AN: WhatisthisIdon'teven Dx Blame life. I do not own PJO or any related characters.

The answer was debatable.

"Most tiring night of my life," CG groaned collapsing face first onto his bed. He still had his guitar strapped to his back.

"Yeah right. You should have been at the Put It In Caps Tour 2007. Anyone in the mosh pit was turned to mush," I retorted. Usually the thought of the first concert Tanner had taken me to made me grin. But now the memory of all the people and the complete dark had me shivering. The cheers turned to screams and the playful shoves turned to hands, trying to pull me under.

"Aline! Se tirer de!" A warm hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back. The red haze disappeared from my eyes to reveal my brother looking at me in worry.

"Mon Dieu, should I get Kayla?" he asked, rising. The rest of our half brothers and sisters were still in the amphitheatre, cleaning up the equipment from the Apollo cabin's holiday concert. The music, loud and upbeat, suddenly seemed very far away. CG's grip tightened.

"You're still getting the nightmares."

"I'm not," I said. It was only a half lie but my throat still tightened saying it. CG's amber eyes narrowed like he knew I was partially lying.

"If you are you have to tell someone," he said, sounding harsher than I'd ever heard him before.

"Why do you care so much? It's my problem, not yours. I have to get over it on my own, not when a little ginger and a centaur tell me to!"

CG's grip on my arm got even tighter, to the point where it hurt, "You're my little sister. Me tient à cœur. How can I stand by and let you destroy yourself, inside to out? You never go out, you never speak. You seem so hopeless. I can't overlook what you've done."

Maybe it was what a shock it was to have those words spoken back at me but all I could say was, "Too bad. It seems like you've only ever been able to sit by and watch and that's all you can do now." Those words- bitter and false- caved in my lungs but the pressure on my arm disppeared.

"Sometimes, cher," his voice had lost all joy and energy from earlier this evening, "I believe you enjoy other's suffering as much as your own."

With that our siblings returned, looking between the pair of us skeptically.

"I'm going to sleep," I said to no one in particular. That was one statement I hadn't meant to be true, but it was thirty minutes later.

I woke up- thrashing, a raw scream threatening to claw itself out of my throat. I frantically threw my sheets off me, they were cold and confining and damp- with sweat from a nightmare, not blood. I could never recall my dreams- or were they memories- when I awoke which was probably for the best. I knew in my dreams I lost any sight, any feeling, any sense, but the screaming didn't stop. Yet, the pitch-black I opened my eyes to was hardly better. I chided myself for falling asleep at night. I was too vulnerable in the dark, when I couldn't see what was waiting. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. More from feeling the raised scars that seemed even more marring in the lack of light than from the cold.

Even so, I was sure to slip on a worn out hoodie and sneakers before I left Cabin Seven.

I know what you're thinking: 'Stupid girl. Aren't you afraid of the dark? Doesn't it make sense for that fear to have only gotten worse?' No. When I was out, when I was free, when I could run and hide I knew I was time. The only times I was afraid was when I was lying there, frozen and helpless, as if I was offering myself up...

I walked into a tree. I found a small comfort in the fact I could still do stupid things. I looked up to the darkened sky, hoping to find the moon or some other celestial body that didn't exist in the Underworld. The stars were there but they looked sinister, glinting like his piercings. The waning moon was like the curve of his jaw, too severe. And every shadow, sparse as they were, was under his control, trying to bring me back.

I walked on but everything reminded me of him. The color of the river in the distance matched his eyes. The snow was like his skin: cold, white, and unyielding. The air was his hands- numbing and everywhere.

I ran. For the life of me I couldn't tell you where I was trying to go but I ran. Looking back, maybe a part of me knew. Took me there, through the woods to the clearing that had been untouched by winter, because I needed to be there.

Amazingly, I avoided skewering my eye or any other appendage on a branch. The dryads must have been on my side, nudging me forward. But the closer I got the more my brain screamed at me to turn around. He'd caused me so much pain already, without us even having a real relationship. I knew what he was like at his worst. I knew how much control he had over my heart, and how much damage he could do to the already shattered me. I also knew how good he could be, as well as the way he could put me back together.

There was less than six steps between him and me now. But I wasn't brave enough to take them. I was about to back away and let the shadows claim me but...

Maybe it was the way the moonlight made him no more than a silhouette against silver, made him look harmless and alluring.

Maybe it was because he turned, he saw me when I was trying my best to hide, and spoke my name first.

Or maybe I really was just a masochist.

I stepped forward.

Dun dun frickin' dun? Um...okay I need to make a quick escape. Oh look it's awesome in the form of sweet potato pie. Aahaha, I'm so high off Sharpies right now xO . Don't sniff 'em, children. Just don't.