Back To The Start

Cooper's first month on the island was a whirlwind.

Firstly; she'd been shuttled to this mysterious place on a submarine, and been drugged for the entire trip. She didn't know how long they had been travelling; and no one seemed keen to tell her. Dazed from the adventure of it all, she let it pass and allowed the overwhelming island to take her over. It was beautiful. She wondered if it was a part of Fiji or Hawaii; it had that picturesque appeal to it, she imagined the beaches were filled with tourists and locals, however they weren't. There didn't seem to be anyone around; except for the people who came on the submarine.

She met Ethan, a seemingly nice man with shaggy, dirty blonde hair who guided her from the submarine, across the jetty and to the shore. It was there they began a trek through the jungle. At first Cooper thought it was just some sort of tour, something perhaps they did to every person who came here, but the lack of trail and the amount of times she slipped over on unsteady footing told her different.

Click, click, click...

This damn watch..., Cooper cussed under her breath. Every time she walked, it would click against the button on the side pocket of her favourite jeans. She almost expected it now; it had been happening for years.

What she didn't expect, was her favourite part of the trek. The place she would come to know of as 'home'.

It was odd; seeing a village in the centre of what seemed to be a very isolated island. She hadn't seen any roads or other buildings, or even power lines. But this place; was like a sweet, little neighbourhood. Ethan pointed things out to her as they walked, gesturing to the motor pool to her right where a very old jeep was being worked on by a couple of people who smiled and waved. Further up the path was a playground, and a few larger buildings that Ethan said weren't of much use anymore, but he paused outside the largest room and told Cooper with a smile it was where she would be doing most of her work.

Then they came to the houses. Cooper was shocked when Ethan told her the whole thing would be her own. Having just come from Rwanda where she spent the night in a thin, canvas tent with a fairly inconsistent fly screen; and now she had a beautiful, pale sun yellow home with a porch complete with two chairs and a table as well as lush, green plants on either side of the door.

Whilst Cooper had been gushing over the home; she almost didn't see the man coming through the screen door. He had a single sunflower in his hand which he handed over to her with a smile as he introduced himself, "Hello, Cooper," He said. "My name is Benjamin Linus. Welcome to the island."

"Thank you," Cooper took the delicate flower from him; unsure of what to make of him. He seemed nice enough; even though his smile was a little too big, and his eyes a little too wide. "This is beautiful," She gestured to the house. "I really don't need this much space..."

Ben waved a hand at her, as if it was no trouble. "We want you to be comfortable while you're here."

Comfortable; she was. At least for a little while. It took about a week for her to be settled, every day Ben, who Cooper soon realized was the man in charge, or Ethan brought her a new stack of books of files on infertility cases on the island. It was definitely intriguing. Something happened to these women during the course of their pregnancy that caused their bodies to react as if they were fighting a disease. Cooper had never seen anything like it; not so frequently in such a confined area.

It was during her second month that Cooper received her first patient. Lexie. She was thirty, and married to Edward; a thoroughly friendly man who was rarely seen out of his overalls, stained in oil from working in the Motor Pool all day. Lexie came to Cooper barely pregnant, four weeks according to her ultrasound.

Cooper had set up a neat little office for herself at The Staff; a hatch which was located a fair way away from her home. On a whole other island, to be exact. She had to take a paddle raft to get there.

Click, click, click...

Her watch again, every time she brought the paddle down on her left hand side, it would scrape against the boat. It was quite an old fashioned vessel, she felt she could do it in half the time if it were motorized, but the equipment in the medical hatch was in good condition; if a little outdated. It was here she collected her data, and ran tests.

Lexie was in perfect health, as was her child. And they stayed that way for so long, Cooper was beginning to wonder why the heck she'd been brought to this place if Lexie was on track to give birth right on schedule.

When Lexie began to feel nauseous in the start of her second trimester, even though she had experienced no morning sickness in her first, Cooper wasn't too worried. She attributed the nausea to Lexie's heightened senses, adjusting to the smells around her; but the problem was; that the sickness never subsided.

Two weeks later; Cooper was awoken in the very early hours of the morning by Edward, who was petrified because Lexie had awakened him, telling him she couldn't breathe. That was when Cooper moved her from her home, to The Staff. She needed oxygen administered through a mask; and she needed to be monitored.

Cooper didn't leave The Staff for the next three weeks. She only came back out into the sunlight, after she had pronounced Lexie dead.

It had all happened so fast. Lexie slipped into a coma, suddenly and for no apparent reason. She stayed in this state for three days, Edward at her side, before her heart gave out and she slipped away.

Cooper was distraught; she had no idea what had happened. She hadn't been prepared, she hadn't been equipped. She'd delivered babies in the most remote parts of the world, she'd comforted women through miscarriages and stillbirths, she'd wept as teenage mothers died delivering their too-small infants; she'd seen the worst of the worst. But this? This felt like worse than worse... because even in those devastating moments; she had known what to do. But with Lexie... nothing had worked. None of her training had helped; she had still died.

To Ben and everyone else; this had been the expected outcome. They were all very apologetic to Cooper; to which she became highly unnerved. They were reacting in completely the wrong manner. This was their friend; they should be grieving. Not pitying her.

The morning following Lexie's funeral, Cooper found herself wandering off the path that lead back home; she came to a clearing, sat against a tree trunk and clutched her arms around her knees.

Click, click, click...

Again, her watch grazed the button on her jeans as she slid to the ground. Her mind was still clouded; all the things she did... the things she should have done, what could she have done differently? Staring down, she scrutinized her watch. The chipped band, the cracked face covered in smudges and scrapes. The hands; reading the same time it did every moment of every day since she'd received it.

The watch was broken. It had always been broken. That's not why she wore it every day. That wasn't why she grew anxious if she took it off, and it wasn't why she stared at it in moments like this, moments when she needed comfort. The watch symbolized something to her, a kind of mantra that she chose to believe; because it was the only thing that helped her get through the horrors of her work.

Even as time stands still, I will keep moving.

xxx