AN: This chapter is over 12k words long. I put everything I had into it. This is the ending I'd always imagined myself to have but never got. I hope it means as much to you all as it does to me.
Thank you for each of your reviews and your continued support. I cherish it more than you know.
And super duper thanks to my beta team, lreganb and lisa89, for getting this back to me in record time. You're both magical.
Okay, final chapter…here we go.
~Bella~
"Ugh!" I growled as my truck sputtered and coughed in its space in our dorm parking lot. This was not the right time for this.
Seeing as how it was the week of Thanksgiving, I was the only intern at Plan B this afternoon, and I was already running late because of a god damned film discussion. Seriously, some film school twits were way too pretentious for their own good. But I'd never been late to work before, and I didn't want to start today. My parents had never been big into celebrating Thanksgiving—my mom couldn't cook for shit, so we usually ended up with microwaved and instant food anyway—and I agreed that it'd be a waste of time and money to drive or fly back up to Washington for only four days. Plus, this way I looked like an awesome intern because I hadn't asked for any time off. And I'd continue to look like an awesome intern if my car would just fucking turn on.
I turned the ignition again just as my phone started buzzing in my lap. The truck roared to life, and I breathed a sigh of relief before answering the phone and quickly pulling out of the parking lot.
"Hello?"
"B-Town!" Jasper shouted loudly across the line as Alice giggled in the background.
I snickered. "Jasper, are you drunk?" I glanced at the clock, seeing it was only 1:15 my time. "It's not even five where you are."
"Bella, you don't understand. Alice's family is crazy!" They both giggled, and I could practically picture him blushing as Alice did or said something inappropriate. "I've been drinking glasses of scotch with Michael Brandon since before noon. Yeah, did you know Alice's dad has two names as his name? Michael Brandon. Never trust a guy with two first names…" he rambled, bringing a smile to my face.
As Jasper went on, I drove down the freeway at record speed—well, for my truck anyway—and laughed and yes'ed and no'd in all the right places. They sounded so happy, and although I loved them both, there was still a knot in my stomach that made me want to punch them both out for rubbing it in my face.
"Okay, guys…" I interrupted their diatribe, knowing I'd most likely lose service as soon as I entered the underground parking of the building. "I'm at work, so I have to run. But I love you both, and drink some water with dinner, J-Town! And have fun fucking Alice in her childhood bed."
"What?" he asked distractedly.
"Nothing, nothing. Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Love you."
Their excited chatter was cut off as I drove to my assigned parking spot on the left side of the lot. I glanced at the clock one last time and noticed that I'd arrived with ten minutes to spare. Grinning, I shoved my phone into my purse and made my way upstairs.
I pushed my way through the glass doors and smiled upon my very flamboyant welcome.
"Bella!" the receptionist, Chris, called out. "You look divine today. Give me a twirl."
I gave him a spin, showing off my latest trendy outfit—dark skinny jeans, a low-cut black sweater, a bright blue scarf, and a pair of knee-high boots. I'd learned pretty quickly that everyone in LA had a look, and I needed to find my own. Thank God flat boots were in style at the moment, so I could look cute and not kill my feet from walking around in heels all day. I honestly didn't know how some of the girls here did it.
"Thanks, Chris." I smiled and leaned over the desk to grab Jeremy's mail before tucking it under my arm and making my way back to the executives' offices.
Jeremy was on the phone when I arrived, as per usual, so I just left his mail in a pile at the corner of the desk. I was about to turn to leave when he put his hand up to stop me.
"Mhm…okay, yes…I do. No, sweetie, I promise I'll be home on time…okay…love you, too." He sighed and looked up at me with a tired smile. "Thanks, Bella. Are you the only one here today?"
I nodded nervously. Jeremy was the big honcho—he was one of the partners and the only one who was actually ever in the office.
"You're probably going to kill me seeing as you just drove all the way from 'SC in traffic, but I only have one errand for you and then you can head back home."
"Oh," I said, somewhat disappointed. I'd been looking forward to having something to occupy the rest of my day while all my friends headed back home for the holiday. "That's fine. What do you need?" I asked with a smile.
Jeremy shook his head and chuckled softly. "So eager, Bella. It's a pretty stupid errand, actually. I promised Maggie I'd buy her passes to a new Zac Efron movie premiering at The Grove tonight, but I'm not going to be able to make it down there if I want to be home in time. I guess that's what I get for living in Pacific Palisades, huh?"
"Not stupid at all. Me and Orson Welles, right? It actually looks like a great movie, but I'm a little biased because I really love Claire Danes, and come to think of it, Orson Welles, too. And maybe teaching thirteen year olds this summer has given me a new appreciation for Zac Efron, but please don't tell that to anyone else. I have a film school rep to maintain."
He let out a hearty laugh, and I bit my lip. I rambled when I was nervous.
"This is why I keep you around, Bella." He stood up suddenly and removed his wallet from his back pocket before sliding out a very shiny silver card and handing it to me. "The customer service people know you're coming. Just give them the card to hold onto tonight and tell them there should be three passes."
"Of course." I smiled and put the company credit card into an empty slot in my own wallet. Don't fuck this up, Bella.
"So, I guess we'll see you next week then," he said as he sat back down in his comfy-looking leather chair behind his desk. "Do you have any fun Thanksgiving plans?"
"Not really," I said, hoping I didn't sound too pathetic. "Just planning on hanging out in the dorms, maybe exploring LA a little bit, since I won't have any homework or anything."
"You're not going home for the holiday?" I shook my head, and his brow furrowed. "Angela would kill me if I didn't invite you over to celebrate with us."
"Oh no—" I began to protest, but he interrupted me.
"Bella, it's no problem. We have a huge Thanksgiving with a ton of industry people who I hate, and I know Maggie would love to see you. You know she's started coming into the office just to see you, right?" I smiled but couldn't find any words. It actually sounded nice.
"Wow, thank you. That sounds, um, fantastic. Do you need me to bring anything?"
Jeremy shook his head and waved me off with his hand. "No, no. We have the whole thing catered. In fact, if you wanted to bring someone you're more than welcome. A boyfriend, maybe?"
The fluttery feeling swirled around my stomach as I responded. "No, no boyfriend. But I do love spending time with Maggie." I paused. "Are you really sure? I'd hate to impose."
"Bella," he said with a long sigh. "Go run my errand like a good intern, and I'll see you at my house at four-thirty on Thursday, okay? No objections. I'll email you the address right now."
"Okay."
"Great."
An awkward silence filled the room, but it evaporated quickly as his phone rang. Seeing it was a business call, I headed out with a small wave. The office was practically empty, and I couldn't resist putting a little extra bounce into my step. It seemed as if my break was taking a very positive turn, and I couldn't have been more excited.
Back in my truck, I cranked the radio up and blasted some Bon Jovi. I rolled the windows down, enjoying the beautiful weather, and sang along loudly as I drove down Wilshire Boulevard.
