Notes: WARNING: Angst ahead. It's not my best Angstfic ever (I've gotten too used to writing fluffy humor) but it'll do. My muse deserted me for a bit, as well, so. It's also hard to write good stuff when the Pain Demons have invaded your head and are stabbing you in the brain with electric pitchforks.
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys, but my birthday is approaching, so maybe someone will give them to me?
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Outlaw
My dear Watson, I am so deeply sorry for what I have done. This is my fault entirely.
If I had never told you of what I feel for you, this would not have happened. You, the ever-respectable medical practitioner, would never have acted on your feelings had I not spoken first. You were too unsure, too afraid that I would reject you. I wish to God that I possessed the same inhibitions. I wish that I had kept silent, as I did in the first years of our knowing each other. I tried, my dear Watson, I really did try. I attempted to distance you from me with harsh words and my vices, which were abhorrent to you, even though all I wanted was for you to remain near me. I tried to avoid you, leaving and staying away, often for days at a time. I tried not to stare at you all the time, as I had fallen into the habit of doing.
It did not work, obviously. My feelings, my love; if anything, they grew stronger because of your loyalty and devotion. After I confessed to you, you looked at me with tear-shining hazel eyes and embraced me, promising that we would be together forever.
Our forever lasted for roughly four years.
I was indiscreet, I admit. But you were injured, and as you lay in the hospital bed that night, sheen of sweat on your forehead from the pain you were in, I could not help but lie beside you and hold you and kiss you softly. You seemed so helpless. It was adorable.
Because of that indiscretion, I can no longer look at you, at your handsome visage, at your hazel eyes that shone with trust and love, for ME. I sit in my cell at Reading Gaol, cut away from you forever. I know that you are here, somewhere, but they have separated us.
We are criminals because of our love, and this is my fault.