Captain Jean-Luc Picard was unaware that his glorious breakfast companion was speaking. His mind had wandered; all over her body and back into his bedroom.
"Jean-Luc?" Beverly called. "Jean, baby?"
Startled by her hand on his, he jolted back into the present and blushed profusely as his hazel eyes made contact with her blue orbs.
Clearing his throat, he replied, "Erm, yes?"
Playfully tossing her napkin at him, Beverly pouted, "You haven't heard a word I've said!"
Using his cup of coffee as a delaying tactic, the captain of the USS Enterprise tried to diplomatically diffuse the situation. Smiling over the rim of his cup he countered, "I heard every word, Doctor. I just didn't process each one to the extent that I was able to comment on them."
Hoping she would accept this, he continued, "Would you mind repeating the salient points?"
Not assuaged in the least, Beverly decided to get even with her humourless breakfast partner. Eyes glinting, she began, "Jean-Luc, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for the past nine months."
Hot coffee sprayed across his quarters as Beverly explained, "I impregnated myself with your sperm after your last physical. I wanted to share a closer bond with you, but I was too afraid to talk to you about it.
"Last night I gave birth to twins. I didn't know if you would want babies with me, so I gave them away. You'll never have to know anything about them. I hope you don't hate me."
Picard stared at her in stunned disbelief until he belatedly realized she was joking. "That. Was. Not. Funny," he intoned in his most serious captain voice.
Holding her sides while wiping tears from her eyes, Beverly responded, "Oh yes, it was."
Still shaking, she added, "You really need to lighten up. Where's your sense of humour?"
Tugging on his uniform top, Jean-Luc replied, "It is a well-known fact that I do not possess a sense of humour. It has been documented in my Starfleet record."
Sniffing, he added, "I would appreciate you keeping that in mind."
Heading for the door, Beverly turned around and offered him a mock salute, "Aye, sir."
Deciding not to bring her up on charges for insubordinate behaviour, Jean-Luc began to clear away the dishes before heading to his duty shift on the bridge.