Chapter 5:
Graystripe; Because every superkitty needs a useless side-kick to make them look better!
Gray- wait, who?
You know, Graystripe, the random fat sidekick that does all the work and gets none of the credit. That Graystripe.
There, now that I've refreshed your memories, we'll begin.
The world has never seemed to have been very kind to dear Graystripe. Throughout the entire Warriors series he's been nearly drowned on several occasions, been the unfortunate recipient of not one but two half baked FORBIDDEN LOVE scenarios, been forced to switch clans twice and receiving the spite and resentment of all clans in the process, lost both his first born kits to a different clan and in later cases death and relocation, been captured by twolegs, and stripped of his deputy ranking.
Of course, all of this was on top of helping defeat Brokenstar, saving Ravenpaw from certain death, saving WindClan and RiverClan, surviving through a fire and a dog attack, and dealing with all of the emotional stress that Firepaw/heart/star dumps on him because HE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
However, none of this seems to matter at all because he's just the lackey sidekick and that's his job! And what does he get in return for doing all the work and getting none of the credit? The answer is nothing. Nope. Zip. Nada. Squat. Oh, I think you all get the picture.
So, what exactly is it about Graystripe that people don't care about? What makes him so easy to take advantage of?
Well, to start with, let's take a look into the deep, emotional, secret and private life of Graystripe, get it all open and put it up for the entire world to see, violating all personal rights he has remaining!
The Role of Sidekick
Alright, we all know that, as much as Firestar lovers will deny it, there really wouldn't be much of a first arc if it wasn't for Graystripe. I mean, sure, Firepaw was the awesome not-Mary Sue super hero with a prophecy breathing down his neck, but who was the one that nearly killed him the first time he wondered too far into the forest and inspired him to join Thunderclan?
GRAYSTRIPE!
When Firepaw decided to tear apart innocent Tigerclaw's reputation just because he was more gangsta than him, who was there to tell him he was a paranoid, jealous freak?
GRAYSTRIPE!
When Firepaw decided to singlehandedly storm the ShadowClan camp for breaking the warrior code, who was there to make sure he didn't die?
GRAYPSTRIPE!
When Fireheart was made a warrior, who was also made a warrior but no one cared because he didn't count for squat?
GRA- wait, who were we talking about again….
Okay, folks, I think you get the picture. Graystrop (I think that was his name…) gets a lot of crap and no credit. But hey, that's not to say that his role as sidekick doesn't have its rewards, right? I mean, it could always be worse…
EXAMPLES:
1)He could have just turned out to be one of those side characters that don't get any role in the plotline what so ever until they randomly die at a young age and make everyone feel sorry for them (HONEYFERN!)
2) Gorsop (is that it?) could have ended up as one of those schizophrenic types that randomly switch clans for no apparent reason, or go loner/rouge/tribe cat just cause they get bored and want attention. (STORMFUR!)
3) Grelstrap might have been turned out to be one of those code freaks, annoyed everyone to death with his love of the WARRIOR FREAKING CODE, been a complete hypocrite, had OREO syndrome, then randomly died in a tunnel cave in after exposing devastating secrets at a clan meeting. (HOLLY-FREAKING -LEAF!)
Anyway, seeing all of the above options Glowstaple had to choose from, is it really a wonder that he simply chose sidekick? At least that way he gets some role of mild interest in the plotline and gets his own 'manga' series.
Fireproof
Probably the most difficult things that Gripstol has to deal with throughout the entire Warriors series is the job that is so gruesome and horrible that it could make even Tigerstar crawl into a corner and weep openly:
Dealing with Firestar's ego.
May StarClan have mercy on your soul Gaysloo, may StarClan have mercy on your soul.
Since day one of the first Warriors book, Glarpaw was forcibly paired with Firepaw as his sidekick and supposed 'friend', when we all really knew that he was only in on the job because the Erin Hunters had made him an offer he couldn't refuse (cue The Godfather theme music)
Seeing this horrible fate that would certainly befall him if this evil plotline was allowed to commence, Gloppaw came up with a wonderful plan to assassinate the future ThunderClan hero and cease all progressing before they could commence.
This plan is put into play in one of the first chapters of Into the Wild when Grerpaw attacks young Rusty in an ingenious attempt to kill him before the stupid kittypet can ruin his life and force him into a doomed, overshadowed existence. Unfortunately, Bluestar intervenes and the plotline is allowed to commence.
DARN YOU BLUESTAR! NO WONDER NO ONE CRIED WHEN YOU DIED!
From then on, it was all downhill from there.