The Grove came into view quickly, since I'd been somehow blessed by the traffic gods with zero traffic and barely any red lights. I was feeling seriously good and even hummed as I made my way down the three flights of escalators. It was bizarre how empty the whole place was. I guess it was partly because it was a random weekday afternoon, but I'd never seen The Grove so devoid of people.
I made my way straight towards the movie theater and handed over Jeremy's credit card to the concierge. He was incredibly helpful, and it didn't take long to finish the errand. Looking at the time, I noticed it was nearly four PM, and I really didn't feel inclined to sit in rush hour traffic back towards USC, so I decided to peruse the stores.
Upon moving to Los Angeles, I'd discovered that I loved The Grove. It wasn't that I particularly loved shopping, but I loved the atmosphere. Walking amongst the throngs of people and stores was almost like walking through a movie set. A huge fountain was the centerpiece of the large circle of shops, and it lit up as it played to old school Frank Sinatra songs, dancing along with the music. I called it Disneyland for adults—even though Disneyland was totally for adults too—just because of the happy and clean atmosphere.
After almost forty-five minutes of browsing, I decided I was hungry. I walked to The Farm, a small café located right next to the theater, to grab a hot chocolate and a giant brownie.
I'd just paid the cashier and taken my first sip of hot chocolate when I heard it. My eyes flitted around as I looked for the culprit of the shocking noise. I saw nothing and sighed in relief. I was completely crazy, obviously.
Feeling on edge, I decided to swing by the movie theater concierge one last time before leaving, just to make sure everything was really in order. He looked confused as he nodded, showing me the passes along with the credit card. Of course he'd taken care of it. I was representing a very high-profile client. I breathed and let the tension drain from my shoulders. Everything was fine. And I heard it again. This time, it was like a knife through my stomach, and it took all my effort not to make a scene.
Blood throbbed in my ears and my heart pounded, stuttering and stopping and restarting so much I clutched at my chest.
"But I don't want to, Kate," he whined. I would recognize that whine anywhere. Anywhere. "I refuse to sink to your pretentious level of cinema where just because something is disturbing makes it a worthwhile film. It doesn't. Just because she's molested by both her parents and it'll probably win a bunch of Oscars doesn't make it great filmmaking. I'd rather see…" His voice drifted off as he looked through the movie times overhead, and I finally let my eyes focus and find him.
He was across the room, standing in front of the movie kiosks with some supermodel-looking blonde, who looked equally annoyed with him as he did with her. He looked, in a word, spectacular. His bronze hair was cut shorter, and my fingers ached to run through it. He was wearing his standard black jeans, band t-shirt, hoodie and sneakers, making my heart race.
"Edward," the blonde complained. "I'm not going to see some stupid vampire movie or anything with Sandra Bullock. Sorry."
"What about Pirate Radio?" a third voice spoke up, and I knew exactly who it was. And I knew I needed to get the hell out of there before I fucking lost my shit. "It's the new Richard Curtis film, Kate—he did tons of movies you love…Notting Hill, Love Actually, Bridget Jones. Plus, it's got that super hot young British celebrity, who's supposedly the next big thing."
He laughed, twisting the knife further into my gut. "Oh, middle child. Thank you for settling that dispute. Let's do it. Kate, you in?"
He looked towards her, and for a second, I froze, thinking that he'd spotted me. He didn't, though, and turned back to the kiosk as his sister nodded in agreement. This was my opening. I needed to escape before they started walking towards the theaters and past the concierge.
"Um, miss?" the man behind the counter asked far too loudly. "Is everything all right?"
"Huh?" I turned back to the concierge and realized I most definitely looked like a crazy person. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." Keeping my head down, I made my way towards the door, but it was fruitless. The fucking concierge had drawn attention to me, and halfway out the door I heard Tanya's voice calling out my name.
I sped up my pace and my breathing. I tried to calm myself. Hyperventilating wouldn't do me any good right now. But then I heard him calling my name, and it was too much. Tears clouded my vision as I reached the escalators. I couldn't wait and began to run up them, ignoring everyone else. My mission was just to get to my car and get the fuck out of there. What was he doing here? On my turf? And why wouldn't he tell me he was going to be out here, so I could at least have been prepared? Why hadn't anyone said anything? I'd talked to Alice and Jasper merely hours ago, and neither of them had thought it pertinent to tell me he was here?
I was so lost in myself that I didn't even notice he'd caught up to me until sparks flew up my arm at his smallest touch.
"MB!" he said as he finally wrapped his hand around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.
I snatched back my wrist and caressed it with my other hand, tending to it as if he'd burned it. "You don't get to call me that," I responded angrily.
How dare he? It'd be one thing to show up like this and call me by my name, but to call me by his name was just unacceptable. The sadness morphed into rage, and I wanted to let him have it.
"Excuse me." Both of us turned in the direction of the voice, a young man awkwardly trying to get around us and off the escalator, which we'd been blocking.
We both muttered our apologies, and I was ready to take off when he grabbed at me again. "Bella, please don't go!"
I seethed, and tears streamed down my cheeks as I broke free from his grasp again. "Why shouldn't I?" I snapped. "You already let me go once."
He tugged at his hair, and I could watch his frustration build, although it only served to annoy me further. What right did he have to be upset with me? Absolutely none.
"Bella, I know it must seem like that's what happened, but I—I just…" His words stumbled around aimlessly. He had no justification for his actions.
"You just what, Edward? You forgot how to use the phone and the computer? Oh wait, no you didn't. You just forgot how to use it with me, and I can't for the life of me figure out why. But I stopped wondering that two months ago, Edward. I let go, just like you did, and I moved on. And I was doing just fine until you decided to show up." I talked until I ran out of breath, my anger making it come in short hard pants.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as he took a step closer to me. Instinctively, I took a step back. I couldn't have him touch me again. I had resolve, and I wanted to keep it. I knew his comforting touch would make me crumble faster than I'd ever respect myself for.
"No you're not," I countered, and he looked as if I'd slapped him across the face. Good. He should be hurting, too.
"I am, Bella. God, you have no idea how hard—"
Oh, this was rich. "I have no idea? Really? I beg to differ."
"Yes!" he fumed. "You have no idea what it was like to get that first email about how happy you were to be going to college. Look at you!" He paced back and forth with one hand running through his hair and the other perched precariously on the bridge of his nose. "Bella, you're beautiful and smart and talented and taking over the fucking film industry. I wanted to write back. I really did. But what the fuck was I supposed to say? Uh, not much to report—same old weddings and editing and falling asleep watching Robot Chicken? My life was pathetic, and I wanted you to keep that image of me you had of me as being successful because it's so far from where I am. And I guess I was embarrassed. The camp me is nowhere close to the real life me, and I freaked out, okay?"
"Okay?" I paused before coming back louder and taking a large step towards him, adrenaline pushing me forward. Our eyes locked, and I flew at him, pushing against his chest with each statement. "Okay? Your life was pathetic? Think again, you egotistical bastard! You are pathetic. Fuck you!"
"Bella, stop!" he yelped, attempting to grab at my hands, but I refused.
"Get away from me!"
