Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, but I do love it very, very, very, very , very, very ,very much.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.
This is how Morgana has changed and how these actions have made her who she is.
She used to fear her magic. Every day she had to fear if Uther found out about her magic. She can't control it. She was scared.
It is not her fault she is evil. For all the actions that have been made turned her into this. If she didn't have to fear magic, she'd been ok. If she didn't have to go out everyday worrying that this may be her last, she'd be fine.
She had the chance to kill Uther once. They rode out to her father's grave. The words Uther told her changed the way she thought about him. She believed that he cared, and regretted what had happened.
She was scared when her dreams came to pass. She didn't know what was happening to her. She needed someone to hold her, and tell her she will be ok, to tell her that she is not alone. The druids told her everything, she was alright. Scared, but alright.
The Bracelet Morgause gave her helped her with her nightmares; she didn't know what she would do without it or without Morgause.
She helped Alvarr and Mordred get their hands on a magical crystal. The discussion she had with Uther repeats in her head.
"From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward I disown you!" She remembered.
"You will go to your chambers!" She remembered him shouting in rage.
"And you Uther, you will go to hell!"
Everything she remembers. Everything horrible and everything good. But there was one thing that kills her inside so much. She doesn't let it show, but it hurts to remember what Merlin did to her.
She had no idea what Morgause's plan was, only that they were going to bring Uther's downfall once and for all. She didn't understand why she was the only one awake. She helped Merlin and Arthur as much as she could. She couldn't understand why Merlin left the knight to kill her, he had betrayed her. She didn't know if he could be trusted.
"Here" He said.
Morgana shock here head. "I'm not thirsty." She said in distress.
"If we get out of here you may not get another chance to drink." He told her.
"If we get out of here." She sighed.
Merlin handed her the bottle and she placed it next to her. When he came back he 'took a drink from it'.
"Here" He said, handing it to her.
Morgana smiled. "Thank you Merlin. You are such a kind friend."
Morgana took off the cap and started drinking.
Merlin turned around with tears streaming down his face.
Morgana started coughing and then was struggling to breathe.
He had poisoned her.
Merlin had grabbed her so she would calm down.
Morgana tried to push him away with her shoulders, but she was too weak.
She was crying, Merlin was crying.
She was going to die, because of the one she trusted.
She fell into Merlin's arms and 'died'.
That event will stay in her head forever. Someone she trusted with her life, tried to kill her.
She was found in the woods a year later. Bruised, dirty and bleeding. Her hair was a mess, her dress was ripped and she was in the worst condition possible.
She 'forgave' Merlin but was secretly plotting against him and the whole of Camelot.
She told everyone that she was trapped and couldn't escape. Everyone believed her. But Merlin and Gaius knew there was something wrong about this.
When she tried to kill Uther and was stopped by Merlin, who made her fall down the stairs and was unconscious, she was conscious enough to hear that Uther is her father, and he disowned her to cover up the evidence of his affair with his best friend Gorlois's wife and so that she wouldn't try and overtake Arthur for the throne.
This killed her inside. She was solid heir to the throne. How could he lie to her?
Morgana is purely evil and taking her revenge.
She told Uther about Arthur's relationship with Guinevere.
Guinevere now knows of Morgana's powers and fears for the whole of Camelot
With the help of Cenred's army and Morgause, Morgana was able to take the throne and is now queen of Camelot. She is killing innocent people to show Uther what he did to people with magic.
Merlin killed her sister, Morgause and swore that this is only the beginning. She left with Morgause and made the room collapse.
But if you think about it, everything that has happened to Morgana has turned her evil, it is not her fault. She needed help when she found about her magic, she needed to know that she is not alone. She still has a good heart. But she needs to know that she will be alright.
She does fear that she still doesn't know something, that Uther is still hiding something from her. But she has to live with it. She is scared and feels alone. She wishes there was no more secrets hidden from her. That she can live with her magic and not have to worry. She can't though. And a part of her knows that if she was to kill Uther, Merlin, Arthur, or anyone that she had cared about, she would regret it, and it will come back and she'd have to live in fear again.
She may be evil, but in truth, she is still a little girl, fearing what would happen to her if Uther was to find out about her magic.
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