Greatest apologies readers, the holiday caught up to me and then I realized I hadn't updated this chapter. Hopefully it will be worth it and I will try to get the next chapter up shortly! Part of my problem is I have an NCIS:LA fic rattling around in my head distracting me! But I think it's contained for the moment.

The song is so lovely this chapter that I had to quote more than I usually do. Enjoy!

Again thank you for the reviews, they are wonderful to read and put a smile on my face. Please continue!

It's innocence, within the maze
But I have chosen the wrong way
And I'm still getting over who I was
There's no sense of trust, no definition of love

So, shed some light on me, and hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me, and tell me something that Ill believe

I know now it's not who you are, it's who you know
And I see clearly now, which way to go
I remember the way I fell from above
And I recall, the way I was

So, shed some light on me, and hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me, and tell me something that Ill believe in
Shed Some Light, Shinedown

Chapter Five: Shed Some Light

Realizing they were not going to make it back to the street before the other man caught up with them Tony grasped Ziva's arm, stopping her, and leaned into her ear.

"Play along," he whispered. Then louder he said: "Here looks good, babe." He gently pushed her up against the building, lips coming down hard on hers.

Quickly she recognized the situation, Tony's solution, and returned the kiss. She told herself that her enthusiastic reaction was acting to sell their cover, but even Ziva didn't quite believe it. Before she realized it, his tongue was gently probing her lips, asking for entry— which she quickly granted and as he pushed past she let out a low groan.

Suddenly his hand was under her dress and she momentarily froze before allowing him to pick her leg up and place it around his waist, his hand continuing a path toward her behind.

Finally the cowboy reached them and belted out a harsh, "Hey, lovebirds."

They purposefully ignored him, seemingly lost in each other, which was not far from the truth.

The other man clearly became annoyed and placed one hand on Tony's shoulder, not-so-gently pushing him back. "I said, hey."

Tony gave him his best doofus grin. "Yeah, well, we were busy, if you hadn't noticed." He turned back to Ziva, getting as far as another kiss before he was pushed back again, this time more violently.

The cowboy pushed his light jacket to the side, exposing a sig. "I don't care. Get out of here."

Ziva opened her eyes wide as if she had never seen a gun and tugged at Tony's shirt. "Come on, let's go."

"Yeah, okay," he responded. They quickly turned and walked hastily out of the alley.

As they hit the street, Ziva looked back; the cowboy was gone from the alley and had not followed them. "Clear," she said and headed toward the car, Tony close behind.

As Tony pulled onto the main interstate to head back to the resort, Ziva pulled out her cell and made a call.

"Abby, it's Ziva. Did you ID that pho—" Before she could finish the scientist cut her off.

"Yeah, I did. Bad guy. Really bad. Miguel Carron, lots of charges. Mostly assault, attempted murder, kidnapping variety. But he never gets convicted; the victims usually refuse to talk or disappear. This guy is bad news, really, really bad. I'm still working on the address."

Ziva swore in what Tony thought was Spanish into the phone before thanking Abby and hanging up. She quickly relayed what she had said to Tony.

"Think we got made?"

His partner shook her head. "If he recognized us we would be dead Tony, not driving back to the hotel."

"Valid point."

Ziva brought one finger to her mouth and chewed the nail while she thought. Tony had observed this habit had started only after she returned last year.

Finally she spoke. "I will call the director."

Tony nodded as she made the second call. "This is Ziva David for the Director…Yes…Thank you."

As he pulled into the resort, Vance came on the line and Ziva quickly relayed that days activities. A long pause came from the man on the other end of the phone before a heavy sigh. "Okay, why don't you take tomorrow off? With any luck he will forget all about you. In the meantime we are vetting some Mexican police if we need them; we want to make sure they aren't on the take along with Hernandez."

"Yes, Director," she said. Just as Vance was hanging up she stopped him, "Sir, any word from Gibbs?"

"No change. We will contact you if something happens."

"Thank you."

With that she closed the phone and Tony turned the car off. "Gibbs?" he asked.

"No change," she sighed.

"That's…good I guess."

She merely nodded and got out of the car.

As they reached the room Tony realized they hadn't eaten since breakfast. It was nearing 2 PM and his stomach was grumbling. "Hungy?"

"No, go ahead without me. I think I would like to sit on the balcony."

He caught her implication—alone—and nodded, walking back out the door. After the morning's incident they both needed some time apart to think. Besides, if they didn't spend some time away from each other someone would wind up dead before the two weeks were up.

Tony suspected that someone would be him.

Wandering around the resort—something they had not had a chance to do—he made note of some things they could do with their free day tomorrow before finding a grille he could sit by the beach and get a burger.

