Part 2
The car ride back to the hotel was silent, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. Jess had a pocket full of prescriptions for prenatal vitamins and instructions on what I should be doing these first few weeks; I had a notepad that I had swiped from the nurse's station, and a pen that I had found in the glove box of the car.
I started making a list, something I hadn't really done for anything other then organizing my shopping in a long time. One, call mom and tell her what the doctor said, before she drives up to Philadelphia in a panic. Two, convince mom she doesn't need to come and get me in Philly, that I will call her when I know what my next step is going to be. Three, try and call Logan; this was going to be difficult, since the only number I had for him was his cell phone, and I wasn't even sure why I had kept it. Four, if I can get Logan, explain to him that there's nothing I want from him. Five, call my boss, figure out how I'm going to deal with the fact that I'm now pregnant and really shouldn't be traveling from city to city, living off of vending machine food. Six is dependent on what my boss says, so I stopped the list there. I tentatively put down, talk to grandparents, tell dad, and look for new job if necessary. I looked over at Jess, who was looking very serious until he glanced down and saw my list; he gave ma a small smile, and went back to looking at the road.
I expected Jess to just drop me off at the hotel, I knew I had lots of things that I needed to do, and I was sure that he had plenty of work that he could be doing, but instead he parked the car and followed me back up to my room.
"Why don't you start making your calls, and I'll get us some room service. When we're done with lunch, we can discuss what you need or want to do next." It was so sensible that I was almost surprised that it had come out of Jess' mouth; I expected some kind of sarcasm or acerbic whit that would keep me at arms length. Jess had grown up so much in these four years, and the few times I had seen him hadn't really displayed the depth of the changes that he had gone through.
"I really am sorry for what I did." I wasn't even sure what thing I was apologizing for, I seemed to have racked up such a long list of things that I felt needed to be fixed with Jess, that I didn't even know where to begin.
"We have about eight and a half months to rebuild this friendship, we don't have to do it all in one day; I will be there for you every step if you need me, something tells me Logan's not going to be that guy." I hugged him then, and I wasn't sure if it was because I really just needed to be held, or if it was the hormones kicking in, but it felt so good to have someone else's arms around me that I burst into tears. "I'm sorry, Ror, I didn't mean it, if you want me to I'll track the guy down and drag him back here, you should have the father of your baby with you."
"No, your right, he's not going to know what to do, he's not going to move himself back here, and there's no way I'm going to move myself out to the west coast just so I have him right now. And the truth is, I really don't want him, he asked me to marry him, and I suddenly knew that I didn't really love him, and that he would never be a constant or good companion, he would always be moody and fly off the handle for no reason, and I don't want or need that in my life." I took a deep breath. "I'm going to call him and tell him that he's welcome to be in the kid's life, but I really don't want him to be a part of mine." I wiped the tears from my face and pulled away from Jess. "Now, you said something about lunch?"
He laughed, "Yeah, how about I get you a burger and fries and a nice glass of milk?"
"Sounds good, but make sure it has lettuce and tomato and onions and pickles and that there's ketchup and mustard and mayonnaise." I thought for a moment, and then added, "And can I have chocolate milk?"
Jess just nodded and went to the phone that was situated between the two beds in the room and started dialing, which left me needing to start making phone calls, the phone calls I had made a list for.
Mom would be the easiest call I needed to make, which was why I had put her first, she would be the most understanding, and it was good to start off strong.
I checked the clock, and decided to call mom's cell phone, since she would probably be at the inn at this time. I wasn't sure how much I wanted to break the news to her while she was at work, but I knew that the longer I put it off, the harder it would be for me to tell anyone, and everyone had to know. I made a mental note to add Paris to the list of people I needed to call.
The phone rang several times before mom answered the phone, I could hear the noise of the kitchen in the background, and hoped that the news wouldn't upset her too badly.
"Hey, honey. Did you just get back from the Doctor? Was Jess nice to you? Luke told him that he needed to be nice."
"Jess was very nice, actually he's still here, he's getting us lunch."
"Well, that's good. So, what did the doctor say?" Mom didn't sound too worried, like she knew all along that nothing was really wrong with me, but the freak out from the night before said differently.
I took a deep breath, something that was becoming a habit over the past few hours. "He said that I'm not sick, that the only real thing wrong with me, is that I'm not taking proper care of myself, since I've been on the road."
"That's not good, Rory, you need to talk care of yourself. You need to sleep more, I know you haven't been sleeping more then a few hours a night, and your eating only when you have the chance, and you know we need to eat every few hours."
"There's more, mom."
"Okay, sweetie, what else did the doctor say?"
"The doctor said that the reason that I've been feeling under the weather lately," another deep breath, here it was, I had to tell her, the first step had to be the hardest, "is that I'm pregnant."
There was silence on the other end of the phone. After a moment I wondered if she had dropped it, or fainted, but then she started talking again, "Have you called Logan?"
"No, you where my first call."