My hand met the skin of his cheek in a large smack, turning his head with the force of it. My fingers tingled where they'd come into contact with him, and as I looked back I could see a bright red welt where my hand had been and a small trail of blood trickling out of his nose. I almost couldn't believe I'd just done it until Tanya and Kate came running up the escalator and onto the garage level with us.
"Oh Teddy, shit," Kate said as she grabbed his face between both her hands to examine him closer. "Didn't this just heal?"
He shrugged and slid his eyes towards me.
"I…" I glanced at the scene before me and felt sick. There was so much I hadn't dealt with, but I'd never wanted to hurt Edward. "I have to go."
I heard Tanya calling after me again, but this time no one pulled me back before I reached my truck. The door creaked open and slammed shut behind me, shrouding me in a thick silence. I struggled not to cry, but I remembered the promise I'd made to myself on my birthday. I would not cry over Edward Cullen anymore. I just wouldn't. If he didn't want me as a part of his life, he didn't have to have me. I had my internship, my classes, my friends.
But you still want him.
Trying to center myself, I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel and closed my eyes. That was a mistake if I'd ever made one. As soon as I did, all I could hear, smell, and feel was him. I felt completely off kilter, and I hated him for his ability to get me this messed up.
A soft tapping against my window startled me, causing me to bolt upright in a bundle of nerves. I sighed, seeing the cause of the noise, and leaned over to open the door. Tanya slid in beside me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
"Hey."
"H-hi." My voice cracked with the effort it took not to cry.
"I'm not so sure you're safe to drive yourself home." She smiled, and I laid my head on her shoulder, finally giving into the oppressive sadness that had been pushed to the edges by my anger. One tear turned into two, which turned into a sniffle, which subsequently led to body-wracking sobs within the course of about fifteen seconds.
As I cried it out, Tanya somehow managed to finagle the keys from my hand and switch our bodies so she was in the driver's seat. The truck started with a low rumble, and she began to pull out of the parking lot.
"W-wait," I stuttered, still finishing off my tears. "H-how are you gonna g-get back to wherever y-you're staying?"
Please don't say Edward will come pick you up because I cannot handle that right now.
"Kate has a great apartment downtown, since she's all corporate now. It's fine. I can just take the DASH."
I was legitimately surprised by her answer. I mean, I'd figured they were staying with Kate, but she seemed pretty LA savvy for being new to town. I quirked my eyebrow in her direction. "You know how to use the DASH?"
Tanya giggled awkwardly and nodded as she pulled onto the freeway.
"How do you know how to use the DASH?" I asked, honestly curious.
She snorted and smirked in my direction. "Certainly not because Edward forced us to take a trip down to USC yesterday."
My jaw dropped. "You're serious?"
She smiled and nodded. "He's pulled his head out of his ass, Bella. I swear." Then in a concerned tone she added, "Is it too late?"
"I don't know," I said with a sigh. And I really didn't.
I knew that I was furious with Edward for being such a self-centered asshole, but I did miss him. And did I always hold out hope that he'd figure out he wanted to be with me? Yeah, of course. I guess I just needed some extra reassurance that he wouldn't flake out on me like that again. I didn't know if my heart could handle it twice. Plus, just because he was here now and he happened to see me didn't really mean anything, right? I mean, had we not accidentally run into each other, would I have even known he was in Los Angeles? That thought cut me deep, and I hated myself as tears started to form again.
We drove in a comfortable silence the rest of the way home until Tanya asked where she needed to park. I directed her to the appropriate lot and breathed a little easier, happy to be back on more familiar ground.
My head was still reeling as I led Tanya through the complex corridors of my dorm. I felt like I needed a really good nap. Or pizza. At the thought, my stomach growled loudly, clearly agreeing with me.
"Are you hungry?" I asked as I unlocked my door and pushed it open.
"I could eat," Tanya responded, pushing her way through and examining my rather sparse room. As she continued to explore the pictures and posters I had on display, I called in pizza, cheesy bread, and Dr. Pepper from Papa John's. Yes, I had them in my cell phone, and yes, it was definitely that kind of night.
"Hey, can I borrow a sweatshirt?" she asked as she perused my closet. "It's actually getting kind of cold. I thought LA was always supposed to be warm. What the hell?"
I nodded and hung up the phone. "Sure. Pizza should be here in about a half hour."
"Great," she said slowly as she began to remove the only sweatshirt in the entire closet I didn't want her to touch.
"Wait! Not that one!" I jogged the few short steps to the closet and pushed the thick red hoodie to the back where it had been hanging.
Her head whipped in my direction as the rest of her body froze. "I…" She began to say something, but she stopped when she realized there were no words.
Pink colored my cheeks as I muttered, "It still smells like him."
Understanding washed over Tanya's features, and she wrapped me in her arms in a vice grip. I sighed into her shoulder as her hands rubbed small, comforting circles on my back.
"Why don't you go take a shower while I wait for the pizza?"
I nodded. That sounded like a brilliant idea. A hot shower was just what I needed to calm myself down from the whirlwind of emotions I was currently experiencing.
Grabbing my robe and shower bucket, I made my way to the communal showers down the hall. It was creepy how empty the dorm was, but it was also kind of nice. The silence was welcomed. At least there was nothing to compete with the cacophony swirling in my head.
I stripped down and stepped in, letting the hot water pelt down and nearly burn my skin. It was a welcome distraction. I knew I needed to deal with my feelings for Edward, but it wasn't like I had to do that right now. After all, he was here visiting his sister, not me. I showered languorously, methodically washing and rinsing every inch of my body thoroughly.
Once I finally felt clean enough, I turned off the water and used my robe to towel off slightly before heading back to my room. The door was cracked open, and I distractedly pushed it open, placing my wet shower bucket by the entry.
"Pizza here yet?"
"Um, no," a familiar voice responded. "But Tanya just went out to get it."
I looked up, witnessing my fantasy come to life. There, sitting on the edge of my bed, playing with the edge of my blanket, was a nervous-looking Edward.
Guess I wasn't going to be able to put off thinking about him. It looked like that was happening now.
Fuck my life.
~Edward~
"Fuck!" I cried out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Kate flicked her eyes in my direction and turned up the stereo system on her BMW. "This temper tantrum isn't making you seem all that attractive, Teddy."
"You're a cunt," I muttered, causing her to glare at me with a piercing stare.
"I'm going to let that one go because you're hurting and obviously were completely unprepared for everything that just went down, but try calling me a cunt again, and I'll rip your balls off."
"Sorry." She was right. My tantrum wasn't appealing in the least, but I couldn't help it. I'd arrived in Los Angeles yesterday and foolishly assumed that Bella would have gone home for Thanksgiving. Clearly I should have checked that out with Jasper before leaving. Or maybe he knew and had just been keeping it from me.
And honestly, how likely was it that I would run into her in a city that covers nearly five hundred square miles and contains fifteen million people? Not very. Well, I'd assumed it wouldn't be likely, anyway. Obviously I'd been mistaken.
