Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns the various characters from the Kim Possible series.
Chapter 2 - "Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"
KiY remembered the dust masks as volunteers started to arrive to clean out the theatre. He had hoped that a lack of volunteers would keep the project from moving forward.
Cpneb, whose encouragement set the wheels in motion, arrived next. Ran Hakubi, The Real Sidekick, and Mike Industries arrived within minutes of each other.
"Did I hear a Noob volunteered?" MI asked.
"Yep, Thomas Linquist, another Canuck," Ran informed him.
"Weren't they the ones who started the problem?," TRS wanted to know.
"A little respect here," Cpneb warned. "Don't scare him off until the cleaning's done. Hey, KiY, I heard Allaine volunteered."
"Yeah, but won't help with the cleanup, something about a wedding or some other lame excuse."
"Wedding? A fanfiction writer getting married?" Ran asked.
"Some of us are married," 'Neb pointed out.
"Yeah, but you were married before you started writing fanfiction. Who marries someone who writes this stuff?"
Whitem arrived a little after Thomas Linquist. "I hear lxk won't show up for cleaning the theater--"
"Theatre." KiY corrected him.
"Will you knock off the spelling affectation," 'Neb requested.
"I rather like it," TL offered, "makes me feel at home."
"Great, a Canuck and an Anglophile," TRS grumbled.
"Anyway," Whitem spoke up, trying to steer the conversation back on track, "he said it was too far to come from Sweden for both cleanup and the awards ceremony."
KiY began handing out cleaning supplies when Captainkodak1 jogged around the corner of the theatre, "Am I too late?"
"No! We can use all the help we can get," Ran called.
"You got the PMs saying you needed to bring flashlights, right?" KiY asked. Everyone nodded and displayed a flashlight. He pulled out a key and unlocked the door.
"God help us," The Real Sidekick intoned as he looked around the large lobby, "We're going to get this clean in time?"
"Doesn't have to be perfect," Whitem reminded him. "It's not like this is the Fannies or anything."
'Neb found a tall chair where the ticket taker used to preside over those waiting in the lobby and sat down, "I'll offer moral support and management from here."
"You aren't going to work?" CaptainK asked.
"Managing is work," 'Neb pointed out. "And based on KiY's last story he needs moral support."
MI located the janitor's closet and, after considerable pounding, managed to turn on the tap. A viscous sludge, as orange as Kim's hair, oozed from the faucet. "I think we got a little rust problem with the water," he called.
"Leave it running, it'll clear up eventually." TRS advised.
"Fortunately this is BYOB, we don't need to drink the stuff," CaptainK sighed in relief.
Ran mentioned, "I've asked Captain IT to bring in some kegs of Canadian beer. We'd better make sure the toilets flush."
"Do we need to clean both restrooms?"
"Well, no woman have said she'd attend, but it might be a nice gesture in case one shows up."
That suggestion encouraged Whitem to fulfill a lifelong dream and he pushed open the door to the woman's restroom. A huge spider, the size of a dachshund scurried away.
CaptainK rebuked KiY, "I thought you were done with the wiener dog jokes after your last story!"
"It's not my fault! This place is close to a nuclear plant and we were warned about possibly mutated life forms."
"What do mean we were warned," Ran demanded. "I didn't sign up for giant spiders."
TL suggested, "Working in pairs might be a good idea under the circumstances."
"Think we can get the popcorn machine working on Saturday?" MI asked, poking around behind the old concession stand in the middle of the lobby.
"Clean first, popcorn machine later," 'Neb directed, setting the work in motion.
Other than CaptainK falling through a section of the stage, "We'll rope that area off," KiY suggested; Ran and Whitem having to fight off three of the spiders; a creature with red, glowing eyes which hid in the shadows and whispered promises of obscene pleasures to TL and The Real Sidekick, at the cost of their souls; a mutated rat eating some of the cleaning supplies; and Cpneb insisting he heard something dragging a chain and moaning in the balcony the work went quickly.
The orange substance which came from the pipes had even started to flow in a manner which suggested water when 'Neb called Thomas Linquist over, "You need to find a hardware store and buy a left-handed monkey wrench so we can loosen the snipe valve and flush the water system before the awards."
"Should I do that now?"
"Yep, let's get that fixed as soon as we can. The cleaning is going great, you deserve a break."
KiY listened to the exchange, but didn't say anything until TL had left, "I'm disappointed in you," he told 'Neb. "Sending a Noob on a fool's errand? That seemed really OC for you."
"Well, you should know," 'Neb grunted.
"And just what do you mean by that?" KiY demanded.
"Just that no one will believe I'd say a thing like that."
"Of course you did, look back seven paragraphs. You say it right there."
"Readers aren't that stupid. They know your name is on the chapter."
"If readers are all that bright why are they reading this instead of Jane Austen?"
"Anglophile!"
"Texan!"
An idea hit 'Neb, "Do you know what you've just done to yourself?"
"Uh, no. What do you mean?"
"I can swear, I let out a string of cuss words that will make the little remaining hair you have fall out, and you'll get the blame."
"But you--"
"It's your story. You get the credit - and the blame. I'll bet I can say something nasty enough the censors will pull all your stories."
Beneath the dirt from cleaning KiY paled, "You wouldn't, you're too nice a guy."
"Don't try me," 'Neb warned.
"Okay, I'll be nice. Do you want me to make you tall and blond?"
"That was inappropriate," 'Nneb told him, and then he grinned evilly. "You can go start cleaning toilets, you 'shipper, or I'll make sure that the excrement hits the rotary oscillating blades for you on this site and SlashHaven: I'll tell them that you're really a closet K/R shipper."
KiY was still back in the bathrooms as the others finished and headed to the lobby. They were chatting with 'Neb when Thomas Linquist reappeared, his arms full.
Whitem and Ran opened the door for him. He came in, set a small crate down, and laid a plastic bag with a hardware store logo down on top of it.
"Where were you?" MI asked.
TL pointed to the bag, "Cpneb said I needed to get a left handed monkey wrench."
CaptainK gave 'Neb a look of reproach, "We're going to have to scold KiY, aren't we?"
"Afraid so," 'Neb agreed, "this is getting way out of hand. So, Thomas, what's in the crate?"
"Well, the hardware store sold me a left-handed monkey wrench without any trouble… But do you have any idea how hard it is to find a left-handed monkey?"