As Firepaw gained power and recognition in the clan, not only did Grapplepaw lose his, but he also was forced into putting up with Firepaw/heart's inflating head while maintaining the 'beast friend' façade, all the while still attempting the young hero's downfall and cleverly framing Tigerclaw seeing how Firepaw hated him anyway.
At first, it really wasn't all that bad. After all, he did have his accomplice Ravenpaw to share the spite and stress with… until the little bugger crumbled under the head exploding ego fuzzball that was Firepaw, and ran away to become a loner. Little traitor…
Now, not only was Grawswat forced to endure head busting ego exposure, now he was also forced to embark on insane and just plain stupid journeys that the demon Fireheart thought up just to make himself look better: Helping EVERYBODY!
Anyway, so, after the betrayal of his only ally, Gwelsylp is forced to deal with the pressure on his own, and must find some other way to take out his spite besides dumping on Ravenpaw.
FORBIDDEN LOVE: Results may vary…
In Fire and Ice, Groutswet finds a new way to distract himself from his angst. You guessed it: FORBIDDEN LOVE!
While stuck training his new apprentice (of course with Fireheart; apparently that idiot can't do anything on his own) Gluestrin finally goes overboard and decides that suicide would be a whole lot better than living around this egotistic tom for a moment more and, in a feigned attempt to stop Cinderpaw (yes Fireheart's apprentice) from trespassing on RiverClan territory since her mentor is too good to do it himself, Groggleso tries to drown himself in the river.
It probably would have worked to, but the Erin Hunters just weren't going to let him out of his sentencing that easily.
Enter Warriors FORBIDDEN LOVE attempt number two.
Instead of drowning peacefully, Glopslop was rescued by a Riverclan warrior, Silverstream. Coincidentally, they fell in love on the spot. Seriously. In a matter of only a few chapters they're already meeting in secret. COME ON! It took even Bluestar at least half a freaking five hundred page novel to even realize she liked an enemy warrior! It took freaking CROWFEATHER an entire book to realize he was in love with Feathertail and another two till he admitted he liked Leafpool! Clearly there is something wrong with these perverted warriors!
Anyway, thus begins the love story of SilverXGoy, the first successful pairing in the series. Actually, besides being incredibly rushed and the result of a suicide attempt, this pairing isn't that bad. In a way, it showed us an entirely new side of Grooslop, a more rebellious, and yet at the same time calmer side. It also seemed to make Grippersline happy and actually managed to keep that annoying egocentric Fireheart away for a while.
Of course, then there was the detail where the relationship nearly ruined his relationship with his clanmates, distracted him from his duties, made him dump his apprentice as egotistical Fireheart's problem (REVENGE!) and in the end broke his heart when Silverstream died a tragic death while giving birth to his kits which nearly caused a war with RiverClan.
Despite all of the angst and heartbreak it all ended in, the ordeal gave Glorntip the most promising opportunity of a lifetime. Using the excuse that he needed to be with his kits, Gloppinto leaves ThunderClan and joins RiverClan, FINALLY escaping that maniac Fireheart.
Or, so he thinks…
FREEDOM: It Was Never Meant to be
Unfortunately, Glunstro's freedom ends after only two books, and the Erin Hunters make him another offer he can't refuse. He must rejoin ThunderClan. You would think that it couldn't get any worse than that, right?
WRONG!
Fireheart, it turns out, is now clan deputy (STARCLAN WHY!) and also Tigerstar is out for revenge since Fireheart had blamed him for all of Gloontrop's murder attempts. Oops. So now, Grocklepuff is caught in the middle of all this stress and on top of all else his kits are still in RiverClan. Is it any wonder why this guy hates Fireheart?
It all comes to a head in The Darkest Hour, and Firestar, complete with a newly inflated ego gets everything he ever dreamed of (leadership, a mate in his own clan, and the love of millions) and Gwapstopa gets nada. Nope. Nothing.
In fact instead of being rewarded for his bravery, dedication, and putting up with the impossible, Gloppensmurf is stuck with yet another torturous job: deputy.
That's right folks, not only does this guy now have to put up with Firestar every moment of his waking life, he now as to deal with everyone else's crap too. Thanks a lot Erin Hunter, THANKS A LOT!
Nothing Happens
Okay folks, take a look at the subheading for this section. Why on Earth would I put a boring title like that? Surely it would insure tedium and boring events that lead to absolutely nothing and would therefore be pointless to even mention?
Well people, that's exactly why I posted it, because, after the end of the first Warriors arc, that's exactly happens to our unimportant little friend Gasslip. Nothing. Absolutely freaking nothing!