As soon as I saw her, I moved forward to follow her without any conscious thought. I was just drawn to her. I couldn't fucking help it. But she was so upset and hurt, and fuck, of course she was! But she hadn't given me a second to explain myself. And there was a shitload to explain. Especially now.
"Stop panicking, Teddy," Kate said with a comforting squeeze to my shoulder. "It'll be okay. P.S., nice work. She's a cutie. Tan was right about that one. She's feisty."
I snorted. That was the understatement of the year. My face still prickled from where she'd slapped me, but thank God my nose hadn't shifted too much, just enough to have it bleed a tiny bit. No big deal. Hah, the bigger deal was that she had enough animosity to slap me in the first place. I was seriously going to have to think of a way to get her to listen to me. I'd planned on approaching her when I was ready and the time was right, but now that I'd seen her, I knew I needed to see her again. Tonight.
"Um, Kate?" I asked nervously. I hated asking my big sister for favors. Lord knew she had enough to hold over my head already.
"Yes, Teddy?"
"Can I borrow your car? You know, to go pick up Tanya?"
She laughed softly and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Teddy. You can borrow the car to go stalk your ex-girlfriend. Just be careful, okay? And don't come back too late because some of us still have to go to work tomorrow, even though it's the day before Thanksgiving, and I never get to see my family ever," she rambled as she pulled into the driveway of her fancy apartment. The valet was about to come over when Kate shooed him away with a flick of her hand and turned back to me. "Don't scratch it. Seriously, this thing is my baby." With that, she swung her door open and hopped out, leaving the keys in the ignition for me. "Good luck."
"Thanks, Kate. I owe you…again."
She laughed and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she waved goodbye. "Believe me, I'm keeping track."
I hopped into the driver's seat and took off, straight down until I reached the USC gate. I knew it was sketchy as fuck, but I couldn't help it. I needed to see her, and why should my sister be able to see her when I couldn't? That wasn't fair at all.
Unlike yesterday when Tanya and I had explored the campus ourselves, the school was now devoid of any life whatsoever. Green and brick and fountains lay still, and I took it in as I parked the car and hopped out. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I didn't know which one was her dorm. I knew it was called New North, but as I headed toward the closest building to the drive, I couldn't see any sign denoting the name of the buildings. Fuck.
Frustrated, I pulled my phone from my hoodie pocket and dialed the only person who would have some semblance of advice for me right now.
"She's fine," Tanya answered with no precedent. "A little shaken up, but she's sorting through everything in her own overly analytical way, which I'm sure you're in the process of doing, too."
"Um…" I trailed off, unsure of what I needed to ask her. "Can you maybe sort of—"
Suddenly, Tanya's voice was calling out to me from two places. "Teddy!" I flipped my phone closed as I saw her head pop out of a doorway across the street from where I was standing.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked and shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets.
Tanya rolled her eyes and opened the door further to let me inside. "I know you, you shithead."
"Thanks." My feet stumbled over the carpet as she began to drag me through the hallway and up a long stairwell.
"Wait! Wait! T, what are you doing? We can't just walk in there together!"
"She's in the shower, Teddy. It's fine."
I breathed calmly until I let her words sink in. Bella was in the shower? Naked and wet, and I would be waiting in her room for her? Fuck, this was such a bad plan. Before I had time to oppose, Tanya opened her door and led me inside.
It was very Bella, and I couldn't resist smiling as I looked around. Her side wasn't messy, but it looked lived in. Little things were slightly askew, giving it a homey feeling that her roommate's side lacked. The shelf above her desk was completely filled with DVDs, and a black and white James Dean poster hung at the foot of her bed. A huge corkboard lined the wall next to her bed, and it was completely filled with pictures. It didn't escape my notice that my face was missing from the mix, though. Sighing, I sat on the edge of her bed and calmed myself down. Well, for a millisecond, at least, until Bella's phone rang and Tanya answered it, saying their pizza had arrived. Without so much as a goodbye, she sprinted out of the room, leaving me to wait by myself. This was such a bad idea.
Trying to stay calm, I slowly breathed in and out. In what seemed to be a matter of seconds, the door was swinging open and revealing Bella—naked and wet, just as I had feared.
"Pizza here yet?" she asked distractedly as she dropped her shower stuff by the door.
"Um, no," I began, nervously playing with the end of her blanket. "But Tanya just went out to get it."
Her eyes sprang up in my direction, and I watched as her entire chest blushed beneath her loosely tied robe. She looked stunning. Water droplets from her long hair soaked the shoulders of the fluffy fabric, and I could almost predict the exact second she twirled it away from her neck and put it into a messy bun. Fuck, I'd missed her.
Awkward silence enveloped us, and I realized how rude it was of me to be staring at her half-naked form.
"I-I need to get dressed," she stuttered.
"Right! I'll just…"
I spun around and faced the window away from the opened closet so that she could change without my obvious ogling. I'd been in front of her for approximately thirty seconds, and I was already completely fucking this up. Figuring this was my only chance to have her listen to me, despite her distraction, I jumped in and just went for it.
"I moved to Los Angeles." My statement was met with silence; not even the slightest rustle of fabric could be heard. I barreled forward, knowing this was most likely the only chance I was going to get. "I want a job in the film industry," I said to the wall. "I was a mess when I got home, Bella. I know that doesn't excuse anything, but I'd given up. And you sounded so happy here, and it was so clear that I was never going to be a part of the life you were going to have, so I freaked and pussied out. But I got a huge fucking wake up call when I realized that I was only selling myself short. Okay, well, I didn't realize that. Seth made me realize that. So, I asked Kate if I could move in with her until I found a job, and she agreed because she's pretty much the best fucking sister ever. Don't tell Tanya." I chuckled, but I still heard nothing in response. "I'm sorry I fucked up so badly. And I'm even more sorry that I hurt you because I love you, but I'm just an idiot. And I told you I didn't know what I was doing. Not that that's any excuse…"
I trailed off, cutting my diatribe short since I hadn't heard so much as a peep from Bella since I'd begun my word vomit. Tentatively, I turned back towards her. She was standing in the doorway, dressed in a simple tank top, yoga pants, and USC hoodie, with her arms crossed and tears in her eyes. I just couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing yet.
"You moved to Los Angeles?" she whispered with gritted teeth. Bad thing it is. Nicely done, buddy. Fucking up one step at a time.
I gulped, willing my mouth to start creating saliva again, but it seemed to be failing majorly in that duty at the moment.
"Um, yeah." I stood up and took a step forward, but her step backwards stopped me in my tracks again.
"When?"
"Huh?"
"When did you get here, Edward?" she croaked as she discretely tried to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek.
"Um, about ten minutes ago…"
She chuckled humorlessly and thumbed away another tear. "Not to my room, douchebag. I mean to Los Angeles. When did you get here?"
I could feel my brow furrow in confusion. "I flew in yesterday, and Jasper is shipping the rest of my stuff when he gets back from Alice's on Saturday." Why the hell would that matter to her?
"Oh." She nodded curtly, and the tension returned with a vengeance as both our mouths closed, leaving us in silence.
