Lie; a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
'The leaves of memory seemed to make
A mournful rustling in the dark.'
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Chapter 11 - Old Memories VS False Truths
Kelly sat in silence at Tim's inside his bedroom, staring at the pictures hanging on the wall. She glanced at them. As she did so, she noticed one in particular. She got up and walked closer to it. Every step closer she took, the more she recognized the picture.
Then she realized what it was. Her, Tim, and Nadine. Kelly didn't even know the picture existed. But who took it? Kelly sighed. No one she knew was back yet. Kelly hadn't bothered to say much. The events of what took place during the night were hell enough. She didn't feel like reliving them.
Another sigh escaped her mouth as she returned to the bed and laid down. Kelly wondered is she could have stopped Tim from leaving. 'Is it my fault he left? Did I make him leave?'
As Kelly laid there, she slowly began to cry. She had never felt so alone. Never. And she hated the feeling. She didn't like it at all. Kelly began to feel as though she were in a cold and dark place, left all alone to die. Kelly wondered if maybe her time had come. She wondered if she would soon die.
Jackie's eyes twitched in her sleep. As she woke up from her deep sleep, she yawned and stretched. She loked around and noticed Kelly was nowhere in sight. Jackie sighed and stood up, stretching once again.
Jackie began wondering if maybe Kelly hadn't returned at all and that maybe she never would. The thought that Kelly might not return was not in anyway comforting. Jackie sighed. What would she do if Kelly didn't return? Maybe Kelly didn't want to return.
Jackie shook her head. She looked around at the others and sighed. Nadine stirred in her sleep and her eyes opened. Jackie closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
"It's no use pretending you're asleep," Nadine mumbled and sat up. She then stood up, "You aren't the only one who's worried about her," Nadine walked to the stairs and went up. Jackie ignored her and kept her eyes closed.
As Nadine walked upstairs, she heard a noise. Nadine blinked. She noticed the closed door and walked up to it. She rested her head sideways against it and listened. She heard what sounded like sniffling. Nadine stood up straight and sighed. She opened up the door quietly.
Kelly was laying down on the bed. Her head had looked up. What little light that had come in from behind Nadine shone on Kelly. Her face was drenched with tears and her eyes were swollen. Kelly looked shocked that someone she knew was there.
Nadine made her way over to Kelly, "Awww, hun." She sat down beside Kelly as Kelly sat up. Kelly sat on her knees. Nadine stared at her for the longest time, then said, "What happened?"
Kelly began to cry again, except this time she sobbed. She fell forward and rested her head in Nadine's lap, "I don't know what to do!" Nadine put her hand on Kelly's and gently stroked her hair. "I wanted to kill him, but the words he spoke to me. They seemed so real. And he kissed me, Nadine!"
Jackie listened from outside of the bedroom. Nadine knew she was there, but she chose not to say anything.
"He.. He gets me," Kelly began sobbing again, "And.. A-All I can think a-about is Luke.. and how he s-s-sacrificed everything for me! And now I am screwing up what he sacrificed everything for!" Kelly sniffled.
"You aren't screwing anything up, Kelly. You haven't done anything wrong. He has, not you," Nadine spoke softly. Kelly found it oddly soothing and comforting to her. "Do you think Luke would you want to feel this way?"
'Yes.'
Kelly heard inside her head.
"Sorry, what?" Kelly asked.
"Are you okay, Kelly?" Nadine wondered.
'No one believes in you.'
Kelly's mind began to wander, "What?"
"Kelly?" Nadine watched her carefully.
'They all hate you.'
'They wish you to be dead.'
'You don't belong.'
"SHUT UP!" Kelly suddenly screamed. Nadine jumped, so did Jackie. Kelly's eyes widened and she looked at Nadine as she sat up.
"Are you okay?" Nadine repeated.
"Sorry... I'm fine now. Just zoned out," Kelly faked a smile. Jackie frowned from outside the room.
Andy's eyes were open now. He flung up from the chair, standing up straight. He looked around, noticing he was alone. Suddenly, Andy fell to the floor. His legs had given out. Andy didn't feel any pain, just loneliness and pain inside himself.
"What is it?" Andy asked the empty room. No response. Andy then thought of Kelly and got up, heading to the stairs. He heard voices upstairs and went up them. He got to the open room and walked passed Jackie, entering Tim's room. "So.. You are back," Andy stated. Kelly looked at Andy, then back to Nadine.
