Chapter One: Amnesia

The waves, crushing one by one over my body in a cruel, chilling cycle will always be a feeling I will never forget. I spit up the rest of the salt water blocking the oxygen from my lungs and cough, causing my chest to ache in screaming agony.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? God, what were you thinking?" I managed a glance at my hero, and winced through the water still stinking my eyes. He was huge and muscular, topless, and very hot. His tan skin seemed more on the reddish brown side, hair cropped short and soaked from the recent swim. His features were hard and rough, like coal and burned with its temperature. But as I blinked, I saw deeper, past the tough interior he was trying to pull. His eyes were scared and frantic, his lips were white from fear, since I doubt he was cold in the slightest. He was shaking. Trembling. Or was that me? "Bella?" He asked again. I coughed again, finding my voice though my mouth was raw.

"Why…why do you keep calling me that?" My voice was harsh and hoarse, throat screaming at me for not letting it agonize in its pain in peace.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?" Comprehension hit him before I could utter another word, thankfully. My throat felt as if I had swallowed whole lumps of coal. "Do...do you remember anything?" I shook my head. One of his hands clenched into a fist as he punched the sand beneath us in anger. A massive amount of sand stuck to his fist when he withdrew, from the impact. "Damn it."

I didn't know what to say. I was shaking from the merciless cold and couldn't get my lips to stop trembling enough to voice the words that were already formed in my head. I wanted to ask him who he was, who I was, and why I had been on that cliff, why had I jumped? I remember the feeling of pure pain and depression as I fell through the air, hopelessness as I lost the light, the meaning of life. But as soon as the feeling hit me, the roaring waves washed it from my memory, accompanied by a hit on the head against an actual rock I didn't see coming.

"Come on. I have to get you home, Charlie will be worried." Suddenly the ground wasn't under me anymore and I began to panic. "Relax Bella; I'm just carrying you to your car okay? You scared me shitless you know." His voice had grown soft as he nearly whispered the last thing. I blinked, pushing away the never-ending questions. Why was he so concerned about me? Had we met? Did he love me or something?

I hadn't moved an inch, nor noticed our surroundings reduce to blurs. But he was running at full speed to god knows where. He hugged me tightly to his chest, stationing me perfectly so I couldn't even feel the bumps and hills he was running over. It scared me he could run so fast, faster than any normal human was capable of.

I shivered and his arms pulled me closer, muscles tightening. His body heat was hotter than a sauna; the warmth was irresistible and comforting. I wound my fragile arms around his neck, pressing myself closer, absorbing the relief of his scorching skin.

Then the thought occurred to me. How can he be so hot? Was this normal?

"Hang in there Bella." It dawned on me; I had no clue who I was hanging onto.

It seemed like minutes later I was nestled in a cozy blanket, that was pathetic compared to the human heater sitting beside me, in the passenger seat while he took the wheel. His foot hit the gas. I would have jerked forward if it weren't for his other arm, wrapped tightly around me.

"Who…who are you?" I ignored the pain in my throat and looked up at him, moving my dripping hair out of my face. The look he gave me was a cross between hurt and truly concerned.

"Jake, your best friend, slash slave for eternity and resident shape shifter, pleasure to meet you." His voice had an edge to it and I flinched. His arms caressed my slight unease. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's not your fault. You must've hit your head and developed amnesia."

I froze, replaying one word over and over in my head. "Shape shifter?" He blew out a breath, not realizing when I had told him I remembered nothing, I meant nothing. I saw the confliction cross his eyes as he debated with himself, how much I could handle before I was completely overwhelmed.

"We'll cross that bridge again when we get to it." He said nothing else on the subject so I buried my blue face into the blanket, resting my head against his shoulder. I felt the tilt of his head as he laid his cheek on the top of my head for a moment before focusing on the road ahead of us.

"Who is Charlie?" He sighed heavily, hand gripping the steering wheel. I felt a few tremors as I clung to him.

"Your father. You moved to Forks to be with him because you wanted your mother to be free to travel with that other dude she's married to." I couldn't help but notice the words were forced yet softly spoken. "Just smile and me do all the talking when he sees you, okay? No need for Charlie to have a heart attack." I nodded, saying nothing else.

The red, rusty truck we were in whined and complained about the miles he was forcing it to travel. The truck looked about a week from landing in the junkyard, it was a miracle at all it ran this smoothly. Something pecked at my memory, something about this truck…but I lost the thought just as quickly as it made itself known. The roar and cry of the engine stopped abruptly, mixed with the rattling of keys. I looked beside to see an empty space. The door to my side is opened and I jump slightly from the scare.

"Relax Bells, it's just me. Charlie. Your father." The added description suggested Jake had already told him about my amnesia. He held his hand out for me but the atmosphere of the house was neither familiar nor welcoming. I searched my surroundings frantically.

"Jake…Jake.." The hand dropped, relocating to a position on his hips.

"He's in the house. Jake!" Moments later Jake emerged from the house and exchanged looks with Charlie. Sighing, he walked towards me and took me into his arms without saying a word.

"Don't…don't leave me…please." The words felt as if I had spoken them before, they sounded as if I was begging. I caught the small smile play at his lips as he kissed my forehead.

"I'm here Bella. Don't worry." I memorized those words as I clung to him so there was no way I would forget. I didn't want to be alone. Something in me, broken and missing important pieces, didn't want to be alone. Not now, not ever. I know I lost something, something big enough for me to attempt suicide, if that was what I was even doing. I couldn't handle losing anything else. Not even something I don't remember having.

He carried me upstairs and into a room that looked as if it belonged to a thirty year old woman. There weren't any pictures, books, or music posters up. Just plain walls. Lifeless. But the feeling I got, the pain of loss. I wondered if there once was life in this room, if maybe what mattered was stolen from it. Jake laid me on the bed, but I refused to release the hold I had around his neck, pulling together my strength. He sighed again.

"Bella, you need to rest. I'm not going anywhere." But my muscles and limbs deliberately hung on, not believing his words. Just words, something told me. Words mean nothing.

"Please…don't leave me…" He looked at me for a really long time. His eyes flashed with recognition and he nodded his head slowly, climbing under the covers beside me. Automatically, I close the space between us and rest my head on his chest, his arm wound around me, pulling me closer though I know he was battling himself in his mind.

I couldn't help but think…I couldn't help but wonder…had I done this with someone else?