I received only a handful of entrance descriptions and/or how people were dressed, almost no drinks of choice, and a single response to a random question beside my own. So I pretty much chopped the entrance scene. We all knew from the start this wasn't the Fannies.

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Chapter 3 - "Okay, Kids, Let's Put on a Show!"

KiY looked at the clock and cursed his insomnia. Experience taught him that he wouldn't get back to sleep so he crawled out of bed to get dressed for his trip to the Fonnies. The theater still wasn't spotless, so he didn't want to risk getting a clean pair of jeans dirty. He sniffed the back of the pair he wore yesterday, "Close enough," he told himself. He pulled on the t-shirt with the saying attributed to Stalin he had planned to wear to a White House tour, "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything." Somehow the quote seemed apropos for the day he expected.

The street was almost deserted; it's hard to maintain tourism after the EPA identifies your town as a toxic waste site.

He was surprised to find several cars already in the lot behind and to the side when he got there. "Who wanted to get here early?" he wondered. There were already more people standing under the marquee than he imagined would have been there.

"Hey, we though you were never going to get here," Ran Hakubi complained.

"Who's that?" Kwebs whispered.

'It's KiY. He should have the key."

"That's KiY? I thought he'd have more hair."

"Okay, why are you people here already, the show doesn't start for another couple hours?" KiY asked.

"Bored," one answered.

"Nothing else to do while waiting for the Fannies."

"Hey, I figured if I was here before the random questions from Ran I wouldn't have to answer one."

KiY shrugged, "Well, as long as you're here, anyone want to help me carry a few things in?"

Most people nodded to show their willingness to help. He unlocked the door and crossed his fingers that the lights would actually come on when the switch was thrown.

"Okay, just a couple warnings before we go in. The giant rats appear relatively harmless, apparently they've mutated to where they eat inorganic material. But I wouldn't leave a cell phone lying around. We think the spiders are mostly in the exit ways on either side of the stage so--"

"Why do we need to worry about spiders?" Kwebs demanded.

"These weigh about forty pounds, with a leg span of around five feet," CaptainKodak answered.

"Oh, well, that explains it."

"Anyway, avoid the exits unless you've got someone to watch your back. Thomas Linquist and The Real Sidekick claim they encountered a succubus while they were cleaning. This is out of the normal range of succubi, but they couldn't think of anything else which would proposition fanfiction writers. So if anything makes you an offer, just say no."

"What about the balcony?" Cpneb suggested.

"What about it?"

'Neb addressed the writers, "Well, we never did figure out what I heard up there for certain. If you plan on writing a horror story in the near future you might pick up some ideas up there."

"Why are JA and KT in HazMat suits?" Pharaoh Rutin Tutin wanted to know.

"Radiation levels are a little high," Thomas Lingquist admitted, "but if we're out of here in less than six hours it isn't any worse than being staked out on the beach under the sun for two continuous weeks of high noon."

Some of the writers came in, took a whiff of the musty lobby and headed back outside to wait for the start of the ceremony. Others helped bring in materials for the program.

"Where does this box go?" Campy asked as he pulled it from KiY's trunk.

"Put it on the concession stand."

"How about this one?" CaptainKodak asked.

"Concession stand too."

TRS looked puzzled, "Isn't there some kind of sound system?"

Ran spoke up, "Captain IT said we could borrow his. He's supposed to be bringing beer."

Cpneb stood the life-sized cardboard cutout up outside the theater door. "I'll move it in when we're ready to start… I don't think this is really Zaratan."

"Well, no. I couldn't get a full body picture of him, and those cost money. This was a cardboard cutout of Eliot Spitzer," KiY admitted. "Photographers had them in Albany so tourists could get their pictures taken with the governor. They're giving them away now. So I blew up the picture of Zaratan's head from his avatar and pasted it on."

"I thought he looked slimmer than I expected," Mace Ecam commented.

"And I doubt if he owns a suit that nice," PRT added.

KiY pulled off a Post-it Note and read, "Did you remember to lock your car doors?" He looked over and shrugged. "Actually, no. I figure a ninety-six Camry with bald tires is pretty safe. I'd rather someone opened the door and saw there was nothing of value rather than breaking a window to find out."

One man, standing slightly to the side, demanded, "Can you tell me why I'm here?"

"Who are you?" A Markov asked.

"MrDrP." At the name several of the people standing around genuflected. MrDrP sighed, "That's why I try and avoid public appearances."

"Uh, you entered into the discussion in the Fonnie thread," KiY reminded him. "Even nominated yourself for an award. That sort of makes you fair game."

"Fine, just don't do anything stupid with me - or I may need a beating victim in some future story."

"Um, Mace? You want to try and organize any snacks at the concession stand?"

"Sure."

"Hey," Mike Industries added, "I want to see if I can get the popcorn machine working. Let me help."

JA helped KiY hang a banner reading "Hostess Snacks are Good" while KT arranged the fruit pies.

"Why are we giving them the advertising," JA apparently asked. It was a little difficult to hear him through the HazMat suit.

"Corporate sponsorship," KiY explained. "There's an outlet for things past their due date by me. They offered a case of the fruit pies for free if we put up the banner."

"There are a lot of fruit pies," KT said.

