Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Written by Cpneb with little editing by KiY. Not sure if that reflects the quality of the writing or fact it arrived late.

Title is from the first line of, 'I'm Reviewing the Situation', from the musical Oliver.

Chapter 12 - A Man's Got a Heart, Hasn't He?

"Well, looks like we'll get out in time for the Fannies," KiY told Cpneb. "Yours was the last presentation to arrive."

The two walked to the front of the theater together. "That's good. But you gave me an obscure title," Cpneb groused. "That was the best you could do?"

"Sorry," KiY apologized. "But it was short notice. At first I tried three different things from the Hitchhiker's Guide. They all sounded like I was making fun of you, or the reviewers."

"You've stooped to some cheap shots already in this ceremony."

"Yeah, but we all know how important reviewers are to the writing process. And I sure as heck didn't want to tick off any good ones. So this one seemed like a good fit for both you and the award."

As they reached the stage KiY realized Cpneb was another man who needed no introduction and returned to his seat.

Cpneb walked onto the stage in a BlazeIT! Search and Rescue MeeZod shirt and a pair of slacks.

"A bit of a history lesson, if you will," he began, dodging the tomatoes tossed from the audience.

"Back in the day when the Mouse was only broadcast once a week in 'black and white,'" he looked at Star and grinned: "No offense."

"None taken," Star laughed.

"Back then, the Definition of Hell for a writer was to be locked in a room with a group of reviewers and have no way out. A well-known writer even suggested in one of his stories that Hell, for reviewers, would be in a room with typewriters and no ribbon; others added the idea of phones with no connections, and writers who ignored them.

"Today, the instant world of FanFiction doesn't allow that to happen: writers can get feedback as fast as readers can read it. It takes a good reader to become a reviewer, and it takes a special kind of individual to become a reviewer who writers look forward to reading.

"Tonight's winners are those kinds of reviewers. One reviewer, who will be awarded a Fonnie, is not here tonight due to my own error, and I apologize publicly to him for not contacting him soon enough to have him attend this auspicious event. However, CajunBear73, along with the winners here tonight, are the kinds of reviewers that writers want to have read their stories: A multiple set of opinions, with no holds barred, comes from the pens and keys of all four of these wonderful individuals.

"Tonight's winners of the Fonnie for Best Reviewer are the Father/Daughter writing team of JAKT, Star-Eva01, and CajunBear73. They have taken different paths, but they have all arrived at the same destination. Reviewers that you want to read and review your work.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you JA, KT, and Star-Eva01.

JA and KT approach the podium dressed in matching twin radiation suits and full personal protection equipment, followed by Star with a super-sized bottle of Windex that he sprayed every few steps. As they looked out over the audience everyone was surrounded by a faint glow which was increasing in intensity based on how much RC cola or beer they had consumed. Radiation exposure, after all, was an equal opportunity experience. JA spoke through his respirator sounding like Darth Vader having a bad allergy day.

"KT, we have exactly three minutes after removing the respirators before the toxic air starts affecting us. You go girl."

KT removed her respirator and began just as Star pulled the trigger on the Windex again leaving JA, KT, and himself in a light chemical cloud

"Thank you all on this suspicious occasion. We appreciate your votes for blessing us with this shared award for Best Reviewer with apprehension, fear and disdain in that we'll now both have to live up to everyone's expectations from here on out. Mother told me 'there'd be days like this,' so just remember: I don't just get even, and taking prisoners is not an option.

"That said and out of the way, giving reviews is much like being on the Starship Enterprise with the self-destruct sequence activated. You have the option to override within five minutes; unfortunately you are reading a book on learning how to juggle in six minutes and once you hit the commit button…well the phrase 'dust in the wind' comes to mind. It is definitely a no-win-scenario for us giving the reviews."

As she paused to take a breath, Star again pulled the trigger on the Windex and let loose another cloud. Both JA and KT just looked at him for a moment longer, and then KT continued.

"In many ways, the work of a reviewer is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and themselves to our judgment. We have the power of flaming those 'poor, unfortunate souls' and yet, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating their story so.

"But you have to feel for us too, as we are beset by the English language influencing our reviews of these stories and here are a few examples of those challenges:

"1. The bandage on Ron's arm was wound around the wound.