All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and spoon. Okay, maybe I wanted to do more than that, but at the moment, that was what I was really aching for. Just comfort.
Luckily, Tanya swung the door open, her hands filled with a large box and several plastic bags, interrupting whatever madness had just transpired between Bella and me.
She assessed the situation and quickly came to my save, except not because I clearly didn't deserve saving. "I swear I didn't call him, B. He just showed up, and the pizza got here before I could kick him out."
I growled slightly, annoyed that my sister wouldn't even stick up for me. But then I saw her wink. At first I thought it was some random eye twitch, but as I took a step towards the door, Bella sighed and hung her head, mumbling, "It's fine. He can stay."
Tanya smiled brightly and sat down cross-legged on the floor. I couldn't believe it. She really was the master manipulator. I had no idea how she knew how to do these things. But I really needed to learn how to stop questioning her, that was for sure.
"I got half plain, half sausage and mushroom. Hope that's okay." She leaned against her bed and opened the boxes of food, filling the room with that glorious cheap pizza smell. My stomach growled loudly, and I noticed that Bella finally cracked a smile in my direction.
"It's great," I answered. I let both girls take a slice before I took one of my own. I was already fucking up left and right, so I figured the least I could do was try and be a gentleman.
Bella dipped her slice into a container of ranch dressing, dousing it in the condiment so thoroughly that I was surprised she could taste anything else. I chuckled to myself at the ridiculousness of it, catching her attention. Her eyes flashed up at me angrily.
"Watch it, asshat. I have no qualms with pouring the rest of this on your slice." Her words were bitter, but her tone had a lightness to it that was more mocking than anything else. It gave me hope.
"Go for it," I countered. "I'd like to see you waste a single drop of your precious ranch. I remember how you feel about condiments."
"Oh, you do?" Her eyes burned into me, and I could see her teetering off the edge of playful and back into angry.
I gulped and nodded. "Mhm."
"That's surprising. I wouldn't think you'd remember anything about me, since I was clearly so easily forgotten." She took a large bite of her pizza, her teeth ripping through the cheese and dough. It scared me slightly.
"Bella, I remember everything."
She simply scoffed and continued eating. My eyes sought out Tanya's in a plea for help, but she looked a bit at a loss of what to say.
"So, I'm not feeling particularly well," Tanya said warily as she hopped up to her feet. "I forgot I'm lactose intolerant. I'm going to go."
Both Bella and I looked up at her in a panic, shouting in unison, "What? No!"
I scrambled after her and tugged on her arm. What did she think she was playing at? She could under no circumstances leave me alone. That was not part of the plan. "Tanya, you aren't lactose intolerant, and you cannot leave right now."
"Edward, you can do this. And you don't want me here. I know this," she whispered solemnly as she stepped out into the empty hallway. "Sorry, love you both!" she called out and slammed the door behind her.
"Um, did you want me to go, too?" I asked, still pressed up against the door.
Please say no, please say no.
She shook her head and shrugged. "I can't eat all this food by myself."
"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.
"Mhm."
I slowly made my way back to the floor. This time, I sat down across from her, propped against her roommate's bed. I thought it'd be easier to be further away from her, but I was wrong. From across the floor, I could really get a good look at her. I tried not to let my eyes wander to her cleavage, but she kept leaning over and dipping her food into the container of ranch. And for God's sake, I wasn't not going to look. I was a man, and I still wanted her body. I made no apologies.
Except I so do. I'm sorry.
We ate in silence, and I willed my cock to stay put. Luckily, the tension was so thick that it actually listened for the first time in history, and I was insanely grateful. A boner would have only complicated this already-messy situation.
After finishing, Bella put all the trash into the bags and gestured for me to follow her with a simple shake of her head. She led me down the hall and downstairs, outside to a gross-smelling dumpster. I was about to turn to go back inside when Bella started heading in the opposite direction, across the quad.
"Um, where are you going?"
"Try to keep up, Edward," she said with a roll of her eyes.
I didn't have to be told twice. My large strides caught up with hers easily, and soon we were walking together across the dark campus. Even at night, it was still beautiful. It looked like an east coast school, and then I remembered it'd been used as an Ivy League school in a few hundred movies. It definitely worked.
After crossing the quad, she led me down a wide road, which I assumed was the main drag. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something shiny and partially convered in bubble wrap and duck tape. I must have given it a weird look because Bella finally broke our silent spell and began to speak.
"That's Tommy Trojan. He's our mascot. He's usually not all wrapped up like that, but the UCLA game is coming up, and the students there have tried to vandalize him too many times, so he gets wrapped up." She smiled as she explained, and her eyes lit up as we walked down the wide path.
"This is University or Trousedale, and it's flanked by Bovard Auditorium and Doheney Library. Doheney has the best stacks ever, and one of my college goals is to do something naughty in them." She smirked and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she led me further along the street. "Bovard is covered in Ivy and has been used on screen from The Graduate to Legally Blonde to Forrest Gump to Ghostbusters. And I saw Steven Spielberg speak there about two weeks ago for a lecture on the Shoah Institute, which is housed at the film school here."
"Really?" I chuckled. "The Graduate?"
"They didn't want to film on location at Berkley." She shrugged and turned, now walking us away from the main road and bright lights to a smaller winding path that led to a small courtyard with a circular fountain at the center of it.
"Wow."
"This is where I live," she explained, pointing to a large building, which had "NORRIS THEATER" gilded across the top. "Practically."
"Class?" I asked softly, unsure of why this impromptu tour was taking place.
"Four out of my five are in here. I think the first thing I do when I get rich and famous is to rebuild Norris with stadium seating and a better screen. Too many hours of my life are passed in there for it to not be comfortable."
Bella was confusing the fuck out of me. Her mood had changed so suddenly, and I wondered if it was some sort of odd trap or something, but I doubted Bella was one of those kinds of girls.
"So, not that I'm opposed by any means," I started nervously, "but why are you showing me all of this?"
"I'm showing you what an asshole you are," she said as she lowered herself to sit on the edge of the fountain. I quirked an eyebrow at her, begging her to continue, and she didn't disappoint. "You said you wouldn't be able to fit into my life? I'm showing you my life, Edward. You would have fit in fine, but you sabotaged it yourself. Why?"
Her eyes were fraught with worry, and she chewed on her lip as she waited for me to explain myself. But I really didn't have much I could say.
"I'm three years out of school, Bella, and jobless."
"Well, that's your own fucking fault," she snapped.
"I'm well aware," I said stoically.
"Why now?" she asked. "What changed your mind?"
I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair, tugging on it gently. "Well, first Jake beat the ever-living shit out of me."
"He did?" she chirped, suddenly excited.
"Don't look so gleeful."
"Shut up, Edward. What'd he do?"
"Concussion, broken nose, two black eyes, and stitches to my eyebrow. Luckily, I just look even more distinguished with a crooked nose." I smirked, and she returned it hesitantly, although I knew part of her joy was imagining me injured.
"You deserved worse."