"Do you know what you're going to say to him? I mean, he kind of left rather suddenly after you told him that you couldn't marry him."
"I'm going to tell him that I'm not in love with him, and this baby isn't going to change that. I'm going to tell him that I don't want him moving back here, but if he does that's his choice, but I'm certainly not moving out there. He's too unstable for this, mom, its one of the reasons that I said no in the first place, he can't handle being an adult with any real responsibilities; he only recently got a job on his own. It would be like raising a child with a teenager, and I would rather not have the extra person to support."
"I think that that's very sensible, and I completely agree. Now, do you need mommy to come to Philadelphia and get you?"
"Not yet, I still need to call a bunch of people, including my boss, since I really don't want to put any more stress on the baby then I have to, and this life is very stressful on the body, so I either need to see if they can give me a reassignment, or if I have to look for a new job."
"Honey, I'm sorry, I know how hard it was for you finding this job, but you'll land on your feet, us Gilmore's always do."
"Thanks mom. I'll give you a call as soon as I know what's going to be happening." I hung up the phone and noticed that Jess was lounging on one of the beds; he had pulled a book out from somewhere and was reading and making notes while he read. It brought back all the memories from when we where in high school, when we would sit around and read and talk, and make out, but that wasn't the point, the point was it had been four years since I had someone who I could share my real loves with. I couldn't believe that I had wasted three years on someone like Logan.
Jess noticed me watching him, and lowered his book. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Nope, just remembering the good times, I miss not having to talk, not being dragged from one bar to another. We where so easy, I mean we had our rough patches, and our rougher patches, but for the most part, all we had to do together to be happy was sit together and read, or talk about books. It's been a really long time since I've been able to do that."
"Well, once you're done making your phone calls, I'll argue with you about Rand." He patted the bed next to him, "Come up here, I'll hold your hand while you call Yale boy."
I thought for half a second about laughing him off and just sitting there, but instead crawled up the bed and snuggled into the pillows. "Okay, wish me luck." I grabbed Jess' out stretched hand, and dialed Logan's number. The operator told me it had been disconnected. I dialed Finn, who told me he didn't know Logan's new number, but gave me the number to the Huntsburger house, I tried Colin, just incase, who also didn't have Logan's number. I wanted nothing more then to not have to talk to either Mitchum or Shira Huntsburger, but I knew I had to make every effort to get a hold of Logan, so I dialed.
It was just my luck that Logan's mom was home. "This is Shira Huntsburger."
"Hi, Shira, this is Rory Gilmore."
"Why, hello Rory, it's been too long, how have you been?"
"I'm fine Shira, and yourself?"
"Just wonderful, now I'm sure you didn't call just to check up on me."
"No, Shira, I didn't. I'm actually looking for Logan's number, it seems to have changed."
"Yes, we did discover that, but I'm sorry, Rory, we don't have his new number, he seems to have decided to cut us out of his life. Have you called Honor? Logan may have given her his new number."
"No, I haven' called her yet, I actually don't have her number with me, I'm out of town at the moment."
"Oh, well I would be happy to give it to you." Shira gave me Honor's number, and I couldn't get off the phone fast enough.
"I always want to take a shower and brush me teeth after talking to that woman. She's just so slimy and sugary, it's gross. You know, she told me that I wasn't good enough to marry into her family the first time that Logan took me to dinner at their house. We hadn't even really been Boyfriend and Girlfriend for more then a day and they are already telling me that I won't be good enough for their family." I shake off the feeling of ants crawling all over me, that Shira seems to always give me, and went back to the task of tracking down Logan. Honor was really my last hope.
"Rory, it's great to hear from you, how's the new job?"
"It's great, how's married life?"
"Wonderful, Josh says hi."
"Tell him hello from me, too."
"So, what warrants a call from the illustrious Rory Gilmore?"
"I need to get Logan's new number, its kind of important that I talk to him."
"I would love to give it to you, but he seems to have dropped himself off the face of the earth. Is there anything that I could pass on to him next time I hear from him, if that ever happens."
"Sure, tell him that he seems to have left something behind when he took off so suddenly."
"What could he have possibly left that you're just finding now, hasn't he been gone for like almost a month."
"Yep, he has, and he left a little package, that is due to arrive in about eight months, maybe a little sooner."
"You're pregnant."
"Yep, and now I have run out of people to call to get a hold of Logan, so he will just have to find out when he finds out."
"You don't want him there with you?"
"Not really, I don't think he could handle a kid, Logan is just starting to grow up, and he's so unpredictable, one minute he's stable and wonderful and the next he's flying off the handle and jumping out of airplanes. I don't want my kid raised in that kind of environment; I want a stable and nurturing household, like the one my mom provided for me."
"I think that that's wise. I love my brother, but I don't really see him as being a great dad, at least not yet. I'll tell him what you told me, and I'll make sure he calls you."
"Thanks, Honor. And, don't be a stranger, your going to be an aunt."
"Oh, I fully expect to spoil this kid."
"Good."