told him to get lost. Syed cheats on his wife, Syed goes against his religion, Syed lies to him, Syed lies to his family – and who gets beaten up, by his "holier than thou" family – Christian does! I have never been so frightened in all my life seeing Christian being wheeled into that ambulance, I thought he was seriously hurt, I was frightened he might die. That wasn't just a few bruises, he was beaten unconscious, he needed stitches for goodness sake and Masood just walked away and left him lying in the street.
After all this Christian, bless his gentle heart, still forgives, still defends them, refuses to prosecute his wicked odious family – and still hurts. He tries to deny it – as much to himself as to me. Yes he tries to deny it, he tries to hide it, but I'm not blind, I see it etched in his face, in the hunch of his shoulders, in his walk. The life and soul is being sucked out of him, and every glimpse of Syed sets him back.
I watch Christian working his charm, looking relaxed for the first time in ages pouring a glass of wine, flirting – no correct that, pulling! The guy is falling for it.
And then in walks Minty – and sets everything back to square one with news of Syed's overdose. My hearts in my mouth, I know it is my fault, I know I pushed him over the edge and I am relieved to hear that he is OK – but Christian bolts, like a love-struck teenager he runs to be by his side, boy has he got it bad.