Staring out into the sand, Tony wondered how that morning had gone so wrong. Honestly, he should have known what her reaction was going to be when confronted about Somalia. And damn it, it was his business. It was his business because he cares about her and it was him (and the rest of Team Gibbs) that had pulled her out of that hell hole. She was his friend, partner, confidant; she knew when to kick his ass—literally and figuratively—and when to apply a soft touch. They had always been there for each other—and even in their darkest days his intentions were always in her best interest. He would move heaven and earth for her. He had.

And that's what scared the crap out of him. The last time he felt like this, it had ended…poorly at best. Then again, the relationship with Jeanne was never meant to be and never tenable, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

This had real potential; now there was nothing in their way. All it would take was one step forward from either of them, but he knew that deep down she was not prepared for that without at least acknowledging that she was…changed. Despite her best attempts to pretend everything was fine, Tony could see through her, he could tell she was much more subdued, less…Ziva. How much she let the others see was fleeting at best, but Tony saw what the others didn't. And that was a woman seriously tainted by her experiences, which also included cutting her father out of her life and taking an oath to a new country.

Maybe he was doing the wrong thing pushing her to talk. Maybe it was enough that he was there and willing when she was ready. Tony wasn't really sure anymore and it scared him that she was carrying all that around with her and was clearly wound very tight about it. It couldn't be healthy. All he wanted to do was help her, whatever that entailed.

We have got one dysfunctional relationship, he thought and finished off the burger. When he checked his watch he noticed it was near 5 pm. He threw a tip down and headed back to the room.

She watched him close the door and turned back to the balcony, slipping out into the warm sun. The hotel had provided them two cushioned lounge chairs that she took advantage of, adjusting it so she would be in the full sun before sitting down. She closed her eyes and allowed the sounds of the waves, warmth of the sun and the sounds from the people at the beach to calm her.

Why was it never easy for them, she wondered.

Ziva knew her partner's intentions were good, honorable; that did not make it easier however. It just made her feel guiltier for leaving him out. But she did not want to burden him. Her past was just that, hers. And right now their focus should be Reynosa, not working out whatever problems still lingered between them. But she knew that Tony would not give up so easily, it was his most and least admirable trait all in one. And she knew that one day she would give in, because despite the passage of time, the feelings only seemed to intensify. She was like a boiling pot of water but with no spout, the pressure was building and one day…she would explode. The thought of going to a stranger from psych services disturbed her more than she could describe, probably because her father had taught her such things were a weakness. Gibbs would probably have her benched and sent to psych services again anyway, McGee would panic and Abby…Abby would try to make it all better; which was not possible. That left Tony—her partner and friend, her most trusted ally.

But she was unsure what his reaction would be. Would he think less of her? Doubt her abilities? Pity her?

She did not want pity. And she did not want to be doubted.

Sighing, she tried to turn off the thoughts and emotions churning inside her and eventually fell into sleep.

Dust. Dirt. Blood. Pain. Agony. Horror.

She was back…or maybe she had never left. She wasn't sure at this point, it felt so real and she was so confused.

Looking around she realized she was in a small room, smaller then before if it was possible. No window, one door. She tried the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. Slowly opening the door she peered into the hallway—empty.

Taking quiet steps she moved quickly, staying close to the wall. But something was off; it was too quiet. It felt like a trap, but in front of her she saw her freedom. A door. The light from outside streamed in around the worn frame. She was close.

Ten steps.

Then five.

Just as her fingers grazed the wood rough hands grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her back.

"NO!" she screamed and fought harder against the hands. She fought with everything she had but it wasn't enough, it was never enough. "NO, NO!" she screamed again, even though they always won in the end.

Suddenly she was thrown to the hard dirt floor, her clothes torn away from her body. Rough hands touched her skin, squeezing, pushing, and violating her again.

One hand was especially heavy, vaguely familiar and insistent. Eventually the hands started to fade, leaving her curled up in a ball, dirty and crying. The one hand, however, continued to push, though gently.

Now the hand had a voice, "Ziva…"

Suddenly she woke, but not fully enough that she realized her surroundings and not before she had jumped up from the chair, wrapped one hand tightly around Tony's neck and used the other on his chest to push him back against the glass door.

"Do not touch me!" she screamed.

It was then she realized what had happened and stepped back in horror at her actions.

"Ziva…" he said quietly, concern covering his features. She looked terrified, he noted.

"I am sorry, Tony. Oh, God…I am sorry."

With that she took off back into the room, striding toward the door. Tony knew if she crossed that threshold she would just shut down again and his opportunity to get her to open up would be gone.

"Stop!" he commanded and was vaguely surprised when she actually stopped at the foot of the bed. So surprised, in fact, that he wasn't sure what to say next, so he went with simple. "Don't leave, please."

Slowly she turned back to him, tears brimming in her dark eyes. "What do you want from me, Tony?"

tbc...

I know, bwhahahaha, mean cliffhanger. Ill do my best not to let this one go to long.