"2. Drakken's plot to produce produce was in jeopardy.

"3. The Middleton dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

"4. Prof. Dementor had to polish his Mom's Polish furniture.

"5. Ron could lead if he would get the lead out.

"6. Dr. Director decided to desert her dessert in the desert.

"7. Since there is no time like the present, Kim thought it was time to present the present.

"8. Shego did not object to the object.

"9. Team Possible was too close to the door to close it.

"10. Upon seeing the tear in Kim's mission outfit, Monique shed a tear.

"11. Cpneb's quandary. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

"Let's face it – reviewing KP, or any Fanfiction story, is just plain crazy when one tries to do the translation into pure human thought."

As she paused to take another breath, Star pulled the trigger on the Windex and, once again, another chemical cloud surrounded them. Both JA and KT looked at him, giving him the "evil eye" before KT continued.

"You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a written story in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. Reviewing a story written in the English language which was invented by people, not computers (take that, Microsoft Word and Spell Check), reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

"That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

"IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS WRITING FANFICTION, PITY THEM AND PITY THE REVIEWER WHO HAS TO DO THE TRANSLATION!"

Again thank you for the award. It's your turn, Dad."

JA smiled and replied, "What she said."

Both JA and KT stepped back to allow Star to step forward. Pulling the trigger on the bottle of Windex once again, he moved thru the faint blue chemical cloud to stand at the podium. Taking great care, Star placed the bottle down on the podium and removed a small device from inside his leather vest. Placing the device on the top of the bottle he carefully pressed a small button on the device and then looked out on the audience.

Adjusting his glasses, Star turned to JA and KT, giving the Father/Daughter Team a bow before again facing the crowd.

"First I would like to say it is an honor to share this award with FanFiction's own Father/Daughter Wonder Team-" "Powers, Activate!" he thought. "-and CAjunBear73. They have all given me a lot to laugh at over this past year and just as much to think over too. Plus, you can never tell with any of them just when you might make a "Guest Appearance" in one of their stories. I had more laughs and fun beta'ing 'Open Season' for JAKT then I'd had in some time."

Pausing for just a second, Star and both halves of JAKT watched the Windex bottle spray a cloud out on its own.

"Dad," KT asked her father, "just what is he doing with that stuff?"

JA just shook his head as Star continued. He could not understand why Star was not affected by the Radiation exposure. After all, Star just had on a pair of jeans, what looked to like a pair of biker boots, and a tee-shirt under his vest.

"My companions here asked, a little while back, on the forum just what makes a good review. Some reviews here are just a simple "Good Job" or a "Well Done". And those are fine. Some times it takes the form of quoting parts of the story back to the writer: And yes, 'Nebster, I'm talking about you."

Everyone looked over at 'Neb to see his reaction, but he was deep into making a second sandwich board that had the words 'Never a dull moment in the Hallway' and 'Watch the Seasons change' on it. Neb just smiled back at the three standing there and went back to work.

Just as Star started back up, the bottle of Windex let go another cloud of spray.

"However, if someone takes a little time to get to know the writer, you can have some really good fun with coming up with a review. For my companions here, letting them know what parts got me to laugh, cry, or just plain made me smile is a good start; and, for the lovely kt, a poem or two."

KT blushed under her mask, and was glad that her dad could not see.

After another spray of Windex, Star moved on.

"And for the 'review junkie' 'Neb: when he feeds me such wonder stuff it's like the ladies trying to pass up Sato's PFP, I have to do something that is geared to make him laugh. And when he tells me that the review is longer then the chapter, I know I have hit the mark. Or when he tells me that he can't believe that he made up a new character just for the review Thanks for thinking of me for this."

And with that, Star removed the device from the bottle, placed it back into his pocket, picked up the bottle of grape-scented Windex, and sprayed JA and KT with it.

"By the way, you two: thanks for the warning about this place. Thank goodness that I remembered that Windex is good for everything."

JA, KT, Star, and Cpneb all left the stage in a cloud of grape-scented Windex.

KiY sighed, time to call on Mike Industries for the closing toast… And then he noticed Alex in the back, waving a script.