Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Written by Allaine with edits by KiY

The title is taken from Illegal Smile by John Prine

Chapter 8 - No I'm Just Tryin' to Have Me Some Fun

"Having to explain why someone is important is like trying to explain a joke," KiY mused as he got on stage. "If any of you are too new to KP fanfiction to be aware of it, we are privileged today to have one of the great early writers of KP fanfiction with us. Allaine will be presenting the Welcome to the Dark Side Fonnie."

As Allaine came to the front of the theater a white sphere on a long cable snaked in from one of the exit ways.

"Glad you could make it," he said.

A voice emanated from the softly pulsating sphere "I'm still not entirely clear why I'm here," Sappho complained "I'm a SelfAutomated Flying Orbiter with a personality implant, not a human. Besides, do you know how hard it is to find a Vera Wang in a 30XL?"

"You're here because you are important. You are a classic part of the evolution of KP fanfiction!"

"I am?" the sphere took on a slightly pink tone, as if blushing. "Well, I will accept their homage. Flattery might get you somewhere."

"Thank you." Allaine turned to the audience, "Some of you have wondered where KiGo writers come from. We are not born, we are made. This is the reason some hardcore K/R shippers warn you against reading any KiGo, ever. They are aware you may find it's not as bad as you imagine. Some of you might even mutate into KiGo writers yourselves, so that it spreads like some kind of contagion sweeping the planets. Whatever you do, don't let a Kigo writer bite you. If the skin breaks…"

"Wait," Sappho interrupted, "Why am I here, really? Cut out the snow job."

Allaine sighed, "Okay, truth is we aren't allowed to use real characters from the series for this ceremony. And every other original character in my stories is either dead, a baby, or belongs in prison. You were the only choice I had."

"Oh, thank you, I feel so much better now."

"You asked for the truth," he reminded her.

"You still could have lied."

"Anyway," Allaine continued, "the three nominees all occupy somewhat legendary status within not only the Kigo community, but the general Kim Possible fandom as well. Even if you don't read Kigo, you probably know who these people are, you've heard others recommend them, and you may have even glanced at their work on occasion. But this award isn't about you. It's about those poor suckers who were on their way to becoming good little K/R readers before they were waylaid and brainwashed, like Scientologists. Basically, if you win this, you're no better than Tom Cruise. Shame on you. Now get off that damn couch and come get this."

"I agree," Sappho said. "It's obvious that Shego should be riding me, not Kim."

Allaine took off his jacket and threw it over the orb. There was a confused noise or two before Sappho began to make snoring noises.

"The nominees . . .

"Allaine His An Unacceptable Sitch series was the first major body of ongoing Kigo work to hit the Internet. It's not unfair to say that AUS was the series that first set Kigo on the road to changing from just another niche pairing, to the second largest 'ship in the community. The sheer number of hits and reviews he's received speak to AUS' success with the mainstream audience. Although he'll be the first to admit that AUS deviates from canon for Seasons 3 and 4, many have recommended AUS as the perfect introduction to first time Kigo readers who are willing to give it a chance, if only they can be convinced. You'd be surprised by the list of names of K/R readers he convinced. Plus he just retired, so you don't have many chances left to give him awards.

"Rinacat If pictures are worth a thousand words, then her Kigo fanart has said 'Kigo is cute and sexy and sweet and romantic and you will never stop wanting more' about four million times. A very talented artist who specializes in anime-style pieces, Rina has been creating artwork and comics for the pairing for years. She's also done work for various Kigo authors, such as Allaine, Apoptosis, and Hobnobrev, and used the opportunity to introduce her audience to their stories. Hundreds of fans got their first taste of Kigo's allure through the sweetness of her work, and their first glimpse of Kigo fanfic through the links at her DeviantArt gallery. The Kigo community christened her a 'Goddess' for a reason.

"Hobnobrev If Allaine's stories and Rinacat's art were the introduction to Kigo for fans of Kim Possible, Hobnobrev is the most prominent example of the generation of writers and artists they inspired. Sure, he just wrote the one Kigo, Mind, Body, and Soul, but at around five hundred thousand words this massive monster of a tale is longer than all of Allaine's fics combined. Over the extended period of time in which it was published, piece by enormous piece, Mind Body and Soul quickly became one of the most popular Kigo fics of all time. The vile and perverse Kara Fang became that memorable original character you love to hate, and her sister Shia was one of the most controversial. With his attention to detail - some would say TOO MUCH attention during his torture scenes - and his extensively choreographed fight scenes, Hobnobrev guaranteed that the in progress sequel would be one of the most highly anticipated fanfics ever, and that new Kigo readers would continue to stay up WAY past their bedtimes trying to finish the next chapter of MBS.

"And the winner of the Fonnie is . . . Rinacat!"

Sappho suddenly woke up. "Wait, what? You're writing this yourself, and you gave it to someone else?"

"There's a streak of innocence in most of Rina's work. Nothing lures in the young innocents better. Besides, one of her pictures inspired MBS, and she's promoted my own work way more effectively than I've promoted hers. She deserves it."

"Psh. She's never drawn ME."

"Rinacat couldn't make it here in time, so I will accept this Fonnie on her behalf. Be sure to congratulate her at rinacat at Deviantart"