'None of them truly care.'
"So, are you okay then?" Andy asked.
'He doesn't care.'
"Yeah. I'm fine. No worries," Kelly laughed.
"You sure?" Nadine sighed somewhat.
"Guys, I'm fine!"
'What about him?'
Kelly noticed that Jackie was not present.
'What about Ryan?'
"Where's Jackie?" Kelly suddenly asked.
'Do you love him already?!'
Jackie stepped into the room, "Right here. How you holding up?"
Kelly smiled, "Peppy."
'He's waiting for you. Go to him.'
"No," Kelly said. Everyone looked at her, confused.
'Go to him.'
"No," Kelly repeated.
'Your lust is agitating.'
"Deal with it," Kelly frowned.
"Kelly?" Jackie looked over at Nadine. Both Nadine and Andy shrugged. Jackie watched Kelly carefully now.
'I am. Go to him. Be with him.'
'You desire him.'
'Lust for him.'
"No."
'Yes. He's inside you.'
Jackie began to grow worried. So did the others.
'You know what you want.'
Nadine stood directly in front of Kelly, "Hey! Snap out of it!" She snapped her fingers in front of Kelly's face, trying to grab her attention.
'Why do you deny what you seek?'
"Because it doesn't make any sense," Kelly mumbled.
'It doesn't have to.'
Kelly's eyes shut tightly. Andy grew frustrated and walked to the doorway and flicked the lights on. Kelly jumped and looked around. Nadine stared at Kelly, slightly confused. But Nadine had an idea of what has just taken place.
Jackie hadn't spoken. There was nothing to say. She knew that Kelly would not reveal what had just happened. Kelly was like that. Andy could see the look on Jackie's face and he immediately understood.
"What happened?" Kelly asked, "Why are you all staring at me like that?!" Kelly stood up. Jackie watched, so did Andy.
"You zoned out, Kelly. Was she talking to you?" Nadine began moving closer to Kelly after she stood up.
"What are you talking about? No one talked to me," Kelly defended.
"I want to help you, Kelly," Nadine pladed as she touched Kelly's shoulder.
"BACK OFF, NADINE!" Nadine flew backwards and her back smashed against the wall. Kelly's eyes grew wide, "Oh my god. Did I just do that?" Kelly looekd down at her hands, then up at everyone else.
Nadine stood up, "Kelly, please."
Kelly frowned, "I have to go." She walked passed Andy and Jackie and walked downstairs. Everyone jumped when they heard the door slam.
Jackie looked over at Nadine, "Way to go."
"Shut up. It isn't like you made any attempt to stop her," Andy snapped at her. Nadine stared at Andy.
"You shouldn't be talking, Andy, because neither did you," Jackie replied. Nadine just walked out the room, limping somewhat. Andy followed, leaving Jackie by herself in Tim's room.
Kelly walked around, thinking to herself. She was shocked by the power she had. But why couldn't she remember anything? Kelly sighed. As she continued thinking, she thought about Ryan. She thought about when he kissed her. She thought about it all. Raven. Ryan. Raven. Ryan.
Kelly frowned, "This is so stupid! He nearly killed Tim and did something to Jackie!" Kelly cried out. She fell to her knees, "So why do I feel these things for that monster?"
'Because he still likes you.'
"No, not you. Go away," Kelly whined.
'He knows you're a monster.'
'But he loves you.'
"You're the monster!" Kelly yelled. Kelly was so distracted with Faith, she didn't notice the truck coming straight at her.
'You should get up, Kelly.'
"Why? So I can go to him?" Kelly stood up, "WHILE I'M NOT GOIN-" Kelly felt the wind get knocked out of her as she was tackled to the ground. Her eyes glanced up as the truck went wizzing by. Kelly's face turned pale and she began shivering. Kelly had almost been splattered all over the ground and hood of the truck. But who saved her?"
"Holy shit! That was close!" Kelly looked at who spoke. It was Ryan, "What the hell were you doing?! Trying to commit suicide?!" Kelly just began crying. Ryan's eyes grew wide, "No! No! I'm sorry! Don't cry!" he began to feel like crap.
"It isn't you," Kelly cried.