"I know." I breathed heavily and tentatively reached out a hand to rest atop hers. She eyed it warily but didn't move her hand away. "Bella." My voice was thick with desire. I knew it was wrong. It was too soon, and she was nowhere near forgiving me, but I fucking wanted her. Shadows of the trees fluttered across her face in the moonlight, giving her an ethereal glow. A light breeze wafted through the courtyard, chilling me, but the heat from her hand kept me warm. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
It was so soft I wondered if she'd heard me for a second. But when her eyes met mine, I knew she had. They were a concoction of emotions—pain, elation, hesitance, fury, desire, love—and I could feel myself drowning in them.
"I know," she whispered back, squeezing my fingers lightly. Her tongue peeked out and swiped her bottom lip, and I couldn't stop myself. I needed her. It had been three fucking months without her. Three miserable months.
I leaned forward slowly, giving her ample time to pull away, but she didn't. Her eyes closed, and her breathing increased. I could feel her exhale, warm against my skin, and breathed it in, needing her scent. Her fingers twitched beneath my hand, and I finally closed the gap between us.
My lips pressed against hers gently, barely moving, simply lingering. I ached to run my fingers through her hair, but I knew I needed to take it as slow as possible. Little by little, I began to move. Her lips parted, and it took all my willpower not to slide my tongue into her mouth. I wanted it so fucking bad, but I knew I had no right to take it. I went to deepen the kiss ever so slightly when Bella pushed on my shoulders, breaking us apart quickly.
"I can't."
She jumped up from the fountain ledge and covered her mouth with her hand. I wondered if her lips tingled the way mine did. Following her lead, I stood and went to place my hands on her shoulders. She recoiled, cringing from my touch. My hands automatically lifted in surrender. I'd fucking screwed up again. My talent for that was unmatched.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," I apologized again.
"I thought I could, but I can't. We can be friends, Edward, but I just c-can't." Her voice broke as she took a large step away from me, and I let her go. "Come on, let's go back to the dorm. It's cold out here." She spoke mostly to herself, unable to look me in the eye, and I trailed slightly behind her as she led us back towards the brightly lit quad and even-brighter dorm.
The fluorescent lights burned my eyes, so different from the low moonlight they'd gotten accustomed to, but it was nothing compared to the pain surging through my chest.
Friends.
It was such a dirty word. I didn't like it at all, but who was I to complain? This was my fault, anyway. Glancing at the clock, I realized the late hour and how utterly exhausted I was. Before she could open the door to the stairwell, I stopped her.
"Hey, Bella, I should probably get going. It's pretty late."
"Okay," she said in a daze. "Drive safe." She made no move towards me, so I turned and went to push the door back open. "Wait, Edward?" she interrupted. I spun to face her, intrigued by her flushed cheeks. "My boss invited me over for Thanksgiving."
"Uh, that's great." Was she bragging? I wasn't following her line of thought.
"Would you maybe want to come with me?" My face must have shown complete and utter shock, because she rushed to clarify. "As my friend, of course. It's just, I know he's in the process of looking for a new assistant, and I know that's not exactly what you want, but it's a great starting point, and I know he'd love you."
"Uh…"
I was speechless. That was a big fucking deal. And her mixed signals were killing me. Was this some sort of trap or something? Better question, did I even have anything to wear to something like that? I'd assumed we were going to Kate's boyfriend's place. Garret. He was a fuckawesome, low-key musician, and I knew I could wear jeans and a t-shirt there. But at a movie executive's Thanksgiving, I'd need something a little nicer.
"Never mind," she chastised herself. "That was stupid of me to ask. You're obviously having dinner with your family."
"No!" I shouted way too excitedly. Come on, Edward, reel it in. Don't scare her off again. "Uh, I mean, I just don't know if I have anything to wear, but I'm sure Kate's boyfriend has something I could borrow. We're almost the same size, I think."
"Yeah?" Her eyes looked so hopeful that I couldn't fucking say no now, even if Kate hated me forever for missing our first Thanksgiving together.
"Yeah, just pick me up whenever. I'll text you Kate's address."
She raised her eyebrow skeptically, and I realized what the fuck I'd just said. I was an asshole. This was going to take a whole lot longer to repair than I'd anticipated.
"Fuck, Bella, I really will text you. I'll do it right now if you want." I took my phone from my pocket and typed out Kate's address quickly and sent it to Bella's phone. It buzzed, muffled from the fabric of her sweatshirt. She took it out to read the text quickly before returning it to the pocket, seemingly satisfied that I hadn't lied this time.
"Okay," she said with a relieved sigh. "Good night."
With a heavy heart and churning stomach, I waved goodbye and made my way back to the car. I wasn't sure where this was going. I knew what I wanted, but I just didn't know how possible that was going to be. But fuck if I wasn't going to spend the rest of time trying.
~Bella~
I was an idiot. I knew that. When I'd let him stay for food, I'd known it. When I'd taken him through campus, I'd known it. When I'd let him kiss me, I'd known it. And when I'd invited him to Thanksgiving I'd really known it.
I called the one person I knew who would help me sort through everything as soon as I heard his car roar to life and pull out of the drive. After telling her everything, Rosalie yelled at me. Hardcore. She chastised me, making it known that I was completely out of my mind for letting him in so quickly. She said I was stronger and that she was disappointed in me. That one really hurt, but mostly because I was disappointed in myself.
However, it didn't change the fact that I still wanted him in my life and to forgive him for his blatant display of stupidity. I'd known as soon as Edward started talking and apologizing that everything Tanya had told me was true—he loved me. He really did. I could see it in his covert glances, hear it in his rich voice, feel it in his touch. Everything about him still called out to me, and despite my anger and sadness, I wanted him close. He may have been an idiot, but I was obviously an idiot, too. I was so fucking angry with him, but it was clear he knew he'd been wrong and we did belong together, despite his foolish attempts otherwise.
Rosalie made me promise to make him work for it, and I agreed. There was no way I was trusting him any time soon, but the selfish part of me wanted him close while he tried. I could only hope that he wouldn't give up.
Sighing sadly, I applied another coat of mascara before pulling out the hot rollers from my hair. I tugged my fingers tugged through the bouncy curls, turning them into long, loose waves. I took a step back and examined myself in the full-length mirror on the inside of my door. I looked good. I wasn't ashamed to admit it—Lord knew I'd prepped hard enough. I spun around, checking out every angle. Luckily, my go-to little black dress worked perfectly for the occasion, and paired with red pumps to match my red lips, I looked festive, too.
After grabbing directions to Jeremy's house, I made my way to my truck and started heading north on Figueroa to pick up Edward.
This is a mistake, my head yelled at me, but my heart just gave it the finger and flipped her hair, entirely ignoring its protests.
Nerves settled in my stomach as I pulled into the beautiful apartment driveway and texted Edward that I was there. They swirled around as my phone buzzed with an immediate response, and seconds later, he appeared in the doorway. My breath caught.
Edward was wearing a suit. I'd never seen him in a real suit before. He looked…unf. All clean cut and dressed up and perfect.
It was wrong to think that way, but I couldn't help it. Why did he have to look so good? He opened the door and slid in, his scent filling the small cab. Why did he have to smell so good, too? God fucking damnit, this was going to be a long night.
