My eyes flicker around the clearing as I search desperately for the certain tom of ThunderClan. I have missed everything about him from the moment we parted, and all I want is to see him again.

I think I love him.

There!!

I spot his gleaming gaze on me, and I smile dreamily as my eyes travel across his short tabby pelt. I want to run over to him and make him say that he loves me. Make him say it a thousand times. StarClan, I never knew I could feel this way. Just the sight of him sends shivers down my spine and makes every hair on my body bristle in anticipation.

Antcipation?

Why should I expect him to do anything for me? I, who turned him away when his feelings(?) for me were strongest; no, I said, "Not yet"; and truly I rue it. The apprentice, he has been able to do naught but whisper sweet nothings into my ear. He means nothing; he was only playing. Just like Oakpaw.

I want to turn away from that time about Oakpaw and move on. With him, I thought I had. Now I am having so many doubts. If I have lost him, it is truly my own fault.

Again his eyes meet mine. I wish I had cast my gaze downward; I do not deserve him; why should he love me? My mentor Smokefoot calls. (a/n I made a mistake in the last chapter, she is a warrior apprentice, not a medicine cat) I disregard this and instead dwell on the bolt of emotion that struck me when that cat met my wistful eyes. He only looked at me, and I at him, when bam. It felt exactly as though an electric bolt had ripped through my fur and has left me standing here, motionless, unable to do anything but love a cat so strictly forbidden from me that it makes my heart ache. I can only love him, and love is the most painful thing I know of. That I shall ever know of. I want to shriek the truth across the clearing. I love you!!

Of course I knew this was love. Realization never needed to come; I only needed to accept my fate. Like I would honestly lie next to a cat from an enemy Clan and whisper 'I love you' into the night, over and over again, unless it was true. I may, technically, still be on the rebound from Oakpaw's cruel ways, but you are not a playtoy, or a joke. You are the desire of my heart. I remember the sweeping feel of your whiskers traveling over my fur and the feel of your body pressed against mine. We are still young, yet this must be real. You coming closer to me, the night still new, and an unasked question lingering in your eyes. "Not yet," I told you; so foolishly I told you… No doubt you love a ThunderClan cat and you only stayed the rest of the night to humor me. Oh, but I know I'm in love with you.

Blackstar, my leader, begins to report. Suddenly, the familiar scent that I love swirls around me and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I obediently follow him into the thick undergrowth.

Weird. There are traces of super-stale scent in here. Leafpool and Crowfeather…?

Who cares? I'm with him again

"You do feel the same as me, right?" His voice sounds desperate and I feel my heart melt.

"Of course I do."

"Good! I was worried for a moment there…" Beyond his voice I can hear the Clans moving around. The Gathering must be over.

"I think it's over."

He looks crestfallen. "Can we meet again somewhere? Like, meet me here in two sunrises at twilight." Hope sparkles in his eyes.

Like I said already, I've melted. Obviously I want to meet him. "Definitely. Go safely, my love."

Whoa. Did I just say that?

He loved hearing it. I can tell. "You too." He brushes his pointed muzzle across my cheek and whips away into the night, dissolving into a pack of his Clanmates. A twinge of sadness grows in my heart, but I force it down and slip into the mass that is my Clan, trying to act natural. Apparently I succeed, because no one says anything, so I sink into my thoughts.

I only told myself it was sweet nothings. In case he too was only playing, so if he ever denied me I would be able to say, 'so?' I will remember, Oakpaw. You're a fool if you think I won't. Oakpaw too had claimed to love me but I didn't see his web of lies until it was far too late. He only wanted to love me secretly, which meant nothing. So when Ivypaw asked about us, he denied anything and everything… such pain I had never known.

If that ThunderClan apprentice hadn't been there that day, by the Twoleg paths, I believe I would have jumped. Jumped, from much too high, to a certain death. But when I saw him, all my suicidal thoughts vanished. All that mattered was him. I was rewarded for it far too many times, simply by seeing his feelings shine in his eyes.

And I want him so badly it takes my breath away.

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Woah… sappy. But I still like it.

Everyone who guessed the cats' names was right, and this is the last 'anonymous' chapter I'm going to write. The rest will actually say their names, 'cause I think this is hard to follow. Thank you everyone for reviewing!!

from Aquastream