For the next three consecutive books, we hear almost nothing about Grasslump except in passing conversation maybe. The Erin Hunters either forgot about him, or he found a temporary loophole in their lifelong contract they made him sign. Either way, for a while there, it actually seemed as if he might have found happiness….
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah, right…
Halfway through the second arc, the Erin Hunters seem to get bored with Glipensmurf's role and decide to throw him yet another hurdle. So, he's captured by twolegs.
…Wow, really? On top of all else, really? Well Erin Hunter, I think that you've made it quite clear that Glimmerswet had a very suckish life.
Now, you might be thinking that ThunderClan was devastated by the loss of their loyal deputy and friend. Well, stop straining yourself and stop thinking, because you are completely WRONG! While there is mild sorrow and concern, the clan moves on and abandon's their territory to go find a new one, destroying any hope that Grimstreaker has of finding them. Wow. Betrayal much? Even Firestar doesn't really care. I mean, sure, he's depressed for a while, but that's only because he's lost his own emotional punching bag. I think that would make you a little glum too.
Completely alone, Grummpysim spends several moons living as a kittypet, longing for his forest home…
Wait, what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's back up for just a second here! A few moons? Okay, a few days or weeks I can understand, but moons? What the heck? Did he never once consider just leaving? Seriously? He's not exactly chained to a wall. Why can't he just, oh I don't know, walk around the suburb for a while till he finds the way out? Isn't that how Scourge found his way around when he was a kit? Sheesh, and I thought that Firestar was an idiot.
So anyway, moons later, Glumsir finally finds his way out of the twoleg place. But wait, why would he suddenly leave now?
Answer: Millie.
Shortly after being introduced to the life as a kittypet, Ghastson meets a kittypet she-cat that lives near him named Millie that seems to always be around. Trying to be optimistic, he marks it off as simple friendliness. But, eventually, he begins to see this as it truly is.
MILLIE IS A STALKER!
So, overwhelmed by the she-cat's obsessive stalking, Gffeldorsel flees the twoleg place and embarks on an epic journey to find his clan, just like he could have the entire time. That's right, screw kittypets! Even putting up with Firestar was better than that little stalker.
Unfortunately, Millie is such a dedicated little stalker person that she follows him all the way from the twoleg place to the new lake territory. Eventually, the two end up becoming mates, because Glimmberstick realizes that he's never going to be able to shake that annoyance and decides that, at least this way he will have an excuse to be angsty.
Of course, when the two arrive in the new territory, they are met by much shock and many surprises. Apparently Firestar's babies had demented babies, and everyone was happy and well.
However, there was one pressing detail that somehow managed to overshadow all others and proved to Grwelksly that there really was a StarClan.
As it turned out, Firestar was too needy to wait for him and had found a new punching bag: BRAMBLECLAW!
Garysty was officially free of his horrible duties, and the mental reign of terror over his life seemed to be over. Of course there was also the fact that the love of his life was dead, his daughter was dead, his son left to join the Tribe of Rushing Water (whoever the heck they were) and now the fate of the world was in the paws of three demented kits, and on top of all else he had to pretend to be mates with a stalker. BUT HE WAS FREE FOR STARCLAN's SAKE!
FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!
Oh, wait no, it turns out that Millie's pregnant.
*Facepalm* SO FREKAING CLOSE!
Where is He Now?
So, let us reflect on what we have learned here today about dear Grufflesquee.
Folks, this is a cat who is emotionally disturbed, angsting constantly, a loose cannon, a trained assassin and over all doesn't count for squat.
He's been there for the entire series and, even though he should be ancient by Warriors standards (seriously, he's lived longer that the life span of both Sunstar and Bluestar and has been around for all of Firestar's lives), he's taken more crap than any other character.
And you know what, none of us give a #$% either.
*Ahem*
Graystripe's role in the series is a minute one in any case, and the most tedious and mind numbing one any of us could ever imagine. But hey, someone's got to do it right? It's not that no one cares about him, it's just that… well, actually, yeah; no one cares about him.
Well Graystripe, we all give you our sincerest of sympathy…
NOW SUCK IT UP AND LIVE WITH IT!
Hope this is enough to satisfy you guys till I have a chance to update again. For once, I've thought ahead and know exactly what I'm doing for next chapter:
Alright folks, here's the deal. Every sixth chapter I'm going to do things a little differently. Instead of just doing a single character, chapters six, twelve, twenty-four and so on will be about anything you guys want it to be about. That's right, anything that has to do with Warriors, be it a pairing, a book, an arc, a clan, you get the point.
I already know what I'm doing for this special chapter, but please feel free to go ahead and start suggesting for future ones.