"Hey," he said nervously. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks. You don't look too bad, either."
He gulped, and I could see his Adam's apple bobbing out of the corner of my eye.
"Music?" he asked.
"I only have a tape deck."
He reached into a bag I didn't notice he'd brought with him and pulled out a cassette converter and his iPod. Chuckling softly, he held it up in offering. "Um, I made you a mix?"
I almost swerved off the road at his words, but I had to keep my cool. "Sure," I said with an appropriate amount of indifference—or at least I hoped.
He leaned forward and pushed the cassette into the dashboard, but as he pulled back, his arm brushed over mine slightly. Goosebumps covered my entire body, and I tried not to make a noise. I was saved by the first song coming on and drowning me out, but my composure was completely derailed when I realized what it was.
My heart literally ached in my chest, and a few tears rolled onto my cheeks.
Well, you've suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you won.
Take this sinking boat and point it north. We still have time.
Falling slowly, sing your melody. I'll sing along.
He was groveling. Two hundred percent. The song was from the movie Once, written about a guy who was miserable because he let the love of his life go. Edward was groveling not just through songs but movies, too? Staying strong was going to be harder than I'd originally anticipated.
We'd gotten through "Against All Odds," "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing," "Your Song," "Moon River," "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You," and "In Your Eyes," when we pulled up to Jeremy's Pacific Palisades mansion. The driveway was overflowing with cars, and my nerves made a raring comeback.
I got out of the car silently, unable to confront him just yet, and made my way to the door. I could feel him just behind me.
"Bella—" Edward began just as I pressed the doorbell, cutting him off unintentionally.
I was about to ask him what he needed when the door swung open, revealing a bouncing Maggie.
"Hi, Bella!" she squealed and wrapped me in a tight hug.
"Hey Maggie." I smiled. Seeing her was always a bright spot in my week. It was like having a little piece of Long Lake with me out in Los Angeles, making it feel like I wasn't too far from home.
Suddenly, Maggie's face went completely pink, and her eyes went wide as she took in the man standing next to me. Oops. I'd forgotten she had the same affinity for Edward as me.
"A-and Edward!" she stuttered.
Chuckling softly, Edward leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. "Hey, Maggie. How are you doing?"
Maggie pulled back, her face a dark shade of red as her eyes bounced back and forth between me and Edward.
"Good…"
"Bella!" Jeremy greeted us, strolling up behind his daughter, who was still flushed and jumpy. Following his daughter's eyes, he smirked while side-eyeing me and held out his hand to Edward. "I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend."
"I don't," I said, much too quickly. "This is Edward. He's my friend. He just moved to Los Angeles from the East Coast. He was also a counselor at Long Lake." I sounded like a pamphlet—awkward and jumpy and slightly educational. What was wrong with me?
"Oh?" Jeremy's eyebrows lifted, and I could visibly see his grip on Edward's hand tighten. "And what did you teach, Edward?"
"Video," he said gruffly.
"Jeremy, who's—oh hi, Bella!" Angela came at me with a kiss and pulled me inside the doorway, letting Edward follow nervously behind. He handed Jeremy a bottle of wine, and I couldn't help but smile in relief that he'd brought something. I'd wanted to, but I had no way to cook in the dorms, and it wasn't like I could go out and buy booze from the local liquor store. "And who's this?" she asked with a knowing smile.
"Edward Cullen," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake as well. Angela simply shook her head and hugged him, ignoring his outstretched hand. "Thank you for having me."
"Please, the more the merrier."
Angela led us through their house to the living room, which was buzzing with people. It was slightly intimidating with all these gorgeous people milling about and talking shop, and I instinctively reached out for Edward's hand. He took it without hesitation, and I couldn't help but relax at the warmth and comfort it brought me.
He nudged my shoulder softly as he leaned down to whisper, "Are you okay?"
I bit back a large sigh and simply nodded and smiled. "Thank you for coming with me."
A crooked smile appeared on his face, and I allowed myself to soak in his calming and supportive presence for a moment. He squeezed my hand and inched me closer as a few waiters with large silver platters walked by us.
However, our moment of calm was interrupted by Angela. She returned to us with two glasses of white wine, the same shrewd smile gracing her face as her eyes flickered to our intertwined hands. "I hope white is fine."
We both accepted the glasses gratefully and began to sip, neither of us letting go of the other's hand. She led us through the maze of people and bustling servers to a small circle of chairs in the far corner of the room. I almost fell over as I saw who was sitting there—fucking Brad Pitt reclined in his chair chatting with Edward Norton and my boss.
As if I hadn't been nervous enough before, I now had to deal with making conversation with one of my film idols and the founder of the production company I interned at. Oh, yeah, he's also Brad Pitt.
"Bella, I'd love you to meet your boss's boss," Angela cheered. "This is Brad and his date for the evening—" she chuckled "—Ed. Bella is a freshman at USC and Plan B's absolute best intern."
"Nice to meet you, Bella," Brad said standing up from his seat to shake my hand. Oh my God. Brad Pitt had just shaken my hand. Holy fuckballs. I was sure I was bright red, and I couldn't even form a proper response. Luckily, Angela kept going.
"And this is her date, Edward."
I glanced at Edward, expecting him to be just as much of a mess as me, but he looked like a little boy on Christmas morning, the brightest smile lighting up his entire face.
"Wow, who do I even introduce myself to first? I don't know which of you to talk to, or are you really the same person?" he rambled excitedly.
I couldn't believe he'd just cracked a Fight Club joke in front of them. Surprisingly, Edward Norton—I had to call him his full name, unable to call him Ed as Angela had introduced him—looked up and laughed loudly.
"Edward, right?" he said, shaking my Edward's hand and gesturing for him to take the empty seat next to him. My Edward, Bella? Really? My Edward nodded gleefully and tugged on our still-intertwined hands, so that I was resting of the wide arm of the comfortable chair. "You've got to be a good kid with a name like that."
My Edward smirked and leaned forward, as if he were telling some top secret. "I'm kind of a dick, actually."
I was completely appalled at Edward's brash and rude behavior, but Edward Norton burst into laughter again. "Oh, man. You're going to fit in perfectly here, then. How old are you, kid?"
"Uh, twenty-five. Why, how old are you?"
From there, the night sped along in a whirl. I was having a complete out-of-body experience. Or maybe it was all the wine that kept being shoved into my hand, but I couldn't believe what was happening. The two Edwards, as Jeremy and Brad were now referring to them, got along perfectly. They shared anecdotes of their families, their times at school, movie ideas, even a story of how I'd claimed Edward Norton was the best actor of our generation. I blushed furiously at that one, but Edward handled it perfectly. He was schmoozing better than I could have possibly imagined. Even when dinner was ready, we simply went through the buffet and came back to our little secluded corner. It was unreal. But the most amazing part of the evening was listening to Edward talk about me. I knew it was most likely part of his groveling, but it made my stomach flutter hearing him talk about how driven I was and how he knew I was going to be successful just by seeing and nurturing my creativity at age fourteen. It may have been the fact that I was sitting with two of my movie idols, but I couldn't stop smiling the entire night. My resolve had nearly disappeared.
