Set in the cafe where Roxy the morning after. Thanks for the reviews – they are much appreciated.
I may have to keep this going after seeing the New Year episodes of EE.
Chapter 7
I am such an idiot. What on earth was I thinking last night? If it wasn't bad enough having Christian shouting me out at the club I was left with Janine, laughing at me. What was it she called me a "Fag Hag" – is that what I have turned into? I can't believe in the fun stakes Roxy Mitchell could lose out to Syed Masood, I mean we are not even in the same league! I really don't want to lose Christian, he has been such a great mate – and not just for the fun stuff. Mind you it's not the first time he has accused me of being self centred. I know I am, but that doesn't mean I don't want him to be happy too.
My heart lifted this morning when I saw Christian at the door, but he left me in no doubt that he is still mad at me. I bounce between being desperate to do something to make him forgive me and being angry at him for taking itso seriously. I mean a shot of vodka is hardly as serious as ... as well sleeping with your sister's boyfriend. I mean he should know me better than now – I'm impulsive, I say things, do things before I properly engage my brain. I don't really mean any harm I just don't think things through properly. It's not like vodka is going to kill him – just loosen him up a bit. It's not like outing him in front of the entire community after all. Oh that's all I need. If Syed is coming over here to have a go at me as well I will swing for him.
You know he is quite sweet really, and when he looks at you with sincerity he has nice puppy dog eyes. He agrees with me that Christian totally over reacted last night, he thought it was a bit stupid, but as he says when you don't drink you can't miss it when someone gives it you – it tastes foul. He said if he had realised Christian was going to react like that he would have just have left it and spoken to me on my own. I apologised to him, the way I should have last night, and he just smiled and said it was OK.
Then we talked, it is the first time I have had a proper discussion with Syed, and it was quite enlightening. He is right about one thing. This is a big adjustment for everyone, for him, for Christian and their families – but for me too. I have been so used to Christian being the strong one, supporting me through my life dramas; I haven't stopped to think how difficult it is for him to adjust from being wild, free and single to a committed relationship, especially one that comes with so much baggage, complications and unknowns. I guess he is just over compensating – trying too hard be "good" and being a bit over protective of Syed.
Anyway Syed left saying he would encourage Christian to value the friendship that we have. I guess it's not a competition that there needs to be a bit of respect on all sides. The one thing I do know is that Christian has a big heart – and that there is enough to go round. Not that I would admit that to him, I don't wanting him getting big headed.