"Well, after the NUTS said--"

"NUTS?"

"Nutrition Undergirds Triumph Society. Better living through better eating. They claimed the Hostess fruit pies were worse for you than eating a pound of arsenic and jumping off a ten-story building. Any way, sales are down."

"That's silly," KT pointed out, reading the nutritional information on the side, "These all have fruit in the top ten ingredients."

Stragglers continued to arrive as last minute preparations were made.

"Sorry to be late," a stranger apologized.

"Not problem, who are you?" Whitem asked.

"Lxk."

"Oh, Björn Borg!"

"Excuse me?"

"Isn't that Swedish for hello?

"No, it's--"

"'Cause the only other Swedish word I know is Abba, the word for disco."

"I love the meatballs," The Real Sidekick, who was standing nearby, added.

Lxk wondered why he volunteered for the show.

There was a small commotion as an unhappy Captain IT parked in front of the theater. "This wasn't the entrance I wanted," he grumbled.

"Then you should have written it yourself," KiY retorted.

"I sent it to you!"

"You sent me a sketch for a scene! It would have taken two full chapters to write!"

"So, what's the problem?"

"I have other work to do!"

"Would it have been that hard?"

"It was impossible!" KiY insisted.

"Now, KiY," Cpneb chided, "Impossible? For a Kim Possible fanfiction writer?"

"He had himself arriving with Shego, Monique, Kim and the entire cheerleading squad!"

"I'm a musician, I can handle adulation!"

Cpneb looked skeptical, "I think I'm agreeing with KiY."

"Look, I told you before, Zaratan has an exclusive contract with the Kim Possible characters. The Fannies is the only awards show they're licensed to appear at."

"Like the Fannies will really happen today. Besides, I thought fanfiction writers didn't worry about corporate lawyers."

"That's why we post the disclaimer at the start of every chapter," 'Neb reminded him.

"Well, it's not what I wanted," Captain IT complained.

"Yeah, but if you brought the beer you'll still be outrageously popular."

"I guess I can live with that."

The Real Sidekick had wandered over, "And did you bring a sound system?"

"Yeah, it's in the back of the truck too."

Volunteers were unloading the kegs as a shadow fell over the crowd.

"What's that?" Thomas asked.

"I don't believe it," A Markov said in awe.

"Well, we've got ourselves an original character in attendance anyway," CaptainKodak observed.

The old barber shop to the east of theater crumbled as the space ship slowly landed on it."

"Why did you do that?" Allaine demanded.

"You told me to land as near to the theater as possible," the mechanical voice answered.

"I meant in the closest open spot!"

"Then you should have said in the closest open spot. The fact I possess much more intelligence than you does not give me the power to read minds."

Campy ran over, "Can I re-park your spacecraft?" he asked, a bit too eagerly.

"Sorry, she's a presenter," Allaine replied. He adjusted his bow tie. It was quite possibly his first bow tie. It was definitely his first black tux. It would not be his last. It was rented. It looked rented.

"I don't see how I'm going to fit my hull through the door," Sappho volunteered. "And you said vertical stripes were slimming!"

Allaine sighed. "Well, maybe you could hover over the theater and use your probe for the presentation."

" …You're paying the gas bill."

He stepped out, and stared at the casually dressed crowd, and wondered if he had confused the suggested apparel with the Fannies award. Ah well, at least he was dressed for this evening if the Fannies really happened.

KiY hurried over, "Sorry, I don't genuflect… You're a little, uh, overdressed…"

"I'm practicing for my wedding."

"Oh, that's right, congratulations."

"Thanks."

"Does you fiancé know you write fanfiction about lesbians?"

"Does your wife?"

"Yeah, I figured it was best if she heard if from me."

"How did she take it," Allaine asked.

"She though it was pretty funny."

"Say, Sappho will be presenting with me. Is there a good way to get a probe in the theater?"

"She doesn't have blood, right?"

Allaine looked at him curiously, "Of course not."

"Then she can run it through that exit right there," KiY pointed to a door just behind the spacecraft.

The two walked to the theater door. Allaine eyed the cutout of Zaratan with growing suspicion as to the quality of this awards show, gingerly he removed one of the Post-its.

"Shed some light on why King in Yellow isn't really a king?" it read.

Allaine paused for a few seconds, "Isn't it obvious? Has no one ever seen him wolf down those peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches?"

"You and I were the only two who answered those things," KiY told him.

"I think I see why."

Several writers worked on setting up the sound system. Beer kegs were tapped, and those who had brought soda shared with those who forgot the ceremony was BYOB. MI even managed to get bring the popcorn machine back to life and found an unopened drum of coconut oil behind the concession stand.

"I wonder if it's still any good?" he asked Mace.

"Probably. I don't think it ever goes bad. Make a batch with it, I'll see how it tastes."

With the lights on in the theater it was impossible to notice that the coconut oil now glowed.

Cpneb found KiY, "I wanted to apologize, ah, for the chapter being late. Real life and all that."

"Rush job for everyone. At least it looks like yours doesn't need a lot of editing. I've got two or three that I may have to run without enough editing. They proof-read like my students."

"But you'll post?"

"Plan to, with Z claiming the Fannies start tonight we need this out of the way so people can head for the real show."