By the time the evening was coming to a close, I realized that I may have had a little too much to drink. I was flushed and fuzzy and sleepy from tryptophan.
We said our goodbyes, and I received hugs from both Ed and Brad before Edward and I headed back out to the car. The cool breeze whipped through my hair, and I couldn't contain the giggles that spilled forward.
"Hey, are you okay?" Edward asked, far too cautiously.
"I'm great," I replied, giddy. "You were great. Oh my God, Edward, you were great!"
"Okay." He laughed and pulled the keys from my hand. "I think maybe I should drive home."
The drive was quiet. We drove with no soundtrack and the windows cracked open, letting the sea breeze drift into the car. It was peaceful and calm, and for the first time in three months, I was happy.
Next thing I knew, Edward was shaking me awake. We'd arrived back at my dorm.
"Hey." I smiled. I loved seeing him first thing when I woke up.
"Hey, can you get up to your room alright, or do you want me to help you?"
It was so wrong, but I was going to play it up, despite being mostly sober. With my most innocent pout, I lifted my arms and asked for help. Laughing, and assuming I was drunk, Edward carried me from the truck and up into my dorm room. When we got there, he dumped me on my bed, chuckling. "Jeez, Bella, I think I'm a whole lot weaker than I was this summer because that was really fucking hard."
"What's hard?" I asked coyly as I "accidentally" brushed against his crotch.
He jumped back, nearly halfway across the room, and screeched out a strangled, "Bella!" before I burst into a fit of giggles.
"You're different," I said sleepily. "But you're also the same."
"And on that note, I think it's time to say goodnight." He shook his head and leaned down to kiss my forehead before turning to go. My stomach jolted when I realized he was going to leave, and I grabbed for his hand before he could get too far.
"Don't go, please?" I asked quietly.
"Of course," he whispered.
"I should change," I said suddenly, and I hopped off the bed to scrounge through my closet. My dress came off quickly and was replaced with a wife beater and sweats. I turned around to see Edward staring at the floor awkwardly, his cheeks and ears tinted pink with embarrassment. "Do you have anything?"
He looked up, surprised. "Uh, I have a t-shirt and boxers underneath. Is that, um, okay?" He fidgeted uncomfortably, and I smiled and nodded, loving the power I was currently holding. He was being cautious, but not in the way he used to be. No, he was sure of what he wanted, but he was waiting for me to give the word.
I watched him strip down, removing his jacket, tie and shoes first before losing his dress shirt and pants. He walked towards Renata's bed, and I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing.
"I just assumed that…" He trailed off uncomfortably. "I didn't think that friends slept in the same bed together."
"We did during pre-camp."
Sufficiently pleased, Edward climbed into the bed behind me, his back pressed against the wall. I rolled into him, forcing him onto his back, and placed my cheek on top of his heart. It beat loudly in my ear, and I sighed. This was where I belonged.
"Bella?" he asked with trepidation.
"What made you change your mind, Edward? You were so confident tonight, so self-assured. You're different."
"Seth," he replied. That shocked me to the core. I glanced up, and he was smirking down at me. "Yeah, Seth. He sent me a letter that kicked my ass harder than Jake had. He's actually a pretty nice guy."
"I could have told you that," I grumbled. Edward soothed me by running his fingers down my back, tracing patterns along my thin shirt.
"You did, actually. And I didn't listen because I'm a fucking moron, Bella. You're so smart, and even though I heard you, I never really listened."
I rolled over more, propping myself up on his chest so I could look into Edward's eyes as he rambled.
"I still think you deserve so much more than me, Bella. I don't even have any grand fucking gesture for you. You'd think I'd have learned since it's in like every romantic comedy that ever existed. And believe me, I've seen my fair share of them, especially with two older sisters. I know I'm supposed to win you back by sneaking into the theater here and playing Say Anything or sell your script to an agent and have you wake up with millions in your bank account." I rolled my eyes, but my heart was warming at his words. "Even me moving out to Los Angeles can't count as a grand gesture because I did it for me. Because I want to be in the film industry, and I want to be a successful filmmaker. And, yeah, having you here is a huge fucking perk because I don't want to have a life where I can't be with you, but—"
I'd heard all I needed. I held my finger to his lips, shushing him. "Edward," I whispered. His eyes widened, flicking rapidly between my finger and my eyes, making him look like a crazy person. "Shut up."
With a small smile, I leaned forward and kissed him. It was slow and careful, but it was us. We were slow and careful—to a fault, most of the time. It was time to deviate from our pattern. We both needed to jump in head first and stop living in our heads. I let my tongue snake out and Edward welcomed it, deepening the kiss immediately. He gripped my waist tightly, pushing me back into the mattress so that he could hover above me. Our bodies fit together perfectly, starting with our lips and ending with our feet, which were happily intertwined.
My body wanted more, but we both kept things very PG-13. His hands never strayed below my waist, and his mouth never left mine. It was the perfect reunion scene to our film. I could practically see the camera circling above us and zooming out in a carefully crafted crane shot. The thought made me giggle, causing Edward to break away with a questioning look.
I crinkled my nose and smiled cheekily. He didn't need to know that I was imagining being filmed. That would only give him ideas that I wasn't quite ready to delve into…yet.
With a sigh, Edward collapsed next to me and pulled me to my spot on his chest.
"I love you, Bella," he murmured reverently.
"I know." I believed him.
"I missed you." His voice was sad, and tears unexpectedly pricked at my eyes.
"It took you a really long time to figure that out, Edward," I whispered, still reeling from the pain he'd caused me.
"Next time I won't take as long, I promise."
"Next time?" I sat up in a sudden fit, raising my voice. "Next time? There won't be a next time, Edward. You got it?"
"There won't." He laughed, and I realized that he'd been making a really bad joke. In true Edward fashion. "There won't," he repeated solemnly.
"Good." I sighed and sank back onto his chest. There was a pregnant pause before Edward spoke up again.
"Are you going to say it back?"
"Not yet." I'd decided that on the spot. It didn't feel right. I'd make him wait it out. I needed to protect my heart because as much as I wanted to believe him, I needed his actions to prove he wouldn't break me again. "You're going to have to work for it," I said, quoting Rosalie.
"It's going to be a long winter for me, isn't it?" He chuckled and kissed the top of my head, warming me completely. I couldn't resist the silly smile that spread across my face.
"Not as long as the past five summers were for me, I'm sure," I scoffed.
"Fair enough," he said with a yawn, spurring mine on as well.
"But I can try."
Smiling, we both fell asleep, together as we were meant to be, with thoughts of an equally long winter swirling in our heads.
Chapter End Notes: There you have it, folks. Epilogue to come soon. I'll leave my snotsobbing AN until then. Just know I have loved being able to take you on this journey with me, and I cherish all the friendships I've made along the way. You are all simply incredible.
xo, lexiecullen17