Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Written by A Markov. KiY denies editing any speeches before the end.

Chapter 14 - A Senior Moment

"Where the heck is everybody?" Alex slurred.

"Turn around, you drunken moron!" The helpful stage direction came from a frustrated KiY.

Alex looked around in confusion and finally got his bearings. Whereupon he staggered over to center stage and peered around in confusion. "Where's my telethinger?"

"We don't have any Teleprompters!" KiY was sounding a little put out now. "You were supposed to prepare a speech!"

"Right! I got it here somewhere." He fumbled through his over-sized Vietnam era army jacket. "Here it is!" He cleared his throat several times before reading.

"First. Of. All. I. Probably. Should. Thank. King. In. Yellow. For. Letting. Me. Play. In. the. Best. Enemies. Kimiverse. But. Since. All. The. Funniest. Parts. Got. Rejected. Due. To. Quote. Unquote. Plot. Conflicts. I'm. Not. Going. To."

In front of the stage looks were exchanged, and the sinking feeling that KiY had in his stomach when he first watched Alex stagger out onto the stage had finally reached his feet. "Oh, god!" The aging scholar moaned. "That's his acceptance speech for the Fannie he didn't win LAST year!"

"Honestly. When. I. Saw. The. Other. Two. Authors. Nominated. In. this. Category. I. Figured. There'd. Be. No. Way. I. Would. Be. Up. Here. So. I. Didn't. Prepare. anything. MrDrP. Is. On. My. List. Of. Favorite. Writers. And. Matt. B. Thirty… seventy… something…" He finally noticed the hissing sound. "What?" Alex looked around again. "What"

"Wrong speech!"

"What?"

"You're supposed to be presenting the award for the writer over 45 who is most clearly showing his or her age."

"That's a stupid award. Nobody that old watches Kim Possible. And even if they did, they wouldn't be into it enough to write about it."

"Don't worry about that now, man. Just read the list of nominees and get on with the presentation!"

"Fine, just let me find the envelope…" He began to go through his pockets once more, eventually pulling out a crumpled envelope. "You. May. Already. Be. A. Winner…" He raised the envelope for the audience, "Check me out! I won!"

"Wrong envelope!"

"Oh snap!" He shoved the envelope back into a pocket and pulled out another slightly less crumpled envelope from somewhere else.

"And the writer over 45 who is most clearly showing their age is…"

"NOT LIKE THAT! YOU NEED TO LIST THE NOMINEES FIRST!"

"Fine, Keep your pants on. The nominees for the stupidest category with the longest name in the entire show are… King in Yellow! For sending modern day college kids to a Rolling Stones concert. Really, Couldn't you have googled "Top 40" and picked a name off the list? Would it have killed you to watch a commercial on the Disney channel? Half of them are pushing some lame-o boy band no one's ever heard of… What…?" Alex peered unsteadily into the darkness of stage right. "Talk into one of those conch shaped cornices, I can't hear you..." He said pointing to his nose.

"Just get on with the nominees and keep your editorial comments to yourself." KiY's frustrated voice wafted out over the audience.

"Riiight… The nominees are… King in Yellow! For sending modern day college kids to… Didn't I already say this…? Right… Next… JA of JAKT! I don't want to say he's old, but when he was a kid he didn't play "Cowboys and Indians," he played "Lions and Christians"… Then we have Captain IT who claims to have all of his own teeth, (even if they're in a jar next to his bed) but has been seen asking for the senior's discount at Applebees and a little bird tells me he keeps a gallon of "Just for Men" under his bathroom sink. And finally, Campy… Who remembers watching I Love Lucy in its first run, still laughs every time someone mentions George McGovern and can't even remember what we're doing here tonight.

"Let's give the codgers a round of applause while they look for their Alzheimer's pills and take their afternoon naps…" On the left side of the theater Whitem pulled a small cage out of his pocket and let the crickets chirp for a few minutes while Alex nervously shuffled his feet on stage. Since Whitem was sitting next to a conch shaped cornice, the sound of crickets carried quite well through the auditorium.

"Whatever!" Alex slurred and opened the envelope. "And the winner is… KT!" Congratulations! KT! Come on up here and get your thingy! …What Now?"

"KT is, like, the youngest writer in the entire fandom!" KiY yelled from the sidelines. "This is supposed to be my award!"

"I musta' got the wrong envelope again." Alex muttered and started patting his pockets once more. "YES!" He shouted joyfully! "Here it is!"

"You found the right envelope?"

"Nope! I found my flask!" With that he took a long pull from his hip flask and staggered off stage the way he had come leaving a bottle of iron supplements and a walker under the lonely spot light.

Somewhere in the balcony an old style film projector came to life and images began flickering on the moldy curtain…

JA stood smiling inside his study, his fingers nimbly typing making a rhythmic tune as he completed another joint JAKT story. Standing in the doorway a rather precocious twelve year old watched intently.

"Waiting for you I was," he nodded.