"It's not?" Ryan sounded surprised.
Kelly sniffled, "I'm sorry."
'Do it, Kelly.'
'You want too.'
Ryan looked at Kelly curiously as she got on her knees. She stared at Ryan for the longest time, "Why?" Kelly asked out loud.
"Why what?" Ryan asked, getting nervous, "Why did I save you?"
"Shhh," Kelly hissed.
"Okay," Ryan replied. Kelly leaned over and kissed him softly. Ryan's eyes grew wide and he kissed her back. As the two kissed, Ryan wrapped his arms around Kelly. As Kelly felt his arms wrap around her, she pushed him off.
"What am I doing?" Kelly asked herself.
'Accepting. You feel whole inside.'
"I don't know, but I've got to admit. You've got me confused," Ryan began feeling overwhelmed.
'You want him.'
Kelly grabbed her head. Ryan jumped slightly, "Kelly?" She began to cry again. Ryan did the only thing that made sense. He hugged her. Kelly continued crying. Neither of them knew why she was. Kelly realized she liked being in Ryan's arms. She liked the way he seemed to care. It was nice. Her crying began to subside. Kelly's arms found their way around Ryan and hugged him tightly.
Nadine sat down on the couch downstairs, Andy following. He sat down next to Nadine, "Are you okay?"
Nadine looked at him, "Fine. I've taken worse."
"How.. exactly do you know, Kelly? You seemed to recognize what was happening up there better than Jackie or myself," Andy slumped back into the couch.
"We were brought up, when we were little, together. I was a shy girl who was really smart. Kelly was a loner who was extremely gifted. But I always knew," Nadine leaned forward, "I always knew there was something off about her.
"Kelly was the type who hated having friends. But she wasn't always like that. It was after her dad died. But her background still didn't make any sense.
"Kelly was the type who loved helping others. She loved being around people. Kelly saw me, a girl who had no one and nothing. She approached me one day with a smile and open arms. So, of course, we began hanging out. Kelly was always happy around me, and then it happened. She stopped coming. And when she did come, she was messed up. Kelly wasn't the Kelly I knew anymore. But I found out what changed her. The images were always in her eyes. I saw them, her dad dying, everything," Nadine sighed.
"Kelly..." Andy said silently.
"Then, one day, she just up and left. For seven years no one knew where she was. Not even me. Some of the workers said she moved in with a relative. Others said she ran off because someone was after her. But after seven years, she visited me. She was distraught and she was covered in blood.
"That was when she started telling me about someone she had met in her dreams. A beautiful, yet angry, woman. Kelly had drawn pictures of her. She became obsessed. And the blood. It belonged to herself, and it worried me even more.
"Faith was a demon. She is a demon. Kelly told me she had great power she wanted to share. I told Kelly to lock her away, but Kelly didn't listen right away. But after Faith started giving her nightmares, Kelly locked her away. And I helped her," Nadine closed her eyes.
"Sounds familiar," Andy admitted. Nadine opened her eyes and looked at him curiously. "Oh.. Sorry.. I just know what it's like. My ex.. Sarah. She... About me."
"It's okay. I can see it in your eyes," Nadine then looked away, "But.. Kelly.. She stayed with me for a while. Then, one day, I woke up, and she was gone. There was a note. I just accepted she had moved on. She left an address on the note, but I never visited. She had a lover, and that's who she had begun to live with after moving out. His name was Matt. She didn't mind him. Infact, she really liked him from what I could tell," Nadine sniffled. Andy noticed a tear fall down her cheek. "Kelly was like the sister I never had, and the fact that I could never tell her everything I just told you was a lie hurts so much."
"What?!" Andy snapped, "What the hell do you mean?!"
"I was chosen to protect her. Her whole childhood was a lie. None of it happened. But it feels so real! Kelly isn't real, Andy. She's a road block for Faith! Kelly is the thing that protects the truth. Kelly's so called "dad" is real, though. Matt is real. The blood drenched Kelly showing up is reall. It's when we... grew up that isn't real. Kelly was created by a needle injection. A personality breaker. Raven is a part of the mix too. All of it is.
"Kelly thinks her dad's name is Luke Messiah, but it's really Wiccer Messiah, Wiccer Messiah Redonel. A demon at heart. He's a brilliant man, but he has too much pride. Kelly is just a failed experiment to him. Wait, no, Kelly is a success. Faith is the failed one," Nadine rested her head into her hands.
"So, basically.. You know where her father, no, creator, is? You know what to expect with Kelly?.. What's funny is you consider yourself a true friend, yet you are still sitting here," Andy looked at Jackie, shocked.
"Pretty much," Nadine sighed. "Wiccer thinks he can use Raven, or Ryan, to lure Faith out. If Kelly's threatened, Faith appears subconciously."
"Then.. Why are we still sitting here?" Andy commented.
"Because we love her too much to admit the truth, and we all know Ryan is falling in love with her. At least, Jackie and I do. We can feel him. I can see it in him. Jackie, you can feel him, can't you?" Jackie frowned. Andy looked at her wide-eyed.
"How did you know that?" Jackie snapped.
"Because, he tainted you," Nadine growled.
"Shut up!" Jackie turned away. Andy stood up, completely confused.
"What the hell?! This is no time for grudges! Kelly is in danger, is she not?!" Andy whined. Jackie and Nadine both looked at him. Jackie and Andy then looked at Nadine. She shook her head no, "Then what?!" Andy grew even more confused and frustrated.
"I can feel Kelly inside me. We're connected specifically. She's fine, though. She's with Ryan, but she's fine," Nadine looked away.
Kelly let go of Ryan and looked at him. Ryan smiled somewhat at her. Kelly only looked away, she couldn't smile. She felt more embarassed than anything. Kelly didn't know what to say to him but, "Thanks."
Ryan blinked, "Uh.. Y-You're welcome?"
Kelly stared at Ryan for a while, then words began spilling from her mouth, "Why do you make me feel this way?" Kelly looked away for a moment, then looked back. Ryan's face had turned a pinkish colour. He didn't know what to say now either, "Why do I like you? It doesn't make any sense!" Kelly frowned.
"Does it really matter?" Ryan finally said, "Does it really matter whether or not you can comprehend your feelings towards me? Can't you just accept them?" Kelly blinked. "Why does there have to be a reason for everything? Can't it just.. be?"
"Ryan..."
"Who cares about our past? This is the present, so.. Stay in the present!" Ryan grabbed hold of both of Kelly's hands, "Stay here with me." Kelly blushed. That was one thing she really liked about him. He had a way with words. Ryan stared into Kelly's eyes, waiting for some kind of response. He looked down when he felt Kelly's hands take hold of his. He looked back up at her. Kelly was still looking at him. Ryan leaned over and kissed Kelly. Kelly smiled a bit and kissed him back.
"Hold on," Andy started, "You're saying you can feel her? Like.. You know how she is, where she is, who she is with?"
"Pretty much," Nadine looked at Jackie," How's your arm? Does it hurt?"
Andy sighed, "And Jackie can feel Raven? Or Ryan?"
"Both," Jackie said.
"We don't need to worr-" Nadine was cut off.
"YES WE DO!" Andy yelled. Jackie looked at him, shocked, "I know nothing about what is going on with you and Kelly, or you two. It's hard to piece this puzzled together, and knowing my bestfriend is threatened by even more things I knew nothing about... It's agitating!" Andy frowned.
"I know how you-" Jackie was also cut off.
"Don't you tell me you know how I feel!" Andy cried out, "But Nadine, there's still one thing we don't know. Why is Faith not allowed to come out?" Jackie's eyes narrowed and she looked at Nadine.
"I don't know either, and even if I did know, it still doesn't explain anything about Faith's past," Nadine looked down.
"You're hiding something, aren't you?" Jackie walked up to Nadine and grabbed a hold of her shirt. She lifted her into the air. Nadine didn't resist, just accepted.
"Jackie!" Andy stood up immediately.
"I..." Nadine attempted to get out, "I know.. Faith's daugjer!"
"Dogger?" Andy blinked.
"Jackie dropped her to the ground, "Daughter."
Andy looked down at Nadine. She quickly spoke, "But she's insignificant to this!"
"Are you kidding me!?" Jackie laughed, "She'll know more than you!"
"She knows nothing. Her memories were wiped clean by Wiccer!" Nadine said.
"Then we'll find another way. Where does she live?" Andy frowned again.
Nadine looked at Andy in the eyes, "With me."