He motioned KT to sit in a chair beside him. His youngest daughter struck by how much more tired than usual her Dad's manner seemed-a tremor to the hand, a weakness to the voice. It made her afraid to speak, to betray her shock at her old Dad's condition.

"That face you make," JA crinkled his tired brow cheerfully. "Look I so bad to young eyes?"

She tried to conceal her woeful countenance, shifting her position in the chair. "No, Dad…of course not...but I've seen three day old road kill that's looked better."

JA rolled his eyes. "I know I do, yes I know!" her old man chuckled gleefully. "Tired I've become. Yes, Old and weak." He pointed his scarred left finger at her. "When 'mumble' years old you reach, look as good you will not."

JA got up and moved to the small sofa, still chuckling and, with great effort lay down. "Soon will I rest. Yes, sleep for a few hours. Earned it, I have."

KT shook her head. "You can't sleep here Dad, I won't let you."

"Trained well, and strong with the Fanfiction writing skills are you-but not that strong! Twilight is upon me, and soon night must fall. That is the way of working two jobs…the way of writing Fanfiction."

"But I need your help," KT insisted. "I want to complete my next solo story tonight." The great rocket scientist turned environmental engineer couldn't sleep now-there was too much, still, to do. And she'd taken so much from him already, and as yet given back very little in her book. She had much she wanted to talk to her Dad about tonight.

"No more writing tonight do you require," JA assured her. "Already know you that which you need to finish your story."

"Then I am a full fledged FF Writer?" KT pressed. No. She knew she was not quite. Something still lacked.

JA wrinkled up his wizened features. "Not yet. One thing remains. KiY…KiY you must confront. Then, only then, a full fledged FF Writer you'll be. And confront him you will, sooner or later."

KT knew this would be her test, it could not be otherwise. Every story she had written had its focus, and KiY was inextricably at the core of KT's inner writing struggle. It was agonizing for her at twelve to put the question to words; but after a long silence, she again spoke to her old man. "Dad-is KiY my…?"

JA's eyes filled with a weary compassion. His daughter was not yet a woman complete. A sad smile creased his face, he seemed to almost grow smaller on the sofa. "A rest I need. Yes. A rest."

KT stared at her dwindling father's eyes, trying to give him the strength, just by her sheer will of her love and will. "Dad, I must know," she whispered.

"Cpneb's twin brother he is," Ja said simply.

KT closed her eyes, her mouth, her heart, to keep away the truth of what she knew was true.

"Then he's also my other adopted godfather," she replied.

"Unexpected this is, and unfortunate."

"Unfortunate that I know the truth?"

"Unfortunate that you rush to face him-that incomplete your training is…that not ready for the burden were you. Cpneb would have told you long ago, had I let him…now a great weakness you carry. Fear for you I do. Fear for you, yes."

"Dad, I'm sorry." KT trembled to see the potent writer so tired.

"I know, but face KiY you must and sorry will not help. Remember, a FF Writer's strength flows from plot bunnies. Easily they multiply, quick to join you in inspiring a story. But beware for once they start nibbling on you down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Pass on what you have learned. There… is…another…"

JA caught his breath, and exhaled, his eyes closing like the setting of the sun. His body shivered once; and he fell asleep.

KT got a blanket and covered her sleeping father. "So last of the twelve year old writer's I have become."

JA smiled under the blanket and said to himself, "When you're this old certain liberties are privileges with your kids."

When the few lights that worked came up, KT could be seen at her table next to a decrepit puppet. She was white as a sheet but regained her composure faster than a gouda cheese infusion into Rufus and ran on stage with a youthful vigor that only served to further underscore her unworthiness of the award.

"I'm speechless. I won the 'over 45 award.' There is just something so sick and wrong here. However, I'm not going to argue he point. Heaven only knows how I was nominated, let alone took the vote."

She stared at the bottle of iron supplements and walker in unbelief and was grateful that the supplements were not a bottle of liquid Geritol that her Dad had told her about. She recalled the old story about how he and his brother got a little tipsy at her age when they tied out a whole bottle. It was not a pleasant event going down or coming back up.

As for the walker, we'll at least she and 'neb could now have a grocery store race for that package of melt in the mouth dark chocolate they both liked and be on equal terms. However a wicked grin formed on her lips. Perhaps KiY…no the thought was just too evil.

"Well everyone, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. An award is an award. But know I'm going to look back fondly at this years from now when all of you are dead and buried and finally have the last laugh."

"BOO-YAH!"

As the exuberant adolescent exited the stage, Ghostwhiter nudged KiY, "Did you have anything to do with that chapter?"

With vacant eyes KiY turned to him, saliva drooling from the corner of his mouth, "The horror!" he mumbled, "The horror!"

"I'm going to take that as a no."

In another part of the theater MrDrP turned to Cpneb. "We still don't know who got the Fonnie for the unfinished story," he complained.

'Neb smiled and said, "Fitting though, don't you think?"